Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

I had an odd bunch in my office.  Kanok was playing in the renovated nursery area of the office.  Joon was sleeping after I fed him.  Yes, I am now lactating, and I fed a child breast milk for the first time in decades, and then, ever so briefly.  But the rest of the room was filled with whom I call my rogues.

There was Gwen Quinn, who pranked the married couples in the company and the family into a quest that led to the wives having a great night sleep and the men thinking they had just delivered toys around the world.  There was her husband, Millennium Yeggs, who had once been in prison, even though for his own protection.  There was Zuzka who had an eerie ability to get things done.  There was her husband, Otto Yeggs, who had once been in prison for a prank that went horribly wrong.  There was Poached and Callie Yeggs.  Poached had a reputation in high school with the ladies, and he was known for his hacking ability on the computer.  Callie taught something to Blaise and Margie and has never admitted what it was.

Now there were the employees that are not family, but they are all family.  There was Griffin Grunge who, while unemployed at Christmas had tried to kill my son, Boaz.  Thinking outside the box, I hired him, and he has been a fantastic asset, but attempted murder gets you on the Rogue list.  I had Joseph Jones there.  He was our chaplain and guidance counselor, but he thought outside the box too much to not be included.  I would have included Jochebed, but she was busy, probably babysitting but she was making witchdoctor potions and turning them into pharmaceuticals.  That is kind of roguish.

Not employees, but I had the Niblicks.  Mashie came to Tracy as an unemployed and homeless loser, who would trade doing favors for a chance to play golf.  But he was really a super spy who was trying to rid Tracy of a Latvian gun runner and smuggler.  He befriended Deviled Yeggs since he had no jurisdiction in the USA.  Pauline is Naomi’s first PhD in their field, but she was the product of a Preacher’s Kid mother and an unknown father since her mother was on drugs.  Her mother died soon after Pauline was born and her grandparents, Rev. Oz and Mary Tozer took her in, but when Pauline became a combative and rebellious preacher’s grandkid, Millenium Yeggs invited her to a mountain cabin, where he went each time he escaped the prison, and he taught her safe cracking, picking locks and escaping from anywhere.  And now she has developed this weird death grip.  Okay, it is not a grip and no one has died … yet.  And since she taught her death grip to Polly Pulice, I had to add her.

And as for the children, I have my nephew and niece, Blaise and Sophia.  I have Margie, who has got Blaise on a clock to pop the question – hopefully years from now.  And Menzie MacDougall is here.  She and Sophie and Margie have been doing way too much giggling lately.

Why are the kids rogues? Blaise used to conduct science experiments with his sister as the guinea pig.  Margie seems to know too much about everything, but then acts innocent.  And Sophie and Menzie have been nearly inseparable for the past week, except when Sophie is at school.

Cassandra was here as a courtesy.

I wanted to make it clear that this was a rogue sanctuary.

I started. “You may want to know why I brought you all together.  You have something in common.  You are either roguish or you are impish.  I want you to know that I enjoy a good joke, but it must not be illegal, immoral, or interrupt the operation at Lily the Pink.  But if you are performing this roguish behavior here, I want to know about it.”

Pauline groaned, “Not again, Pink.  When Mashie and I do things for the government, no one must know.  You basically kidnapped our daughter until I could tell you where Millie was, and at the time I did not know.  I have no idea what would have happened if Mashie had not called at that moment.  But you knowing that Hugh McAdoo was at the site of an earthquake in Chile could have put him in danger.  He was vulnerable and the more people that knew where he was, the more opportunity for a casual word getting to one of Hugh’s enemies.  He has quite a few enemies worldwide.  Oh, and thinking of roguish behavior, Gwen, Sue McAdoo loves her Christmas present.  You are amazing with getting the size just right.  You have given Hugh new reasons to spend more time at home.”

Gwen nodded, “Yes, I think she needed it after this past year when Hugh spent more time with Millie and I than with his own family.  Adding a little spice to their love-life is not a bad thing.”

Everyone snickered.  Jemima was babysitting my two and Kanok walked over.  Kanok said, “Look, look!”

