Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Jemima L. Yeggs, a.k.a. Stinker.  Pink Lady Apple Yeggs, my landlady and my auntie, has decided that now that I am not off having adventures by chasing storms, warning people about the storm that is coming, and helping the people who are devastated by them, I should write about my Sunday School Class.  She wants to read about how younger people, especially couples respond to what the Bible says.  And she wants to know how God is at work at Lily the Pink.

TomCat had asked for Scriptures that talked about the love of God other than 1 John.  In the last lesson, Arabella Dalton highjacked our time practically falling all over Michael Rowe Casey.  They have loss during a flood in common, but once Arabella said that Michael was dreamy, we know what is on her mind.

But Joseph Jones salvaged the lesson by talking about how Deuteronomy spoke several times about how God loved the Chosen People, but also that for a thousand generations, God loves those who loved Him.  Then, Joseph turned the focus onto how God, throughout the Old Testament showed His love for His Chosen People and the challenge for the week was to show God’s love rather than talk about it.  Which, in many ways, pointed back to 1 John, but I am hoping people will find Old Testament verses that show how God showed His love.

But I was having a funky day.  It was about forty-five minutes before the class was about to start and we met in Easy’s and my apartment.  So, I would not have to go anywhere once I got ready.  I decided to take a quick shower to wash the feeling of funky off.

Just as I was stepping out of the shower, there was a knock at the bathroom door.  I yelled, “I’m naked!  Don’t come in.”

The door opened anyway.  It was B.B., a.k.a. Mary Sheltie Jones.  She was dressed to the nines.  Her hair was perfect.  I hate to say this, but Easy’s first impression of her was that she was drop-dead-gorgeous, and he might be right.  I repeated, “I’m naked!  Get out!”

Mary said, “But I really have to go.  And our apartment is one of the few that is left on the first floor.”  Since Joseph was the counselor and chaplain at Lily the Pink, he had been given a two-bedroom apartment, the extra bedroom as his office, and the living room doubled as a waiting room.  Mary agreed to the arrangements when they became engaged and held to the agreement once they were married.  But she only walked up one flight of stairs.  How much poor bladder control does that take?!

I stared at her.  She stared at me.  She said, “Oh, that is what six-months pregnant looks like without any clothes on!”

I replied, “Thanks for the body shaming.  Now, get out!  You are over thirty minutes early, B.B., and you are not the boss.  I know.  You are conditioned to think that you have to be fifteen minutes earlier than expected.  But just because I expect you to be early does not mean that you have to be fifteen minutes earlier than that!  Thirty minutes early means that you are not early; you are sick!”

Mary frowned, “Stink, you look twisted.”

I blustered, “More body shaming?  One person tells me to eat more since I am eating for two.  Another person says not to gain too much weight that may never come off.  Please, that is twisted enough!”

Mary huffed, “No, you are trying to put your clothes on without drying off.  Your clothing is twisted and rolled up.  I’ll help you.”

I spluttered, “I thought you had to go to the toilet!”

Mary groaned, “I do, but I can’t go with someone watching me.”  She was pulling and tugging at my dress that would normally be a size too big with the stretchy baby bump section.

I growled, “But I can’t go out there with Joseph and whoever else might be early!”

She giggled, “No problem.  You are fixed, girlfriend.  Please leave, so I can go to the bathroom, and then you can come back.  I can stay and help you with your hair.”

I only said, “Grrrr!” as I walked out the bathroom door, but I did take her up on the help with the hair.

While she was brushing my hair, she asked why I had taken such a late shower.  I said, “Someday, you will be pregnant, and you will know what it feels like to feel funky.  There are a variety of reasons over the forty weeks.”

Mary sighed, “Not for a while with us.  They say that marriages last longer if you wait a couple of years.  What you have here is perfect with an aunt who has unlimited support for new mothers.  Joseph and I could rely on that too, but I have to think about the Storm Chasing Channel.  There is a lot of programming that we have to add this year, and the Turtle team will be two players down when you deliver and at least a month before that.  I sure hope you do not get pregnant with the second one when Home Wrecker and I start our families.  Dr. Ellie and I have been considering others as fill-in personnel for the team.  Kevin and Joseline would be great, but she is pregnant too.  And from what she says, if it is not a girl, they have to try again quickly to keep her mother happy.  What pressure!  Okay, Stink, you look great, and you smell wonderful.  You are going to have to share your bodywash secrets.  And your hair is nice.  I am sure Hannah Bandanna could do better, but I did have some classes in make-up and hair styling before you go On Air.”

