Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

• Hebrews 13:8

It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times.

• Genesis 31:41

Some people might think that a widower is much like a bachelor.  You are an entity unto yourself.  Will I ever feel that way?  Probably not?

When I was a bachelor, in college and after graduating, I knew something was missing in my earthly life.  I had many failed attempts at dating.  I will admit I never really learned how to do that.

But now that I have experienced life with my wife, who truly completed me, for over two-thirds of my life at this point, I know what had been missing in my earthly life.  Add that to the fact that I do not like change, and you have too much change.

What got me thinking about this is that I have recently finished the Bible Study of the Major Prophets (now starting Acts), the Vespers service series on the Spurgeon, Shorter and Larger Catechisms (now starting vespers services using Proverbs), and I have finished the Bible Study that my wife completed, a series I called “With a LIttle Help” since I used her question answers to drive the conversation in the study (now doing a nine-week series on the last nine chapters in the Bible that I have not quoted on this blogsite). That one hurt a lot, in that I have found nothing usable in her beautiful cursive handwriting. And I am nearing the end of the Sunday mini-series on Lysa TerKeurst’s book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, maybe three more weeks (and I have no idea what book I will pick up next – too many from which to choose). With so many series ending (and the comfort of knowing what I would write for that time slot) and new one’s beginning, I am having a little anxiety. I know there are many more things to write about, but as I mentioned, I do not like change that much and this year has been nothing but change in my life. I am still not well-adjusted to those changes, being a widower at the top of that not adjusted list.

My son just got a new job and within three weeks, he had a week off for fall break in the school system.  But then, he finally had a heart-to-heart talk with the principal.  She was very supportive, but an hour later, my son was in “episode” mode.  His conscious mind told him that he was in a good place, but his subconscious mind overtook his body saying, “She is like all the rest.”  He knew that was a lie, but that did not mean that his body would agree with him.  He was sent home, unable to stand and teach class, but only when his body was able to drive the car.

Change can be good.  Yesterday’s post about letting go of things that hold you back is good change, but change of any kind can be stressful.  My son spent the next few days at home, setting up appointments with his counselor and setting up therapy.  But all that time, the stress of not being in class with his new students was weighing on him.  But add the two days off with the weekend, and that can be therapeutic in itself.

Jacob arrived at Laban’s house with nothing. Twenty years later, he leaves with two wives, a huge family, and large flocks and herds. And within that time his salary changed ten times. Most people see the unfair practices of Laban and so much change, but I see ten wage changes in twenty years. Most people today would be like Jacob, looking for a new job. Change, change, and more change.

C. S. Lewis wrote that change is not growth.  Only change with continuity is growth.  And once we are with Jesus in Heaven, there will be no more need for growth or change.  Jesus never changes.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.