We are Jemima and Easter Yeggs.  Lieutenant Yeggs wants his son to write these reports to keep in touch when we are out having our adventures, and Rev C.S.L., my Dad, doesn’t mind an update either.

The Turtle Code Names

I haven’t had complaints, but it dawned on me that the two Dads share this with others.  So, here are the code names if you did not know, all given by the lead professor of storm chasing, Dr. Elvira Quinn Casey, aka Home Wrecker.  Since Mary Sheltie Jones is the producer and director of the Storm Chasing channel, official now that she graduated, she is B.B. which is short for Bossy Boss.  Mainly because she can be at times, but if I had a best friend, she would be.  Then, there is me, Jemima Yeggs, aka Stinker.  Easy and I were just being ourselves.  We were madly in love, but celibate.  Home Wrecker was far from celibate and B.B. was a virgin due to being so business oriented that she had never gone on a date.  Neither had been interested in knowing God, but they both, in different ways wanted the peace, hope, and joy that I had.  Thus, when they reluctantly accepted Jesus, I became the Stinker.  Otherwise, without the Stinker, they would have never known what they were missing.  And then, there is Easy.  I called him Easy before he gained the code name.  Easter or Easy, whatever, that was his name.  But recently, I saw a video where Home Wrecker had tried to make Easter a conquest.  Since she failed due to his love for me and Jesus, she used sarcasm in giving him the code name of Easy, since he was the most difficult conquest that she was never successful with.  I still do not know how to take that.  I love Easy even more, but should I worry about Home Wrecker more?  After all, she is married to Dr. Ben Casey, aka Mama’s Man, and the mother of Michael Rowe Casey, aka That’s My Boy.  Oh, and two substitute crew people may be the Johnsons, Kevin (Skinny) and Joseline (Amazon), and our team counselor is B.B.’s husband, Joseph Jones, aka No Joe.  Really, do not call him Joe; it’s Joseph.

In remembering the girl talk where she realized she needed Jesus in her life, Dr. Ellie made this first girl talk with Arabella a pajama party, but I did not think that Easy would barge in with five or six flavors of coated popcorn, like he did with that first pajama party in a hotel while storm chasing.  The strawberry and yogurt was my favorite!

Dr. Ellie had changed in our spare bedroom, now being fitted as the baby’s room.  She emerged from the bedroom with a bathrobe covering whatever she was wearing underneath.  Since I was at the halfway point in my pregnancy, I wore my most fashionable tent.  Okay, I really was wearing some pregnancy pajamas, with teddy bears all over them, half with pink ribbon around their necks and the other half with blue.  Yes, Easy and I both counted.

When Arabella walked in, about five minutes early, we made sure she had followed instructions and we pointed to the baby’s room for her to change.  She made a remark that she did not like the connotation, but then Dr. Ellie said that was where she changed.

Arabella reentered the living room wearing an interesting pair of pajamas, very airy, low cut, but modest.

Home Wrecker started, “Okay, we will call you Belle, and while we are in these girl talks, we are equals, so you can call us Ellie and Jemi.”

Arabella smiled and nodded.  She started breathing heavier, a sign she was getting excited.  Then she asked, “When do I get a code name?”

Ellie laughed and shook her head.  “Those are for storm chasing team members only.  Let’s just do first names.”

Arabella said, “Awww!”

I snickered, “Wait, Ellie!  You gave me my code name because of the girl talks and that was the first code name.  The others followed as the team started to coalesce.  So, are the code names storm chasing names or girl talk names that got out of hand?”

Ellie huffed, “Okay, I am Ellie.  We have our new member, Belle.  And we have the Stinker!”

Belle laughed.  I just stuck out my tongue.

Then Ellie asked, “Belle?  I might think of a code name, but nothing is surfacing yet.  Why did you wear that particular pair of pajamas?”

Arabella blushed, “Well, I was being asked to a pajama party with two older women.  Jemi is in college, so, she must be about twenty years old, and you are…”

Ellie put up a hand, “Stop right there.  I will admit to being older, but please, do not call me old.”

