Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

We are Jemima and Easter Yeggs.  Lieutenant Yeggs wants his son to write these reports to keep in touch when we are out having our adventures, and Rev C.S.L., my Dad, doesn’t mind an update either.

This report starts before we left.  Dr. Kildare had a meeting with our expanded team.

Dr. Ellie said, “I am still the professor in charge of storm chasing.  I am letting Dr. Kildare take over this meeting.  When we get there, we will be three separate teams, and I agree with the divisions in personnel, although some may not like it.”

Dr. Kildare nodded, “Yes.  The Turtle Team will be missing the two Dr. Caseys, but you will also have Wilma and Arabella.  The point is that this is not much of a storm chase as it is observation of a hurricane coming on shore.  I have five hotel reservations.  When we get there, we will cancel the two that we do not use.  Each team will have a professor in charge, except for the Turtle Team.  For that team, Mary is in charge.  Each team will have an undergraduate, not counting the seasoned Turtle team members.  Those are Mitzi, Fred, and Wilma.”

There were snickers around the room.  Dr. Ellie said, “No!  Fred and Wilma do not have the last name of Flintstone, and if I gave them both that code name, it would be confusing.”

Dr. Kildare groaned, “No talk of code names.  I know that is part of the charm of the reality shows, but we are here to collect serious data.  And I want the data to include checking how the infants react, how the fourteen-year-olds react, and the college students that have not seen a hurricane up close before.  Yes, Joseline, you saw some nasty tornadoes and no hurricane, but you have been in this type of data collection before with a tropical storm.”

Wilma asked, “But this storm is four days out and it’s just a tropical storm.”

Dr. Kildare sighed, “And what is common among many of the strongest hurricanes that have hit the Gulf Coast?”

Easy said, “Three days before landfall, they were rated tropical storms.  Then the rapid intensification magic happened.”

Dr. Kildare nodded, “Thank you, Easy, although I might have not attributed anything to magic.  Yet, it is the reason we keep taking data.  The energy is in the water.  The Gulf water is hot and relatively shallow. But why not intensify earlier?  But we want some interesting personal fitness data.  How does a human react to the stress, excitement, and fear?  And I expect that we may get a lot of conflicting data.  Some of you here are obvious adrenaline junkies while I would love to know if Easy has ever gotten excited in his life.”

B.B. snickered, “Maybe his wedding night.”

I replied, “Nope.  He did amazing things, and I was all over the place, but he was cool even then.  A bit of a disappointment, actually.”

Dr. Kildare moaned, “We would be done now without the interruptions.  Where was I?  Okay, three vehicles, the seating capacities dictate the size of the team.  The Turtle carries seven: Easy, Stinker, B.B., No Joe, Wilma, Arabella, and Stormie.  In the borrowed Pink SUV from Lily the Pink: Mags Lothrop, me, Joseline Johnson, Mitzi, Michael Lothrop, and Misty Johnson.  And then in the Casey’s SUV: Ben and Ellie Casey, Fred, Michael Rowe Casey, and Joan Casey.  That splits up Michael and Arabella, but Michael will be with his parents while Arabella will be with friends.  The other Michael will be with his mother.  Each infant will be with the mother of that infant.  The only married person here that does not have her mate is Joseline.  Both you and your husband have gone on solo missions.  We do not intend on chasing any part of this storm with infants on board, but we have body suits for them in case something happens, and spare suits in case something happens to the suits.”

Amazon, Home Wrecker, and I made eye contact.  Amazon stuck her tongue out in that she was the only one who could not tell her husband, “It’s your turn to clean the mess.”

Home Wrecker took over. “Same data as last year.  Each hotel promises us to get access to good data vantage points both on the building and in the parking garage.  All rooms are on the second or third floors, none on the top floors.  Since we are staying at three hotels, we hope to get either side of the eye and one in the eye, but there could be shifts in direction at the last minute.  With this tropical storm that we think might rapidly intensify going relatively straight north, the Turtle team will see the greatest storm surge, but the Casey team might see the eye.  That is the one request that Dr. Kildare made that overruled me.  I wanted to be the furthest east, getting the roughest weather.  But, as Dr. Kildare said, part of this is how we react to the situation.  Each team will have a SAT phone: Dr. Kildare, B.B., and me.  Twice daily briefings, except as the storm approaches land, hourly updates: personal issues, facility issues, and basic data.  B.B., we will each have plenty of cameras.  I expect you will want interviews with everyone except for the infants.”

B.B. said, “A low-lighting camera on the infants since we might hope they sleep through it.  If they don’t we can video how the mother gets them calmed down when the mother may not be very calm themselves.”

