Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.

• 2 Timothy 2:23

Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

• Acts 15:36-41

There was a great uproar, and some of the teachers of the law who were Pharisees stood up and argued vigorously. “We find nothing wrong with this man,” they said. “What if a spirit or an angel has spoken to him?” The dispute became so violent that the commander was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces by them. He ordered the troops to go down and take him away from them by force and bring him into the barracks.

• Acts 23:9-10

They arranged to meet Paul on a certain day, and came in even larger numbers to the place where he was staying. He witnessed to them from morning till evening, explaining about the kingdom of God, and from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets he tried to persuade them about Jesus. Some were convinced by what he said, but others would not believe. They disagreed among themselves and began to leave after Paul had made this final statement: “The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your ancestors when he said through Isaiah the prophet:
“‘Go to this people and say,
“You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
    you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.”
For this people’s heart has become calloused;
    they hardly hear with their ears,
    and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
    hear with their ears,
    understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.’
“Therefore I want you to know that God’s salvation has been sent to the Gentiles, and they will listen!”

• Acts 28:23-28

The Danites answered, “Don’t argue with us, or some of the men may get angry and attack you, and you and your family will lose your lives.”

• Judges 18:25

The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.” But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.

• 1 Kings 3:22

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

• James 4:1-3

Boilerplate

I’m Harold Dykstra.  I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story.  My time is well spent.  A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel.  I did not know she was an angel at the time.  The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone.  And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy.  She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others.  She changed my life.

In her leaving, she said someone would come.  I had thought that was Jesus, in His second coming, but a new Babs, a little older, the model for the posable action figure arrived.  While I had no desire to start over with romance, Morrie helped her move in, thinking she was the other Babs who had returned.

This Week’s Question

Last week, Babs learned that not all the members of the church believed in Jesus, but they believed and even knew they were members.

This week, she was bored.  Or I thought that was it.  It turned out that I had a lesson coming my way.  I was not to be boring.

Babs said, “Harold?”

I did not look up from my Bible reading, “Yes, dear.”

Babs huffed, “Harold, if I say Harold without saying anything else, I want you to stop what you are doing and look at me so that we can talk.”

I moaned, still not putting the bible down, “Babs, I prefer you to make a statement that explains what you want rather than simply calling my name.  Your premise that we cannot have a conversation has been deemed fallacious in that we are having a conversation, and we are not making eye contact.  And really, Babs, are you asking me to put down the Bible, God’s Holy Word, just for us to have some idle chit chat?  But if you have an emergency, I would think you would say something more than just, Harold, and your tone would elicit panic of some sort.  You are not in medical distress, are you?  Are you in spiritual turmoil over a problem in your life?  Do you want your feet rubbed and massaged, not that I am very good at that?”

Babs purred, “That was not what I was thinking, but a foot massage sounds really nice.  But wait, a foot massage gets you off the hook.  Hmmm.  A foot massage is so tempting.  No!  Harold Dykstra, put that book down right now.  I want you to look at me so that we can talk.  Sure, we can talk over the phone and not even see each other, but I have been watching a lot of old television shows, and there is a lot of families that sit around the den and look at each other and have a conversation.”

I took the bookmark from the arm of the chair and put it in the Bible where I had been reading.  I carefully placed the Bible on the end table.  While I was doing this slowly, I was wondering why she wanted me to look at her.  Was she wearing something special?  Was her hair fixed differently?  Was she experimenting with her makeup?  I looked up and smiled, “Babs, you look lovely this evening.  I love the way you have your hair done and that seems to be a new dress.  And you did not have to get all gussied up on my account.  My plan was to dine at home and have a quiet Bible study, where we look intently into each other’s eyes all evening.”

“Nice try, buster!”  Babs gritted her teeth.  “My hair is fixed the way it always is.  I am wearing the same dress I wore last week about this time, since I do not have a lot of dresses to fit my new lifestyle.  I have the same minimal eye makeup and the usual red lipstick.  Wrong on all counts, buster.  And now I cannot remember why I wanted to talk.  You have had your head buried in the Bible for an hour.  You should have the next ten Bible studies all put together by now.”

Her lower lip quivered a little, but she bit it to prevent any sign that she was vulnerable.  Her eyes were like daggers, and she folded her arms in disgust.  She was in a full defense position, ready for battle.

“Okay, Babs,” I replied.  “I have put my Bible reading aside.  I sense that you want me to rearrange my priorities.  I will not put God second, but I will make a more concerted effort to make eye contact with you.  I apologize for being distant in any way.  We are the only two in this house.  It is hard to ignore each other, but when I start chewing on the Word of God, I sometimes lose myself in trying to mentally and spiritually dig deeper.  I tell you what.  Let’s do a Bible study right now on disagreement and argument.  Let’s start with 2 Timothy 2:23.”

