Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Editor’s Note: This episode is far from “humorous,” at least in its overall demeanor, but it clears up some questions that some people may have.  And it moves forward a variety of things that are much more positive.  But even in the darkness, the title points to positive things.  It is just rough getting there.

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

But on this occasion, I had to play a role that I was uncomfortable in playing.  The lives of several people would forever be changed as a result, but it was hard for me to play the part of the unfeeling, tough boss.  Everyone tells me how tough I am, but I try to be loving.  In this case, I had to extract truth from someone who was very guarded.  I had to break through the veneer or people would end up in worse situations than they were now.  The truth had to be told.

My office, that is still half office and half dining room, had a number of people in it.  An officious, grim looking, stout woman from city hall stood behind me as I sat at the desk.  I will introduce you to her in good time.  Since the room was being renovated to become my private nursery where I could still be CEO of Lily the Pink Enterprises and also a mommy of three little children, we had removed the leaves of the table.  We had been going to the den for staff meetings.  I hated that in that the Rotten Apple Gang had used the den for their meetings, but that was then.  Anyway, at the table were Lt. Deviled Yeggs of homicide and his daughter Sophie.  Joseph Jones was there in case things turned sideways, immediate counseling so to speak.  And Sandy Beech was at the table also.  The only work done in making part of the room a nursery was the wall for an enclosed area for the babies to take a nap.  That way, I could keep an eye on them, but also keep that area dark and cut down on the noise from my office area, although I was a quiet boss, not a screamer.  There were people hiding behind the wall, where they could hear.  I will introduce you to them as they emerge.  I said I was not a screamer, but I might have to raise my voice on this occasion.  I was praying about that as Missy Matthews entered the room.  It was her day off from both school and working as the second in command of our security force.  She was wearing a loose-fitting white blouse and her MacDougall skirt.  I checked to see, and she had on her Scottish Ghillies (dancing shoes).  When she had one of those days, rarities as they were, she invited her boyfriend, Dr. Angus MacDougall over to the greenhouse to practice her Scottish dancing.

“Julia came by and said you wanted to see me, Mama Pink?” Missy asked.

I pointed to the single visitor’s chair in front of my desk.  When Missy sat down, I cleared my throat.  “This interview is being recorded by orders of Lt. Yeggs.  Please state your name for the record.”

“What?  The police are requiring this to be recorded?  I’ve done nothing wrong.” Missy said.

I shook my head.  “Missy, this will go a lot smoother if you answer my questions.  And above all else, trust me, Missy.  Please, do not evade the questions.  Now, state your name for the record, and state what you do here at Lily the Pink.”

“Missy Matthews.  I may be going to college full-time as a freshman, but I am second in command of security here at Lily the Pink.  Even when I am off work, I have security personnel that can call me for assistance.  When I am on duty while Sandy is on duty, I focus all my efforts on the apartment buildings, the bakery, and the wastewater treatment plant.  Of course, in the main apartment building, we have Aunt Hortense’s lab and the facility nursery for the preschool children.”

I shook my head.  “This is an official interview connected with a homicide investigation.  The name that you and Baldwyn Apple concocted will not suffice.  You have a birth certificate that states Missy Matthews, but that was obtained illegally.  I need your birth name.”

Missy began to cry.  “No, Mama Pink, I can’t give you that name.  That life is behind me.”

I raised my voice a little, and it didn’t crack.  “I told you this goes smoothly if you answer my questions.  And I said for you to trust me.  If I did not care, I would have Lt. Yeggs put you in cuffs and take you to the police precinct.  I convinced him that this method was better.  You would open up to me easier.  You may state why you do not wish to answer, but the lives of many people rest upon truthful answers.  And one of those lives is your own.  Your birth name!  Now!”

Missy protested, “But, Mama Pink!  If I tell you and it gets back to my Mama, my daughter will be injured and her daughter too!  I can’t do that.”

I turned to Sandy, “Will someone get her a tissue!  Her blouse is getting wet.”

Sandy jumped up and walked to Missy.  “Here, Missy, have the whole box, and remember, trust Mommy Tinkie.  She can take care of anything that you fear.”

Missy continued to sob, as she wiped the tears from her eyes.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sophie whisper to her father.  He said, “Sure, you can do that, but do not help her with any answers.  I doubt if you know the answers anyway.”