Home Wrecker and I waved our hands.  We’d done it before, but Joseline had only seen a tropical storm in New Orleans when she and Kevin were on their honeymoon.  Maybe this one would not rapidly intensify, but then again, this was August.  Katrina and Camille come to mind.  But there was Celia and Allen before 2000, and Allison, Idalia, and Helene since then.

B.B. continued, “But we also want a proof positive that the absence of the three mothers from the Turtle television show segments was worth it.  We need baby pictures.  The moving kind, Stinker.”

I nodded.  “Having a side hustle of starting a photography business and staying close to home this past semester, I have been taking a lot of baby pictures of all three infants.  Maybe you can do a montage of each child, both stills and videos.  The storm reactions that we get may be due to age.  Stormie is eight months.  Misty is five months.  And Joan is three months.”

Dr. Kildare said, “That’s one thing we liked about having the infants along.  I paid for large suites so that we can have a workroom and a few bedrooms.  The singles will have to buddy up.  That’s why Michael Rowe Casey and Fred are together, and Arabella and Wilma.  Joseline and Misty can stay with Mitzi.  But I paid extra for these hotels to get the best accommodations that are safe and with elevated garages for the vehicles.  Now, for drivers.  No Joe has gotten his commercial driver’s license, and he is over 25 years old.  As a graduate assistant, B.B. can drive, but the main driver of the Turtle will be Easy.  We plan on driving for about eighteen hours tomorrow, so no macho long hauls, Easy.  Give Pastor Joseph plenty of miles.  Neither of the other vehicles requires a commercial driver’s license, but Mags has one and usually drives the stretch-six to church and back every Sunday.  I can relieve her or Joseline.  And the Caseys have to split their driving.  We don’t have time to put the others through the torture test that Easy took.”

Fred said, “I’m a good driver.  What kind of torture test?”

Easy shrugged, “The police academy obstacle course with police instructors chasing me, and at times I was making some of the corners with speed turns, but on a couple of occasions, on two wheels.”

Dr. Ben said, “I still think the two-wheel stuff was showing off.”

Easy smiled, “I had to show that if we ever got on two wheels, I knew how to control the center of gravity, but since then, we’ve made so many adjustments to the Turtle, it is very hard to get it on two wheels.  The key with driving the storm chase vehicle is that you must have great communication with the radar operator, and you must plan ahead.  The best chase is when you get close without needing to use evasive action.”

Dr. Kildare nodded, “That is always the goal, but in several driver’s that I have been in the car with, Easy is the best.  Maybe because his meteorological grades are the tops, if he and Jemima will ever decide when they are going to graduate.  They both have enough credits.”

I moaned, “We are thinking next Spring for both of mine and Easy’s meteorological.  He needs a few more credits in Mechanical Engineering that may be hard to get with him on the road so much.  But that only puts us four years into this thing with double majors.  And Dr. Kildare, did you say the Pink Stretch-Six?  That is nicknamed the party wagon.”

Dr. Kildare winked, “Mags has some medication that must be refrigerated.  We are not stocking the fridge with anything alcoholic.  But, as for your schooling, you two have been taking overloads every semester, even through the summer, testing out of classes, and all the online courses.  I do not know how you’ve done it.  But enough of idle chitchat.  Let’s get to bed early tonight, at least all drivers.  All vehicles have been serviced and topped off.  We do not awaken at six in the morning.  We leave then.  Use your calculators if you must do so, but account for how long it usually takes you to get ready.  We will be traveling all day, possibly past midnight.  Definitely past midnight since we will be advancing one time zone.  No need for primping, that applies to male and female team members.  We have arranged rooms at Lily the Pink so that we will caravan from there.  The Turtle in the lead.  Followed by the Caseys.  Followed by the Pink Party Wagon.  Each vehicle will peel off to their destination.  We communicate by cellphones to save on SAT call expenses, as long as we have cellphone signals.  That leaves B.B. on the live radar and I will be in contact with local meteorologists in the Florida panhandle to get the best estimates from the raw spaghetti data that the public rarely sees.”

With that, everyone headed for Lily the Pink.  The three vehicles were already parked in front of the building.  Of the eighteen teammates, ten lived in the main apartment building, and Aunt Pink arranged for guest rooms for everyone else.  Michael Rowe Casey commented that it would be strange not staying with the Evidents, but they came by the guest rooms to wish him well.  And from this point on, Michael Rowe Casey will be either Michael or his code name of “That’s My Boy.”  Michael Lothrop will be Mike, unless he gets a code name.

