Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

I had a crowd in my office and the play area had some special guests also.  I had the Vitamin Flintheart Softball infielders, including Margie, a pitcher, and Josie, the catcher.  Tammie, the infield coach, was also there.  The young ladies had their boyfriends, Josie and Tammie not having any boy to be arm candy.  And in the play area were Grannie Fannie, PawPaw, Kanok, Joon, Sparkle, Lauren, Sammie, and Josie’s little boy, Daniel.  It wasn’t exactly Daniel’s first birthday, but we were going to have cake for him anyway.  But the little ones were my children and the children of two of the softball players.

I got everyone seated and then I sat next to my desk, instead of behind it.  I said, “I am so glad you all came here today.  I appreciate your attendance.”

Almost as if on cue, Kanok walked over and slapped me on the knee while looking at everyone else – her way of making introductions.  She said, “Mommie Pinkie.”  Then, in turn with a knee slap, she said, “Samuel, Menzie, Sophie-aah, Imminent”

Emmett said, “That’s Emmett, Kanok.  I am not about to be here.  I am here.”

Kanok nodded, “That’s why I say your name!”  She continued, while everyone else was laughing. “Bah-laze, Mah-Gee, Tammie, Tammie, Tammie.”  Why Tammie got her name mentioned three times, I have no idea.  Then she slapped Brooke on the knee, “I’m Kanok.  Your name?”

Each was hesitant, but they said their names, “Brooke, Ricardo, but you can call me Goober, Carla, Brenton, and Josie.”

Kanok added, “You, Danie Mommy!”

Josie asked, “She knows Daniel’s name already?”

I nodded, “She is very social.  And she has no stranger danger at all.”

Kanok then said, “Mommie Pinkie, you can take it from here.”  And Kanok went back to Daniel and gave him a hug.

I shook my head, “Kanok picks her times where she feels a need to introduce everyone.  I hope you don’t mind the slap on the knee.”

About that point, we heard Kanok tell Grannie Fannie that the big guy was Booger!  Then Goober put his hands to his face and doubled over laughing.  Then Kanok added, “And Book doesn’t look like a book.  She looks like a girl!”

I groaned, “She doesn’t always get the names right, but sadly she remembers them.  But now that the introductions are over, I will want a little more introduction later.  But does anyone have a question before we get started?”

Brenton said, “I am concerned.  Did you bring us here to force Carla and I apart and Brooke and Goober too?”

I moaned, “I had the same accusation a week ago!  No, nothing further from the truth.  Yes, by request of the parents I separated two people until they graduated high school, but they are now married with a three-week-old baby girl.  We separated an unmarried couple who were having sex to avoid dealing with a trauma.  They are finally, months later, starting to rebuild a stronger relationship.  And I would like to ask Margie, Sophie, and Menzie if their relationships have been interfered with, beyond the rules of decorum in the Crystal Mountain.”  They all shook their heads.  “Most of the ladies were here for a party after the championship last year.  No PDA on the Lily the Pink campus except in designated spots and not getting carried away there.  Many of my employees used to be sex workers, and it brings back painful memories.”

Carla asked, “But you do not approve of pre-marital sex.  Is that true?”

I smiled, “As a Christian, I think there is a better way to handle that.  We could study the Scriptures, but let’s do that another time.  I had sex with a boy I hardly knew.  By the time we spent about six weeks in bed, our relationship was discovered.  The head of the Rotten Apple Gang, Red Delicious, at the time, turned this place into a brothel, but I insisted that he convert the warehouse into a cider house.  I ran the cider house.  Baldwyn Apple ran the brothel.  And I had a baby, but he could not grow up in a crime family.  I gave him up and the monastery raised Boaz Salmon Yeggs, the present mayor of Tracy.  I stayed true to Scrambled Yeggs, marrying him a couple of years ago, but Scrambled was not faithful to me, having married another woman, having two sons by her, and then they divorced.  So, I know the pain of not getting it right from the start.  I am not here to preach, but to offer my services.  You, as the Flintheart infield, are a team.  As couples, you are a different team.  But there will be upsets at times.  I want you to remain faithful, grow in love with each other.  And when there is a hiccup, you can come here and talk it over for free, instead of paying a lot for counseling.  But first, we have an interesting group of young ladies who have softball in common.  Can we start with my niece, Sophia?”

