Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

We had an incident at the Cassie and Boaz wedding that sweet Jemima alluded to in her report.  I think it is going to be fun being Jemima’s auntie.  We worked as quickly as we could and as quietly so that it did not ruin the weddings.  I say “Cassie and Boaz” as it involved two of their guests, one who was not exactly invited.  I will write this in first person, but I was not a witness to some of the earliest events.

The reception was open to anyone who wanted to dance after the wedding party was finished.  Emmett Dalton and the band he plays with at the Snazzy Taz got the night off from the jazz night club to play for the wedding.  Both he and the regular saxophonist played, and they already had a standard dance set.  They had to practice the music for the individual dances among the wedding parties.

A very shy boy from Sophie’s class approached her to ask her if she wanted to dance.  Sophie smiled and said that she was dating one of the saxophonists, but when the singer, Menzie, was finished, she would probably love to dance with you.  If she knuckles down, she’ll be a freshman at Vitamin Flintheart High School in the Fall.

Menzie sang several songs, ending with Bye Bye Blues.  They put it last because Menzie invented something unique.  It may have been done before, but no one had a name for it.  She insisted on having her chance at improvisation while the band played the song.  But it wasn’t rap because she sang it.  It wasn’t scat because she didn’t imitate the instruments.  She improvised the words and the tune at the same time.  She later admitted that she just pretended to be putting little Sammie down to bed at night, but the audience was dumbfounded.

After the applause and the calls for more, they said that once she can sing a set with them at the Snazzy Taz, they’ll hear more.  It wasn’t a plug, they just had not practiced anything else, but they replayed Bye Bye Blues with Menzie singing entirely different words and an entirely different tune.  It’s funny.  The first time she did that with the band, she thought she had done it wrong.

But Sophie waved her over and introduced her to a classmate, the shy little boy, Samuel Farguharson.

Menzie gasped, “Sam, what are you doing here?!”

Sam looked at the floor.  “Umm, Hi, Menzie.  My Dad won the election for judge.  He got the case for your Grandmama’s trial.  Since he was a new judge, he got an invitation for two, but my mother refused to come here since it was a whorehouse.  Since my sisters said they had nothing to wear, my Dad asked me.  Honest, I had no idea you had moved here.  Mom said for me to not let anyone know that we, umm, you know.”

Menzie nodded, “Yeah, we, umm, you know, have a baby, but Grandmama refused to let you come visit once we knew I was pregnant.”

Sophie started backing away.  “Oh boy, this is not good.”

Sam said, “I did not come here to mess up the wedding.  I did not know you were here.  Is our baby here too?”

Menzie said, “Yeah, in the nursery.  Now that Grandmama isn’t running things, do you want to see him?”  Sam nodded.  Then Menzie remembered the Lily the Pink rules.  “Oh, no, we can’t do that without an escort.  This is not a whorehouse like your Mom says, but it was one.  No one is allowed to sneak off with someone without an escort.  And here comes an escort, but you aren’t going to like it.  It’s my Mommy.”

Missy approached, “I didn’t think we had any guests that were your age, Menzie.  Who is this fine looking young man.”

Menzie was almost crying.  “Mommy, this is Samuel Farquharson.”

Missy said in a low voice, “No, no, you cannot be here.  How did you get in here?”

Sam said, “Dad is Judge Farquharson.  He had two invitations and no one else wanted to go.  I had no idea that Menzie was here.  Honest!  Mom wanted me to stay away.”

Missy hissed, “Yeah, what you did was statutory rape.  I think with your Dad being a judge, that might not go too well for him.  So, get your Dad, and you two leave.  I don’t want you near my child.”

Menzie whined, “No, Mommy, you don’t understand.  Sam did not want to do what he did.  His Mom said he wasn’t manly enough.  She forced him into this.”

Missy huffed, “I’m sure he fought back really hard when he got to sleep with a girl, and how old are you, Samuel?  Fifteen?”

Sam nodded.  He finally spoke up.  “Ma’am, I like Menzie.  My Mom told me not to, but I brought Menzie presents.  I had to use my allowance.  She is a very nice girl, and she was doing things she did not want to do.  Mom made me sleep with Menzie.  And Mom was still not satisfied that I was a manly man.  She wants me to try out for a sport.  I wasn’t good in youth league soccer, but I am too small for much of anything else.  I’ll probably just sit on the bench, but Mom insists.  She hates that I like art.  She wants me to be manly.  And Dad does not know about any of this.”

I walked up with my brother-in-law, Lt. Deviled Yeggs.  I asked, “Do we have a problem here, Missy?”

Missy sighed, “Judge Farquharson came with his son instead of his wife.  Sam here is the father of my Grandson, Sammie.”

Sam looked at Menzie, “You named him ‘Sammie’?”

Menzie nodded.

Dev cleared his throat.  “Pink?  Can you take these three to your office?  I will get Judge Farquharson and D. A. Jennings.  I will let Jochebed get Sammie and have her wait at Gwen’s entrance if visual proof is needed.”

When everyone was gathered in Pink’s office, Judge John Farquharson spoke, “I want to know the meaning of this?  Why have you brought me here?  Why is my son here?  Sam, come on, we are leaving.”

Deviled spoke up, “Your Honor, you need to hear this.  You are hearing the civil rights motions prior to the murder trial of Ruth Collins.  You will have to recuse yourself.”

Judge Farquharson spit, “A Lieutenant in the police force cannot make me do such a thing.  These motions have no merit, but they are tricky.  Someone else starting at this juncture is unacceptable.  What grounds do you have, if you really have any?”

