Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

This is the follow up to the follow up to Polly and Randy visiting two weeks ago.  There were two high school seniors who were going to be valedictorian and salutatorian at Flintheart high school if only I could provide a place for them to live in separate apartments and watch over them until they graduated.  Otherwise, the boy’s parents were going to create a media firestorm to separate the two children, which might mean that neither got the top honors.  But the two seniors wanted all of this unknown by the school until graduation day.  They had their reasons, but I think their reasons were flimsy.

We brought them into the apartment building in the dead of night.  Kevin Johnson went to the Evident apartment and Joseline Cash went to the MacDougall apartment.  Georges and Jochebed already had a spare bedroom, but Menzie moved in with her children for the next few months.  We put in a few extra security cameras to make sure they stayed in their rooms.  We feared an escape.  The move happened at the beginning of the high school’s Spring Break.  And Sophie and Margie were off at a Softball tournament at the state capitol, between the top eight teams from the previous year in each division.  Margie begged the coach into inviting Menzie to be the ball girl, bat girl.  That way, Menzie could watch the play of the game and in warm-ups get a chance to practice a little.  Then as a freshman the next year, she might make the team.  With Sophie and Margie gone, Blaise worked all week in Aunt Tensie’s lab, gladly enjoying the peace and quiet.  Emmett used his spare time to play his saxophone and work on some arrangements that he wanted to try on Menzie when she returned.  And with Menzie gone for a week, or so we thought, Samuel Farquharson was not at the campus.

With the high schoolers all in other places, we had, hopefully, ten days or so before we might have to institute the Minx Protocol.  We knew it would happen, but we hoped we would get all week in before it did.

By Thursday, Joseline was loving her parttime job in the first aid station.  She worked with the nurses, and the safety coordinator for each shift took her on tours so that she might become a safety auditor.  Kevin loved every system on the campus.  He thought he might be bored in the cider house cooking operations, since that was just cooking, but the enormity of the vats and the controls to add ingredients and the computer interface was fascinating to him.  Then distillation peaked his chemistry interests.  Bottling and shipping had so much mechanical stuff, he just wanted to play with it.  Carbon recovery was a lot like distillation, but on a larger scale.  Then wastewater treatment was something similar on a smaller scale.  After a few days, he just asked Jim Kaiser to give him assignments where he might be needed because he loved it all.  Jim laughed because he took the job mostly because he loved his wife, but he also loved every system, and chemical engineers focused mostly on the system, not the nuts and bolts.  Jim, being our facility engineer, had to look at those nuts and bolts, but he wanted everything to move smoothly.  An upset in any system made all the other systems not work as efficiently as they could.  Jim Kaiser’s attitude toward his work was a blessing from Heaven.

But mid-afternoon on Thursday, the softball players returned to Lily the Pink.  Sophie helped Menzie carry her backpack to her room, and when Sophie saw Menzie’s bed moved in with the children’s beds, she asked why the change?  Menzie said the children were not sleeping well, but Sophie did not buy the lie.

At this point, Kevin and Joseline were both working at far corners of the operation.

Within thirty minutes of the arrival of the softball players, I had heard that Blaise was groaning due to the constant attention he was getting from Margie, and I heard a polite knock at my door.

I said, “Come in.”

Sophie stuck her head in the door.  “Aunt Pink, we have returned.  I hope you have had a good week so far.  It is such a dreary day, but the rain will help your garden grow.  May I come in, please?”

I snickered, “Wow!  That is such a change from you barging in making demands.  I love it.  Yes, Sophie, you may enter.  Tell me what you came here to ask, but I want to know about the tournament.”

Sophie even curtseyed.  I knew I was in trouble.  She sat in the visitor’s chair and smiled nicely, “Your hair is lovely today.  Have you had a good day?”

I smiled back at her.  “Grannie Fannie is playing with Kanok and Joon is sleeping, so I am not at a hair pulling stage yet.  And I know that is not the question you came to ask.”

Sophie sighed, “Okay, if you insist, why are Joseline Cash and Kevin Johnson working here at Lily the Pink?  Why is Kevin staying with the Evidents and Joseline with the MacDougalls?”

I picked up my cellphone and calmly selected the number for Missy MacDougall.  I gave Sophie the hand signal to let her know I would get to her question shortly.  She smiled and folded her arms in anticipation.  When Missy answered, I said, “Institute Minx Protocol.”  I think Sophie heard Missy yell, “That fast!!!”

I hung up the phone and smiled, wondering if Sophie would be satisfied with a smiling contest until all the parties arrived.

Through the door to Gwen’s house, now finished, sort of, Gwen burst into the room singing, “I’m in the money!”  She was followed by Zuzka who said, “If it wasn’t for the storm front, they would be at the state capitol for the rest of the week.  But no, they come back early, and you win!  No fair!”