We all laughed at that.

Ellie said, “You did not disappoint me in your choice in pajamas at all.  I expected that.  Now, do you want to see what I have on?”

Ellie stood to remove the bathrobe.  Belle nodded eagerly.  Ellie shrugged in a well-practiced fashion and the bathrobe fell to the floor.  For a moment, all I could see was a Gwen Quinn special that was the naughtiest that I had ever seen, bright red, and none of the naughty bits were covered.

I ejaculated, “What!?”

Belle said, “I knew you could outdo me!  I’m such a disappointment.”  She started to pout.

Ellie went over and kissed Belle on top of her head.  “I only wore this to see your reaction.  Belle, do not rush to grow up.  You will miss so much of the wonders and excitement of being a teenager if you wish your way into some fake kind of grownup before your time.  Sure, you like Michael, and I would love for you to be his girlfriend.  You are full of energy and you both love those silly goats, but there is a lot of life you should live between now and when you two even get out of high school.  Now, I am going in the bedroom to put a little cover over this.”  She addressed me while in the other room.  “And Stinker, you did not see what you thought you saw.  I am wearing nude underwear under this raunchy thing.  I did not even take it on the honeymoon.  I wore naughty ones, but this is over the top.”  She came back with a red bed dress.  It barely covered the other stuff and with a slit skirt so she could show her legs off, but she had enough covered for her to still look sexy but not distracting.  And it amazed me that she was still in great shape.  Then again, I felt bloated.

I had to ask, “What did you wear on the honeymoon?”

Ellie said, “In two words, nunya business.”

Belle asked, “Is that not four words?”

Ellie laughed, “Not the way I said it!”  After we laughed, she said, “Okay, the thing under this is similar to what I wore the wedding night.  Did Gwen give you one like it, but with little curtains over the naughty bits in lace?”  I nodded.  “That was the wedding night attire, white, not red.  Naughty, but demure at the same time.  Then, have you heard about Pauline Niblick’s golf course nightie?”  I snickered, but I nodded.  “Gwen had her friends design a thunderstorm nightie for me.  That was the next morning’s attire since we had breakfast delivered to the room, part of the deal at the fancy hotel.  What can I say?”

I asked, “Thunderstorm nightie?”

Ellie nodded, “The top was cotton balls on a few strings.  Ben got to pull little bits of cloud while my assets began to show.  It tickled.  Then he went lower where the cotton balls were dyed gray.  Each time, he pulled one, he got shocked, as it was attached to a replica of a lightning bolt complete with a tiny watch battery and a thin wire woven into the string.  It was very low voltage and amperage, more a scare than anything harmful.  He would say ‘ouch,’ and I would tell him to be more of a man.  But about halfway through what he was doing, and what I did not know was wired into the silly nightie, was that as he pulled one of the lightning bolts, something started vibrating down below, between my legs.  I started to moan.  He asked if he should hurry, but I said for us to kiss for a while instead.  I wanted to enjoy the moment.  It finally stopped vibrating after all the lightning bolts were removed.  I only told him what was happening later on.”

Belle said, “This is exciting.  I have never had this kind of girl talk before.”

Ellie smiled, “Belle, I sincerely want for you to wait until your wedding night, and if Gwen Quinn is still the company president, you will get your own supply.  Then again, I think Gwen has the contacts in Pink’s truck list file.  But if I can open a window, just a little, maybe you will be less curious about that stuff and willing to wait for the real thing, with God’s blessing on it, and you won’t go the route that I went.  Belle, I was not a good girl when I was growing up.  I do not think you want to be a bad girl, but when you say the things you say, it tells me that those things are on your mind.  In that way, you and I were alike when I was your age.  But you really want to wait for the right boy and the right time, and I wanted the opposite, and I got the opposite.  Can I tell you my testimony, please?”

Belle nodded.

