Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
    And who is the Rock except our God?

• Psalm 18:30-31

The Boilerplate

My wife started to write her thoughts down at one point in her life.  Some hints point to 2018 and 2019, after she had her open-heart surgery.  In spite of her trials and the atrial fibrillation (A-Fib) that required her to take blood thinners, this was before her major health decline.

Sometimes, she wrote a thought.  Other times, she wrote a Bible verse, and maybe her idea on that day.  Other times, it is a prayer, but I am going to take one entry at a time and try to write about it

Her comment

“The ways of God are without faith.  The Lord’s words are pure.  He is a shield to those who trust Him.  Who is God? Only the Lord.  Who is God? Only the Lord.  Who is the Rock?  Only our God.
“God’s promises may seem long in coming, but they always prove true.”

• My wife’s next comment in this notebook

The Discussion

My wife was always singing silly songs.  She would make some statement, tie it to a tune, and make words up if she had to.  The more embarrassing the song was for the one she “honored” with a song the better.  She sometimes put a lot into the lyrics, but occasionally, it would be the same line over and over again and singing a little scat to fill in the gaps.

When I saw her version of Psalm 18, it seemed to be a different translation, but then it dawned on me that she was simply taking the psalm as the rough lyrics to her song in singing praises to God.  She repeats “Who is God? Only the Lord.”  Then she says “Who is the Rock?  Only our God.”  That is roughly Psalm 18:31.  She wrote the Bible reference, but she did not quote the verses.  I can imagine her thinking of a tune that required repeating the line for the meter to be right.

The way she used to do this kind of singing, the song might be an earworm that would last all day and then reappear a few weeks later.  I suppose since she wrote it down, she meant to review it on occasion.

Then she talks about how God’s promises are proven true, it just may take some time.  The promise may be long in coming.  Was this part of her song, or was she praising God in a different way while reminding herself that God answers prayers?  God stays true to His promises.  She was reminding herself that she needed to be patient.  If this was in the gap after she finished her cardiac rehab after open-heart surgery and before she got sick from end stage kidney failure, then she might not have been thinking that death would be her ultimate cure.

My wife got very serious about her exercises in her rehab.  She walked a lot, but on fairly level ground.  She did all the flexibility exercises and balance exercises.  Her mental focus was improving.  She was thinking about how God may not get her back to full health until she had done a lot more exercises, but she was ready.

Then our son got sick, and they needed help.  She went down to babysit the kids and watch over our son.  But then COVID hit, and the lockdown forced the separation between me and my wife to be extended.  When I talked to her over the phone, her mental focus was gone.  She admitted that she was tired, and she had to ride a motorized cart around the grocery store.  Before she had left to help them, she refused the motorized carts.  She needed the exercise, and the grocery store was on flat ground.  I went down and brought her back, setting up appointments with her doctors.  Within three months, she was on kidney dialysis.

I think from that moment on, she might have still been singing this song, but she might have been seeing the way God would “heal” her, with the perfect healing of death and resurrection.

God is faithful in His promises.  But sometimes, those promises are long in coming.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory