Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

Things were back to normal.  Missy being back meant that the security force was not two people down.  Angela was a dear child of God, and anyone that is murdered in that fashion is a great loss.  But security at Lily the Pink was calming down and I had to hand it to Julia in that once she cleared the cobwebs from her memories, she gave Dev and Poached the information they needed to close the case.  She worked double her usual hours to ensure everyone on all shifts had the counseling they needed, since one of their own had died.  Missy being back, relieved Julia of the need for all the overtime, and it seemed things were settling down.

Menzie being back, along with Emmett, meant that the duo of Emmett and Menzie practicing in the Crystal Mountain put smiles on everyone’s faces, especially when they practiced during shift change – on purpose to get an audience, I think.

Angus preferred the quieter places to practice his pipes or to give Missy, and a few others, private lessons.  He loved going from the poultry area to the water treatment plant to the waterfall to illustrate that little changes in temperature and moisture could have an effect on the drones.  He says that bagpipes were made for high humidity, but the drones deepen their tone as humidity increases.  What sounds good near the waterfall may be offkey with a drier humidity, and due to the various things that go on at Lily the Pink, he loved getting his students used to retuning their drones, something he could not naturally do in the university classrooms.

Just walking around and hearing the sounds of music and laughter brightened my spirits.

But as I thought about how I was made a prisoner in my own home, I envied our two groups who went for extended vacations in Scotland, with Sophie’s rescue crew visiting Lithuania and Elroy and Irusya visiting Latvia.  And the recent graduates from high school, the rich kids that come to Jemima’s Sunday school class, Brenton and Carla Munsford, are newlyweds who are still on an “all Summer” golfing honeymoon in Scotland.  I wonder what I am doing wrong.

Scrammie, my name for my husband Scrambled Yeggs, would come by near the end of my daily open door policy time.  He knew that I was the one who needed counseling.

One day, I pulled the other visitor chair next to the one where he was seated.  We held hands.

I looked him in the eyes and said, “Scrammie, I have taken a day trip to see the waterfalls along the Columbia River Gorge.  We went to Tommie Tat’s wedding in the Colorado Rockies.  We went to the Pacific Shores of Oregon for Jayne’s wedding.  But one thing that I have never done in my entire life is take a vacation.  For nearly three decades, I was never allowed to leave the building.  Then, with Zuzka and her big ideas, and then with our partnership with Sam Hill of Portland, Oregon, we have not had a moment when I could take a breath.  Before I retire and have nothing but time on my hands, I want to know what a vacation is.”

Scrammie said, “Thank you, Lord.  My prayer has been answered.  Sweetie, I was afraid we would have to take you by force.  We are leaving tomorrow morning, maybe before dawn.  We aren’t really on a clock, but I want us to be somewhere special at dusk tomorrow.”

I let go of his hand.  “What!?  You were going to take me by force?  You did not consult me as to where we are going?  Who is this who is doing this and what do you mean by we?”

Scrammie said, “I am blessed with a wife who is not very curious.  I am also blessed by working about as far away and still be on the Lily the Pink campus.  My crew have known for a couple of weeks.  Mabel, Otto, and Tom are each expanding their hours to cover what I did, and they have cross trained a couple of people to run the registers and phones.  Gwen and Grannie Fannie have spent some time today packing suitcases.”

I interrupted, “Are they going along on our little getaway?  How is it then a getaway?”

Scrammie sighed, “Gwen, no, she will run the place and No More (Norene Moore) and Anna Hill will run their plants through the president instead of the CEO for all issues.  Grannie will come along.  If we go into California, which I doubt, I will need the extra commercial driver’s license, but I do not wish to pay the added insurance fees.  Besides, removing Grannie Fannie from Kanok and Joon would be like a death sentence for her.  And yes, we are taking the children.  We may all have our own corners of this enterprise, but we are family.  And since we will be at the Columbia River Area Gorge Site (CRAGS) when Anna makes a big announcement, the CEO being there will make it special.”

