Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

• Genesis 2:25

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

• Genesis 3:6-10

Note: My grandson said that I had already “done” this one.  The augmentation of her underwear was mentioned in the three-part Deviled Yeggs mystery.  If you read those three parts, you will find out by the end who Babs is and how she augments her clothing.  This Bible study, of sorts, piggybacks on that story to see how a conversation about living as a Christian unfolds.  In fact, Harold Dykstra, until the end, had no idea who Babs was.  She became his “travel buddy,” but along the way she became a sponge for information about God, from a human perspective.  I hope you enjoy the Bible Study.

I’m Harold Dykstra.  I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story.  My time is well spent.  A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel.  I did not know she was an angel at the time.  The angel, for a little over a year indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone.  And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy.  She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others.  She changed my life.  Oh, excuse me, angels have no gender, but the angel indwelled a doll named Bountiful Babs.  After seeing the angel in that form for over a year, I cannot see her in my mind in any other form.

On my first trip with Babs in the passenger seat, it took little time before she became animated, scaring me half to death.  Praise the Lord that she did not start talking until I was stopped and pulled over to the shoulder of the highway.

By the third day, and after two sales calls that were both highly successful, I came back from the free breakfast at the hotel to find her in the bathroom with the door closed.  She had all day to do what dolls do, but I was about to be late, and the customer was a stickler about being on time, really being early.

I knocked on the door.  I felt silly in doing so.  She was just a doll, but I still had no idea how she became animated, so in many respects, I treated her as she requested to be considered, my travel buddy, not questioning her animation.  After two days of arguing, we came up with the term ‘other living’ to mean that she was not a human, nor another animal, nor a plant, but in some form, she was living.

In the hotel room, she had her bed.  I had mine.  She had read the owner’s manual in the car, and she had the whole thing memorized.  She read the Gideon Bible at the hotel that first night, and she had the whole thing memorized.  But up to this point she had always worn the business clothing that I am sure was clothing that my daughter, Wilhelmina, had picked out.  Babs had told me that her underwear was not appropriate, and she had never taken off her outer clothing in my presence, just her shoes when she went to bed.  But then, being a doll, she did not need to sleep, so she got out of bed after I fell asleep, and she read anything she could find, often getting on my laptop and browsing the Internet.

So, why was I being polite?  All I had to do was brush my teeth.  This was silly, waiting on a doll to do whatever dolls do when you are not there, which is nothing.

Babs said, “You can come in.  I’m just combing my hair.”

I opened the bathroom door to see her in her lingerie leaning over the sink to get a better look at her real human hair above her latex face.

I turned my head away.  “Good grief!  I thought you would be dressed.”

Babs, in her most bubbly voice and big smile said, “I am!  I fixed the naughty bits!  See?”

I turned back to her.  Her lingerie was red, having come with the original doll purchase.  The top was mostly lace, but sheer over her ample breasts, maybe why they named her ‘bountiful.‘  Her panties were crotchless.  But where her naughty bits were, Babs had slid a washcloth underneath her underwear to cover each of them.

“See!  All better!  Now, I can get comfortable while I sit in the hotel room while you go out and sell stuff.  Aren’t you proud of me for fixing the underwear?” Babs continued in her bubbly tone.

I replied, “You were quite inventive, but there are two problems.”  I swallowed really hard.  “One is that although you covered the essential things that need covering, you did not disguise your amazingly attractive body.  All the curves are still there.  Even in your business attire you are alluring.  We’ll have to think about this more comfortable attire.  But while on the road, I only have my company credit card.  If they see a purchase of women’s clothing, I could get in serious trouble.”

Babs giggled, “You have never said that I was attractive before.  And alluring?  That sounds nice, but I agree.  I do not want to tempt you.  But you said there were two things.  What’s the other thing?”

I replied without thinking.  “Those washcloths belong to the hotel.  You would be stealing if you took them.”

“Oh, dear!”  she exclaimed, “I can just remove them.”

She started pulling on one of the washcloths, but I waved my hands.  “No!  Let me brush my teeth and go on my sales call.  Just make sure you put the washcloths with the other towels after I leave.  I will buy a packet of washcloths or handkerchiefs on the way back.  And then we can talk about other wardrobe options when I get back tonight.”

She said, “You are blushing?  Is that part of shame?  When you get back with a bunch of signed paperwork, can you teach me about how you did not want to look at me, even with my naughty bits covered?”

“Deal!” I said, but this customer was another of my tough ones.  I did not expect much from them, but the company insisted that we maintain a relationship with them.

She leaned into me, again giggling.  She kissed me on the cheek.  This was the first time she ever showed affection.  Being a doll with a latex face, it felt like the wax lips I got when I was little, but it was a kiss, no warmth, just a kiss. I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face.  She said, “The two of us never talk about luck, but that was a kiss so that God will bless you on the sales call.  So far, you have sales from the first two customers.  I feel strongly that this is the best ever.  And oh, Harold, what is that?”  She pointed behind me.  When I turned around, she kissed me on the other cheek.  “See!  I got you to turn the other cheek!”  She was still giggling.