Sophie hurried over and held Missy’s hand.  Sophie winked, “It’s okay, Missy.  Just answer the questions and do so honestly.  It’s time for the little lies to go away.”

I picked up a pen on my desk.  I had no idea why.  I tapped it a few times on the desk, and then said, “I am waiting for an answer.”

Missy said, “Not until I know my child and her child are safe!”

I mused, “Missy, when we had our first one-on-one meeting, you talked about how you did not know your biological father, but you were named after him, in a way.  You said you wanted to be called Misty.  You liked Ray Stevens’ version of that song, but that was a lie too.  Is that not right, Camista?!”

“Don’t say that word!  Don’t call me that!  Mama will know, and she will hurt my children!  And if I went back there, she’d kill me!”

I got louder, “Let me worry about that!  Trust me!  Answer my questions, Camista, or do you secretly go by Cammie?”

Missy looked into Sophie’s eyes for help, but all Sophie did was hold her hand, trying to not cry, but failing at that.

When Missy turned back to me, she said, “For your stupid record, my name, at birth, is Camista Collins.  My father was a Campbell.  I think it was Felix Campbell.  My Mama was Ruth Collins.  Her father was a Ruthven.  It became a family tradition to find people of Scottish descent to impregnate the women to get children that were less black.  Mama worked as a cleaning lady for the restaurant where they had the Scottish Highlander Club meetings and she talked to men in their kilts.  With each new child, the given name would have a part of the father’s clan name in it.  Mama’s name was easy, Ruth.  I was Camista.  Mama forced me to have sex with a teenager named Robert Menzies.  I named my daughter Menzie Collins.  I heard she had a daughter and named her Lauren Collins.  I am thinking Mama found a MacLaren to bed her down.  Is that enough for the record?” She spit the last words out with venom.

I asked, “And what of your midnight escape when you learned that since you had weened your daughter from your breast that you were about to be bedded once more?  What of that is a lie?  Did you dream that escape plan all on your own as a fourteen-year-old?”

Missy looked at the floor.  “Please, Mama Pink, I don’t want to say this.  She made me promise to cut all ties with the Collins house for everybody’s good.”

“Who?!”

Missy began to sob again, unable to talk.  Sophie put her arm around her.  She did not have the bear hug skills of her father or her brother Blaise, but it calmed Missy enough to talk.  Sophie pulled away, continuing to hold her hand.

Missy said, “My sister, four years older.  Claire.  Her father was a Sinclair.  She escaped after she had two children.  Mama knew where she had gone.  She sent a letter with blood on it, claiming it was blood from each of the children.  Mama had beaten the children, but it might not have been their bloodstain on the letter.  Claire came back to protect the children and Mama beat her nearly to death.  Uncle Jasper pulled Mama off and took Claire to the hospital.  Said she fell down the stairs, but our house had no stairs.  They tried to fix Claire, but she was unable to walk right ever since.  She was always in a lot of pain.  Mama thought our bedroom was safe, cause the window was painted over so many times, it wouldn’t budge.  Claire got a chisel.  Each night, she worked at that window.  The night she got the window free to move, we both heard Mama arranging for my next boy to bed me down.  Claire opened the window and said to run and never mention Camista Collins ever again.  Please, Mama Pink, it’s not just my kids, but Claire too.”

“You said that Claire was in constant pain.  Did she take medicine for that?  Did she do any drugs?”

Missy shook her head.  “No, Claire had friends in school that died from overdoses.  She took two acetaminophen before bed, just to help her sleep.  She refused to take any more during the day when it might get really bad.  She said that if she could birth babies, she could handle the pain from just walking and cleaning house.”

I asked, “Did anyone else in the house do drugs?”

Missy shrugged, “I was fourteen when I flew out that window and started running.  I think Uncle Jasper might have done some stuff.  He had highs and lows.  At times, he would act goofy.  Now, looking back, I might have suspected drugs if I knew what to look for back then.”

I inhaled and collected my thoughts.  “We need to learn more about your ordeal.  You told me that you thought you would rather get paid for sex rather than give it away to make more babies for your Mama.  Is that all true?  Was that your plan?”

