In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. The man’s name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to Moab and lived there.
Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.
- Ruth 1:1-5
But Samuel was ministering before the Lord—a boy wearing a linen ephod. Each year his mother made him a little robe and took it to him when she went up with her husband to offer the annual sacrifice. Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, “May the Lord give you children by this woman to take the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the Lord.” Then they would go home. And the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord.
- 1 Samuel 2:18-21
Boilerplate
I’m Harold Dykstra. I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story. My time is well spent. A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel. I did not know she was an angel at the time. The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone. And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy. She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others. She changed my life. Since she was a doll that had come to life, we came up with the term ‘other living.’ She was not a human, an animal, or even a plant, but she was definitely living, and very vibrant. Oh, excuse me, angels have no gender, but the angel indwelled a doll named Bountiful Babs. After seeing the angel in that form for over a year, I cannot see her in my mind in any other form.
This Week’s Question
In the last episode, Babs visited Gladys in the hospital.
But this week, Babs invited Morrie and Willie over with their spouses. I was slow cooking some barbecue ribs. And as usual, I was tinkering with the fire and adding more spices, much more attention than the ribs deserved.
Babs entertained the family. She talked about all the people we had met on our last sales trip. She had called the hotel where a little boy, Johnny, had stolen bananas from the breakfast area. Johnny was still cleaning the tables during the breakfast period, even though his “punishment” was long since paid off. And Johnny’s mother had gotten the job. She doubled as night auditor and laundry person to make her employment fulltime. Babs talked about walking across the Mississippi River, seeing the Badlands, and shopping at the Mall of America. She gave them their presents. She updated them on Gladys, even though they hardly knew Gladys, Willie’s husband being a pastor for a different church and Morrie having just returned to the church.
But when I was out tinkering, Willie said, “I feel ashamed to say this, but our Dad stole the last years of my mother’s life from us. She was sick. She had no business in going with Dad. It had to be hard on her. We had room. She could have stayed with us, and I would have given her more attention than Dad could. He was focused on selling stuff for the company.”
Babs took her hand. “Your father loved your mother a great deal. His focus on sales suffered during that time. He met the needs of his customers, but he was not focused on what the customers were not paying attention to. He missed a lot of those chances. I was thinking of your mother. He thinks that I am the blessing in his life. This past year was the best year he ever had. He thinks it is because I am with him, but even with his grief, his focus is more on the customers. I think when he quits being a salesman, he might go into a greater grief period than he did when she died. Please pray for him. When he loses his sales position, I cannot be here. I am his travel buddy, and that is all.”
Morrie asked, “So, you do not sleep with him?”
Babs did not get angry, but she spoke firmly. “No, Morrie. He has always gotten a two-bed hotel room and I sleep in the other bed. We hug and kiss, but that is just to comfort one another. And occasionally when he makes a big sale, he will give me a big hug. We have been dancing a few times. Your father and I are two very good friends. That is the extent of our relationship. But I continue to pray that you stay on the straight and narrow path.”
Morrie reddened, but he nodded, and he reached over to hold his wife’s hand.
Babs continued, “And as for staying here, I have moved into Willie’s old room. It is quite comfortable, more than my needs. But, Willie, why do you think your father should have had your mother move in with you?”
Willie said, “Maybe I am being selfish, but I could have taken her to doctor appointments. We could have talked and done crafts together. She just rode in the car with Dad.”
Babs said, “But when a man and woman get married, they become one flesh. When you are young, you think of that one flesh as being having sex. You get very romantic and very naked, and you do things. But when you get a little older, you find yourself finishing each other’s sentences.”
Morrie laughed, “And my wife and I finish each other’s sentences with words that were far from what the subject was.”
Babs smiled, “When you get back to being those two people becoming one rather than where you were in the relationship, your minds will work more in tune. But then when you get older, you do not feel right when your spouse is missing. It is a matter of something within you that is missing. Your father got back home for all the necessary doctor visits. But it would have been painful, especially when your mother knew that your father’s driving skills, at least his reaction time, is a little slower. She felt he needed four eyes looking at the traffic. Staying with you would make her feel less whole without him, and she would worry. Look at Naomi in the book of Ruth. She went with Elimelek, her husband. They went to Moab in hopes of avoiding the famine, but Elimelek died. Then, after marrying Moabite women, both sons died. All of that within the first five verses of the book. Naomi went home and Ruth loved her. Ruth had pity on Naomi and wanted to stay with her. But in the first verse of the book, Naomi’s place was with her husband.”
Willie said, “But what could Dad do for her on the road? We would have had fun together.”
Babs scrunched her nose. “Willie, do you realize that within the past twelve months, Harold has taken me to maybe a dozen national parks. I have not counted. Let’s see. We just did the Badlands. We went to the Smokies, Shenandoah, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Devil’s Tower, Arches, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Glacier, Joshua Tree, Muir Woods, and Olympic. That’s more than a dozen, but Muir Woods and Devil’s Tower are national monuments. Okay, sorry, there were more than that. We were in every one of the forty-eight contiguous states and Washington, DC. And we talked about all kinds of things, but mostly, we talked about the Bible. And we talked about people that we met along the way. If your mother had stayed here, she might have watched old episodes of television shows that she had seen before, but on the road, every hilltop and every curve in the road meant a new adventure.”
Willie groaned but she admitted that would have been the case when she was working.
Babs continued, “But what about the story of Hannah giving Samuel to Eli? Samuel went about serving the Lord and Hannah brought him a new robe each year when they came to the tabernacle to present their offerings. Hannah did like the mother bird does. She released Samuel from the nest and let him fly. It was earlier than with most people, but she made that sacrifice because she had faith in God. It paid off. Hannah had other sons and daughters. But that did not mean that she loved Samuel less.”
Morrie nodded, “Yeah, when Mom first went on the road with Dad, Willie and I talked about what would happen if we needed her. But the thing is, she did not leave until she knew we could handle the problems that would come up. I screwed up, but I was screwed up before she left, and I still was self-sufficient. But Willie, why are you bringing this up?”
Willie moaned, “Babs keeps saying that when Dad quits going on the road, she won’t be here anymore. I still miss my Mom, and now if Babs leaves, I don’t know who I can call when I just need to talk.”
Babs smiled, “You can talk to God. He does answer. And both of you couples need to rely on each other. Grow more into that two people becoming one thing. You have children. They are going to need you like you needed your mother. I think it’s that circle of life thing. And I cannot promise anything, but I doubt if your father will be at home alone for too long. Weren’t you thinking of renovating the upstairs to be an apartment, just so your Dad could have a roommate and not be alone?”
Morrie nodded, “Yeah. Right now, you are there and you and Dad share in meals downstairs. But I thought I could put a kitchenette upstairs and the only common ground is the space between the stairway and the front door.”
Babs smiled, “Harold is blessed with having both of you to look after him, but right now, he is self-sufficient.”
I then walked into the room, hearing most of it from the next room.
I said, “And right now, right now, if you do not come into the dining room, the ribs are going to get cold.”
Credits
All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife. We would talk about anything and everything. And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.
My wife and I did not go to all the national parks that Babs mentioned, but most of them. My wife went with me on as many instructional jobs as possible, just so that I had four eyes watching traffic, and so that I was not perceived as being alone on the highway.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley 
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