Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

• Proverbs 16:28

For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

• 2 Corinthians 12:20

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

• Luke 16:13

“Someone told someone and someone told you
But they wouldn’t hurt you, not much,
Since every one spreads the story
With his own little personal touch.

Do nothing till you hear from me
Pay no attention to what’s said
Why people tear the seam of anyone’s dream
Is over my head.

Do nothing till you hear from me
At least consider our romance
If you should take the word of others you’ve heard
I haven’t a chance

True I’ve been seen with someone new
But does that mean that I’m untrue?
When we’re a part the words in my heart
Reveal how I feel about you.

Some kiss may cloud my memory
And other arms may hold a thrill
But please do nothing till you hear from me
And you never will.”

• Bob Russell (tune by Duke Ellington), Do Nothing Till You Hear from Me

This is really a follow-up from this morning’s Philosophy post.  Rev. Finney argued that God in your heart and sinning were incompatible, to rephrase it a bit.  Jesus said that we cannot serve two masters.  Jesus mentions God and money, but the negative could be anything of this world that keeps us from God, romance being one.

When we sin, we have taken our eyes off Jesus, maybe only for a moment, and we take charge with disastrous results. If we are saved, we do not lose salvation, but we could lose fellowship with God (until we correct that problem) and, as a result of losing that fellowship, lose the Joy and Peace, in this world, that helps us through the day.

There are two themes, at least two, in the song lyrics: Gossip and Cheating.  Since Ella Fitzgerald sings the song below, I will use a female gender for the singer, but I have heard recordings of this song by Joe Williams, Nat King Cole, Steve Tyrell, and Paul Anka.  It works either way, but for simplicity, “she” will be the singer who had a gossiper see her hug and kiss someone new when her man was away.

I vaguely remember another song.  I think it was a Joe Williams hit, but it was about how the female of the relationship heard about the male dancing with another woman, but the whole time, the man was talking about his true love – no way that became a love interest if that was the conversation topic.  But at the moment, my mind is drawing a blank.  Maybe someone reading this can remember the other similarly themed song of the same era.

Gossip usually involves an embellishment of what one eyewitness saw, that may not be what they thought they saw.  Did “she” go to a club, do a little drinking, do a little dancing, and then the guy hugged and kissed her afterwards?  Not even romantically?  Maybe a thank you for being a wonderful dance partner?

Or did “she” feel sorry for herself, all alone with her male partner, boyfriend or husband, off on business?  She wanted some fun and it got to the kissing and hugging part before she realized this had gone too far.  Could that be it?

But there is another scenario that would avoid the gossip, and the appearance of the start of cheating.  “She” could have stayed home.

This morning, I made the analogy of the fight between good and bad as wrestling like two boys in the back seat, knowing that the driver was out of range to swat them – thus they wrestle on.  “She” is bored, but going out is only the first line that “she” crosses.  “She” meets a guy.  He’s attractive.  He does something to get them close to each other.  That is never mentioned in the song.  Was it offering her a drink?  A meal?  Dancing?  Saying yes was the second line, the second wrestling match in the back seat.  By this time, “she” should have unbuckled her seat belt, turned around and duct taped the boys to their respective captain’s chairs…

Editor’s Note:  The author never did that but he was tempted (his own wrestling match) at least a hundred times, probably much more.

Okay, you get the picture.  Saying that she was “already taken” might have, at that point, avoided the kiss and hug.  Note: Kiss and “in the arms” are mentioned in the lyrics.

One time, in Germany, I was on maneuvers.  I do not know if this was a planned military maneuver that she knew about ahead of time or one where I was called away, and due to me being the only one with NATO clearance (Cosmic is equal to the USA Top Secret, but even with a Top Secret clearance, you were not allowed to know without Cosmic)…  Anyway, everyone that my wife called to find out whether I was alive or dead said, “We have no idea, ma’am.  What he is doing has to be declassified or he will come home soon.” And note: I did nothing terribly dangerous, and probably everything has been declassified since that was 45 years ago or more. The situation has completely changed since then. But still, you did not hear it from me. And to borrow the last line of the song – “And you never will.”

On one of those occasions, she got a babysitter and went out with a female friend, another married woman.  What could be more safe than that?

Whatever club they ended up in, her friend, the married woman, started flirting with the guys.  She got a couple of guys to come to their table.  My wife said in clear language that she was married and that if they took one step in the wrong direction, she was leaving.  It got uncomfortable.  The friend got some phone numbers, but when I eventually returned, my wife told me everything, and how she would never do that again.  And over the 40+ years after that, she stayed at home when I was out on business, unless there was a Bible study to go to.  And then, there and back with no side trips.

You can avoid the gossip by avoiding the situation that can be misinterpreted.

Here is Ella Fitzgerald singing the Duke Ellington song, Do Nothing Till You Hear from Me.  The performance is from the Ed Sullivan Show.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.