I said, “Oh, this is nice coloring.  You did a good job, Kanok.”

Kanok said, “I love you, Mommy Pa-Tinkie.”  Kanok kissed my knee and ran back to Jemima.

I said, “No one heard that!”

Gwen, Cassie, and Sophie said, “Too late!”

I groaned, “All I need is another nickname!”

Then Sophie said, “And, Aunt Pink or is it Mommy Pa-Tinkie?  I cannot comment on any active police investigations, not any going to trial either.”

I groaned even more, “Oh would I ever love to know why you and Menzie are inseparable lately, and I would love a ‘codebreaker’ update.”  Sophie shook her head.

Poached said, “I can help Shorty out a little.  The ‘codebreaker’ thing is not really an active case.  Yes, we work on it.  We make phone calls, but we do not yet have a pattern.  And so far, the suspicious things that the ‘codebreaker’ social media team has generated is a suspicious death of an elderly philanthropist in Australia falling off a party boat with no witnesses, and a food poisoning death of an angel of the ballet performances at Dalhalla.  Suspicious, but both being claimed as accidental death.  No local police have picked up on it to dig out the details.  They want a pattern set before they expend manpower.  And nothing, not even a suspect, in Tracy, so not officially an active case.  We just need to keep the lid on the fact that we are working it.  It is going to be slow, I think.”

Poached continued, “And as for the other thing, let me tell a fable.  There were two friends, Yvette and Violet.  They discovered that some friends had been captured by human traffickers.  In talking with police, they heard that the hideout was to be stormed the next morning.  They were afraid of casualties, so with a small police force presence, the girls lured one bad guy out of the house.  He was captured.  Then the next stumbled out, not knowing what had happened, he was disarmed and captured. Then the police went in and subdued the remaining bad guy and freed the friends.  As a result, being in such danger, but not really, the two girls strengthened their friendship.”

Okay, I had heard the Fed’s version of the raid on the house on county line road.  They said something about some teenagers getting recognized in the future for their bravery, but the names were being withheld for now.  I suppose Sophie was doing her usual Sophie thing, but she brought Menzie along?  This was still a bit of a mystery.

Callie moaned, “Po, you got in big trouble putting Sophie in harm’s way before.  Not again!?”

Poached shook his head, “Nope, just a fable about Yvette and Violet.”  I looked over and Sophie and Menzie were looking at each other, nearly nose to nose, giggling.  Poached continued, “Besides, if I did something like that with Sophie, Uncle Deviled would have to be read into it.”

I asked, “And, Margie, what do you think of their friendship?”

Margie beamed, “As long as Soapy is at shortstop on the softball team, I am not worried at all.  We might work on Menzie’s game and have her ready for next year.  But they can be best friends forever as long as Blaise hurries up and proposes and then Soapy will be my sister.”

The crowd roared.  They had heard about how headstrong Margie was.  Now they had their proof.

Blaise grumbled, “I may be a sophomore in high school, but I’m not even a teenager yet!”

Margie waved a hand, “Technicalities.”

Pauline asked after the noise died down, “But, Pink, why all this needing to know?”

I said, “When we were under the control of Baldwyn Apple, I had to know what was going on.  The health and even the lives of the ladies working here was at stake.  Umm. Gwen, help me out here.”

Gwen casually stated, “She’s nebby.”

“Nebby?” Sophie asked.

Gwen groaned, “Little Sophie, you are just as nebby as she is.  Nebby is a Southwest Pennsylvania term from the Scots of the area for nebnose, inquisitive, snoopy, or downright nosy.”

While several people laughed, I put my head in my hands.  “And I thought my big sister had my back.”

Gwen smiled, “I do, just not your nosy nose.  We are not under Baldwyn’s clutches anymore.  We have our rules for dating that the ladies set up themselves for their own protection.  I think a little codebreaking here or funny business that does no harm there is fine, without CEO Nebby finding out.  Besides, I see her as the next target, just after this baby gets here.  And Sweet little sister of mine. Your new one is showing more than Boaz did.”

I retorted, “You and your eye that can figure out someone’s size from across the room!”