I looked in the mirror and she had done a great job in practically no time at all.  The hairdo might fall apart quickly, but she knew how to hide the issues quickly.

When we emerged from the bathroom, I saw Emmett, Menzie, and Arabella commandeering the loveseat.  Arabella is small for a thirteen-year-old.  Emmett smiled, “Oh, hi!  I didn’t know your bathroom handled multiple people.”

I groaned, “It doesn’t.  Mary helped me with my hair.”

Menzie said, “You look great, Ms. Yeggs.”

I stuck my tongue out, “I told you, Menzie, Aunt Jemima is fine.  And Emmett, what are you doing?”

Before he could answer, Arabella asked, “You call her pancake syrup?”

Everyone groaned.  Arabella was an extreme extrovert.  She often spoke before her brain was in gear.

Emmett hissed, “Airhead!  Her name is Jemima, and she has older half-sisters who had children before she was born.  She has been Aunt Jemima all her life.  And, Aunt Jemima, I am setting up a keyboard.  We are going to sing Amazing Grace.  Menzie and Arabella have been practicing.  I love your song leading, but with one person making naughty, but maybe playful, remarks, I thought I would volunteer and recruit a couple of nice voices.  You can then add your nice voice.”  He might add politician to his career goals.

I asked, “How many instruments can you play, Em?”

Emmett shrugged, “Alto and Tenor Saxophone, classic guitar meaning not a strummer, and I am learning banjo.  The llamas like the banjo.  I play it out there in the woods, so no one has to hear my mistakes except the family, but the llamas hear me, and they come in for their special diet that we bring.  It supplements what they get by grazing and the bales of hay in the winter.  Arabella is great with the pregnant llamas.  She doesn’t know anything about birthing humans though.”

Arabella stood and curtseyed, “I want to be a veterinarian, and when our vet comes to the farm, he trusts me to be his assistant.  I helped with three births this past Spring, and I delivered a goat last week.  But if you need help, I hear Jochebed is good at that with humans.”

I cleared my throat.  “Jochebed can come with me, but I have a doctor who will help me with the birth at the hospital.  Humans do not find a quiet place in the field to birth their young.”

B.B. was laughing.  “I love having Arabella here.  You never know what she’ll come up with next.  Maybe we can run a series of farm weather shows and have a crew follow the llamas during the next birthing season.  When is that, Belle?”

She said, “Anywhere from November to March.  They are in heat right after giving birth, so if they mated, pregnancy is about eleven and a half months, so we had one in January and two in February.  There are some hints that says the mother is ready, so you might not have a false alarm and waste more than a day or two.”

B.B. shook her head, “Don’t worry about that.  When we have to wait a day, we film anyway.  We’d talk to you, the vet, check the weather, and then the magic happens in the film editing room.  It will not be time wasted.”

As Arabella and B.B. finished a verbal contract for something that might be entertaining as well as educational, everyone else walked in one couple at a time, along with the three significant others for the musical trio.  Sophie came in with Blaise and Margie.  Michael naturally appeared with his adoptive parents.  When Samuel came in, he was followed by Missy MacDougall.

Missy announced, “I heard this was a standing room only crowd.  As head of security at Lily the Pink, I have to inform you that the occupancy of this room exceeds the fire code.  That being said, if you could find a couple more chairs, Angus and I would like to join you.  We might be the oldest couple, but we have heard this is a good class and a great warm-up before heading off to church.”

I asked, “But if we already exceed the fire code, could we take in two more?”

Missy shrugged, “What fire code?  Did somebody say something about fire codes? …  But seriously, if the class grows any more, we might have to move into Pink Lady’s office.  It’s empty this time on Sunday morning.  Everybody is upstairs in the big house, primping.”

As she walked out the door, I said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

I opened us in prayer, complaining about Mary walking in on me while I was getting dressed, but then how she helped me get ready.  Our topic was putting God’s Love into action, and although she had been rude, she was helpful, and I needed to love on friends like that.  I need her in my life.  With all that said and putting an “Amen” after it, Emmett led us in our hymn for the day.  A couple of people suggested he use the sax next week, but Emmett simply shook his head.

I suggested that we start with the youngest couple, adding the ages together, since it was clear that everyone had done their homework and they had at least one verse each as a couple.

