Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

This one was extra special, but I needed help.

Fannie Packer acted as the driver.  Scrammie packed a scooter in the bus so that I would not have to walk too much.  Boaz told us where to park and what gate to go through and when to be there.  The governor would be there.  Boaz would be there, along with Lt. Tagliolini, Georges Evident, and the homicide crew, meaning Lt. Yeggs, Jim Wednesday and my son Poached (stepson, but he and Otto are mine in spirit).  All police in attendance would be in dress uniforms.  All I had to do was be there to say a few words if necessary and to have enough room for two extra passengers on the return trip.

Scrambled came with me, along with Kanok and Joon.  Missy Matthews was there in full uniform.

When we got to the gate, someone escorted Scrambled, Missy, and I up the path.  That left Fannie to take care of the children.  When the path intersected a larger path, Missy was instructed to stay at that point, while Scrambled and I took a left and arrived behind a raised stand for public announcements.  There wasn’t a ramp, but Poached and Boaz helped me up the steps.  I was not handicapped, but I am a little old to be having a baby and I am due in another month.  In fact, the doctors suggested I not take this trip, but I could not miss it.

What I did not know was that the first passenger to Lily the Pink would arrive before the other did.  That is why Missy had been instructed to stay at the fork in the path.

Missy was surprised to see a guard rolling two huge spinner suitcases while escorting a female parolee out of the prison and down the path from the prison gate to where Missy stood.

The guard said, “I was to take her this far.  She’s yours.”

The parolee protested, “But I was supposed to meet Pink Lady here.  I do not know this woman.  What is going on?”

Missy said, “I am Missy MacDougall, security chief for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  They left me here so that I could take you to the bus.  We’ll wait there until Mommie Pinkie calls for us to drive to where she is. Come this way.”

The parolee said, “No!  Pink Lady was supposed to greet me and drive me by car.  No bus.  And that path is either back into the prison or a dead end.  All parolees go straight.  They don’t turn here.  I do not want to do something wrong and end up back in this prison.”

The guard said, “I was supposed to do a handoff.  There is another prisoner that is ready to come out, but only one at a time.  Miss, if you want your freedom, you better go with this woman.”

The parolee said, “No! Something is wrong!”

Missy pointed to the growing crowd.  “See that crowd where you want to go.  That is the governor, the mayor of Tracy, and Mommie Pinkie.  There are a bunch of police from the governor’s office and from Tracy.  And media is crawling all over them.  You do not want to go there.”

The guard huffed, “I’m calling my supervisor.”  After a few seconds on the phone, the guard turned red.  “My supervisor said that I should have let Mrs. Hannah Bandanna know of the change in procedures.  I didn’t know myself, but I apologize.”

That was enough for the parolee.  Missy took the two spinners from the guard and asked Hannah, “What is in these things?”

Hannah said, “I am a hairdresser.  I told the warden that I could not do my trade unless I had my tools.  I hope that Pink Lady has some salon stools for me.”

Missy nodded, “The company president, Gwen Quinn, has bought two Mississippi Shampoo chairs, and she got three different salon stools.  Whichever you prefer, she’ll send the others back and get as many as you need.  And she got four hair dryer chairs.  We got a lot of tools.  We did not expect you to bring your own stuff.”

Hannah laughed, “Every penny I made on the inside, I put into my tools, and I feel comfortable with what I have been using.”

By then, they reached the bus.  Hannah noticed the painting on the outside of the bus.  “I feel more comfortable now.  That is definitely the Pink Lady I know.”

Missy snickered, “It should be.  The artist painted that picture of her right after she left here eight months ago.  Now, Mommie Pinkie is eight-months pregnant.”

Hannah gasped, “Nobody told me!”

Missy said, “They probably did not tell you who the next person to be released was either.  That’s why the big press conference.  Ashmead Kernel Apple has been granted a pardon.”

Hannah’s eyes widened.  “I would never have suspected that!”

Missy shrugged, “It took a lot of letter writing and proof that he has really reformed.  I’m sure the governor will take credit, but the credit is due to Big Red Macintosh and Pink Lady, you too since you took over.”

Hannah shrugged, “I just kept doing what Pink Lady started.”

While Hannah, Missy, and Fannie kept the two children busy, we finally saw the prison gate open a second time.  The governor started his speech as my Daddy approached.  As Missy had surmised, according to the governor, the reform of Ashmead Kernel Apple was due to the good work done by the prison staff and the governor’s stance on law and order.