Ellie took a deep breath.  “The early years, Jemi can only guess about.  She knows how my mother was.”

Belle asked, “Where is your mother?  I didn’t see her at your wedding.”

Ellie frowned, “My mother is no longer with us.  I wish I had met Jemi sooner.  Jemi knew just the right questions to ask.  And when we had our first pajama party, I accepted Jesus, along with popcorn that Easy brought to the party.  He kind of crashed the party near the end.  But my mother died about six months before.  It was why Dr. Kildare and Ben Casey were the initial teammates on the Turtle.  Before it was the Turtle.  But my mother taught me to have sex as much as I wanted.  She said there were two reasons to have sex.  One was for enjoyment.  One was for career advancement.  She lived by that idea.  When she died, she was in Washington, DC, working with a lobbyist.  She would take senators and congressmen to bed to gain their vote for one type of legislation or another.”

Belle asked, “How did she die?”

Ellie took another deep breath.  “She was run over by a motor vehicle.  No security camera caught it.  It was hit and run.  The DC police say accident, but I think that she slept with the wrong lawmaker, and she had to be eliminated.  But that was her life.  She always lived it on the edge.  But I never got to talk to her about Jesus.”

Belle said, “That’s sad.”

Ellie nodded, “But you interrupted my testimony.  I have practiced this thing a hundred times and it comes out differently every time.  Have you ever heard about the expression ‘I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?’”

Belle said, “I heard about what happened to Thomas and Catherine.  I think two children look to see what is different between boy and girl plumbing.  That’s what my Dad says.  When I started having ‘plumbing problems,’ Mom became the only one to deal with my illnesses and aches and pains.  Once Dad knows I have a cold, he steps in to help.  Until then, ‘plumbing problems’ have to be ruled out.  And before you ask about exposing yourself, I have never done that.”

Ellie smiled, “Good girl.  I did it about a dozen times.  All when I was nine or ten.  I was advertising for what would come later.  Like I said, my mother wanted me to start early.”  I looked at her quizzically.  “Okay, Jemi, maybe closer to twenty times, but definitely not more than two dozen, and nobody touched anything other than their own clothing.  And never with a crowd around.”

I snickered and shook my head.

Ellie continued, “But then from eleven to thirteen, I was in limbo.  My mother did not want me to get pregnant.  I started taking the pill at twelve.  My mother and I would be naked on the bed, and she would teach me things.  Very little her touching me, mostly her guiding my hands and then I found out what felt good on my own.  Then she started dressing me on the edge of propriety.  She poured over the school regulations to make sure she was barely safe.  I had no takers until nearly the end of my freshman year in high school.  I was barely fourteen and running track.  I ran the one-hundred-meter and two-hundred-meter races, the one-hundred-meter hurdles, and the 4 by 200 meter relay.  The coach watched how tired I was getting, and he might pull me off the one-hundred-meter dash, but that was my favorite.  It was usually near the end though.  And that was me as a freshman.  Somehow, I had not perfected my seducing skills.  I had nearly made it through my freshman year without even dating.  And I was developed enough for the boys to torture me with straight pins to see if they were real.  I yelped in pain, but then I would say some line like, ‘Now that you know they are real, what are you going to do about it?’  The boys would just get embarrassed and run away.”

Ellie took another deep breath.  “Then one of the boys I had dropped my pants for back four years before came by.  He was one of the longer distance runners.  He asked if I wanted to show him mine again.  I said sure.  He said he had the keys to the men’s locker room.  All I had to do was wait until everyone left.  He made it sound like he was trusted, but I found out later that he had messed up and as for punishment, he had to put all the gear away and mop the shower area.  About all that I will say is that it was clumsy, but I was no longer a virgin.  The next day, Lance, the senior hunk who was the state champion in the pole vault and discus said that I had caught his eye.  It took no encouragement at all in going with him behind the concession stand and under the bleachers.  He had a little nest set up for the occasion.”

I shook my head, “Ellie, two different boys in two days?”