Missy shook her head, “Not really.  I had no place to go.  I just kept running.  I got to the far side of Tracy and the thought of needing food came to mind.  I asked around and no one would hire me at my age without parental approval, and then my hours would be limited.  I had no way to work to get money.  I was so stupid, that I had no idea that homeless folk gather under bridges and in alleys.  I sat at the curb, next to a side street.  A guy drove up and asked me what I needed.  I said that I needed food.  He said he would buy me food if I did things to him.  And that’s where that all started, right there in the front seat of his car.  Instead of sitting on the curb, I started standing under a streetlight on the main street.  Then a pimp caught me.  He took me to his apartment and gave me the first bath I had in three weeks.  I wasn’t with him a week before Baldwyn and another Apple, a teenager, walked into the apartment.  While the teenager had me in the bedroom, Baldwyn talked business with my pimp.  When we were done, the teenager told Baldwyn that I would do.  Baldwyn pulled out a gun and put a bullet between the pimp’s eyes.  Baldwyn grabbed the two girls that were in another bedroom, and we all moved here.”

I asked, “Do you think you could recognize the teenager?  I have a lot of old family photographs.”

Missy shrugged, “I think it was Empire, but, Mama Pink, that was fourteen years ago.  I don’t know if I could say for sure, and putting a dime on the head of Organized Crime in Tracy could get you killed.  First, Mama wanting to kill me, and now Empire.  You are digging me a hole, and the hole is six feet deep.”  The tears began to flow again.

I asked, “I know this is distasteful.  You have never told me what specialty you were in Baldwyn’s stable.  I know this is hard on you, but what did you do for him?”

Missy said, “For you, you knew I was a teenager, and younger than the birth certificate that Baldwyn gave you.  I washed dishes in the kitchen and mopped floors, helping the other girls clean up their rooms after, you know.  You knew you would get in trouble putting me in the cider house.  You wanted all us girls to be half time with you and half with Baldwyn.  And you did not like the Baldwyn half.  When Sandy came along, I was old enough to do anything, and she picked me up as a security guard.  She and the other guards taught me enough to pass my G.E.D.  But Baldwyn had someone ask him for the slave experience, and Baldwyn was such a sick minded man, he knew what that meant.  We had darker skinned people here than me, but he chose me.  He said that I would not have to do as much with him personally if I took on the job.  I was stripped naked.  He fitted me with a collar and shackles on my arms and ankles.  After the first time when Baldwyn locked me into chains, one of the other girls fixed me up after that.  The man who came in had the keys, but it depended on how sick he was.  He might just do things with me chained, or he would play the role of emancipator and I was supposed to be very grateful, if you know what I mean.  I had both.  Mostly the first one.”

I muttered, “I now feel guilty for convincing my father to not beat Baldwyn up anymore.  Like Daddy said, death ends Baldwyn’s misery, so no one wanted to kill him.”

I snapped out of it.  “And now, what are your interests?  It seems you have made Scottish culture an obsession.”

Missy smiled for the first time.  “I would rather not let Angus know that I always had an interest in Scottish culture.  You know.  I want him to think that his charm was the big reason.  To be honest, it was.  I might have listened to a bagpipe video every now and then.  I read a few books about Scotland.  But that was just because my father and my first boy in bed were Scottish.  But once I saw Angus in his kilt down by the wastewater treatment plant, I was smitten.  I have already preregistered for the Spring semester and I have more classes along the Scottish vein.  Bagpipes is the only thing he will teach though.  By the Christmas parade, the T.R.U.S.T. Pipe and Drum Corps will be a reality.  I still don’t have a declared major.  But it won’t be in chemistry.  That class is kicking me hard.  But other than a me and Angus update, I am planning the security for the big double wedding where I will be Sandy’s Maid of Honor.  I have talked to the people at the Secret Service, just in case the Vice President shows up.  They like my plan, but in many ways, they’ll take over if certain members of the executive branch are here.  In talking with them, it looks more like the VP arrives the next day when it is just the government people doing tours and the wedding guests and wedding party are gone.  That is pretty much all about me, except for this one here and her brother.  I have unofficially adopted them.  While they are in Aunt Hortense’s lab, they are my kids.  At least that’s the way I see it.”

Sophie whispered, “We do too.”