I huffed, “What big announcement?  Is she pregnant?  Is Jayne pregnant?  Both of them?!”

Scrammie laughed, “How about our wonderful Nina talking to OSHA and Washington’s WISHA?  She invited them to inspect the operations to do a safety inspection a few months ago.  There were things that could be improved, and Nina is a force not to be reckoned with.  She got those things done in the allowed timeframe and their reinspection coincided with the carbon recovery system going online.  The governor and a lot of others will be at the official ribbon cutting, although the carbon recovery is already in operation.  And they want you to help the governor cut the ribbon.  Shoot, with all the trees Lily the Pink has planted there, we were already readjusting the natural balance.  The invitation for inspection brings with it benefits of cheaper insurance rates.  I think we should follow their lead at the mother ship, right here.  Maybe get Tammie Thompson on that.  Something solid for her to learn as she goes.  Oddly, Nina’s serious accident is our last lost workday accident here.  So, we are taking our entire family including Grannie Fannie and Zuzka with Kully, since Zuzka had to approve the last of the punch list items before the contractor can get paid.  The last things have all been minor, not affecting operation, but with Zuzka being in the last trimester and then delivering your second grandchild, she has not been able to get up there.  Do not worry.  We are still within the window, so there will not be additional fees applied for late payment.”

I sighed, “So this is a business trip that is masquerading as a vacation.”

Gwen burst into the room.  “I have your suitcase packed and this is not a business trip.  You could have flown up there the day of the ribbon cutting.  I have everything under control except for the bakery, and Mabel has told me to stay out of her kitchen.”

Grannie Fannie came in with more suitcases for each of the children and herself.  “This is definitely a vacation.  Scrambled and I will do most of the driving, but Zuzka can drive too.  Our SUV monster is ready, eight seats and child seats in four of those spaces.  One week of clothing for each of us, so do not take a ton of makeup, Mommie Pinkie.  Jim Kaiser and Easter Yeggs stretched the monster for more luggage space, but we cannot get carried away.”

And with that, the alarm went off early the next morning.  Grannie Fannie and Scrammie were in the front seat.  I was sitting in the middle row with Kanok (almost three) and Joon (one and a half).  And Zuzka was in the back row with the babies, her Olu Kuteni (Kully) just weeks old, and Pink Sparkle (one year old).

When we stopped that afternoon at the New Mexico: Texas border, Scrambled pointed to the mountains.  “We are going to be going through those mountains tomorrow night.  Those are the Sangre de Cristo Mountains.”

Kanok asked, “Can we go inside them?”

Scrammie said, “This is not the Crystal Mountain, Kanok.  Zuzka made the Crystal Mountain, she and her contractors.  These mountains were made by God.  They are made of solid rock.  There may be springs of water, and there might be caves, but we will leave those things to the experts. I don’t know if we will go through any tunnels tomorrow, but we will soon enough, but I wanted to take you to a smaller place where we can go inside the rocks.”

Kanok gasped, “Where is that?”

Scrammie said, “Our destination is Carlsbad.”

Kanok said, “Karl isn’t bad.  He’s just a baby!”

Grannie Fannie laughed, “No, Kanok, we are going to a place called the Carlsbad Caverns.  We are going inside the mountain, but do not expect it to look like the Crystal Mountain.  And there won’t be a swimming pool and water slide inside.  But we need to get back on the road.  If we get there by dusk to one small place in the park, we can see the bats fly out of the cavern.  Now, that will be exciting!”

And we got there on time.  The peak show is from August to September, but it was still impressive.  Kanok was excited, and Joon, who chooses what words he wants to learn next, said, “Wow!”