Sophia said, “Shortstop, boyfriend, Emmett, not Imminent.  We have not been intimate, and that activity is not imminent.  Em and I have talked about it, and we have decided to wait.  He wants to be a preacher someday, and he does not want a nasty skeleton in the closet that must be explained.  And when he plays sax and Menzie sings at the Snazzy Taz, I run security.  But Em and I first met in the Crystal Mountain.  He and some of the kids were using the water slide, the big one not having been built yet, and he asked if I wanted to join him.  So that is me, our relationship status, and how we met.  Is that what you wanted, Aunt Pink?”

I chuckled, “That is it exactly!  Now Margie.”

Margie said, “Oh, please, why not someone else?  Okay, okay. Pitcher, boyfriend, Blaise.  We have not hit the homerun, but we messed up a few months ago, and Blaise stopped before we did it.  Otherwise, we met at high school pre-registration as freshmen, and we have taken the same classes ever since.”

I smiled, “Short and sweet.  Menzie?”

Menzie said, “Menzie MacDougall, second base, boyfriend, Samuel.  Samuel and I are not intimate now, but Sammie in the play area is our son.  My grandmama is in prison for what she did, so I can talk about it.  I slept with another boy, forced on me by my grandmama, and Lauren was my first.  Then a few months later, grandmama sped up the process because she had a buyer who wanted to buy me on the slave market.  I had to give her another child before I was carted off to the far side of the world.  Samuel was different.  He was more concerned about my wellbeing than doing it with me.  And when my BFF here, Sophie, did some investigating for my adoptive father, I was rescued, just before I was to be taken away, and brought here to be reunited with my mother, Missy MacDougall.  And then Angus and Mom got married and Angus adopted all of us and we got the names changed to MacDougall.”

I nodded, “Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story, dear.  Now Tammie.”

Tammie said, “I can’t say much.  There are on-going investigations that can’t get back to anyone involved, but Tab and I are no longer a couple.  I go to AA meetings, and I have a sponsor who helps with another problem.  Some people forced me to do lesbian activities, and to get certain favors, I had to do those things.  I am in counseling here.  Coach Kessinger knows about it.  I don’t really have those tendencies, but there are impulses due to the environmental conditioning.  Those are fading, but I will not be on shower or locker room patrol.”

It got rather quiet.  “Okay,” I said.  “Now for a visitor who has talked to me about becoming a resident, Josie.”

Josie nodded, “Josie, catcher, no boyfriend except Daniel.  My boyfriend dumped me when I refused to get an abortion.  So, my only boyfriend now is my son, Daniel.  I don’t want to even think of dating at this point.  The pain is too raw.  This past school year, I did distance learning while I was pregnant and having the baby.  So, I am a senior this year.  My mother took a while before she accepted my decision to not just have the baby but keep him.  I don’t know.  I have heard that a lot of young girls changed their minds after the child was born, but I knew a few months before that.  But my mother cannot keep up with the babysitting while I go back to school and if I do distance learning again, I would have to drop off the team.  This season will be my last games; I do not know how I can manage to even go to college, but playing softball would just be too much.  I am not complaining about having Daniel, but it changes your life.”

I smiled, “Thank you, Josie.  We can work out the details.  If you work parttime, maybe take Joseline’s place until her maternity leave is up.  You said you wanted to become a nurse.  My fulltime employees pay a small rent, smaller than the going rate in Tracy.  For the part timers, I let them stay rent free usually.  For tax purposes, I work that out through Dorothy Cahn, aka Dot Com, who runs the mission downtown.  More to work out, but we can work out a scholarship system for you to get your college degree and become a nurse here at Lily the Pink, unless you want to go somewhere else.  But if you do, the rent is a little higher, still less than the going rate in Tracy.”