Missy asked, “But wait.  You said this was an official homicide investigation.”

I looked at Lt. Deviled Yeggs and he motioned that we trade places.

Missy said, “Please, no.”  She started crying again, as if she had more tears to spare.  Sophie seemed to grip her hand even tighter.

Once he was seated behind my desk, Lt. Yeggs looked at Missy with compassion.  “Missy, thank you so much for being honest with us.  Let me start with a little background.  Crime is down drastically with our new mayor.  And I do not say that because he is my nephew.  The local News a few nights ago was comical.  They had nothing other than human interest stories.  Half of their thirty-minute program was the weather and extra commercials.  But that makes things tougher for detectives.  I have been helping Organized Crime.  For the last three days, Poached has worked with Polly Pulice trying to put a dent in the prostitution trade.  And Jim Wednesday was pulling out old cold cases.  Then I had someone come by to ask for some private investigation.  We do not do such things, but I set him up with Sophie, and she directed the investigation.  Since we had time on our hands, Jim and Poached helped also, you know, doing a search on the law enforcement websites.”

Missy was begging him with her eyes to just get to the part where someone dies.

Dev continued, “We discovered that a child, Menzie Collins, was born about a year before you appeared on the scene as a prostitute in Baldwyn’s stable.  Take a month off for the time you wandered the streets and then were working for a pimp, and we thought you might be Camista Collins.  Then Jim looked at the dates and he pulled out a cold case.  I regret having to inform you that Sophie’s investigation into who you are turned into a murder investigation, and we had to take over.  I am sorry, but within a month of you disappearing from your mother’s home, Claire Collins …”

Missy broke down, “No, no!!  Not Claire!  She did it so I could have a life!  No!”

Sophie again tried to hug her.  This time Missy was fighting.  Dev walked around the desk and gave her his patented bear hug.  She went from beating against his chest to slumping into his embrace.

Dev said, “She was given an overdose.  We had written it off as an accident, but then something kept bothering Jim and me.  We could not close the case because other than your Mama and Jasper, everyone said she was clean.  In that part of town, life is cheap, but that doesn’t mean that Tracy homicide feels that way.  Accept our condolences, about fourteen years too late.”

Missy asked, “But who gave her the overdose?”

Dev replied, “Jasper, under your mother’s orders.  As he watched her die, he swore off the drugs himself.  Otherwise, he would probably be dead by now and we would have nothing to tie Claire’s death to your mother.  And your Uncle Jasper is a shell of a man.  I think the thought of him killing his own niece has rotted his soul over these years.  But he still had in his memory enough details of what he did and how she died, even remembering what clothing she was wearing.  There was enough there to close the case.  Your Mama is going down for murder, but then she was still claiming you as her dependent.  Claire was known to have died, but you were part of all her fraudulent claims, taxes, welfare, all of it.  We could put her away for fraud, child abuse, so many charges it would make your head swim.  She will not come after your children or you.”

Missy sputtered, “But where are my children?  Do not tell me that they are going into foster care!  No way!”

The prune-faced woman behind the desk spoke for the first time.  She smiled.  The smile looked like it hurt, something she must not do very often.  “That is where I come into this picture.  I am the head of the division of child support in Tracy.  I’m Mildred Aufdringlich.  I could not release your children back to you unless I knew that this would be a stable home environment.  Your daughter has two children, not one.  The youngest is a newborn, Samuel Collins.  Menzie is having difficulty providing the necessary milk and we left them with Jochebed Evident for the purpose of this meeting.  But in seeing how you did not return to your children in fear of reprisal upon them, it shows you stayed away out of fear for their safety.  You are in college, and the university is looking at inviting you to join the freshman honorary society if you keep your grades up.  That shows responsibility and the smarts to succeed.  You have a full-time job here with a support group that looks more like family than it does a workplace.  You have built-in nursery service that is free to employees.  This is so much better than foster care, I could not think of a better place for your children.  And thinking of them, did they get lost in the spare room?”

At that moment, Jochebed entered from the hidden part of the room carrying Samuel.  Behind her was Menzie pushing Lauren in a stroller.  Jochebed gave Missy her grandson and Menzie asked, “Mommy?”