By this time, Daddy had been guided to a chair next to mine, but instead, he went to his knees.  He hugged me, and he wept.  The warden had walked with my Daddy to the press conference.  He went to the mike and echoed the same thing the governor had said.

It was then the turn for Boaz to speak.  “My grandfather is being released from prison today by pardon from the governor.  I thank the governor for allowing this to happen, for my grandfather has truly been reformed.  And I echo the words of the governor that my grandfather killed a lot of people.  All of them were criminals, yet it was a miscarriage of justice to take justice into his own hands.  It saved the taxpayers of this state millions of dollars if those criminals had been caught and brought to justice, but it was still against the law.  My grandfather knows what he did was wrong, but not just because of the reform efforts of this prison.  I thank Big Red Macintosh Apple.  He started a prison ministry here, and with my mother’s suggestion to her father, Ashmead Apple attended those sessions.  He accepted Jesus into his heart and his life changed.  Ashmead became a new creation, one that hates the sin in his own life and loves God and all that God stands for.  And as that new creation, he has given evidence that has led to the shutdown of another means of drugs entering the big city of Tracy, and for you outside Tracy, those drugs are then spread throughout the state.  So, that means of drug traffic has been stopped.  My mom is here.  I thought she might want to say a few words.  After all, until she visited the prison some months ago, she had not seen her father since she was thirteen years old.  To her, he is still Daddy.  Thank you, again, governor, for giving PawPaw back to my mother.”

They wanted to remove the microphone from the stand and hand it to me.  I waved them off.  “Please, no.  I can stand.  I am pregnant, not a paraplegic.  I want to thank everyone involved in the pardon of my father.  He has worked hard in cooperating with the authorities, and those efforts have paid off.  If I felt my father would be a menace to those around me, I would never have wished for his release, but forgiveness is important.  It cuts in both directions.  And repentance is possible, but only through the power that Jesus gives from within.  My prayers of the past several months have been answered.  My Daddy will be by my side when my baby is born.  Thank you all for coming.”  I sat down next to my Daddy.  He reached out his hand to hold mine.  Scrambled, my Scrammie, stood behind me and gently massaged my shoulders.  The press pressured Boaz as to where my Daddy would live.  All Boaz said in reply was that with a pardon, he could live anywhere that he chose to live.  He was not a sex offender.  He did not have to register.

As the governor, warden, and mayor Boaz evaded all other questions, the press conference was over.  As the camera crews were packing up, Poached and Boaz helped me off the platform and back into my scooter.  I led the way to the fork in the path and then on to the bus.

As we approached the bus, my Daddy stopped.  “What is that painted on the side of the bus?”

I smiled, “Daddy, our latest flavor of apple cider was released right after I was released from my protective custody, when I had my chance to see you.  The artwork was from my new look at the time, before the baby bump.  I thought you and Hannah wanted to ride to Tracy in our Freedom bus, named after Lily the Pink Freedom Cider.  And it is our hottest seller, although a lot of people still love the original.  As always, our flavors are made by Gwen Quinn and me, cooking and sipping until we get it right.”

Daddy chuckled, “I have to meet this Gwen Quinn.  Your letters here of late talk of her like she is a super woman of some kind.”

I laughed, “Not a super woman, but you are about to meet two people that owe their lives to her.”

At that moment, the side door of the bus opened, and the hydraulic lift gate came down so that I could ride up into the bus, but riding down was Grannie Fannie, holding Joon in one arm and holding Kanok’s hand in the other.

Fannie said, “I suppose the tall one here is Ashmead.  Here is your adopted grandson, Joon.  His mother was an undercover operative in Seoul, South Korea, and with her cover blown, she was killed.  Thus, Gwen rescued him and brought him here.  And this little girl is Kanok.  Her parents ran a hotel on an island off the coast of Rayong, Thailand.  A typhoon washed them out to sea while Kanok was visiting her grandmother, and now she is here, your adopted granddaughter, courtesy of Gwen.”

Kanok yelled, “PawPaw!”

I chuckled, “Daddy, I hope you don’t mind PawPaw.  Of the various names that are not presently being used, it was the one Kanok could say.”