Blaise was about to talk, but I said that adding his age with the old, old, old woman he was paired with (Margie is 15), that made Arabella and Michael the youngest couple.  Blaise whined, “But once Arabella starts, it will be time to go to the bus before she’s finished!”

Easy seemed to wake up for a second, “Listen, Bro, wait your turn, and be polite to the newest class member.  Besides, she sings like an angel.”

Arabella giggled, “Thank you.” She was holding it in, but barely.

Michael said, “We have friends that complain that their parents never say ‘I love you.’  But they have to admit that they are loved.  Their parents meet their needs and a few wants, like a new video game.  So, we went with Exodus 16:13-15, “That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, ‘What is it?’ For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, ‘It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat.’ “ That bread was manna, which means ‘what is it?’  And God kept feeding them manna until they got to the Promised Land.  God showed them love by meeting their needs.

“Very good!” I said, “Did your Mom help you with that?”

Home Wrecker laughed, “Yeah, I drove him over here so that he and Arabella could work on it together.  And Arabella has more experience with Bible stories than Michael and me put together.”  Arabella only giggled.

I nodded, “Okay, Blaise you and Margie are next.”

Blaise said, “We chose Numbers 22:28. “Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, ‘What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?’ “  King Balak of the Moabites wanted Israel cursed.  Balaam rides his donkey and, three times in a row, the donkey goes off the road when the donkey sees an angel.  Then, once the donkey talks and Balaam listens, Balaam blesses the Israelites.  What was meant for harm turned out to be a blessing.  And in that way, God still does that with us.  God loves us too.”

“Are you sure that you didn’t choose that verse because of the KJV translation?” I asked.

Blaise smiled and said, “No.  I read it from the NIV.”

Easy said, “And he said that with a straight face, but Margie was about to lose it.”

Menzie and Samuel came up with Judges 3:9.  Othniel becomes the first judge when the people repented and prayed for deliverance.  God heard their cries and rescued them.  Sophie and Emmett came up with several psalms about how God loved His people and rescued the afflicted.  Joseline and Kevin mentioned how David had killed Goliath, maybe because Joseline identified with the giant?  Catharine and Thomas went for the story of David and Bathsheba.  Although the baby would die, God not only forgave them, but Solomon was chosen to be the next king.  Easy came up with extending Hezekiah’s life by fifteen years.  Penny and Blake came up with the story of Jonah and how Ninevah was spared, and they were not part of the Chosen People.  We were impressed even after they admitted that they watched a cartoon movie before they read the book in the Bible.  Dr. Ellie and Dr. Ben Casey came up with several barren women who were able to have a child: Sarah had Isaac, Rebekah had Esau and Jacob, Rachel had Joseph and Benjamin, Manoah’s wife had Samson, and Hannah had Samuel.  But Joseph went out of turn.  He chose how God punished the people.  They had been warned that other nations would take them into exile in Deuteronomy if they disobeyed God, worshipping other gods.  They were warned several times, with God showing mercy.  The Scripture they picked was Jeremiah 29.  The letter to the exiles spells out a seventy-year punishment.  Joseph’s point was that parents give boundaries.  When the children violate those boundaries, the punishment should match the warning, in love, with the goal being guiding the children toward the right direction.

Joseph also closed us in prayer.  I asked for suggestions, and they said they would e-mail me.  Then, I asked Joseph if there was collusion.  No one picked the same verse.  He admitted that as people came up with their verses, they sent out an e-mail to everyone else.  That way, there may have been a few overlapping themes, like forgiveness, but there were no repeat Bible verses.  And Joseph admitted that the ones who were in the church most of their lives waited for the newer Christians and TomCat to find a verse.  Tom and Cat are catching on to e-mail quickly, and they love the Bible search engines.

I have no idea what the e-mails will tell me and which of their ideas I will pick.  I am hoping to keep it about the attributes of God for starters.

Credits

I remember from my wife’s pregnancies that feeling “funky” and bladder control were issues to which I had to be sensitive.  Of course, this instance of bladder control was her friend and not the pregnant person in the room.  And yes, my wife and I have had friends who just barged into bathrooms.  We learned to lock the door when friends came over.

And the point of this list of verses is that I had the question come up in a Sunday school class.  Deuteronomy, in last week’s class, states God loving people a few times, but this week’s verses speak of putting that love into action.  Those that say that the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament needs to reread the Bible with the mindset of seeing God as a God of love.  God does not change.  He is the same before, now, and forever more.  It is us puny humans that change.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.