Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I am Mashie Niblick.  I am presently employed as the greenskeeper of the Hoity Toity Golf Club in the big city of Tracy. My wife, Pauline, is the busy one in the family.  Each month, she gets a secret package from people in DC to decipher, and she creates new means of coding messages.  Then, she is a professor at T.R.U.S.T. in a department called Kinesiological Psychology, which means part of her time is using that brand of therapy.  When it comes to the university’s athletes, she focuses on individual sports like tennis and golf, but she is also a full-time Mommie.  Don’t fuss about the spelling.  She is in a Mommie Club, and they spell it that way.

Since it was summer, our calendar was finally open until Jacob and Dinah came to visit with a coded message from their son, Frankie.  It took Sophia, the head of the codebreaker team, to solve the code, which left us, Sophie and Blaise, the Levys, and Elroy and Irusya travelling to Europe for a little vacation.  Emmett Dalton was added to babysit.  If everything went well, Pauline and I wanted to do some more golfing in Scotland.

I had a well-trained group of operatives who were ready to storm an apartment to retrieve Jacob and Dinah Levy’s elder son Frankie, but we were backup muscle.  Since I had time on my hands, I pondered the concept of the point of view.  If called upon, my operatives would storm into an apartment, breaking down the door and neutralizing all the thugs and lowlifes that were there except for the package, the aforementioned Frankie.  But, if I were one of the people guarding Frankie, preventing his rescue, they would consider themselves the operatives, and I was the lowlife thug breaking their door and knocking them on the head.  Funny how the roles are reversed from a different perspective.

But so that we did not get into trouble with the local police, we set up a contact with our embassy in Vilnius, Lithuania.  Watching us, we have a legal observer from the embassy and a Lithuanian police official that we could trust.  Our observers that have been watching the apartment from a safe distance have taken photos of all the “thugs” and all but one has an active arrest warrant for one thing or another.  They are thinking that the unknown potential “thug” is the interpreter to communicate with Frankie.  But we are thinking that we might not get any of the “thugs” to crack, and they are all hired by person or persons unknown.  All Dinah and Jacob want is their son’s safety.  Our wonderful government has left the position of Hugh McAdoo open, thus Jacob could authorize this as official head of the organization, but he chose to remain semi anonymous and let the Rogue’s Scholars be the official leaders of the operation.  I don’t even think the big bosses in Washington know that a sixteen-year-old girl was leading the operation, with sufficiently experienced operatives who were well-trained approving her plan.

But since my wife has a more active role in this caper, I better get to the real story.

Pauline and Blaise were going through the procedure that Sophia had developed.  Blaise said, “I installed the Ready App on your phone.  To confirm we are communicating, press the ready button.”  She did so. “See, the green light above my trigger button.  That says that I can press the button.  Switch off the Ready button.  Do not press the button until you are at least in the hallway near the door.  What if they have a chain on the door?”

Pauline said, “I have a couple of tools for that.  If they have three or four, it would be easier to ask our goons to break the door.  Once I hear the bodies inside the apartment hit the floor, I will have their door open in less than a minute.  You say Margie was out for fifteen minutes.  And then she did not have her wits about her for another five minutes.  We’ll have them gagged and in cuffs within a couple of minutes.  Do you have them targeted?”

I thought, “Goons.  Is a goon someone that is universally a goon regardless of point of view?  Something else to ponder until the time comes to go into action.”

Blaise said, “I have everyone targeted except one.  He must be out running an errand.  We’ll institute plan B with the boss’ approval.”

Sophie said, “That’s the plan.  The two local Lithuanian spies on the team will hang out at the entrances to the hallway.  They’ll use a stun gun to subdue the unaccounted-for thug.  Mashie. Is the team ready and geared up?”

I hesitated for just a second.  Sophie called the bad guy a thug, so we were still the good guys.  “Yeah.  We have our local agents, armed to the teeth, but we want this to not turn into a lethal engagement.  We have two medics, as per your orders.  If the thugs are standing, they could be injured simply by becoming unconscious and falling to the floor.  Once they have stopped bleeding, if any, they will see to the needs of the package.  In the meantime, Pauline will confirm it is Frankie by facial recognition.  And you will give a second confirmation that we have the right package.  But you only come onto the floor after all is secure.  They should not have any explosive ordinance.  The sniffers have not detected anything other than they are well armed.  If they are out cold, we just use the gags and cuffs.  We leave a couple of people with the Lithuanian policeman to wait for the local police after the package is a safe distance away.”

Sophie said, “Blaise, I stay here with you.  When you get the ready signal from Pauline, you press the button.  No delays.  Are you sure you can keep everyone targeted?”

Blaise said, “The targeting we did multiple human tests on, and the only time I dropped someone was when you were doing a square dance, and everyone was spinning and changing partners.  There is one guy walking from one window to the next, looking out the windows.  A second thug has been getting drinks and snacks for the others.  That may be the unknown guy.  With that little bit of exchanging positions, I am locked and loaded.”