In one week’s time, we went from Carlsbad to the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Zion National Parks.  We saw the Great Salt Lake.  We saw where they drove the golden spike.  We bought some potatoes in Idaho.  And we made it to the CRAGS on time.  We even toured the crag where Wyatt and Jayne were building their dream home next to the orchard where they had a view of Mount Hood, the high desert, and the Columbia River Gorge far below, and they could almost pick apples from their front porch.  But then the sheriff of the county and the head of CRAGS security would have to arrest each other since those apples were MINE!  Hey, I am still jealous that they have property only dreamed of on which to build a house, but they are a lovely couple, and I will hold them to the invitation of sitting in a rocking chair on their porch and seeing the beauty in every direction.  The perfection of the site for them is that it places him close to the sheriff’s office, and her close to CRAGS.  And I hope you don’t mind us calling the Washington state site CRAGS.

During the festivities, everything went smoothly, I bowed to Anna’s lead as she had a speech prepared for me, but I let her give the speech herself.  In a way, I was corporate oversight.  But then again, the crowd, having lived at the Tracy campus for a year, cheered me on when the governor and I cut the ribbon.  And there was another announcement in that Anna was pregnant again, due next February.

There was nearly an incident in the ensuing partying.  Grannie Fannie was herding the children: Kanok, Joon, Pink Sparkle, and Olu Kulteni (in a stroller) and also Anna’s three children: Resurrection (now being home schooled), Esther (just shy of her fourth birthday), and Timothy (2).  One of the Washington governor’s aides came over to presumably help, but he hit on Grannie.  She was flattered, but she turned him down.  I have a feeling she will remind me of how she is desired in the Great Northwest once we get home.

Our return trip will include Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, looking for buffalo in Custer State Park, South Dakota, the Badlands (unless Kanok throws a fit about the lands being ‘bad’), some shopping at the Mall of America, some cheese curd eating in Wisconsin and then the drive home.

But before we go home, we want to let the children play together.  One thing that we did not think about was how remote this county was and how few children were living there, but so far, only Anna Hill has children.  With Resurrection, he was far ahead of his requirements to complete first grade.  In starting a church at the cider house, some townspeople have joined and that includes some children near Resurrection’s and Esther’s ages.  For those who do not remember, Resurrection got his name by dying when born and then starting to breathe and have a heartbeat when they gave him to the mother to say goodbye.  Resurrection’s and Esther’s parents were pastors starting a missionary church who were killed by a raiding party.  Tyler Hill, Anna’s husband and our procurement manager, saved the children and Jochebed, but he was unable to save the children’s mother when they ran into the jungle.  Jochebed needs to visit, to see how the children have grown.  They do face time and Jochebed talks to them in French, but that is not quite the same.

I would write more about our adventures, but I have to go.  I am on vacation after all.  Think of it!  I am a grandmother twice over and this is my first ever vacation.  There were those three weeks in police protection at the state prison when I was not supervising cider operations at Lily the Pink, but that definitely does not count.

Wyatt and Jayne are treating us to a trip to see a waterfall, and we will be on horseback.  I have never done that before.  Gotta go!

Credits

My son might not think of his family time in Pennsylvania as “good memories,” but with his first job loss as a music teacher, he moved to PA to find work.  We had their one-year-old for most of that year.  He is now seventeen years old.  My three fond memories was that 1) if he was awake when I got home, he would hug the refrigerator door and beg me to cut him some cheese as I walked through the door (answer? – never could resist that one), 2) if he was asleep, I would awaken him and he would smile and do the Wiggles wiggling fingers routine – his favorite TV show at the time, and 3) his favorite word was “Wow!”

And requesting the state and federal Occupational Health and Safety inspectors to inspect your facility can have some positive impacts, but you better know that you are ready.

And I thought I would leave the connection to the name of Lily the Pink for another Pink Lady story.

At the time of this writing, the Scaffold continue to make appearances together, all three in their eighties.  Here is an early video recording of their version of Lily the Pink.  It is a bit hard to understand, a combination of British accent, British euphemisms, and such.

And the Irish Rovers covered this song with their own verses within months of the Scaffold making their version a number one hit song.  The Rovers are much more careful to enunciate their lyrics.