Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

I turned to Dev Yeggs as we lounged in lounge chairs near the pool while Jim Kaiser and his team made final checks.  I said, “Dev, we are going to have to quit meeting like this.”

In the lounge chair further along, Naomi said, “What?!  Pink, you brazen hussy.  Have you been meeting with my husband when my back was turned?”

I said, “I will not dignify that with an answer.  Ask your husband.”

Dev said, “I have no idea what Pink is talking about.”

Naomi growled, “But you are on a first name basis!”

“Yeah!” Dev replied.  “She is married to my brother.  We are family, you know.”

“But why a comment about stopping meeting like this?  Like what?”

I hinted, “Dev, sweet brother of mine.  Tell your wife what you were doing during the light-up night nearly one year ago.”

Dev spluttered, “How can I remember…  Oh, wait, Naomi my sweet wife, Pink and I were sitting next to each other on lounge chairs, almost the same position a year ago.  That is what she meant by us meeting like this.  The same event two years in a row and lounging possibly in the same chairs.  Mystery solved.”

Naomi snickered, “Likely story, but for the sake of the family, I will accept it.”

I laughed, “I am glad you are so forgiving when nothing needed to be forgiven, but we will have a crowd in a short while.  Paddy McCreary did not say who was coming with him, but he was bringing guests to the light up, the hint was that most of them had never seen a Christmas Tree before.”

Julia walked up behind us.  “Mommie Pinkie, I have Paddy McCreary here with several visitors.  Some are spending the night.”

I hopped to my feet and gasped, “Paddy, we do not run a hotel service here.”

Paddy laughed, “I checked with Rota.  She has a couple of non-refurbished apartments, and since that is more than what these couples usually have, they are happy with it.”

I cleared my throat, “But I usually make those decisions.  We have to plan ahead in case the mission sends us a family to house.”

Paddy nodded, “They can then come home with me, but one of the apartments is a two-bedroom and they can move in together, using separate bedrooms.  They will be neighbors for some time.  They could easily sleep in separate bedrooms in the same apartment.”

I asked, “And who are these neighbors?”

Hannah approached.  She was back in her Amish attire with no makeup.  “Mommie Pinkie, I would like to introduce you to my mother, Edna, and her husband.”  I looked at Clyde and something looked different, even though I had already adjusted to the fact that he was wearing Amish clothing.  It took a while to realize he had shaved his mustache.  Hannah smiled, “And here is Bonnie and her husband, Barry.”  I did not know Barry that well, but he too had shaved his mustache.  “They would like to stay here.  Amish tradition is to visit relatives after the wedding, but Clyde and Barry have no relatives that they know of.  But since you said the salvation prayer with Clyde and Pastor Joseph said the salvation prayer with Barry, they consider you family.  They want to honeymoon here.  They want to help out here, but they want to stay at least past the next FHAT dinner.  Those homeless people are family too.”

I gave all four of them a hug and welcomed them.  Even though their staying for a short time was a little irregular, it was a wonderful surprise.

I remembered what Clyde and Barry provided.  “Clyde, Barry, who is tending the farm while you are here?”

Paddy replied, “Colt and Sally Dalton will stay in Clyde’s room in the hayloft until the honeymooners return.  They say that Emmett is responsible enough to herd his two sisters around.  They say that it is his reward for showing responsibility.  And Arabella and Sarah can stay with Pastor Joseph and Mary when Em is playing music at the Snazzy Taz.  As for me, Hannah, and the custodian crew being gone, Jedidiah and his family are staying to keep an eye out for the Gargoyle House.  Jedidiah is Hannah’s cousin, Erasmus’ son.  He and his wife said they would decorate the boarding house in the Amish fashion while we are here.  So, nothing is being unattended.”

But I then looked beyond them and there were more visitors.  There were four Amish teenaged girls and by each of their sides were young men who looked far from Amish.

I asked, “And who else is here?”

Hannah said, “Our custodian crew is on Rumspringa.  I did not think they should work all the time.  And they are escorted by construction people from the construction site where Paddy pretended to work.  And I think around the other side of that tree is another special guest.  My grandmother.”