Kanok climbed into my lap.  She said, “I want to ride!”  And ride we did, I drove the scooter onto the lift and, after Fannie handed Joon to my Daddy, she operated the controls that raised the scooter to the bus floor level.  Kanok jumped off the scooter and ran back to Hannah.  With us all in the bus and the scooter locked down, Fannie walked around to the driver’s seat.  Scrammie sat in the back with Hannah on the other side and Joon in the car seat between them.  Missy sat with Kanok. And I got to sit next to my Daddy.

After we got far enough away from the prison to see no signs of it, other than a road sign in the rearview mirror, my Daddy asked, “What was that all about me living wherever I want to live?”

I smiled, “Daddy, you are the big news story today, across the state.  A friend of mine, who is retired from an organization located just outside Washington, DC, said that he would set up something, pull in some favors and call it a training exercise.”

Daddy groaned, “Please tell me it is military.  Do we have spooks in Tracy?”

Missy stifled a snicker.  I waved a hand, “Oh, no, Daddy, there are no spooks in Tracy.  Ask them!  They will deny it.”  Missy couldn’t contain the snicker any longer.  “Missy!  We seriously have no spooks in Tracy!”

Missy, now belly laughing, “Yes, Ma’am, seriously.  No spooks at all!”

Kanok echoed, “Mommie Pinkie, no spookeses!”

I nodded, “See there, you heard it from Kanok, and she ought to know.  Otherwise, how could she go from orphan in Thailand to being adopted by me in less than 24 hours.  See, no spooks in Tracy at all!  But as for the training exercise.  You will leave the bus by yourself.  You will go up to a man in a royal blue coat.  His name is Mashie Niblick.  He is about your size, maybe shorter by a half inch.  He will guide you into the first of two helicopters.  You will take his blue coat and step out the other side of that helicopter.  Another person will guide you onto the second helicopter.  You will take off the blue coat and put on pink coveralls, the uniform of most Lily the Pink employees.  They will constantly be entering and exiting the two helicopters, pretending to resupply the crews.  Then you will walk back into shipping and receiving with the employees.  The ladies will guide you to Anahera, otherwise known as Angel, our Maori Warrior, the Fierce Terror of Lily the Pink Shipping and Receiving.  Really, she is sweet, but she never shows that side to the truckers.  I think she has made a few of those big burly guys cry, but people aren’t talking.  If she gives you the white eyes and the tongue sticking out, followed by saying a few things you won’t understand while snorting through her nose and slapping her arms and thighs, she is giving you a great honor, but it looks scary.”

Missy laughed, “She taught the wedding party, and they did a haka at Angus’ and my wedding to bless it.  She is okay, better than okay.”

I continued, “Angel will guide you through shipping and receiving, past bottling, past the cider vats, and down a hallway and into the conference room, that also is the lunchroom of the cider house and one of two spots for an all-employee meeting.  If I told you the other spot, you would not believe me.”

Daddy chuckled, “I would believe anything you tell me.  I have faith in you to accomplish anything your heart desires.”

I nodded, “Okay, the main all-employee meeting place is in the grandstands, next to the water polo and swimming pool and inside a jungle beneath a glass roof that is called the ‘Crystal Mountain.’  Ummm.  Daddy?  Ummmm.  You said you would believe anything.”

Daddy nodded, “Yes, Sweetie, I know that I said that, but I think I am going to have to see that one, just to wrap my head around it.”

Scrambled and Kanok laughed.  I think Hannah was equally confused.  And Kanok was a bit of a Daddy’s girl that if Scrammie laughed, she laughed.

I said, “We will give you a tour.  I have left Zuzka alone all day today.  Knowing her, she has added something.  While I was at the prison those two weeks, she built a prefab house to raise chickens on one side and turkeys on the other.  I never knew it required a different building design, but she did.  I was waking up to a rooster crowing for two weeks after I got back, thinking I had gone crazy, but no, it was a real rooster.”

Daddy asked, “Who or What or Why is Zuzka?”

I thought for a second, “The why? Human trafficking, kidnapped in Latvia, over six and a half feet tall, thus Baldwyn’s tall girl experience at the brothel.  The What? She went to college to learn hydroponics and greenhouse design.  That’s where the Crystal Mountain came in.  She had designed the Crystal Mountain in her spare time, just dreaming, and then she turned it into a reality upon our emancipation from Baldwyn.  Are you glad you did not kill him?”