She sighed, “Harold, we had that verse one day last week.  Wait!  Are you calling this conversation a foolish argument?  Are you calling me the fool?  Are you calling me stupid?”

I groaned, “No, no, and no.  I am just saying that if we truly love each other, we should not spar like a couple of alley cats.”

Babs sighed, “But if we do not raise certain issues, how can we learn whether we agree on them or disagree?  How can I find the veracity of your argument, when you do not make eye contact.  You know, Harold, I am also a human being.  You are not the only human being in this house.  And besides, I think the young Babs would be on my side even though she is your guardian angel.”

I got up from my easy chair.  I walked to the middle of the room.  “Babs, let’s meet halfway and hug.  Paul wanted to revisit the churches that he and Barnabas had planted.  Barnabas wanted to take John Mark.  Paul refused.  As a result, Barnabas took John Mark to Cyprus.  That was where Barnabas was from anyway.  Those were the first church plants that Paul made.  Paul asked Silas to go with him on his second missionary journey.  They walked to the old churches that Paul and Barnabas planted and then they ended up in Macedonia.  The argument left Barnabas and Paul as friends, but they did not work together after that.  I do not want that to come between the two of us.”

Babs arose from her comfy chair and met me halfway.  We embraced.

With her head against my chest, Babs asked, “What other arguments did Paul get into?”

I snickered, “I am sure you remember when he was arrested in Jerusalem.  When he went before the Sanhedrin, they realized that they could not argue with him.  They thought he might be touched by the spirit of an angel.  Of course, he had the Holy Spirit within him.  The Sanhedrin was largely made up of good Jews, but Jews that did not believe in Jesus.  Thus, they attributed his argument skill to an angel and not God Himself in the person of the Holy Spirit.  You could say a lot of Paul’s sermons were arguments.  He was beaten, stoned, imprisoned.  But even when he goes to Rome, he spends two years in a rented house.  He is allowed to have visitors, and he preaches to the Jewish leaders.  Some accept the message and become followers of Jesus, but many do not.  In his statement about their disagreement, Paul quotes from Psalm 119 and Isaiah 6.  And he states that he gets more converts from the Gentiles for they are ready and willing to hear and accept the Gospel of Christ.”

Babs squeezed her hug a little. “That’s nice.  Did they argue in the Old Testament?”

“Of course, they did,” I replied.  “In Judges 18, the tribe of Dan never conquered the Canaanites among them due to their enemy’s iron chariots.  They traveled north.  They discovered a man named Micah who had created a graven image, and he had hired a Levite to act as his personal priest.  The Danites stole the idol and the ‘priest’.  Micah took exception to that, and he argued with the Danites.  The Danites told him that if he wanted to argue, he and his family would die.”

I continued, “It reminds me of the old man who always got a huge catch of fish.  Let’s call him Dan, since we are talking about the people of the tribe of Dan.  The game warden cannot catch Dan doing anything wrong, but he knows that the sheriff is Dan’s friend.  The sheriff asks Dan to go fishing with him.  They get in the boat and motor out to the middle of the lake, early in the morning, right about sunrise.  Dan has a tackle box under his seat in the boat.  He pulls out a stick of dynamite.  He lights the dynamite and tosses it into the water.  The dynamite explodes and a huge amount of fish float to the surface.  The sheriff gasps, ‘Dan!  You can’t do that!  It’s against the law!’  Dan pulls out another stick of dynamite.  He lights the dynamite and throws it into the sheriff’s lap.  Then Dan says, ‘Do you want to argue or do you want to fish?’”

Babs laughed, “I think I’d go fishing.  But what happened to the Danites?”

I sighed, “So, the Danites went to a land north of the other tribes.  The people in that area were peaceful people.  They may not have even been Canaanites.  But they conquered these people with a surprise attack.  They changed the name of the main city of the area to Dan.  So, after this, it is often said in the Bible, ‘from Dan to Beersheba.’  This means all of Israel, from the northernmost city to roughly the southernmost city.  But let’s look at how the Danites conquered Dan.  They failed to drive out the Canaanites when a little faith in God was all they needed.  Then they reject God’s portion of the Promised Land by packing up and leaving it.  This portion was set by Joshua, but it was God’s portion assigned to the tribe of Dan.  They stole the idol and obviously worshipped it.  They kidnapped the priest.  They threatened Micah and his family with murder.  And since there was no war declared and the people they fought and killed were peaceful, you could say they murdered them.  If you want to go down the street and kill everyone in one of the houses and take the house, you would be guilty of murder and theft.  Now, when you turn to Revelation 7, you see the 144,000.  This group of people is comprised of 12,000 from twelve different tribes.  But have you ever noticed who the tribes are?  When you look at the list, eleven of them are sons of Israel (Jacob) and then Manasseh.  Since Joseph is a son of Israel and Manasseh is Joseph’s son, then did Manasseh get more than one portion of the 144,000?  But who is the son of Israel that is not mentioned?  It is Dan.  I may be wrong, but was this horrible sin the reason for this exclusion?  After all, the Danites had rejected what God had given them.”