Pauline nodded.  She left the van, and I joined my team in the alley, and we followed her.  The two locals, dressed like locals, stopped in the stairwells.  Everyone else on the team was in full black gear, helmets with balaclava underneath only showing the eyes, bulletproof vests and as much armor as we could wear.  Pauline pressed the button on her app.  We heard a couple of thuds inside.  We expected no more since everyone else was sitting down.  Pauline hit a snag with one of those chain type things, but a European design.  Her snazzy tool got that out of the way.  We were subduing the assailants within a minute.  Sophie started to approach, but she saw the last thug walk into the building.  She delayed long enough for the local operatives to do their job.  She saw how they did it.  Our local person waved to the thug, the thug walked past, not suspecting anything.  Then our guy hit them with the stun gun on the back of the neck and the thug was down.  Our guy was cool as a cucumber.

Pauline, in full gear, walked into the room where Frankie was.  She pulled out her phone and took a picture of Frankie.

Frankie asked, “Who are you?”

Pauline started to laugh.  She pulled off her helmet and balaclava.  “I should have made introductions.” She smiled at him, “We’re the good guys.  In a few seconds, my phone is going to confirm you are who we came for.  Yes!  You are safe, Frankie.  We are going to make sure you can travel.  We have a black uniform for you to wear.  And then, we will be off to the airport.  Oops!  I forgot.  We need double confirmation.  Boss!  We’re in here.”

Sophie entered.  With her smaller size, Frankie looked confused.  “What is a little girl doing as the boss?”

Sophie said, “Your father wanted to maintain a safe distance.  The ransom was just a ruse to get him into the line of fire.  He and your mother and my boyfriend are babysitting the Niblicks’ children, and this operation is being run by the Rogue’s Scholars.  We’re a think tank.”

Frankie said, “But you are just a girl.”

Pauline said, “She can turn you into a pretzel if she wanted.  And she runs her own private detective business with bodyguard duties extra.  You could not be in better hands.  Besides, I kind of half decoded your cypher, but Soap got the rest.  We would not be here if she had not decoded the message and caught the light just right to see your artwork.”

Sophie said, “And this is the package, Pauline.

Frankie sighed, “Thanks for that.  I’m shackled so that I can barely move.  They unlock me for me to hobble to the bathroom.”

Pauline laughed, “You haven’t tried moving, have you?  You are free to change clothes.  I am the one who unlocked the door without a key.  The shackles were child’s play.”

Sophie said, “Daddy has finally agreed to teach me the lock picking and safe cracking skills.  I can’t wait.”

Frankie said, “This is all so unreal.”

The last thug had been dragged into the apartment, and he started to thrash around.  Pauline huffed and ran into the living room and did her little “massage” technique.  She told the local people who had been holding him down that they had thirty minutes before he would wake up.  Now, the rest of the team was “stunned.”

In case the thugs had a watching team in another apartment, we all filed out in full uniform with Frankie in the middle.  With a few staying back to wait for the police, it would look like a changing of the guard.

Frankie did not say much, but Pauline kept asking him questions.  The Levys were at a safehouse in Scotland.  They were there with Emmett Dalton, our children Baffy and Andrew, Elroy and Irusya, and a medical team to check Frankie out thoroughly.  That would give Pauline and I enough time to play some golf.  We would have Sophie as an extra babysitter, but she got freaked out when Andrew rooted her breasts when she held him.  The first time, she asked what he was doing.  Pauline said that it was the “rooting reflex.”  This got Emmett singing, “Stand up and cheer. For Andrew found another nipple.”  Sophie wanted me to slap him because Andrew had not yet found the nipple.  He was just hard on the job to find it.  She threatened Emmett if “he” ever started rooting, she’d sock him.

Pauline told the Levys that her evaluation of Frankie’s mental wellbeing was not complete when we arrived.  Frankie was too distracted.  He did not want to talk.  He refused eye contact for the most part.

Dinah asked the next morning, “Frankie, I want to apologize for being such a terrible mother.”

Frankie shook his head, “No, Mom, that’s not necessary.  We liked living with your parents, and we did not have to change schools.  I need to apologize to you.”  Dinah shook her head.  “No, Mom, this business would not have been necessary if I was not being such a hypocrite.  I always looked down on you for cheating on Dad, but once we made the decision to stay with Grandma and Granddad permanently, Granddad hired two maids.  They had green cards, but the rest was kind of fishy.  When I turned fifteen, the Columbian maid slept with me.  Then the Thai maid slept with me.  Freddie got the same treatment when he turned fifteen.  Granddad set up my future wife, Blanche, as a good potential wife girlfriend.  Within a month, we were sleeping together.  Blanche’s parents had political ties.  When we got married, Granddad got the connections he wanted, and Blanche and I agreed to an open marriage.  We’ve grown to like each other since then.”

Dinah had tears in her eyes, “You don’t have to confess this, Frankie.”

