Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

Pauline Niblick came into my office without knocking.  “What is going on, Pink?  Jochebed said that before I could pick up Baffy, you needed to talk to me.”

I shrugged, “You know Jochebed speaks English as a third language, or is it the fourth?  She probably got her verb tenses wrong.  But it is much easier for us to have this conversation while my children and yours are in the nursery.”  I smiled, trying to make my little lie seem plausible.

Pauline winced, “Okay, what do you want?”  She sat in my visitor’s chair.

I looked her in the eyes and said, “I want you to violate a trust.”

Pauline bristled, “In my job at the university whose name forms the word trust, I cannot break teacher confidentiality or patient confidentiality.  With my other job that you know about, I could lose the job.  You know how the saying goes, ‘Loose Lips sink ships.’  But really, I might lose my job, but I might even go to jail.”

I began to cry, “But all I want to know is that they are still alive.  You are very fond of GrandPa.  You and your husband work for the same man who told me they would be home by now.  Where is GrandPa and Gwen?  Where is Hugh McAdoo?  Are they alive?”  By this point, the tears were pouring down my face.

Pauline began to cry, “Millie is like the father I never knew.  He taught me all his safe cracking skills and escape skills.  I love both of them, but I can’t tell you, Pink.”  She began to sob.

The door burst open that leads to my shared bathroom with Gwen and then Gwen’s rooms, under renovation to add more floor space for GrandPa and their growing family.  It was Menzie MacDougall, not officially MacDougall, but we are going with it.

“Mama Pink, I finished my math homework, and Zuzka says that if I got everything right, I could have another swimming lesson.”

I wiped the tears away and tried to smile.  “You must think you did well.  You are already wearing your swimsuit.”

“And who is this darling young girl?” Pauline asked.

I turned to Menzie.  “Menzie, we need to work on knocking before barging in.  I know you are excited, and you want to pass the test before we start up the slide this weekend.  But you need to introduce yourself.”

Menzie did a half-hearted curtsy and she said, “Hi, I am Menzie MacDougall.  I live here now with my Mommy, and who may you be?”

Pauline snickered, “I am Pauline Niblick.  I work for Pink Lady’s sister-in-law at the university.  You are as cute as a button.  Who is your mother?”

“Missy Matthews.  She is a supervisor in security.” Menzie said with pride.

I said, “Menzie, take your homework over to the dining room table and wait for Thomasina.  I texted her to come review your work.  I hope you showed all your work this time.  And I am very proud of you.  In such a short time, you are now starting on seventh grade material.  Good job.”

Pauline asked, after Menzie had gone to the far side of the room where the table was, “She looks a little old to be in seventh grade.”

I groaned, “She is a lot too young to have two children, but she does have two children in the nursery, both under a year old.  Oh, sorry, Lauren had a birthday last week.”

Pauline groaned, “Oh, dear, I had always wondered what Missy would not talk about.  That’s sad.”

I changed the subject, “And what is more sad is that Gwen has not e-mailed me in over two weeks.  But before now, my biggest gap was about 5 days.  She rarely said where she was, even the country rarely, usually just the continent.  She said she was in South America with only one stop left.  She should be home already, but instead of an ETA, I get a stone wall.  You were friends with GrandPa, but Gwen came to me as my companion, hired by Red Delicious.  Uncle Delly may have been a crime boss, but that is the best thing he ever did for me.  My mother deserted me, and Gwen showed up about a week later.  She was my cook and my maid, but she was my sister that I never had.  I need to know if she is alive.  You work for Hugh McAdoo.  I know he knows, and he would tell you.  Please, tell me if she is still alive.”

Menzie ran over.  “Mama Pink?  Your mama deserted you just like mine deserted me.  I didn’t know.  I am so sorry.”  She wrapped her arms around my neck.

I pulled away gently.  “No, Menzie, we have that in common, but your mother escaped abuse and human trafficking.  She stayed away to keep you from being a pawn in a deadly game.  But now you are back with your mother.  My mother hated the life of being married to the mob.  She stayed with me until I graduated high school and then I never saw her again.  You and I each have our Mommy scars, but you have your Mommy.  Mine died a few years ago, and I was unable to ever see her again.  Now, please, go wait for Tommie Tat.”

I turned to Pauline, “Now, why are you not willing to help someone find their loved ones?”

Pauline continued to cry, “I am not unwilling.  I can’t.  I do not know if they are alive or not.  My only means of finding solace over your GrandPa being missing, is that I can hold my child in my arms, but Jochebed denied me that.  Please, I do not know if they are alive.”

I asked, “But you did not say that you know nothing.  What do you know?”