Deviled looked him in the eyes.  “Sir, I put the murder case together, but the other charges were sent to two or three other departments.  We focused mostly on what Ruth Collins did to various members of her family.  It seems that the detective that was investigating the sexual activity, that being statutory rape of one Menzie Collins, has not gotten to the point of identifying the boys that impregnated her.  I have just learned that your son is the father of Menzie’s newborn son, Samuel.”

The judge turned red, “This is preposterous!  Samuel, we are leaving.”

D. A. Jennings cleared his throat. “Your honor, I have worked with Lt. Yeggs for years.  He would never accuse a standing judge of having a son who is suspected of statutory rape without good cause.  Might I suggest we ask a couple of questions of your son?  If he can speak freely, I will not consider any charges of rape when considering a minor, especially if he was coerced.”

Judge Farquharson told Sam, “You do not have to answer any questions that might incriminate you, Sam.”

Sam breathed in deep.  His countenance seemed to change.  He was no longer the meek, shy boy.  “No, Dad, I wish to speak.  Here is my phone, Mr. Jennings.  In photos, you will see a photo of an oil painting that I just finished.  It is a painting of Menzie.  Dad has seen it.  If he will look into her eyes, he will recognize her as the girl in the painting.  I am pretty good with oils and portrait painting.  I took some cellphone photos of Menzie.  Yes, I had sex with Menzie, and she got pregnant.  I just learned the child was a boy named Samuel.  My mother set the entire thing up.  She hates that I am not into sports and that I like art.  She had to have something that said, ‘Sam is a real man.’  So, what better thing than to produce a child.  Now, I will be trying out for soccer when I do not have any interest in playing the sport.  This is ridiculous, Dad.  I am attracted to girls, but so many of the girls are fickle.  They chase the sports stars, but when Menzie and I were together, we did a lot more talking than anything physical.  She’s a nice girl.  I would like to get to know her.  I would like to date her.”

I interrupted, “No dating until she is finished with our tutelage here at Lily the Pink.  Children Services is requiring us to have Menzie ready for ninth grade by the Fall semester.  No distractions.”

Sam asked, “Is she staying here for that?  I am a straight ‘A’ student.  I could help.”

His Dad said, “You have already done too much.  Randolph, I shall recuse myself on Tuesday since it is the weekend and Christmas is on Monday.  Sam, you and your mother will report to Lt. Yeggs on Tuesday and give a complete report.  We will try to keep this out of the press, but I doubt if I will be successful.  Your mother has gone way too far, but Menzie’s grandmother needs to pay for her crimes.  Now that I am not going to be her judge, I can say that.  I was about to have my findings printed, but now, it will be someone else.”

Jochebed came in holding Samuel.  “Mommy Tinkie, I have the child.  I will give him to his mother.”  She gave Menzie the baby and Menzie asked Sam if he wanted to hold him.

When Sam had Sammie in his arms, “Dad, do you want to meet your grandson?”

The judge looked at the little baby and started to cry.  “He is a wee little thing, but Samuel, he has your eyes.  He is so handsome.”  And then the judge broke down.

I suggested, “There are two wedding couples out there that do not need to know this for now.  Jochebed, have the biological parents of the child take the baby back to the nursery.  Can everyone pretend this did not happen when we all return to the reception?  My son and my nephew do not need this on their special day.”

Everyone agreed.  Samuel Farquharson and Menzie left with Jochebed to her apartment where she was temporarily sharing the space with Menzie to help with Sammie.  Georges soon joined them.  After they got Sammie to sleep, the teenagers returned to the reception, just in time for the garter tosses.

Another judge has taken over the Ruth Collins murder case, and the civil rights motions.  Judge Farquharson and his wife are seeking counseling, but she and Samuel have gone to the precinct to give a full statement of their role in Samuel getting Menzie pregnant.  Mrs. Farquharson has been ordered to a great deal of community service as a result, mostly dealing with teenaged pregnancies.

With Boaz being the mayor, he found out as soon as he returned from his honeymoon.  Dev said that he would tell Easter and Jemima.  The two wedding couples thanked us for the measures we took to prevent an incident that might mar the wedding.

The judge and Samuel have visited a couple of times since then, and I have a feeling that they will be regular visitors.  Samuel will have extra free time as he will not be on the soccer team, but he might try track and field, on his terms.  While they were visiting, Samuel checked Menzie’s homework and talked her through what she did not get right.  No one has made any suggestion that Menzie needs child support.  I am taking care of the expense of the care of both children.  We might just leave this out of civil court at this point.  God has a way of providing.  But the way the Farquharson’s are treating Sammie, maybe the MacLarens will have a similar response, but Menzie thinks not.  The MacLaren boy, who was eighteen and could be tried as an adult, was all business, just planting his “seed” and moving on.

And if you are wondering about the latest married couple, they have not returned from their honeymoon.  More on that next week.

Credits

Here is Bye Bye Blues played by the Swing Ninjas and sung by the Shout Sisters.  It was uploaded three years ago, and probably during the COVID lockdown, since the “sisters” are the only ones together.

I checked with my musical son, and he says that he has never heard of improvisational singing (tune and lyrics) being given a name, but it may have been done before.

In considering this statutory rape, in the United States it varies from state to state what the law is regarding sex with an underaged person.  Most consider less than thirteen-years-old to be statutory rape.  Most consider over sixteen, the teenager is able to give consent.  But some states consider when both children are between thirteen and sixteen that they are allowed to give consent toward each other only, statutory rape though if either one is sixteen or older.  I stuck with a clear statutory rape under sixteen rule for the state Tracy is in.