I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises. If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.
This wedding event was a testament to God at work, but I had nothing to do with it. Sure, it was the Holy Spirit at work, but the one doing the talking and the upright living was someone most people call Stinker these days.
It all started with what seemed like innocent girl talk, but what Jemima was doing was finding out what that little girl inside her professor wanted in life. Jemima’s professor, Dr. Elvira Quinn, had slept her way into a job as a weather girl with only a couple of semesters of meteorology under her belt.
Elvira Quinn then made love to the camera, as much as the regulations would allow, and the dirty old men, and young ones, wanted more of Elvira Quinn. Then she slept her way to being the best salesperson, getting great sponsors for the network, one of which sponsored the late-night movie, only if Elvira Quinn was the hostess. Then one day, undergraduate degree and master’s in meteorology in hand, she decided she was a caricature of what she wanted to do. She quit, moved to Tracy, and got her doctorate. She became the storm chasing specialist. She still slept around, but for her own pleasure.
Then she met Easter Yeggs and his betrothed, Jemima. Jemima showed love and understanding, while Dr. Quinn could not figure out what made Jemima and Easter tick. In the girl talk, Dr. Quinn realized that her lifestyle was getting her nowhere. She wanted what Jemima had in her heart. It took some time, but Dr. Quinn accepted Jesus. When she looked back at those girl talks, she named Jemima Stinker, for having “tricked” her into thinking the girl talk was innocent. All that was tongue-in-cheek in that Elvira Quinn loved her new life and saw what she had been doing did not satisfy her at all.
In cutting off illicit romances, one of them was with Dr. Ben Casey, who only slept with her on the road, away from prying eyes in Tracy. She asked why and he said his mother did not approve of her lifestyle, but now her lifestyle had changed. Ben Casey’s mother fell in love with Elvira Quinn, an acceptable wife for her son.
About that time, one of the other storm chasing teammates met Jemima and accepted Jesus, Mary Sheltie, aka Bossy Boss, B.B. for short. Again, she saw Jemima and Easter as this couple with no problems where her life was empty and plenty of problems.
B.B. was a senior when she joined the team. She had a double major, wanting to not just be a weather girl, but manage a news team, run every aspect of the news. With Dr. Kildare seeing the team meld into something special: Easy (the driver), Stinker (the photographer), B.B. (videographer, network producer, director, bottle washer), and Home Wrecker (professor, radar oversight, assigner of tasks). And the code names, that started with just one code name, Stinker, added a whimsical touch that would draw in viewers. Dr. Kildare sold the university on creating a Storm Chasing Channel. They had their producer and director and film editor, all in B.B.
When I had a chance to use the family card to get Jemima and Easter an apartment at Lily the Pink, I jumped at the chance. They are married. They need a place of their own. Easter drives the Turtle, but they have no family car. They are taking Lily the Pink buses back and forth to school.
But then, Joseline and Kevin spend a lot of time with Jemima and Easter. After all, Joseline is also expecting. Seeing those two teenagers, who had never been exposed to God or the Bible, become so eager to learn as much as they can has been heartwarming. And to think, I thought I was crazy for going along with the idea of Polly Pulice, police officer.
And without any suggestion, Jemima has started a Bible study in their apartment for the younger neighbors. Joseline and Kevin attend, along with TomCat and Joseph and B.B. Easter has invited his younger siblings and their friends, but those not living at Lily the Pink are sporadic. That means Emmett Dalton and Menzie MacDougall attend most of the time. They have invited the Williams, who have attended a couple of times. With a seminary student in the study, who is a few credits from graduation, Joseph lets Jemima and Easter take the lead. It is mostly Jemima. Easter is quiet, until he has something important to say. I have often thought that if it had not been for the lockdown, the vivacious Jemima would have had the sports stars at the school hanging all over her, but the Jemima and Easter romance budded over the internet, before the other guys knew she was the new girl in town. Otherwise, I do not know if Easter would have had the nerve to ask her out on a date.