Brooke asked, “Why all the benevolence?  Aren’t you in business to make money?”

I smiled, “The cider operation, here and in Washington state, makes good money.  The bakery is doing very well and expanding to large event catering.  The smaller caterers in Tracy expressed that they were always concerned with large gatherings, too much liability.  I don’t worry about that.  I have a great team that considers contingencies.  The money in bank accounts and investments makes good money.  I rent to my employees so that it does not seem like charity, but while they can save more, I still break even on the rent with the upkeep of the apartments and the utilities.  The waste heat from the cider operations and the solar heating on the roofs provides most of the electrical utility usage and preheats the hot water for the Big House and the apartments up here within the campus enclosure.  I only give away apartments to mission families, unless they become employees, like Emmett’s parents and the ver Waarloosd family and the Drivers, a few others.”

I continued, “But since you raised the last question, Brooke, what about you, your family, and how you and Goober?  I hope I got that right.  How did you become a couple?”

Brooke shrugged, “There’s not much to tell.  I’m Brooke, third base, boyfriend, Ricardo Francisco Gomez, but everyone calls him Goober Gomez, except for a little Asian girl over there who calls him Booger.”

I laughed, “She is Thai.  Her little brother, Joon, is Korean.  They were both orphaned about the time that the Lily the Pink company president was visiting, and the associated grandmothers felt that going to America might be good for the children’s health.  We know someone who can push the paperwork through, legally, and they are my children.  The company president, Gwen Quinn, came home with children from an undisclosed country in Africa, India, Vietnam, and Chile.  Now if our politicians that can take such trips and only talk could actually do something, the world would be a better place.  My apologies to Ricardo for my daughter’s slip of the tongue.  She may get it right the next time, but with her, it might be stuck that way.  Now, Brooke, your parents and how you met this very large young man.”

Brooke reddened, “You should know my father.  He seemed to live here half the time.  He is a plumber, and the Lily the Pink work was a large portion of his business until sometime last year.”

I smiled, “I apologize, but one of our mission married couples provided us with a guy who could do the simple work, including snaking out clogs in the sewer pipes.  We will still go to your father for repairs, but since a lot has been recently renovated, there have not been many problems other than clogged drains.  Now, what about your mother?”

Brooke smiled, “She is a nurse at the T.R.U.S.T. medical center.  She is the supervisor in one of the wards for surgical recovery.  I had wanted to follow her lead, but I am leaning toward physical therapy.”

Sophie asked, “Have you thought of Kinesiological Psychology?  That’s my Mom’s field.  It just got approved by medical and mental health people, so the insurance companies will pay for it.  It mixes mental and physical therapy to trauma, sports injuries, all that stuff.”

Brooke shook her head, “I’m not that smart.  Goober is the one that has taught me so much.  When I was a freshman, I wasn’t the full-time third base.  I was fast, a slapper…  Umm. Mommie Pinkie?”  I nodded. “A slapper is like a bunter in baseball.  You sacrifice your at bat to move runners into scoring position.  But in softball, if you use strategy in slapping the ball so it bounces a certain way and goes to the right place and you can get the fielders out of position, then you might not be sacrificing.  You might be doing it to get on base without getting put out.  So, I would pinch hit and then play third base for the rest of the game.  But I wanted to get stronger.  I went to the weight room after everyone had left, or so I thought.  As I was working on one machine or another, Goober comes up and asks me what I am doing.  Goober is a mountain of a man on the offensive and defensive lines in football.  I told him I was on the softball team and if I could hit for power, I could be the starter.  He said that I was doing it all wrong.  He said I had a beautiful body, and he had watched me from afar.  I was a cheerleader that year.  He said he would hate to see me get bulked up with the wrong muscles for no good reason.  Goober is an anatomy genius.  He became my strength coach.  I got stronger without losing my figure.  So, since we were working out in the weight room every night after everyone else had left, he would ask me if I would go out for something to eat.  So, we started adding that to our routine.  I got more playing time late that year, especially when I hit a couple of home runs.  Then, last year, I started all year.  Near the beginning of the season, I was working out, and Goober was standing between my legs, watching my movement.  He said something, and he backed away.  I looked down and remembered that I had a problem in biology class earlier that day.  I got this stinky liquid spilled on my lap while working on a lab experiment.  I always put on yoga pants for my workout, but I didn’t have any underwear underneath due to the spill.  He saw more than he was expecting.  Well, one thing led to another.  My mom had me using protection, just in case.  And we made love there on the bench.”