At that moment, the front door opened.  Thomasina (otherwise known as Tommie Tat) came in, saw Menzie and walked over to the dining room table.  She was followed by Zuzka, wearing her pink bikini and lace cover.

Zuzka said, “I wanted to give a report about the PLAYground and PLAYhouse.  I am sorry.  I interrupt, but Dr. Pauline is part of the project.  No, no.  It affects her.”

I asked, wiping away the fresh tears, as Pauline did also, “What playground and playhouse?”

Zuzka waved her hands, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.  You gave many millions to the university.  You say Dr. Naomi Yeggs and Dr. Pauline Niblick should have their own building, not borrow space at the Medical Center.  They make the PLAYground and PLAYhouse for them.  I go to master planning meeting.  They not like me asking to be project manager.  I not have right degree.  I not have experience.  It will take years to have PLAYground and PLAYhouse completed with them doing it, but I could have it in one year.”

I asked, “What is this playground and playhouse? And where is it going to be?”

Zuzka shook her head, “When you go to prison for three weeks, the university come here and offer to buy the Dalton farm.  They give the Daltons a small pasture near Stout County to raise a few cows.  They get money to buy cows, and we threw up a poultry brooder house near the wastewater treatment plant.  Sorry that happened while you in prison.  All prefab.”

I swallowed, “So, I am not going crazy.  I am waking up to a real rooster crowing in the morning?”

Zuzka nodded, “Yes, Mommy Tinkie, I forget to make full report while you gone.”

I shook my head, “At least I now know I am not going crazy.  And Zuzka, you are my daughter.  I do not look at the ‘in-law’ or the ‘step’ labels.  Call me Mom.”

Zuzka smiled, “Yes, Mo-o-o-o-o-om.”

I again asked, “So what is a Playground and a Playhouse, and how can a playhouse become classrooms, therapy rooms, and offices for Naomi’s department?”

Zuzka beamed, “What is your name, Mom?”

I rolled my eyes, “Pink Lady.”

“Whole thing.”

“Pink Lady Apple Yeggs.”

“Yes, university insisted on naming the building and sports complex around it after the person giving the money, but I insist you refuse.  They use initials instead.  P.L.A.Y. ground is the sports athletics training grounds, intramural fields, and half on one side and half on other side of brand new urban development levee.  Flood side will have research to understand floods more, but act as ball fields in good weather.  Other side will be indoor / outdoor athletic training fields and practice facilities, and in the middle, in case people need therapy, there is the P.L.A.Y. house.  Athletic Director office, coaches’ offices, and the rest of the building for Dr. Yeggs and Dr. Niblick.  Classrooms can be used by all of T.R.U.S.T., but Dr. Yeggs and Dr. Niblick have priority.  They think they might make building bigger and make P.L.A.Y. house a satellite campus for freshman and sophomore classes.  Maybe many changes since it take so long to complete.”

Pauline groaned, “And now my commute is tripled in length.  I guess Naomi and I can carpool.”

I was stunned.  I had been married to Scrambled Yeggs for about a year and a half, and I never realized my initials spelled a word, much less P-L-A-Y.

Zuzka said, excitedly, “They want Maglev train to cut down on commute.  Buses until the train gets built.”

I groaned, “They have been proposing Maglev projects all over the country, and they have not started any of those projects.  I rode on the Maglev in Shanghai, when it was special tours, before it became the train between Shanghai and the Airport, but most other projects are a pipe dream.  Can you go join Thomasina, Zuzka?  She will release your swimming student.  And why are you teaching her swimming?”

Zuzka laughed, “I so tall.  If she start to drown, I just grab and then stand up.”

Menzie shouted, “Hey!  I’m getting pretty good!  I just don’t know that bicycle kick.  I never rode a bike!”

Tommie Tat said, “And you are getting very good at your math.  I only have one page left and then you go swimming.”

I turned back to Pauline.  “What do you know?”

Pauline looked at the floor.  “The huge earthquake two weeks ago was in the town where they were.”

I shouted and cried, “No!”

Pauline said, “Calm down, Pink.  It knocked out electrical, and we think their satellite phone was not charged at just the wrong time.  They have dropped emergency supplies in, but Huey, I mean Hugh McAdoo, has flown in.  He is keeping his phone turned off to save the battery until he finds them.”

I spluttered as I sobbed.  “But how long has he been there?”

Pauline started waving her hands, “Not long.  The earthquake was in Chile near the Bolivian border.  Argentina is not far away.  To fly in with a Navy helicopter, it took coordinating with three countries.  We have only had boots on the ground about two days, and not right at where Millie and Gwen were staying.  Remember, no electricity, no water, no roads to speak of.”

I asked, “And I have no idea why the US government is party to GrandPa’s wild scheme of visiting women he has rescued from the sex trade.”