But as this double wedding approaches, I am touched by how others are reacting. Joseline had no friends at all a few short months ago, not even a boyfriend. Now she is a pregnant woman invited to be a bride’s maid at two weddings. Her emotions are all over the charts. Everyone at Lily the Pink greets her by name, and she is working hard to learn everyone’s name.
Kevin is having so much fun at work, it doesn’t even seem like work to him, but I still pay him. I think after they have started school, have tons of homework, the baby arrives and cries all night, and then something breaks down at two in the morning, and Jim Kaiser is not around… Yep, at some point like that, it will feel like a job.
I did not want to pop the newlyweds’ bubble, that is Joseline and Kevin, but they were only added to the wedding party due to their contributions to the Turtle Team during their honeymoon trip to New Orleans. I think with codenames at the ready, they may be encouraged to go on other expeditions, but I am just an aunt.
The wedding parties readily accepted the added help in ushering with TomCat helping. They were worried about timing to get the “I Do” at just the right moment. And with Michael as the only usher, getting all the mothers to the appropriate seats would take a lot of time. He’s almost thirteen, but he is small for his age. Dr. Quinn’s mother had met an untimely death (father unknown) and the only parent Ben Casey had remaining was his mother, but she said she had a cousin who would be coming to town for the wedding, a retired general of some sort. The Shelties would both be there, and Joseph said his parents would be there for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. He hoped to have an old boss, of sorts, show up for the wedding.
Well, the wedding day was upon us. Dr. Ben Casey’s mother arrived, escorted by a four-star general which got a few gasps from people who recognized him. But the biggest stir was when a worldwide known evangelist showed up. He said he was a friend of one of the grooms, but when he met Joseph’s parents, he visited with them, walking down the aisle next to Cat and Joseph’s father. When there was a father, Cat escorted him. Otherwise, she had worked with Missy to ensure everyone had their invitation, although all employees were invited. The catwalks overhead were lined with employees who could not be seated.
Mary Sheltie wore an absolutely stunning wedding dress. It was so white, it almost glowed.
But then, Dr. Quinn wore something that some might consider awful. It was a white wedding dress, but it was stained pink and red over most of the dress. She showed her assets, if you call them that, because the dress was form fitting. If it had been all white, people would have focused on the fact that if she sneezed, we would see a lot more than we bargained for.
But Dr. Elvira Quinn, otherwise known as Home Wrecker, had a statement written into the bulletin that was handed out to everyone. It read as follows:
I am Elvira Quinn, PhD meteorologist. I am known in the Turtle Team as Home Wrecker. But the home that I wrecked more than any other was my own. I did not wait for marriage. I slept around, gaining employment and promotions along the way in the state capitol. At my peak in popularity, I was the host of the late-night movie, the Seductress of the Night. I got to the top, or a top, but I was empty inside. I did not know that I needed Jesus until much later. In one episode of the late-night movie, my last as it happened, my costume was a wedding dress. The movie was The Blood Thirsty Bride, one of the worst movies we had ever shown on the program. The filming was live, and the wedding dress was barely covering everything. As we got to the final spot for me to introduce the movie ending, two stagehands came from behind me and dumped buckets of red dye all over my face and the wedding dress. The force of the splash forced the top of the dress to fold down. The resulting wardrobe malfunction was hard to notice in the mayhem, in that everything was dyed red. I think I said something along the lines of what Sally Kellerman said in the M*A*S*H movie, that they were all animals. I ran to my dressing room to change, and I left the station, not giving them two-weeks’ notice, taking the ruined wedding dress with me. I was finished. I moved here and it took a lot of pleading to get Dr. Kildare to accept me as a graduate assistant. I had made such a mockery of television meteorology. During the interview with Dr. Kildare, I still had red stains on my face, arms, and hands. I think he knew why, but he was polite enough to not ask. I got my PhD, and I specialized in storm chasing. Still, I was living a lascivious lifestyle and I still felt empty until Jemima became a member of the storm chasing team, the little Stinker. She led me to Jesus Christ. I left my old lifestyle behind. I was no longer empty. I convinced Ben Casey that I was a new woman, and he proposed. But what should I wear for a wedding dress? I still had the ruined wedding dress, and I could still wear it, although a little tight in a few places. But it was ruined. Yet, what had been my life to this point? I was once chaste. I was once a virgin. Then, I sinned, but although my sins were like scarlet, Jesus had washed them as white as snow (Isa. 1:18, sort of). So, I wear my costume wedding dress, as a testament to the Grace and Mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. You can stare in horror at the red and pink stains, or you can marvel at a sinner, saved by Grace.