I said, “That is not what Jesus meant by that.”

She pursed her lips like she was pouting, “Then, you’ll just have to explain what Jesus meant when my big hunk of a successful salesman returns victorious, with a big sales order in his briefcase and washcloths for me to play with.”  She gave me her winning smile, and I left for the sales call.

It was indeed the best sales order yet.  For me, the best ever.  The day after my first successful sales call, she said I would get four ten million dollar orders this year.  I was the spare parts salesman, but this customer wanted a full equipment replacement, with all the bells and whistles.  I was about to make a frantic call to the office.  An order that big that required engineering work beyond what I was used to, that kind of order required a company officer to approve it.  But as I pulled out the phone, the company president walked up.  He had been given a phone call the night before from someone who said she was my secretary.  He was told that he would have to be here to sign a large order.  The company was in a downturn.  Even with my two previous customer orders, we were about to lay off people.  Usually when the customer asks for such an order, they ask for the large project sales manager, but they had just had a state inspection, failing it.  Then I showed up along with the company president.

Odd, the company president did not bat an eyelash over the inconsistency.  I had no secretary.  The secretary called before I showed up on the sales call.  I had not talked to the customer.  I had no idea about their need.  I guess the president of the company could care less about those details when I had just landed a ten-million-dollar order.  No one would get laid off for a while.  We negotiated with the customer.  I ran some calculations to prove that their idea would work.  I then ran an estimate, and the project was indeed for ten million dollars.  Then the customer did not haggle at all.  They pulled out a purchase order and signed it.

My first thought upon leaving the customer’s office was washcloths.  The company president was already on his way to the airstrip where his jet awaited him.  He was excited, but I was numb.  The large project sales manager would spend a week in negotiations.  He would send a proposal that would be rejected.  Then the modified proposal would be carved to bits.  The company officers might have to make a trip two or three times before the customer was ready to sign.  But I walked in blind.  Instead of months of negotiations, it took a few hours.  How does that happen?

Was Babs the ‘secretary’ that the company president knew I did not have working for me?  And can anyone explain how the customer would fail a state inspection the day before I walked in?

When I walked into the hotel, she was in the lobby reading a travel brochure, wearing her business attire.  The clerk at the front desk said something about it looked like her man had arrived.

She arose with a smile on her face.  “Was it a good order?”

I replied, “As if you didn’t know.  I think you called the company president last night to seal the deal, but we signed a ten million dollar contract.  But then, you knew already.  But how?”

She said in her singsong way, “I don’t know.”  The first few times she said that, I had gotten angry, even once bursting out with loud shouts about how I did not like getting that answer, but in less than a week of her being animated, I was getting used to it.

Then she said, “But you owe me a Bible study.  I have a Gideon Bible in the breakfast area.  They have great apple juice and cranberry juice.  You are having a little problem in your urinary tract, so I suggest the cranberry juice.  It will clear right up.”

“But they shut down the breakfast area about mid-morning.”

She huffed and gave me as stern of a look as someone that gorgeous can do.  “Really!  You think I just sit in the hotel room waiting for my man to return victoriously?!  No!  I have made friends with all the cleaning ladies from every floor in the building.  The breakfast lady is super nice, and the lady at the front desk is my new best friend.  Come to think of it.  Since I have only been ‘other living’ for less than a week, I’ve never had a best friend.  So, we will have a toast.  My apple juice and your cranberry juice, since the breakfast lady showed me how to turn on the machine.  We will toast your big sale and me getting a best friend.”

I had no idea that I had a urinary tract problem, but I did not question her about that.  She was a doll made of latex and other plastics, so I had no idea how she would drink apple juice or where the apple juice would go.  But since I accepted the fact that she was living, at least animated or ‘other living,’ why should I ask about such things?

But we sat down at the table where she had her Bible, and she asked, “Why does Genesis 2 say that Adam and Eve were not ashamed about their nakedness, but then they make clothing and hide from God after they disobeyed God?  Since you turned red this morning, should I have been ashamed of my body?”

I looked her in the eyes.  I knew the eyes were not real human eyes, but it seemed there was a twinkle in them.  “My sweet travel buddy, if someone had a body like yours, they should give it back because you are one of a kind.”

She giggled and said, “Wow!  That’s the best pickup line I have ever heard.  Then again, that’s probably the only pickup line I’ve ever heard, but it does not answer the question.”

I laughed, “No, to answer your question I need three answers, maybe more.  First, you should be ashamed if you come to realize that men look at you with unhealthy and sinful desire.  Especially with that revealing lingerie.  Completely naked and you would not be as tempting of a sight as you are in that particular underwear.”  She blushed and smiled.  Forget it, I will not even think about how latex can blush, but I have placed my head against where her heart should be and there is no beat.  (Note: A year later, there was a heartbeat.)  “Second, you should not be ashamed because your body is your body.  Traipsing around naked to lure men into sin is wrong, but you are in the body you are in, so there must be a reason for that.”  She gave me a toothy grin.