Missy was too overcome to speak.  Sophie said, “Yes, Menzie, this is your Mommy.”  Then Menzie went over to hug Missy.

I told Mildred, “Don’t worry about Menzie’s truancy.  I will teach her along with the staff.  We will get her ready to attend high school next year.  She only has two years of not attending school.  It can be done.”

Sophie laughed, “With my brother, Blaise, helping, she’ll be ready.  He knows how to ace the required standardized tests and skip grades on top of that.  Otherwise, he wouldn’t be ahead of me in school.”

Missy asked Menzie, “Why is the baby’s name Samuel?”

Menzie said, “Mommy, the boy I was with was Samuel Farquharson.  I insisted on Samuel, or Grandmama would have named him Farty, or some other stupid name.”

Then Missy finally got a clear thought, “Sophie, you little rat.  You were investigating who I was behind my back?  And all the time when we were planning the Bachelorette Party?  I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

Sophie shrugged, “Mama Missy, I was getting paid.  And I claim detective-client confidentiality.”

“But who would want to investigate me?”

Dr. Angus MacDougall came from the hidden room.  “It was me, Lassie.  I love you, but I could not marry someone who was someone else at birth.  You know, legal issues with the marriage license.  You can and always be Missy Matthews, but now we can make that official, just in time for us to be wed.”

Missy huffed, “Is that a proposal, you Scottish cheap skate?!”

Dr. Angus MacDougall got down on one knee.  “Nae, Lassie, this is.  Will you marry me?  My love for you has no bounds.  Love is as warm amang cottars as courtiers.” Then, Dr. MacDougall produced a monster of a ring.  “The ring was won by my brother in a poker game.  He doesn’t need it.”

Missy asked, “But what about the difference in our stations?  After all, marry abune your match, and get a maister!”

Angus laughed, “You have it the wrong way round.  I am a lowly teacher of bagpipes, but you are second in command of the security for the Crystal Mountain of Tracy.  With as flat as this land is, it is probably the tallest point in the city.  And I will risk you becoming my master.  You have not answered my question, and my knee is starting to hurt.”

Note: The Crystal Mountain, or the peak of the greenhouse, is much shorter than some of the tall buildings in the city center, but as for the rich part of town, it towers over the countryside.

Missy laughed, “Yes, Char, my big white bull.  Yes, I will marry you, but when?  And will you accept some last-minute baggage?  Now that I have my hands on these three, I am not letting go.”

Angus huffed, “What do you think I have been doing while your boss has been in here making you cry?  If you had kicked them out, I would take them as me bairns.  And as for when, I have reserved the Crystal Mountain for a New Years Eve bash.  Do you mind if we do not consummate our marriage until the next day?  The party canna end until the T.R.U.S.T. Pipe and Drum Corps plays Auld Lang Syne, now can it?”

Missy began to cry again, “No, Angus, no, it cannot.  But can I take bagpipe lessons from my husband next semester?”

Angus smiled, “You have survived being teacher’s pet this semester.  I think you can handle anything.”

Mildred asked, “What is this Crystal Mountain Angus is talking about?”

Sophie laughed, “You have not been to Lily the Pink until you have been to the greenhouse.  There is a waterfall, a few of them, but one is huge.  And two waterslides.  Menzie, they are great fun.”

Menzie said, “But I can’t swim.”

Sophie smiled, “But, Aunt Pink has certified lifeguards who can teach you.  And Angus, I’ll send you my bill!”

As Jochebed took charge of the babies, Sophie led Menzie and Mildred into the greenhouse.

And I doubt if Angus heard a word about the impending bill.  He and Missy were kissing.  In fact, it might be a kiss that would rival Sophie and Emmett’s kiss that kicked off the summer.

Credits

Mildred was prune-faced, like Dick Tracy villain, Pruneface

Aufdringlich – Officious in German

Scotsmen being cheap is an old cliché.

Love is as warm amang cottars as courtiers – meaning love has no bounds.
Marry abune your match, and get a maister – meaning marry above your station and you get a master.
Bairns – children

• Colin S. K. Walker, Scottish Proverbs

I kept thinking that Missy’s past might come back to haunt her, but this kind of fell into place.  After all, if Angus tries to become an American citizen by marrying an American who has a fake birth certificate, it might get messy.