Frankie said, “But I do.  I was lured to that house by my supplier who had set me up with three girls.  I had fun with all three of them and fell asleep on the bed.  The next morning, I was surrounded by thugs, and I was in shackles.  I had ignored all the protocols.  I thought I was invincible, and they were after Dad, to kill him.  I heard that much.  They knew I had no secrets to share.  They beat me because I did not cooperate with them.  The dots on the letter, trying to send you a message that Freddie could solve, got me the worst of the beatings.  Once the leader of the group had mutilated the paper, I did not think anyone could decipher the code.”

Dinah laughed, “I heard you did not like being rescued by a teenaged girl, but she was the one that broke the code.  Freddie looked at it and shook his head.  He gave little to no effort at trying, but Sophie grew up decoding messages.  She is better than anyone we ever had working for the company.  And she is tough as nails.  She protects her girlfriend who sings while Emmett plays the saxophone.  They are quite the trio.  But as for your father and I, the Niblicks have been a great influence on us, that and Sophie’s parents.  We are now Christians, but we still keep many Jewish traditions.  I wish you would come visit.  We are very different people now.”

Frankie nodded, “I think my European deal making is over.  I have still had my hand in the architecture game.  I will have to sit down with Blanche and the children.  We might not move to Tracy, but close enough that the children can get to know you.”

Dinah nearly floated out of the room.  With that ice breaker, Pauline got cooperation out of Frankie, and she cleared him with no problem.

Being contract personnel, Pauline and I were released from our duties.  We had played Muirfield and Prestwick, but then we were going to play Carnoustie on the same day that we planned to fly to a music festival in Newton Stewart – Minnigaff.  We would only go there for one concert and then play Royal Liverpool before visiting the Isle of Man on our way to Royal Portrush for the Open.  Elroy was not in the mood to watch the Open Championship.  He was going to take that week to take Irusya back to Latvia to visit a variety of people, as many of the families of people from Latvia at Lily the Pink as possible in just a couple of days.  Her parents were supposedly setting up the visit by calling the others and meeting at a neutral site.  They had no one visit for the wedding, so Elroy would be meeting his in-laws for the first time.

While Elroy and Irusya were gone, a bodyguard from Edinburgh would be with the Levys, but Sophia and Emmett would be there too.

But an odd thing happened when we arrived at Carnoustie.  We were told that another couple from the USA would be joining us.  This was not unusual, but when Carla and Brenton Munsford walked up, they were just as shocked as we were.  We had last seen them at their wedding.  We regularly attend the First-Third.  We volunteered to help with the reception.  And we were friends of Sophie and Blaise.  But the trip to Lithuania and Scotland was not even a thought we had last seen the Munsfords.

I offered, “We are here to compare notes on greens keeping, and we brought a few friends along.  The Dala aircraft was tied up with the MacDougall’s family reunion, so we borrowed another jet.  What are you doing here?”

Carla laughed, “We are here playing golf.  My folks and Brenton’s offered a paid trip to Scotland and England to play as many courses as possible.  I know.  I know.  People who return from their honeymoon are supposed to be pasty and pale, but that is a shade that I have never been able to pull off.”  Pauline and I noted that she was darker than her usual mocha, so they must have been playing a lot of golf.

Pauline suggested, “After the round of golf today, would you like to go to the other side of the island to a special music concert?  Maybe we can change our reservation of two tee times at Royal Liverpool to four.”  They were both excited about that.  “Oh, and Emmett and Sophia are babysitting our children.  They will be with us tonight also.”

Brenton said, “It pays having friends who work for some of the richest people in Tracy, I suppose.”

I huffed, “We have only got time for four rounds of golf before the Open Championship.  You have been playing golf for a month.  I do not think your collective parents are hurting.”

Brenton rubbed his chin, “I guess not, but we weren’t playing golf all the time we were here.”

Carla snickered, “We toured a couple of castles, too.”

All four of us laughed at that ruse.

And by the way, Carla won the round, Brenton second, Pauline third, and I had the pleasure of visiting a few pot bunkers.  I think Carla was going to try for golf and softball at T.R.U.S.T.  But Brenton would have won the round if he had not tried to hit long drives.  He was learning that links golf was best played between the ears, planning each shot, rather than trying to drive past all the trouble.

The Munsfords did not say a word when a black helicopter picked us up.  Sophia, Emmett, Baffy, and Andrew were already on board.  Elroy would bring the Levys to Royal Liverpool before he and Irusya left for Latvia.  Sophie and Emmett would miss the Open Championship, having to babysit the package and guarding Jacob and Dinah.  The Munsfords were going to Royal Lytham and St. Annes next, I think.

But then with everyone reunited in Belfast, Northern Ireland, we all returned home.

Credits

The Perils of Pauline was a movie serial started in 1914. It defined many serials that followed, including the Perils of Pauline “moment,” the cliffhanger that caused you to return to the theater for the next installment.

Andrew Niblick has a full name of St. Andrews Niblick.  They were thinking if they had more children they would name them Troon and Turnberry.  They had played those courses on previous visits.  Now they have the option of Muirfield, Prestwick, Carnoustie and Liverpool.  Turnberry, last hosting in 2009, is not presently in the Open rotation.  Prestwick has not been in the rotation for decades but was the location of the first Open in 1860.