Josie asked, “Which bench?  I need to avoid that one!”

Brooke said, “We cleaned up the entire weight room afterwards.  Don’t worry.  When the football coach asked Goober what happened, he just said that he thought everything needed a deep cleaning.  You are safe, Josie.  But that’s it.  My parents and his parents accept the idea.  We don’t have to hide.  Oh, and Goober’s father is the manager at a manufacturing plant in the northeast industrial corridor.  He is from Detroit, Michigan.  His mother is a psychologist from Texas, and she introduced Goober’s Dad to tacos and enchiladas.  His family had lived in Michigan for generations.  They got Americanized.  Now, that’s it.”

I smiled, “And now, to Carla, the first baseperson.”

Carla said, “My boyfriend is from about a block or two from here.  You don’t have to drive us home.  We can walk to his house.  He is Brenton Munsford.  He is a scratch golfer, and he wants to become a professional, but he is old money here in Tracy, one generation of lawyers after another.  So, he wants to play golf at T.R.U.S.T. and do the amateur circuit until he has his law degree from Uof.  If the golfing does not work out, he wants to be a sports agent.”

I asked, “How did you two meet?  I have talked with his father.  The family seems very traditional and conservative.  I know, skin color is not a big deal with the younger generations, but it might cause friction with the Munsfords.”

Brenton asked, “Car, do you want me to confess my sins, or are you going to do it?”

Carla reddened, although you had to look closely to tell.  “Okay, I grew up in the rich – adjacent community.  It’s that part of Tracy that is between the county line with Stout County and the back edge of the rich part of town.  My grandparents were black sports stars for the Tracy teams.  They might not be accepted at the Hoity Toity club back then, but they started building their home near there, a community of nothing but athletes.  That’s why we called the community rich – adjacent.  One of my grandfathers was a football player, the other played baseball, and one grandmother played tennis.  My Dad is an investment analyst, and my mother is a masseuse.  My Dad played minor league baseball for a while.  All us kids played together, grandchildren of athletes, all in the same neighborhood.  Well, the quarterback on the football team at Flintheart two years ago was my next-door neighbor.  His Dad played golf in Stout County since the Hoity Toity folks were too stuck up.  Sorry, sweetie.  But I enjoyed playing golf there, and I got pretty good.  Brenton found out that I was a golfer, maybe better than playing first base.  He invited the QB and me to play with him and a girl named Wendy.  Wendy and Brenton were in on the deal, but all the QB and I knew was that we’d finally get to play the Hoity Toity club.  The QB had a 14 handicap.  I had a 10 handicap.  Wendy had an 18 handicap.  She got a stroke on every hole, but my handicap was based on playing from the men’s tees.  Wendy and I hit off the lady’s tees.  I used my 3-Wood.  I knew how competitive Brenton could be.  He walked up to me on the big uphill par-5, the third hole.  He said to look at the gap between the forest and the clump of trees on the edge of the fairway.  If I got out my big stick rather than playing down to the competition, I could cut off the dog leg and save a stroke.  He said that the light rough was not punitive in that area.  Then he said that he wanted me to play my best.  He needed me to play my best.  Well, I barely missed an eagle putt, but since I got a stroke on that hole, I won honors.  Brenton was a scratch golfer; he got no strokes anywhere on the course, and he never gave up honors for anyone until that hole.  And he got a birdie.  We tied on the little par-3.  Then I got scared of the water on the next par-5.  I played it safe and ended up getting a bogie, but a par after the handicap stroke.  Brenton sunk a long birdie putt to have honors back.  I got honors on the back nine and kept them for a couple of holes. Do I have to tell the rest?”