Daddy said, “When I saw him last, I told him that I forgave him for what he did to you and all those girls, but my offer of forgiveness did not seem real until I actually took his hand to say good-bye.  They transferred him to a maximum security federal facility.  But how did you give Zuzka the reigns of adding things to the property?”

I gasped, “That’s the who!  Zuzka taught Rotten Yeggs how to not be rotten.  They got married and now she is my daughter, through marriage to my stepson, now named Otto, but I don’t worry about the term ‘step’ that much.  Zuzka gave up her office so that you could have a bedroom.  She has now built a small greenhouse in the corner of the greenhouse.  That way, she can see a lot of what she has made as she designs the next things.  She is now working on the PLAYhouse and PLAYground, southeast of town.”

Daddy said, “Well, you suddenly have a lot of children.”

I snickered, “No, Daddy, the PLAYhouse and PLAYground are parts of the expansion of T.R.U.S.T.  The PLAYhouse will house the athletic department offices and Naomi’s therapy rooms and classrooms.  Then the PLAYground will be the indoor and outdoor practice facilities for the college teams, plus intramural fields and even community athletic fields.”

Daddy said, “But with the names of playground and playhouse, what else could it be?”

I groaned, “Daddy, I donated a few million dollars.  I insisted on not having my name on anything, but I did not say anything about my initials.”

Daddy said, “What?!”

I asked, “What are my initials?”

Daddy said, “P.L.A.”

I said, “Daddy, I’m married now.”

Daddy said, “You’ve been calling me ‘Daddy.’  I have been thinking of you as a thirteen-year-old girl.”

I growled, “Add a “Y” Daddy!”

Daddy’s eye opened.  “Oh, wow!  Your initials spell play.”

I nodded, “But I only told you half of the things to keep the media away.”

Daddy laughed, “Okay, then finish it.”

I continued, “When we left off, the first helicopter, with Mashie Niblick on board will have already taken off.  His royal blue coat will be in the second helicopter and you will be safely inside.  Two black SUVs will pull up and someone will get out of the remaining helicopter, wearing the blue jacket.  The employees in pink overalls will be swarming both vehicles, washing the vehicles.  Various people will get in and out of each vehicle, two people wearing roughly what you have on now.  With one of them in each vehicle and the blue jacket in one of them, one vehicle will drive straight east until they get to spook headquarters outside Washington, DC.  That vehicle is old and needs to be replaced.  In a month, another vehicle will arrive in Tracy at the mysterious hangar at the airport.”  Daddy made a face.  “Okay, Daddy, you can have a mysterious hangar at the airport and still not have any spooks!”

Kanok laughed, “No Spookeses, PawPaw!”

Daddy said, “Wow!  She surely can pop her “P” sound.”

I shook my head, “And the last SUV goes west, even going off road in the mountains.  It ends up at a dealership in the middle of nowhere.  It gets a full service, then back to the mysterious hangar at the airport.”

As we approached the Lily the Pink campus, Daddy said, “I do not recognize anything, Pinkie. What have you done?”

I laughed, “The hallways that connect the Big House with the apartment and the warehouse were done by Uncle Dellie, but Zuzka did the rest.”  As we pulled into the truck parking lot, now with helicopters and black SUVs at the ready, we were at the bottom of the hill.  From there, the top of the Crystal Mountain towered over us by nine or ten stories.  Odd, we’ve never measured it.  Daddy got a good look at the distillation system and the carbon recovery system.  And we’d already driven past the bakery.

Daddy said, “Zuzka is one busy little girl.”

I retorted, “Daddy, she is a half head taller than you and we call them ‘ladies’ here.  Be sure to get that right.  Right, Fannie?”

Fannie said as she was parking the bus, “I respectfully reply to Daddy’s little girl, that you are correct.  None of us want to be called a ‘girl.’ “

I groaned, “Okay, I will call my father, PawPaw, from now on!”

Kanok screamed, “Yay!  PawPaw!”

Credits

I was in Washington, DC one Sunday morning when George W. Bush was president.  There was a foot thick layer of snow that had fallen the day before when I took a group from India there.  Of course, all my customer personnel were wearing light jackets, and freezing, but the museums were not open yet.  When it was time for the president to go to church, Marine 1 lifted off from the south lawn and two huge SUVs left from the North entrance, near where I was and went in two different directions.  Maybe “W” was on his way to church, or he may have never left the White House.  I patterned the confusing departures from Lily the Pink shipping and receiving after what I “think” I saw.