Babs replied, “I do not feel like arguing that point.  Your argument seems reasonable.  But I am not a Bible scholar.”

I asked, “Do you remember the two prostitutes that argued before King Solomon?”

Babs groaned, “I remember two mothers.  One mother’s child died, and she argued that the living child was hers and the rightful mother argued that it was hers.  So, Solomon was going to cut the child into two pieces so the women could each have half.  Then the rightful mother pleads to let the other woman have the child.  That showed Solomon’s wisdom in finding out the truth.  I don’t remember anything about prostitutes.”

I laughed, “That story starts off with two prostitutes who each had a baby.  While you are dealing with two mothers from that point on, I think the pastors miss a preaching point in glossing over the fact that they were prostitutes.  Women were marginalized in those days.  They could not act as eyewitnesses.  Yet, prostitutes were lower than low.  And yet, God had compassion on them.  Solomon listened to their argument.  Solomon got to the truth and administered justice on their behalf.  So, that tells us today that no matter how long you have been on drugs, or slept around with any Tom, Dick, or Harry, or cursed the name of God, God can forgive if you turn to Him, give your heart to Him, and He will help you repent.  In John 8, the woman caught in adultery was not stoned.  Jesus let her go, but He told her to sin no more.  But to seal this argument about arguing, we can look at James 4.  It starts with asking why we fight and quarrel?  We hurt one another because we have not received from God what we asked for.  Why? Because we asked with the wrong motives.  We asked for our own pleasure.  So, my dear sweet Babs, why did you goad me into an argument today?”

With her head still buried in my chest and squeezing me even tighter, Babs said, “I wanted to feel good because you saw me.  I wanted to be seen.  Then, when you saw me, I forgot what I wanted to ask.  Now, I remember.  When we get married…  You have not proposed, but I doubt if you would mislead me by asking me to buy a wedding dress.  We will be asked to do some dances.  Sure, we could sway back and forth.  We are not spring chickens like most brides and grooms, but we could learn some dance steps.  I hear there is a young couple who teach classes at the community center.  They are teaching swing dancing.  That can get rather physical, but I think they teach slow dancing too.  Can we take a few lessons so that we do not look stupid or foolish, since you started with those terms in this Bible study?”

“Okay, Babs,” I said, “The young Babs got me onto the dance floor.  I was not very good, but we enjoyed it.  Anything.  Just request that they do not play I Wish I Were in Love Again.”

Babs asked, “Why not?”

I sighed, “There is a line in the lyrics about ‘the conversation with the flying plates’.”

Babs purred, “Don’t give me ideas, Harold.”  And she began to giggle.  Then, she started humming the tune.  She knew the song.  She knew the lyrics about flying plates.  Had she hoodwinked me into an argument, just to get me to agree to some dance lessons?  Or was she simply looking for some attention?  As she said, she wanted to be seen.

Credits

All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife.  We would talk about anything and everything.  And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.

My wife was an extreme extrovert.  Her energy level drained when she was alone, and she felt alone if I was not engaged in the activity in which she was engaged.  She would often say something horribly stupid when my head was buried in the computer screen or a videogame or reading a book.  She might say that the sky is a beautiful shade of brown today.  I would stop what I was doing and look outside.  Not a cloud in the sky.  The sky was the bluest blue you could ever imagine.  And then the fight started.  She had a totally indefensible position, but she knew I had a problem with always having to be right.  She goaded and goaded until we were both exhausted.  And for the most part, I never understood that she needed human contact.  We would hug after the argument was over, with me wondering why on earth the argument had ever gotten started.  But, attention is attention, even when a bit angry.  And argument to her was just a heated conversation and she loved to converse.  And as the lyrics of the aforementioned song goes:

“… The lovely loving and the hateful hates,
The conversation with the flying plates,
I wish I were in love again!

No more pain,
No more strain,
Now I’m sane – but
I would rather be gaga! …”

• Lorenz Hart, I Wish I Were in Love Again

And, in a way, I miss those arguments.

I have been struggling to find reasons for Babs and Harold to have a conversation over this or that.  Once I have the conversation topic, it goes in the direction that I am led, often not what I was thinking in the beginning.  I finally had the lightbulb come on.  Babs and Harold had never quarreled.  I wrote the entire story before I realized that my wife and I had that same argument.  I felt that my wife should say the words “come here, please,” but she felt calling my name was sufficient.  She called my name to get eye contact, sometimes with no additional request, but I was in the far side of the house on another floor of the house, just for her to call my name and say nothing more, just because she wanted to see my face.  And the entire argument above had been written before I remembered how she would make a stupid statement to start an argument, just so that I would spend time with her.  This was a fun conversation to write, but the lyrics of the Rodgers and Hart song are ringing in my ears.  I would rather be gaga at the moment.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.