Brenton said, “Let me.  I was being disingenuous.  I had gone to Stout County and watched Carla play.  I did not see skin color.  I saw the most beautiful girl in the school and with a little coaching, she could be equal to me in golfing.  She’ll be in the top ten this year academically.  She might be good enough to be a pro softball player.  And she was nice and sweet to everyone she ever met.  She can even sing, maybe not like Menzie, but she is good.  I had a crush on her that had no bounds, and I announced halfway through the back nine that the prize for the round was surf and turf in the family double room at the Hoity Toity lodgings.  It’s a regular hotel room with a bedroom on the side, for privacy.  Wendy was in on it.  She was a sports groupie.  Whoever the sports star was, she wanted to bed the guy.  I had the restaurant bring up lobster tails and filet mignon.  We ate at the dining table, and then I took Carla to the private bedroom while the QB and Wendy stayed there.  I pledged my love for Carla, and Carla looked at me like I was a crazy person.  I told her that I could get any girl that I wanted, but none of the ones who hung on to me were of interest.  I wanted her.  I doubt if my words made much sense, but Carla let caution fly with the wind.  She said that she had ‘done things’ with a couple of the kids in the neighborhood, but nothing that could get her pregnant.  She had protection in case that had happened.  And we have been inseparable ever since.  I make all her softball games when I can.  She is at my golf matches when she can.  Otherwise, we stay home, either hers or mine.  We do homework together.  We plan our lives together.  My Mom thinks that I got the most beautiful girl in the school, but that official prize for most beautiful went to someone else.  But Carla was first runner up.  I think the judges got that one wrong.  If they knew her character, she is more beautiful inside than out.  When I heard rumors about this place, that’s why I had to ask.  I couldn’t live without Carla.”

I sighed, “To be young again, but no.  The three decades since then were a nightmare.  I was imprisoned in this very room, only allowed to go to the cider house and supervise the ladies.  Then Sophie’s father, Dev Yeggs, came in like a superhero and saved us all.  No, I do not break up couples.  On a couple of opportunities, I provided a buffer until they figured things out.  I wish the best for you.  I am a Christian.  I would love to talk to you about Jesus, but that can wait for another day.  I hear that a little boy, named Daniel, had a birthday last month.  I would hate for Daniel to miss out on a technicality of moving to Lily the Pink and being part of the family, where all resident children, elementary school or younger have a birthday party in the birth month.  So, let’s go to the conference center and see what Mabel has got baked for little Daniel.”

We were joined by a few more children.  Naomi brought Gigi, since she would be picking up Sophie and Blaise anyway.  Gwen’s four children were there.  Stasya was there with Karl.  Jemima had Stormie there.  Maeve even had a rare day off, bringing her twins of JOY, Jayne O. and J. Ozzie Yeggs.  And the three ver Waarloosd children were there: Reuben, Samantha, and Levi.  It wasn’t everyone from the Mommie’s Club, but enough.

Josie had her Mom come, to let her know she was moving in and so that her Mom would know that she could visit any time to visit Daniel.  Her Mom looked disappointed and relieved at the same time.

And I am so glad we had everyone there.  Carla and Brooke are not doing things the way I would prefer, but they both seem to have good heads on their shoulders.  We’ll have more time to talk about their beliefs, but I looked for their reactions when Menzie and Josie talked.  They know the consequences if something goes wrong, and they know that I will be there to offer a shoulder to cry on if it does.

And I think Daniel will fit in nicely.

Credits

I cannot think of any Credits this week.  This takes people from a wide array of past stories.

The Hoity Toity golf course is based on a personal design that became a huge needlepoint project.  The photo is of the completed golf course.

A golfer who wins a hole, gets “honors” on the next hole, meaning they tee off first.  A competitive golfer like Brenton would want to always have honors.  Thus, encouraging Carla to do her best showed signs that she meant more to him than a casual fling.