When we started, Arabella and Joseph put Stormie’s carrier between them.  B.B. took the radar station and she let Wilma have the video console which could switch to the radar or GPS screens easily.  B.B. wanted to be next to her husband, but since she had to communicate the radar to Dr. Kildare, she sacrificed, letting Wilma see what B.B. usually saw.  But putting Stormie in the middle gave Easy a good view through the rearview mirror.  In the front seat, I took some weather pictures.  You never know when you needed to give a high school group a quiz on what one type of cloud was or another.  With the sun a little higher in the sky, Joseph took over the driving and Easy and I sat in the back with Stormie.  Wilma sat in the front while Arabella had B.B. explaining everything about making videos.  I had already taught Arabella how to read the radar and split the screen to get GPS and radar together.

What we noticed about Wilma was that she was a college-aged Arabella.  We nicknamed her chatterbox, but the code name had to come from Dr. Ellie.  Besides talking a mile per minute, Wilma was often just as goofy as Arabella.  And the problem was that when one said something goofy, the other had to pile on.  And sadly, neither of them took a nap.  Being through this routine in the past, Easy got a good nap, and Stormie did too.  B.B. and I agreed, when we had a quiet moment out of reach of the other female ears, that Dr. Kildare had a sense of humor in us getting Wilma.  With all the inside Turtle cameras rolling, B.B. was going to have a lot of silliness to choose from, and we hadn’t really done anything yet.

As we approached our destination, Dr. Kildare announced that the storm was still tropical storm status and about two and a half days out.  It would be a while until the next updated cone of uncertainty.  But he had made his decision, he would peel off soon and drive to Pensacola, Florida.  The Caseys were going to Panama City, Florida, not the beach.  And Easy would go to Apalachicola, Florida.  The eye was expected to go over the Caseys.  The cone was not widely spread, so the weather patterns that were steering the hurricane were fairly stable.  One of us had a great chance of being in the eye.  If there was a widened eye replacement cycle, we might all see it.  The three towns are not too far apart.

We had a three-bedroom suite on the third floor.  Only the living room had balcony access, but the balcony was huge.  The front desk even allowed us roof access if we were tied off, and the experienced team members all had their uniforms with D-rings.  The next morning was when we set up equipment.  I taught Wilma and Arabella how to set everything up.  B.B. recorded the teaching sessions so that I could add to my grade school teaching videos.  We triple checked the bindings and the WIFI signals.  We were not going to have another near disaster like B.B. had on Galveston Island last year.  Without thinking, she opened the balcony door with hurricane force winds pounding us, so that one instrument could be tightened down.  It was a miracle that they got the door shut.  So, this year, we triple checked all the mountings.

To fast forward, Dr. Kildare did an excellent job of positioning us.  He got the lightest winds in Pensacola, and a beach view that had a lot of sand showing.  The Caseys had a chance, and the tenacity, to run outside when the eye was visible – some great images, photos and video.  And while they were doing that, the Turtle got pounded.  But in the process, we got a lot of useful data and instructive videos.  There were a lot of tense moments, especially with us six.  Stormie got fussy only because the storm did not want to pass over.  It was the normal feed me fussy, change my diaper fussy, quit looking at the computer and play with me fussy.

But before all that, there was one “incident” with each team worth talking about as we sat back waiting for the hurricane to hit the next morning.  The winds were picking up and it was raining, but not hurricane force yet.

At our location, we took the master bedroom because we had the baby.  The Jones, Mary and Joseph, were in one bedroom, and Wilma and Arabella were in the other.

I mentioned already that Wilma and Arabella fed off each other.  Since we had crashed onto the beds when we arrived late the night before and we worked all day getting the instruments in place, everyone was looking forward to a shower.

Wilma asked, “Arabella, do you want to flip for who takes a shower first?”

Fireball asked, “Flip what?  Do back flips?  Show the guys what they shouldn’t see by flipping our skirts?”  Note: they were wearing pants.

Wilma groaned, “No, a coin.  Never mind, you go first, but what are we going to do in our room once we ditch all these old folks?”

Fireball suggested, “Let’s get naked and go dancing in the dark.”

Wilma cackled, “Great idea!”

B.B. exploded, “Arabella Dalton!  You made a suggestion like that?!  Whose Sunday school class do you attend?”  By this point, Wilma was rolling with laughter.

Fireball was not deterred. “I don’t go to the same church you do.  You wouldn’t know her.”

B.B. growled, “You know who I mean.  We both attend her class.  And you have been having girl talks with Dr. Ellie since you were making those kinds of suggestions around your boyfriend, who happens to be her son.”

Fireball asked, “You are talking about Stinker?  That’s in Tracy.  We are in Florida and what happens in Florida…”

I finished her sentence, “… will be transmitted to the leader of T.R.U.S.T. storm chasing, namely Home Wrecker, who is your boyfriend’s mother.  And where did you get the idea of dancing in the dark naked?”