I asked, “What is all this about money?”

Gwen turned red.  “Nothing, Pink.  Nothing at all.”

Zuzka turned red too.  “I have no idea what this in money means!”

I huffed, “Yes, very tall daughter, you know, and how is Gwen in the money?”

Gwen rolled her eyes.  “We had an office pool on for when we went into Minx Protocol.  I picked yesterday, but then the next person picked tomorrow.  Zuzka had the next day.  The timing was either about now until late in the evening.  I know you don’t like gambling, but it was just 50 people, one dollar per person.  I will probably take the money and buy a cake for the office staff.  So, your hubby is the one who ends up with the money.  Besides, you wouldn’t fire your company president for gambling, would you?”

I mused, “Maybe, but why yesterday?”

Gwen laughed, “I saw how everybody was picking after Spring Break.  I thought inclement weather might bring them home early.”

By this time Sophie was not smiling and she was squirming in her seat.

Greta Grunge and Joseline entered, followed by Emmett Dalton.  Blaise and Margie came in next.  Jim Kaiser and Kevin entered next.  Finally, Missy and Menzie entered.

I asked, “And what of Samuel?”

Menzie giggled, “He will be here any minute.  I called him to come over and visit as soon as I got home.  Grand Mama’s trial is in the sentencing phase.  There were only a couple of minor charges that they dropped.  So, I thought Sam coming over wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

I shrugged, “We need him now.  Tomorrow or the next day, we could call it checking homework.  By early next week, the sentence should be read.  So, keep the activity to schoolwork for a few days, okay?”

Menzie giggled.

We had already prearranged how we were going to set up the room.  In less than a minute Samuel came in and took the seat that Menzie offered him.  Sophie was slightly to my left and Kevin and Joseline were to my right, the three across the desk from me.  Everyone else was scattered behind.  Since this happened during the day and Joseline had been with Greta Grunge, it meant Jochebed was in the nursery and Georges was at work.  I would have to fill them in later.

As the side conversations died down, and people quit giving Gwen the high five, Sophie got up the nerve to ask.  “Aunt Pink, what’s a minx?”

Half the room yelled, “YOU ARE!!!”

She put her head in her hands and started to cry, “But I don’t know what a minx is!  All I did was ask a question!”

I already had my phone on the oxford language definition.  I handed it to her to read.  I said, “Read it out loud, Dear.”

Sophie choked out the words, “an impudent, cunning, or boldly flirtatious girl or young woman.”

She asked, “Flirtatious?”

I shrugged, “That’s the only word that is not a perfect match.  Impudent?  Yes.  Cunning?  In every way imaginable.  Bold?  In fifteen years, Kanok may rival you, but I have heard of no one more bold than you.”

Sophie leaned toward the edge of the chair, as if to make an escape.  “And everyone here is in on this Minx Protocol thing?  I’m the punchline in a joke that I did not know existed?”

I said, “Sit up straight in your chair.  You will be here a while.  No.  Everyone in this room knows you except for our new guests.  They want their presence here to be unknown by the school until after graduation.  With so many high schoolers here, it was inevitable that one would put two and two together.”

Kevin whispered to Joseline, “If we escape, we can elope and then no one would be able to do anything.”

I snapped, “Kevin, I talked with my lawyers this morning, and your parents have a lawyer camped at the courthouse to stop that. And if you drove to another county, that same lawyer would file an annulment.  I wonder if your parent’s college fund for you will have anything in it when you get to college.  This is ridiculous, but it is what we are facing.  We have to keep you and Joseline on an equal track so that whoever earns the valedictorian of the class did so without the other being distracted.  I want an atmosphere conducive to learning around the two of you.”

Kevin just looked at the floor, but Joseline took his hand.  “Kev, I want to stay here.  I really like the Vespers services.  I am finally thinking about a purpose in this world other than my mother’s traditions.”

I quietly was screaming “YES” in my mind, but I had to focus on our well-planned protocol.

I turned to Sophie.  “We have a breach in our security, Sophie.  Missy is tied up being the hostess for Joseline, so we need to hire a private investigator to find and plug that leak.  Does anyone in here know a good investigator?”

To Sophie’s shock, Menzie jumped up.  “I know one.”

Sophie’s eyes were begging her to say “No!”  But Sophie said nothing.  Her eyes filled with tears as she felt her Best Friend Forever (BFF) was betraying her.