All I can say is that Elvira Quinn is courageous. Her confession was copied and put on all the bulletin boards around Lily the Pink with a little note: “Pink Lady and Home Wrecker are our heroes.” And one or another of those notices have been signed by everyone who used to be prostitutes here. I could sympathize with them, but Home Wrecker, in her way, had been there.
Rev C.S.L. said that he had worked harder for this wedding than for any other. The “I Do” was to be done by all four people getting married at the same time, at 3:50pm Central time. At that moment on June 20th, it would be the Summer Solstice. If the earth did not continue its trip around the sun, the days would be at their longest at that point. This was not anything related to pagan worship. Three of the four were meteorologists, and it just seemed the memorable thing to do.
Well, he timed everything perfectly. It was kind of strange, when you usually see things in a particular order, but it was lovely.
The reception was lovely. The dances were wonderful, with Angus MacDougall and Emmett combining jazz band members from the Snazzy Taz and the university. Menzie sang, as she had at the wedding. And Lilith came home for a wedding of her own and stayed around for our quintet to sing a song or two, the Purple Four, plus Menzie. Menzie was about to enter her freshman year at high school and a vocal professor at T.R.U.S.T. was volunteering to give Menzie voice lessons.
The usual speeches were made by Easter and Jemima, but then the evangelist was asked to say a few words. He talked about how he always knew that Joseph was someone special. He would always be family. He had hoped to keep him as a chaplain with their disaster relief organization. They always had need for that, but in seeing this beautiful place, with all these beautiful people, he now has a home here. But he reassured him that if things change, he can always get his old job back or maybe move him up the ladder a bit.
I joked with the evangelist later that his attempt at luring Joseph back was not going to work. We both laughed, but he did not deny that was his intent.
Many people murmured around the room about whether Dr. Quinn and Mary Sheltie would take their husband’s last names. When they heard the mumbling, they announced to the crowd together. “Why not? Those who watch the Storm Chasing Channel, or their show in syndication or streaming, the world knows us as Home Wrecker and B.B. We are in this thing until death do us part.”
When the reception was over, Amy G. Dala and I had arranged for the couples to fly to Houston, Texas. They were taken by limo to a nice hotel nearby that had two honeymoon suites. And because the Turtle could now seat seven, Easter and Jemima drove the Turtle the next day to Houston, with Michael Rowe joining the team. Michael could have sat anywhere, but he chose his new mother’s command chair so he could look at the weather maps. A storm was brewing in the Caribbean. They had to track where it might land and be prepared for anything. The cone of uncertainty mostly showed Texas. Michael was not quite thirteen, but he had taken an interest in what Home Wrecker was doing. Besides, he was wondering where he might be on his birthday.
Credits
General George W. Casey Jr. became the head of the joint chiefs of staff in 2007, when President George W. Bush was president and he remained in that position for four years, after President Obama had taken office. But note, I simply said a cousin of a woman named Casey and named Casey by marriage. The similarity was purely accidental.
The Summer Solstice was 20 June 2024 at 3:50 Central Daylight Savings Time. It took a while to get the report written.
Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley 
Leave a comment