She shrugged, “I will leave out the two different boys in the same day stories if you prefer, but that is later on.  What Frankie and I did not know was that the head coach had a video camera for security in his office, where there was a couch available.  Monday, Frankie.  Tuesday, Lance.  Wednesday, I was in the coach’s office, in deep trouble.  My mother taught me how to handle these situations.  He showed the video.  He told me that I was the fastest girl they had ever had at the school, running that is, but this was expulsions worthy for both of us.  But as he kept talking, I walked around his desk and started running my hands over his shoulders and across his chest.  And an hour later, the coach had me penciled in for counselling after practice every Wednesday.  But he was great.  He started setting me up with the sons of wealthy people and politicians.  Most of them were nerdy and desperate, but I had fun with them, and the connections to powerful people was what my Mom was interested in.  That lasted throughout high school.  In college, I slept with all my male professors.  No wait, there were two that were so old, I was afraid they would have a coronary.”

Belle asked, “But why are you telling me this?  I do not intend on sleeping around.  My parents would not approve.”

Ellie said, “Because of the silly things that you say.  You have no filter.  Your moral center is saying ‘no’ but your desires that are on hormone overload are saying ‘yes.’  I do not want you to let the ‘yes’ overshadow your moral code, and then you and the boy you are with get into something that has gone too far.  Once you have gone that far with your passions, you skip over the dating part, and you get right to the naughty part.  Dating bores you after a while.  I know.  I was there quickly.  Two or three times when a boy came to my house to pick me up for a date, you know, a movie and dinner, I would greet him by saying, ‘Hi, I’m Ellie, I bet I can get my clothes off and jump into bed before you can.’  And then he would chase me to my bedroom.  I missed out on a lot of movies that way, but we still managed to go out to eat.  And I want you to know that there are so many reasons to make love to your spouse.  God celebrates when it is done right.  You can do that to have children, like a little Stinker over here.  You can do it to calm your nerves after a busy day.  And you can do it to glorify God.  He made man and woman so that married couples could enjoy each other.”

Ellie breathed again and paused, “But all my sleeping around stopped when Jemi asked me whether my worldview ever got me what I truly wanted out of life.  I had to stop the promiscuity to think that through, and by the time we had a few more girl talks, I accepted Jesus, the night of our first pajama party.  Sadly, I had to buy the pajamas.  I was so used to sleeping with nothing on…  Sorry, but I might have a naughty nightie on for my husband, but after we have some fun, I put something on like this dress.  My life has completely changed, and Jemi can attest to the biggest change of all, other than being monogamous.”

Belle asked, “What is that, Jemi?”  Still grinning like she was about to burst.

I had to think for a few seconds.  “Oh, that!  Before she accepted Jesus, we strictly chased storms.  We only assessed damage after there were no storms to chase, even when there was poor odds in catching the next one.  But now, if houses were damaged or cars flipped over, we made sure where the storm was going and then we doubled back to see if we could help.  We have saved a few lives along the way since then, but we have been there with a hug and a prayer more often than we can count.  Ellie is a changed person in that as we storm chase, her heart goes out to those people in the storm’s path.  Before she focused on the data so that we might warn people to get out of the way of the storm or protect themselves from the storm.  Now her heart goes out to the injured and those who have lost everything, and to be honest, we still get that data.  And another bit of honesty.  There are several things that created the Storm Chasing Channel.  It is our silly code names, which makes us memorable in people’s minds.  It is our teamwork and the excitement of what is happening right then.  But it is the love that we show for others.  And when we can, we visit those victims.  You know a few at Lily the Pink.”

Belle smiled, “Yeah!  Mary Jo Lynn gave birth to Frank Lynn in a hurricane.  And Ellie and B.B. delivered the baby.  Mary Jo works for Jochebed in the nursery.  And Darrel Driver works in maintenance for Mr. Kaiser.  And his wife, Sally Mae, cooks cider.  I like Frank Lynn.  He’s funny.  And when the Drivers cook for the crew, they fix great food.”