Menzie said, “My reason for living here at Lily the Pink, maybe living altogether, is that a private eye was hired by my new Daddy, Angus MacDougall.  Daddy wanted to know who Mommy really was.  All Mommy would say is that she escaped a bad situation and being too young to work, she had to sell her body.  She would not say where she had escaped for fear that others would be injured.  As this detective closed in on what has just been decided as a mountain of guilty charges against my Grand Mama, the detective found out that one of the people Mommy wanted to protect had already been killed.  With everything laid out for the police, arrests were made, and I was able to reunite with my mother, who escaped without me when I was only a year old.  If my Mommy had not escaped, she would have been sold to human traffickers and the human traffickers were being called to pick up me when the house was raided.  I owe my life to that detective, Sophia Yeggs.  And I am proud to say that she is my BFF.”

I nodded, “Thank you, Menzie.”  I looked at Sophie and handed her a copy of her own basic contract for private investigations.  “Please, Sophie, you can read over your basic contract.  It is pretty much what you gave Angus.  I will give you a one hundred-dollar retainer…”

Kevin grumbled, “She is herself the leak, and she gets paid to investigate herself?”

Joseline groaned, “Kev, do not let your emotions rule the day.  I am seeing where Ms. Pink is going with this, and it is a neat idea.”

I snickered and winked at Joseline, “Thank you, my dear, and it is Mrs.  I might be a CEO, but I am not that kind of Women’s Libber.”  Then, I looked back at Sophie.  “I am glad you signed, but you may not have noticed that you are required to have a few high school friends and relations to assist in the investigation.  If you will please, give Menzie, Samuel, Blaise, Margie, and Emmett twenty dollars each for their retainer.”

Sophie said, “But that leaves me with nothing!”

I smiled, “I am aware of that.  And of course, your retainer only stays with you until you file your final invoice.  If you do not work one hundred dollars of expenses and billable hours, you will have to pay back the difference, but these five are being paid for their silence, here and at school.”

Joseline laughed, “I told you, Kev.  This was priceless.  If she is licensed, she’ll have to keep everything confidential.  We are going to be safe until graduation.  But what about my birthday?  It’s three weeks away?”

Emmett suggested, “Menzie is making her debut in about a month at the Snazzy Taz.  What she has sung before will be the encore material, but we’ve got a nice 30-40 minutes homage to Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughn.”

Joseline asked, “Who are they?”

Sophie said, “Old female jazz singers.  They were old when your grandmother was young.”

“Sophie!” I chided, “Behave yourself.  Ella and Sassy Vaughn are two of the greats of their day.  And I have heard Menzie singing the songs.  Love songs translate to any age, and with Menzie’s voice, it will be great entertainment for the birthday party.  And the Lily the Pink Bakery will bake a cake as our gift.”

Emmett added, “This will be kind of a dress rehearsal, so we may have some rough spots.”

I asked, “Joseline, inviting friends would wreck the confidentiality of being here.  I know your parents wish to come.  Do you have anyone else?”

Joseline looked around the room.  “It is sad, but most of my friends are the ones I have just met.  Mom taught me to be blunt and haughty at school.  I have been wearing these sack dresses to make everyone think I am fat.  It hurts to say this, Mrs. Pink, but I have no school friends, except Kevin.  And I hope twenty dollars buys a few more friends around the room.  Mrs. Pink, can I take my dress off?  I really want to go swimming.”

I fumbled for words, “Joseline, we do not allow nudity in public events here.”

Joseline laughed, “I have pants and a blouse on underneath.”  With that she pulled her dress over her head.  She stood there at roughly six feet tall, and a large body frame with very large breasts, otherwise everything was well-proportioned.  There were murmurs and gasps around the room.

True to Blaise’s awkward social persona, he said, “How is that humanly possible?”  A few tried to stifle a laugh but failed.  Joseline seemed to laugh it off.  Blaise and Margie might be the two who would compete for the valedictorian in just two years, and Joseline understood social awkwardness.

I said, “Blaise, it is hereditary.  She and her mother have the same body type, and she is strong, so be nice to her.  Oh, and to change the subject, who won the softball tournament?”

Margie spoke up, “The finals were rained out, but Flintheart is undefeated.  We played a couple of warm-up games with teams in other divisions, and then the tournament started.  Counting all the games played, I had two shutouts, and the other pitchers held in to win two other games.  And Minnie Others’ Tracy Central Baptist was undefeated and in the finals in her division.  They may be our toughest opponent.”  The awkward cringe moment with Blaise was now replaced by cheers for the home team.

Credits

That is the oxford language definition for “minx.”

And giving twenty dollars to each of her “associates” constitutes business expenses, thus Sophie did not have to pay Pink Lady anything for her silence.  It just looked that way at the time.  Since she was the potential “leak” in security, she should not have to do any real investigating.  The invoice would reflect the $100 received, and her friends all got $20.  And that left a net of zero due her, but she, the minx, had to keep everything confidential.