Fireball said, “Aunt Gwen.  She was maid of honor for a wedding, and she had no idea how to dance, so GrandPa had her get naked and they danced around the kitchen in the middle of the night.  That’s when they decided to get married.”

I groaned, “Fireball, that was for Aunt Pink’s wedding and that was supposed to be a secret.  Besides, that was three years ago.  You were not living there yet.  Who told you?”

Fireball shrugged, “I think it was Aunt Zuzka.  We were listening to Menzie and Em doing Dancing in the Dark.”

Wilma said, “That’s an old Bruce Springsteen hit.”

Fireball asked, ”Who’s he?  Menzie says she is trying to find her inner Sarah Vaughan or maybe Frank Sinatra.”

Wilma asked, “Who are they?”

B.B. groaned, “By the time they finish their comedy routine, the storm will have passed.  Stinker, can I use your shower?”  I nodded, after all, we had six people who needed showers and only two bathrooms.

When B.B. was in the shower and the shower was running, Belle said, “I am so glad she can’t hear us.  Menzie was also practicing a nice slow love song, ‘Have you met Miss Jones?’  I think it is for B.B.’s next birthday.”

Joseph said, “And keep it a secret, Belle.  I want to ask her to dance, and then Em will start playing.  I doubt if Mary knows the old tune, and ‘Miss Jones’ or ‘Mrs. Jones’ isn’t mentioned for a while.  I thought it would be romantic.  So, don’t spoil the surprise, kiddo!”

Belle saluted and giggled, “Yes, Sir!”  She then ran to claim the first shower.

Wilma asked, “Okay, I am confused.  How can GrandPa be married to Aunt Gwen?  Why do Easy and Stinker say ‘Aunt Pink’ while I have heard B.B. and Arabella both call her Mommie Pinkie?  And I know they aren’t sisters.”

Easy said, “Let me take this one, Sweetie.  Pink Lady Apple is married to my uncle, Scrambled Yeggs.  She is my aunt, but to Aunt Pink, everyone that lives and works on the Lily the Pink campus is family.  So, when Kanok was adopted and started calling her Mommie Tinkie, and then Mommie Pinkie, everyone except family calls her Mommie Pinkie.  Kanok could still remember her birth mother, so Aunt Pink insisted she was Mommie Pinkie to preserve Mommy as the name for Kanok’s birthmother, even though she spoke Thai.  Now, my great-grandfather is in his nineties and he married the Lily the Pink president.  Gwen Quinn was a gypsy hired by Red Delicious when Aunt Pink’s mother ran away after Pink’s high school graduation.  Gwen became Aunt Pink’s unofficial sister, and the two played with the recipe until they discovered Lily the Pink Cider.  So, sister’s of aunt’s are “aunt” just like sisters of ‘mommies.’  So, if you are around the Lily the Pink campus, if someone calls Aunt Pink anything other than ‘Mommie Pinkie,’ they are family.”

Wilma added, “So who are Menzie and Em?”

I asked, “You don’t know?  You haven’t been to the Snazzy Taz on the big ticket nights?”

Wilma groaned, “I am not old enough and I have not gotten a false ID yet, not that I ever will.  I think I have heard that it is Standing Room Only when they have a couple of guest performers that can rock the place.”

I snickered, “We can set you up with backstage passes.  Menzie is the daughter of the security chief at Lily the Pink.  Em is Emmett Dalton, Arabella’s big brother.  Arabella is the middle child.  And little Sarah is the quiet younger sister, of course, since Arabella never gives her enough quiet time to even say ‘Hi.’ Thinking of that, it would freak Sarah out anyway.  Emmett plays the sax, substituting for the lead sax player or as an added member of the band at the Snazzy Taz.  Em arranges music and he also composes, and he is Easy’s sister’s boyfriend, Sophie’s boyfriend.  If you get a regular ticket to the show, Sophie is in charge of security.  You would not have a chance to reach the stage.  Nearly all her crew are ex-cops.  And since the Snazzy Taz is all about jazz, Menzie sings the classic songs of seventy to one hundred years ago, and everyone in the audience thinks it’s a new song.”

Wilma smiled, “I have never had a backstage pass to anything.  This sounds like fun!”

This story is getting a little long.  Part 2 will cover the other incidents, kind of in the order we learned about them.  And then we can talk about one thing that happened on the way home.  The Part 2 comes out in a couple of hours (but if it has been a couple of hours, you can read both now), and the individual stories can stand on their own, but this has gotten into novelette range, although it could still be an extremely long short story.  Hmmm.  That almost sounded like an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp.

Credits

Here is Sarah Vaughan singing Dancing in the Dark.

Here is Bruce Springsteen singing Dancing in the Dark, a totally different song.

And here is Frank Sinatra singing Have You Met Miss Jones?