And I added, “If Ellie’s life had not changed, she might not have let Easy open the door.”

Ellie groaned, “And calling Jochebed over the phone and having her guide B.B. and me through the process of delivering a baby?!  That would never have happened.  I would have told them to take another route and go to Gainesville, Florida, where they were headed until the road was closed.  So there you have it.  My life before Jesus.  Accepting Jesus at a pajama party with a little Stinker.  And then how my life today has new meaning.  I have married a wonderful man, but a little bit of a mama’s boy.  But I hope to give Michael a sibling in a couple of years, if not a little sooner.  And having a girlfriend is not a bad thing either, as long as he and that girlfriend behave.  Now, you invited Michael to sleep with you.  That was brazen.”

Belle said, “But I was trying to be helpful.  You and your husband might have to leave Michael here if work called you out of town.  And Michael and I already know each other.  A little cuddling wouldn’t hurt.”

I interrupted, “Belle, it rarely stops at cuddling.  Words turn into actions, even when you do not intend to do it.  Like Ellie said, you get bored, and you ramp up the stakes.”

Belle made a face, “Oh.  But I want to experience what my friends in school talk about.  I think I may be the only girl in my class that hasn’t done something.  You know, kissing, hugging, necking.  It’s like I am a toad and the boys don’t want any warts.  And there is only one girl that is flatter than I am.  And she says that she has slept with her boyfriend.  I am such a loser.”

I laughed, “You are not flat, Belle.  And being a virgin is not being a loser.  Besides, how old is this flat girl?”

Belle huffed, “Fourteen.  Okay, I am the only girl that just had her thirteenth birthday in my class.  Everyone will be fourteen by January except for Darla.  She was held back a year, and she is fifteen.  I am the shortest.  And I have the fewest friends.”

Ellie asked, “Even after jumping out of the Turtle underneath the flagpole?”

Belle groaned, “Okay, more people greet me than they used to.”

I shook my head, “I think that half those girls that say they got this far with love making are exaggerating or just lying.  They want to look more grown up than they really are.  I am a preacher’s kid.  I wanted to catch up with my friends too, and half my so-called friends claimed to have bedded multiple guys when they had never been kissed.  Now, one or two got pregnant, but if you compare yourself to the worldly, and an untrue, norm, you are going to get yourself into trouble.  Listen to Ellie.  Enjoy being a teenager.  Maybe we can set up something like an anonymous sponsorship.  Whenever you feel tempted to kiss a duck because the boys are not around, text us, and we can talk you down.  And as for the height and the slow development?  Remember your classmates as they are now and then look in the mirror next summer.  You might not be slow in development.  Age for age, you might be ahead of them.  I have learned that living in a land of instant comparisons leads to a lot of bad decisions.”

Belle asked eagerly, “You would answer when I text?”

Ellie said, “Once school starts for both of us, it may take us a while to reply.  Jemi might be more free than I am.  I am faculty, and I have a full semester of storm chasing.  And for our next little girl talk, I am going to ask Gwen Quinn to get something naughty for you to wear.  Not terribly naughty.  Age appropriate naughty.  You and I can be sisters next time.”

Belle squealed, “Really?!  You would do that for me?”

Ellie nodded. “Yes, but you leave your naughty nightie here with Jemi.  It is just to be worn during our pajama parties.  Oh, and Fireball, I have one more thing to say.”

Belle’s chest heaved up and down with excitement, “What’s that?”

Ellie snickered and looked at me, “I have not told her what her code name is, but she already answers to it!”

I heard Easy fiddle with the door lock.  We were all dressed, so I said that he could come in.

Easy appeared with a big shopping bag.  “Who wants popcorn?  Every flavor the store had.”

Credits

Don’t bother commenting about the Gwen Quinn lingerie.  I have no idea where she gets all that stuff.

Otherwise, this was just a bunch of girl talk.