But then I asked for quiet.  “I have a proposal to make for everyone in attendance and maybe a couple who could not be here.  I would like for each of you to volunteer to be a member of a Think Tank.  We have safe crackers in the room, escape artists, lock pickers, and an invisible man.”

Zuzka yelled, “Am I sitting next to him?!”  The only empty chair in the room was next to Zuzka.

Mashie laughed, “No, she means me.  I can teach anyone how to do it, but the key to success is to be confident.  You portray a servant, and the bad guys hardly know you are there.  You go in and out without them giving you notice.  Not literally invisible, but the next best thing.”

Callie asked, “But if the bad guys do notice you, you are dead!”

Mashie smiled, “That’s where the confidence comes in.”

Joseph snickered, “Confident or crazy!”

I nodded, “And the others of you have your own special skills.  I will bow out of it, but you can organize any way you want.  What I thought the think tank could do was meet and discuss a hostage situation, a rescue situation, evacuation due to a chemical spill, something in the news that might have failed, or it might have been done better.  We might just figure out a better way to do things, like what the Feds took credit for at the County Line Road recently, but I have a feeling our local people had more to do with it than they did.  If we analyze several noteworthy events and publish a paper, we may help first responders around the world.”

There were murmurs around the room.  Gwen then asked, “What do we call this Think Tank?”

I shrugged, “I was thinking about either Rogue Scholars or Rogue’s Gallery.”

Millenium chuckled, “How about the Rogue Scholars from the Rogue’s Gallery?”

There were cheers from around the room.

As small conversations became animated, Joseph Jones came over.  “Just wanted you to know that the six couples that we paired for Missy’s wedding have all had dates since the wedding, but two couples have had a lot of time together.  Archie and Aiyana were the leftovers, no true interest in common, but the rest were already paired.  Archie visits the MacDougalls maybe twice a week, hand in hand with Aiyana.  It is clear that Missy’s sister is Archie’s sister, not really related to Missy at all by bloodline since Missy and Clair only shared the mother’s bloodline, the mother that is in jail right now.  So, that is pseudo-family which is the best Missy can have in resolving the loss of her sister.  Gordie and Angel have done a few things in the way of rugby, and they are the rugby experts in the codebreaker’s social media network.  They are together a lot, but not dating a lot.  Duncan and Diya are becoming an item, also visiting the MacDougalls, just not as much as Archie and Aiyana.  The other three all seem interested, but they are taking it slower.  It may be like what I heard Poached and Callie did, they are each other’s arm candy if invited to something for couples.  Just thought you should know that is developing into a success story.”

“Thanks, Joseph.  And how is your romance coming along?”

Joseph threw up his hands, “I work here fulltime and go to school fulltime.  Mary is little miss everything for the Storm Chasing Channel right now. ‘Bossy Boss’ fits her.  She is director, producer, film editor, whatever it takes, and she’ll graduate in another few months.  To stay with the team, she’ll start graduate school.  When do we have the time for romance?”

I chuckled, “Love finds the time.”

Credits

I cannot see anything needing a credit unless the idea of The Rogues should be a credit.  The Rogues was one of my favorite television shows and looking back through the information on the show, I cannot believe it was only on the air one year, 1964, winning the Golden Globe for best TV show.  There were thirty episodes, not like these days when 23 or 24 episodes were a full season.  But in those 30 episodes, I was totally enamored by the idea of a family of rogues going out, doing what they did best, to help people.  What ended the show was probably the fact that the stars were too popular.  Charles Boyer and David Niven were big movie stars at the time, and Gig Young was at the height of his popularity.  In fact, Larry Hagman, I Dream of Jeanie and J. R. of Dallas, filled in for Gig Young in the last two episodes.  I think the producers saw that a television show with stars that have far too many other commitments was too tough on the writers.  There were only eight episodes where they list all three men starring, but that was a stretch.  David Niven rarely was seen past the first few minutes in the episodes that he did not solely lead.  He used the typical British dry wit on the other characters and then disappeared, but oddly, I wanted to hear what he would say in those minutes.