Pauline asked, “Can I say something that does not leave this room?”

Everybody, including Menzie, nodded their heads.  Pauline might get in trouble over this one.

Pauline sighed, “Hugh, and his predecessors, managed the money Millie made, plus what he stole from cracked safes around the world.  Hugh used that money to help Millie fund his rescues, but then he asked each rescued lady to not be a spy but send in a report about troop movements and such in the area.  They were never in harm’s way.  They did their normal business, but where they had been placed was an intersection of many roads.  Even casual intel like that is useful.  That’s how Hugh knew where all these women were, with only a few exceptions.  All the exceptions went to Aruba.”

I gasped, “Which explains all the vacation photos from Aruba each time GrandPa escaped from the prison.  And I guess all the ladies he was hugging were the rescues or their daughters.”

Pauline nodded. “Those were the women who could not remain safe where they were.  Since Millie, your GrandPa, never had any illegal activity in Aruba, it was the perfect place for them.  The ladies gather at a private meeting room called the Millennium Club.  People think it’s a gathering spot for a private club of millennials.”

About this time, Thomasina finished grading Menzie’s homework.  Zuzka and Menzie were about to leave, but they stopped when Pauline’s phone rang.  It was the theme music for the Masters Golf Tournament.

Pauline answered, “Hi, Sweetie, any news?  …  Oh, good, I am in Pink’s office.  I’ll put you on Speaker.”

Mashie said, “Hugh McAdoo just called.  Gwen and Millennium Yeggs are safe and alive.  Millennium is under doctor’s care.  He became sick in Africa.  He refused to call off this trip because he thought he might die before the trip could be renewed.  It was thought that he had congestive heart failure, but he has a form of Valley Fever similar to coccidioidomycosis.  He breathed in some dust that contained a fungus similar to Coccidioides, which has only been confirmed in the northern deserts of Mexico, and Arizona and California in the US.  It can’t be that because he picked it up in Africa, something similar though.  Frankly, he should have come home with Asha, but he’s stubborn.  The team in Chile was Gwen, Millennium, a doctor, a nurse, and two agents for protection.  All are safe, but the nurse was injured when the building they ran out of started collapsing.  Hugh is arranging transport, but the doctor wants to stay.  Too many locals need a doctor’s care.  To help the people, Hugh is flying in doctors and nurses from a nearby aircraft carrier.  Once they arrive, the entire team, plus one more, will be on their way.  It will take some time, but Hugh hopes Gwen and Millennium will be there for Thanksgiving.  No promises.  But if they are there, only two of the three arriving in Tracy will be eating the dinner.  Hugh would love to crash the party, but he is too busy.  That’s all I have.  I hope that calms your fears.”

With a short thank you and Good-bye, Mashie was off the phone.

I asked Pauline, “What did he not say?”

Pauline groaned, “Millie, your GrandPa, needs oxygen.  Hugh brought bottles, a concentrator machine, and a generator.  But the best thing is to get Millie back to the carrier.  Please, Pink, do not worry.  They may not be here for the big meal, but they will be home soon.”

Menzie came over to give me a hug before going to her swimming class.  “This family is great!  Cracking safes!  Going to all the corners of the world. Wow!  I can’t wait to meet GrandPa!”

I said, “Before you think we are a bunch of safe crackers just because a few of us have the name of Yeggs, I doubt if anyone in this room has cracked a safe within the past month!”

Everyone, except Pauline, denied having ever cracked a safe.  Pauline turned red.  With everyone staring at her, she said, “Well, I have to stay in practice.  And don’t ask.  It’s, ummm, classified.”

Credits

Urban renewal projects in dangerous flood zones often take the form of relocation of the inhabitants and turning the land into city parks and ballfields.  Most buildings on the flood side would have to be elevated.  If they use the levee system, they might have to employ pumps if the “protected” side of the levee retains water.  The use of pasture, parks, and ball fields increases the soil covered areas that can absorb water, opposed to concrete and asphalt paved areas where the water must run off.

And a little birdie told me that the Daltons are loving their jobs at Lily the Pink.  The small pasture with a few cows keeps their hand in the farming.  Their main focus is the hydroponics gardening to grow lilies for the cider house and the vegetables to feed the employees of Lily the Pink plus extra for the mission.  They might even share the beef when their herd has to be thinned.

Coccidioides is a fungus that grows near the surface in the Southwestern US deserts, and in northern Mexico.  When I was last employed, we had an engineer contract coccidioidomycosis on a project in Mexico.  It took some time to get an accurate diagnosis, but basically, the fungus finds the moisture in the lungs a perfect place to grow.  This robs the patient of air, which leads to a variety of other issues.  It is treatable.  But then, GrandPa is in his nineties.