I continued, “And third, at first, Adam and Eve were innocent.  They had never sinned.  They had not eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Thus, Adam looked at Eve and saw ‘woman.’  Eve looked at Adam and saw ‘man.’  Those were simple, basic facts.  They knew the facts that they needed to know.  The only thing they needed to know was that they were not to eat from one particular tree, but they did.  Now, having the knowledge of good and evil, they knew what others thought when they saw a beautiful person of the opposite sex, whether scantily clad or naked.  Because they knew what desires that sight prompted, they were ashamed for having produced such wanton desires, but they were also ashamed because they had messed up.  They had violated the one rule, a very simple rule, but they messed up and they were ashamed to face God, knowing that they now have the knowledge of good and evil, and they realize how evil they had been for eating that fruit.”

Babs shrugged, “But it was only a bit of fruit.  Couldn’t they simply say they were sorry?”

I smiled, “It was what that fruit did within them, and it was more than just eating the fruit.  The serpent told them that they would become like God.  Adam and Eve did become like God in one sense, they knew what good was and what evil was.  A lion kills its prey, and the pride eats the killed animal.  They do that out of instinct and an inward need to survive and continue their species.  There is no good or evil in what they do, for they do not have that knowledge, but when Cain killed Abel, he knew what he did was wrong.  The Law of Moses would be many, many years, more than 2000 years after Adam and Eve, but they knew, had a basic understanding of right and wrong, and they had done wrong.  It was not just a bite of the fruit.  It was desiring to be like God, and not much caring what God thought, even though God had created them.”

Babs still looked puzzled, “Oh!  But as husband and wife, should they not enjoy each other’s body?”

I smiled again, “First, I think they learned to be comfortable with each other’s body.  Part of their initial problem was the shock to their system for what had just happened.  I think it was something that changed either the DNA or RNA of Adam and Eve, so that sin nature that they received would be passed down to all generations that followed.  Yes, humans have free will, but our desire to do something from the naughty list and avoid those things from the nice list, that is something we are born with ever since Adam and Eve ate that fruit.”

Babs scrunched her nose, “But you said I was more desirable or alluring with clothes on…  I looked that up!  I like that word.  Alluring.  But I looked more desirable with some clothing covering the naughty bits than I would be completely naked.  But you went to that maintenance shop this afternoon and those guys had calendars in their lockers of naked women.  Only one calendar had people in skimpy clothing, scantily clad as you say, and those women were holding hand tools.  So, if the scantily clad are more desirable, why not more tool calendars?”

I shook my head.  “Not all men are the same.  Some like naked women, mostly to fantasize that they, holding the magazine or calendar in their hand, have conquered this woman and the woman must now submit to them.  But if I am looking for a long term relationship, I want to know what you are all about.  As we get to know each other, we might talk, like we are doing just now, but as the romance blossoms, you as the comely female could show up for a date in a bikini or you could take off the bikini.  With the bikini on, I get a fantastic hint of what you look like without the bikini, but there is still some mystery.  I must continue the courtship to learn more.  But if you take off your clothing, the mystery is gone.  I then have to decide whether to stay in a relationship where there is no mystery or seek another mysterious woman.  Besides, once you see that unfortunate birthmark that you sit on each day, who wants more of that?”

Babs looked puzzled, “But I don’t have any birthmark!  Anywhere.  Not even on my bottom.”

I asked, “Have you checked in the mirror?”

She shrugged, “No, but would you not think that the doll owner’s manual would state that, at least somewhere in the manual?  I have read the manual.  No mention of birthmark anywhere.”

I shrugged, “Well, if they did that and people wanting to explore and find a woman free of all birthmarks, they would not buy the doll.  The mystery is solved with no bits of getting to know each other first.”

She giggled, “You’re funny, Harold Dykstra.  I love you.”

My eyes widened, “Wow!  You are jumping to ‘love’ quickly.  We haven’t known each other a week yet.  But somehow, I think you have known me longer.  And please, do not pinch me again.  If this is a dream, it is the best dream I have ever experienced, and I never want this to end.”

She brightened, “Does that mean you like me too?”

I leaned in close to her.  “Yes, I like you a lot.  We definitely make a great sales team, and I want you in my life.  I had one wife.  She was all I needed and will ever need.  But as a travel companion, you are a gift from God.”

And thinking of what I learned a little over a year later, I was right.  And it is also odd that she knew what was in those maintenance lockers, but she wasn’t there, at least I did not see her, but as time went on, I expected her to know such things, and my mind never questioned how she knew such things anymore.

Credits

Monty Python’s Flying Circus had a skit or two about “naughty bits,” mostly naughty bits covered with polka dot underwear.  That is until they show the very heinous naughty bit of a woman, the feather.  The scandalous television show did not cover the feather at all!!!  I thought it a good way of mentioning the subject without getting too specific or graphic.

If we stayed more than a day in a hotel, my wife knew half the staff and always got little hidden benefits from her newfound friends.  If two or three days, she knew everyone on every shift.  But then again, my wife was human, not a guardian angel indwelling a life-sized doll.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.