Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

• Isaiah 61:3

In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.
Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
“Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’”
So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.”
David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
“Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”
“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
“No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”
But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
When King David heard all this, he was furious. And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.

• 2 Samuel 13:1-22

Then Haman said to King Xerxes, “There is a certain people dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom who keep themselves separate. Their customs are different from those of all other people, and they do not obey the king’s laws; it is not in the king’s best interest to tolerate them. If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued to destroy them, and I will give ten thousand talents of silver to the king’s administrators for the royal treasury.”

• Esther 3:8-9

When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly.

• Esther 4:1

Then Job replied to the Lord:
“I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
    I will question you,
    and you shall answer me.’
My ears had heard of you
    but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.”

• Job 42:1-6

In the first year of Darius son of Xerxes (a Mede by descent), who was made ruler over the Babylonian kingdom—in the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, understood from the Scriptures, according to the word of the Lord given to Jeremiah the prophet, that the desolation of Jerusalem would last seventy years. So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes.

• Daniel 9:1-3

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

• Ephesians 6:12

The Boilerplate

My wife took a Bible Study in 2011.  (There was a note in the study guide that identified September 2 and that the study was being held on Friday mornings, or I might not have ever figured out what year.)  My wife had become a Christian in 2000. She greatly respected the pastor’s wife who was also a pastor.  The pastor’s wife spent time as the interim associate pastor, and this Bible study might have been during that time.

My wife passed away in March 2023, and I found this study guide as I was cleaning up.  It is a Beth Moore study guide.  Most of the questions are close-ended, mostly fill-in-the-blank.  But my wife was eager to learn.  She wrote her thoughts in the margins, sometimes encouraged to do so by Beth Moore.  I will use her comments as I did once before, calling this a “with a little help” series in that my wife contributes.  There is more to follow in that she wrote Scriptures and prayers in a notebook.  Probably what she found in her personal Bible study, giving her encouragement through the long illness that took her life.

So, instead of writing about a topic at random, I am going to write on my wife’s comments in the Study Guide. It may follow the study guide topics, but it may not.

Discussion on this topic

Why did Mordecai cover himself in ashes?

“Typical to cover with ashes because it was a sign of mourning (Mordecai). [Haman] despises [the Jews].  ‘You can throw away their people.’ ”

• My wife’s response

Haman meant to exterminate the Jews.

Why did Job cover himself in ashes?

“Job was ashamed for not trusting, having faith – A sign of mourning and worship.”

• My wife’s response

Job had demanded God give him an answer.  When God came to Job, Job realized how puny he was and how great God was.  He worshipped God, but there was an element of humility in it also.

Why did Daniel cover himself in ashes?

“Humility and reverence before God.”

• My wife’s response

The exile would last seventy years, and Daniel would never return to Jerusalem.  Yet, he must serve God where he was.

How do you express your mourning?

“Through tears and heartfelt prayer.”

• My wife’s response

And now for the passage from 2 Samuel 13:1-22.  What emotions does this story stir within you?

“Family secrets.  Disgrace for Tamar.”

• My wife’s response

Quite the understatement here.  Her half brother raped her.  He then dismissed her, not wanting to “make it right.”

How did Tamar express her grief?

“She tore her garment and placed ashes on her head and placed her hands on her head because she was weeping.”

• My wife’s response

What do you think of Absalom’s advice to Tamar?

“Confession is good for the soul, but justice is like honey to the bee.”

• My wife’s response

Who is our true enemy and what should we do?

“Satan. Put on the armor of God.”

• My wife’s response

This was a horrible chapter in the Bible.  When Absalom was banished from David’s presence.  Absalom enlists Joab to trick David into letting him return.  When Absalom is given a second chance, the heady draught of having committed murder and getting away with it went to his head.  He established himself king.  Obviously, David was ill fit for the job when he could not carry out a murder sentence.  David and those faithful to him left Jerusalem.  Eventually, there would be a battle between Absalom and Joab.  Joab would go against David’s orders and have Absalom killed.

The old saying of two wrongs do not make a right is clear here.  Amnon raped his half-sister.  The penalty should have been death, but not administered by Absalom. And then the murder of Amnon did something within Absalom that left him twisted.  Absalom named his daughter Tamar, but we never learned what eventually became of his sister Tamar.  Absalom’s sister Tamar is left in the story, broken and ashamed.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory