Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.

• Genesis 24:22

Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother.

• Genesis 24:53

Then Rachel and Leah replied, “Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father’s estate? Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.”
Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan.

• Genesis 31:14-18

Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great as you like, and I’ll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the young woman as my wife.”

• Genesis 34:12

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.  If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

• Exodus 22:16-17

Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.

• 1 Samuel 18:25

Boilerplate

I’m Harold Dykstra.  I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story.  My time is well spent.  A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel.  I did not know she was an angel at the time.  The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone.  And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy.  She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others.  She changed my life.

In her leaving, she said someone would come.  I had thought that was Jesus, in His second coming, but a new Babs, a little older, the model for the posable action figure arrived.  While I had no desire to start over with romance, Morrie helped her move in, thinking she was the other Babs who had returned.

This Week’s Question

Last week, Babs asked if being patriotic was a sin.  And then while the fireworks were going off, I proposed and she accepted.  We are looking at St. Patrick’s Day of next year – her little joke.

But this week, she was using a measuring tape on everything in my bedroom.  She was up to something.

“Babs?” I asked, “What are you doing?”

Babs scrunched her nose, “I am sorry to tell you this, Harold.  This bedroom ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

I laughed, “The last time I heard that line, the two combatants were next seen standing off against each other to see who could draw faster.”

Babs sighed, “It does you know good to draw faster if you can’t hit the target, cowboy.”

I snickered, “Oh, so I am the cowboy, and you are the skilled gunslinger.  Have you ever drawn a six-shooter in a gunfight before?”

She nodded, “In one of my movies.  It was a dream sequence.  I stared down a man.  Neither of us had any clothes on, but we both wore our holsters on our hips.  I said the line.  He drew first, but his shot went wild.  I shot him twice in the chest.  I walked up to him and looked down at him as he bled out.  The last line of the movie was me saying, ‘You were good, but you needed better aim.’  Then the other ladies, all wearing saloon dance costumes, came out to join me, and we all walked into the sunset together.”  Then she grinned, “You wouldn’t have to ask all these questions if you would simply look at my old films.”

I shook my head, “No, I guess not.  I haven’t seen any of those films, so I doubt if seeing them now would do much good.  Besides, I will get to see the real thing soon enough.”

Babs put her arms around me and hugged me tight.  “Harold, why don’t we forget about making my stuff fit in this room, and just go to bed right now?”

I laughed, “Two things, Babs.  One, who said anything about your stuff moving into this room?  And two, saying ‘yes’ is not the same as saying ‘I do.’

Babs growled, “I do.  I do.  So, there!”

I moaned, “In front of a preacher and witnesses.”

Babs huffed, “Okay, I’ll call our son-in-law.  I’ll tell him ‘I do,’ and then they can all watch while I rip your clothes off.  You know.  I do not know if I have ever made love to a man without someone watching.  I mean, a lot of people watching.”

I chuckled, “You never have.  God was always watching, and that is why we are going to wait until our wedding night.  It was your idea from the start.”

Babs sighed, “But when I said ‘yes’ last week, I wanted it right then.  And now, the wedding dress is months away, and I did not go crazy with embellishments, or it would be longer.  This is driving me about as crazy as you taking for ever to get down on one knee.  And I heard something pop when you got back up.  Are you going to be alright?”

I smiled, “It took you a week to acknowledge that little pop, but I love you anyway, Babs.  It does that occasionally.  I am fine.”

Babs scrunched her nose, “I thought you might moan and groan when you got out of bed the next morning.  That’s why I was in the kitchen so early – to see if you could even get out of bed, you old man.”

I snickered, “Just wait until you have another ten years on you, young lady.”

Babs laughed, “What does it feel like, robbing the cradle?”

I shrugged, “I tell you if I live that long.”

Babs growled, “Don’t you talk like that!  I’ll have to go out romancing somebody else.  You were tough enough.  Who knows what might happen!”

I huffed, “What are you talking about, Babs?  We have not even negotiated the dowry yet.”

Babs released the hug and guided me to the kitchen table.  “Okay, Harold.  What transactions have to take place for a proper biblical wedding?  What is a bride-price and what is a dowry? And why?”

I shrugged, “You have blind-sided me before.  Why not?  The Bible may not say much about the why, but there are a few references.  I don’t know if the word ‘dowry’ is mentioned, but I know that bride-price is mentioned.  Some of it is status conscious, not very God-fearing in that regard.  In other words, can you afford my daughter?”

Babs asked, “Is that like what Abraham’s servant saw in Genesis 24?  Abraham’s servant gave gifts just to get a proper introduction to Rebekah, but then he showered Rebekah with more gifts and gifts to Rebekah’s mother and brother.  And that brother was Laban, the one who tricked and cheated Jacob.”

I nodded, “And I think that is why Laban set his bride-price for each of his daughters at seven years of labor.  Jacob was basically running away.  He had no gold to offer, but Laban had profited well when his sister went to the Promised Land, why not double up, literally, by tricking Jacob into marrying Leah first.  Get Jacob drunk.  Leah wears a veil, and he won’t notice.  Then Jacob does some sneaky stuff too.  But back to Rebekah.  Laban and his mother were assured that Abraham and Isaac were well off enough to care for Rebekah.  And Rebekah herself had enough to survive for a while if Isaac suddenly died.  People in those days might easily go off to war.  Isaac lived in a tent.  There is little protection if marauders came through.  But you can see how it works in reverse.  The bride’s parents want to ensure their daughter is well cared for, so they give a sizeable dowry for the man to take her as his wife.”

Babs nodded, “And then Shechem mentions both the bride-price and the gift.  Both were to go to Jacob, so neither were the dowry.”

I groaned, “That story is messy from the beginning.  Shechem and his family were killed by a ruse perpetrated by Simeon and Levi.  Shechem could have given this gift out of guilt for having raped Dinah.  Then again, Shechem may have not considered it rape, and he really wanted Dinah.  He was thinking, at any price, but he did not know that the price would be his death.  Yet, a lot of people go to this verse for their biblical reason for a dowry.  But it is in the wrong direction, groom to bride’s father instead of bride to groom’s father to ensure the welfare of their daughter.  Strange how people take things totally out of context.”

Babs nodded, “Like in Genesis 38 when Tamar goes from one member of Judah’s family to the next in order to get pregnant.  That was a pagan custom.”

I smiled, “Just like Shechem’s offered bride-price, another pagan custom.  But as for the firstborn dying before providing a male heir, that was required in Deuteronomy 25.  But there was a special reason for that.  They were about to conquer the Promised Land, and the land had to be divided accordingly.  Thus, the widow would marry the brother so that her first son would inherit what he would have inherited anyway if the first brother had lived.  And that does not apply to firstborn, any brothers still living together.  But nothing about a dowry or bride-price that I can find in Levitical Law”

Babs then asks, “So, that leaves us with Exodus 22 when someone who basically rapes a virgin.  If he pays the bride-price, he can take her as his wife.  But he must pay the bride-price even if he does not marry her.”

I nodded, “Yes, dear, that does not prescribe it by Levitical Law, but it accepts it as a normal practice that must be adhered to.  In those days, the land went from father to son.  Thus, the sons lived nearby.  These days, families can spread all over the country.  Inheriting a rundown farm three states over might be more of a liability than an assurance of prosperity for the family.”

Babs scrunched her nose, “So, I don’t get the bride-price?  Bummer.”

“But back to you making measurements and then saying this bedroom isn’t big enough for both of us,” I said, “What did you have in mind?  I am comfortable on my savings and social security, even though I took an early hit on that, but I do not think I can afford a house remodel.”

Babs sighed, “Too bad you got rid of the old portable wardrobe your wife had.”

I groaned, “You have been talking to Willie again.”

Babs giggled, “Your first wife was a clothes hound.  She filled the closet and the portable wardrobe.  Where did you put your clothing?”

I sighed, “In the hall closet, and until she went on the road with me, she let me have a few inches on the clothing rod for my jackets and suits.  Otherwise, I was in a suitcase almost all the time.  But I do not need much in the clothing department.  We only go out for food banks and church.  Then there is the advertisements for FHAT (Feeding the Homeless At Tracy), but those meetings are few and far between now.  Maybe donations can be boosted with another campaign a year from now.  But since you get your clothing out of 70-year-old LIFE magazines, all primary and secondary colors.  How much do you need?”

She placed her arms akimbo.  “Look at this body, Harold.  Do you think I can get away with about ten dresses?  There are four seasons.  That is two and a half dresses per season.  And besides, I will need a chest of drawers just for my lingerie.”

I moaned, “I know that most of what you obtained in your old employment are still in boxes, but that surely isn’t a lot of drawer space.”

Babs pulled out a skimpy lacey thing and she stretched it a little to show me what it was.  “This is called invisible underwear.  I got this from Gwen Quinn, and she says there is a lot more to come.  The fashion designer that is doing my wedding dress knows that you are an engineer who is retired, and you work at food banks.  She is thinking something like this with produce all over it, fake stuff, not edible, but that is an idea.  You pull a tab here or there, depending on how … ummm  … hungry you are.  Maybe another one with dry goods, a third with pictures of canned goods.”

“Oh, Babs, you do realize that I am not as young as you are.  Underwear that requires assembly and disassembly.  How can I maintain my interest and stamina?”

Babs wiggled her hips and used her invisible underwear like a slingshot and the garment flew onto the bed.  Babs giggled, “With these curves, buddy boy, you will be interested.  If we need medication for the stamina, we’ll cross that bridge when we need to.  Thanks for the Bible study.  I am going upstairs to take a bubble bath.”

As she walked past me and I got another whiff of her perfume, and a look at her dangerous curves, appropriately dressed, I muttered, “And I think I will go take a shower, a cold one.  I wouldn’t want your bubble bath to be deprived of hot water.”

Without turning around, Babs said, “Yeah, right!” And she giggled as she left the room for her apartment upstairs.  I was thinking of getting a calendar and start striking off the days.  And I had a feeling that the cold showers were going to be nearly a daily thing.

And Babs just thinks there is no bride-price.  I will be paying daily, and loving her all the more.

Credits

All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife.  We would talk about anything and everything.  And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.

My wife never threw away any clothing.  Her size changed, so she could not wear everything that she had, but in the house that I live in now, she had three closets for her clothing and a portable wardrobe that held enough for two more closets full.  She had winter and summer clothing that she swapped twice a year to keep one closet with her current attire.  I had one closet, and two thirds of the closet was stuff that I had not put on the porch for the charity to pick up.  Men are simple.  Cover the right places and you’re fine.  Women…  Forget it.  If I said anything at this point, it would prove that in nearly 50 years of marriage, I still do not know anything about women.

And I got no dowry nor did my parents help with a bride-price.  We were in debt, dependent on the next paycheck for most of our married lives.  I cannot blame my father-in-law.  He had nine children and if he paid the dowry for the eldest daughter, he’d be broke with the last three girls.  But his wallet was considerably looser in his pocket when the last three daughters got married.  I guess he could see light at the end of the tunnel by then.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.