I gasped, “Abigail?!  Now, that is a special treat.  Is this her first time out of the Community of the Four Omas?”

Hannah grinned and nodded.

Abigail, the Grand Oma, elder of the Community of the Four Omas, came around the water tank fashioned to look like a tree.  She was accompanied by Samantha, the quick runner when we visited there.

Abigail said, “There are some teenagers in the large sandy area.  It looks like they are up to some mischief.”

I laughed, “No, not much mischief anyway.  My nephew, Blaise, is a designer of things.  Last year, Jim Kaiser called him Mr. Gizmo.  Last year what flew from that same sandy area was a fireball that flew up to the top of the mountain to light the fuse on some fireworks.  I have a feeling that he has something similar planned.  Maybe the same thing with more fireworks.  Our neighbors park on the street so they can see everything inside the mountain come to life and the fireworks on top of the mountain.”

Abigail asked, “But is all this extravagance necessary?  What is its purpose?”

I laughed, “All of this was dreamed by Zuzka when she was a slave here, doing things for my evil cousin. She knew the things she was doing were wrong.  She was captured in her country of Latvia and brought here to work as a slave.  This greenhouse may look extravagant, but using what she had learned in college to design all this was what kept her going in those hard times.  But at the same time, there may be whimsey here, but little extravagance.  These are not trees, they are water tanks covered in fake bark.  The water is used through the campus.  We have some water that is only used for the swimming pool and the water slides.”

Abigail asked, “What is a water slide?”

I smiled, “See those chutes that run down to the swimming pool?  We spray water into those chutes at the other end and pour water into those chutes when the children and a few silly adults sit or lay down in the chute and they slide all the way down and into the pool.  It is something that is fun to do.  It gives us a chance to invite others here and they can see that we are loving people.  It gives our employees a diversion from what is troubling them, but Pastor Joseph and I provide counseling also.  And I will show you the waterfall once the fireworks are over and the trees are lit.  But back to the water, we cool some of the water that is used in the process, but we also heat water for taking our baths and heating the glass roof in the winter.  That is the only time that the pool is closed.  If we expect ice or snow, we divert the heated water to the roof and away from heating the water for the swimming pool.  And much of the water goes to growing crops.  When was the last time that you ate a fresh tomato?”

Abigail said, “It has been months.  The tomato plants quit growing and the sun overheats them near the middle of August.”

I reached into my cooler.  “Here, have a tomato that was picked this morning.  We planted the new plants, up there in water pipes, about the first of September, and we are nearing the end of their productivity.  We have ample heat from the sun, but not enough light all day, so we use artificial lighting.  Otherwise, it is all God’s work.  That is why there is a glass roof.  A greenhouse traps the light from the sun so that this room that we call the Crystal Mountain stays warm all year round, and we have warm baths all year round, all from the heat that our sun provides.  No evil spirits, and not much modern conveniences.  You could build a greenhouse to increase your growing season for the vegetables that you eat.  Zuzka can teach you all about it.  And we grow our vegetables hydroponically, in water.  We have some plants that are in potting soil, those things that do not respond to hydroponic gardening.  Zuzka is our expert in that, but some of our children here have done experiments in what grows best in the sun and what is best in the shade.  We make a lot more of our food now than we did when we started with those children being curious and given the freedom to try new ideas.  Thinking of new ideas, how is everything at the Community of the Four Omas?”

Abigail smiled, “I think you may have been talking with Hannah.  She loves you like you were her mother.”

I smiled, “I adopted her to some degree.  I want her to succeed.  She has energy.  She has great ideas.  And she loves God.  A lot of that came from you, but some things work better in this world that she has found herself in and other things do not work as well.  So, I try to stay in touch.”

Abigail sighed, “Well, I think we have had our last weekend visitor, at least the ones who produce the seed for more babies.  I prayed for days.  I read the Scriptures.  The young ladies that are at the Gargoyle House, as they call it, are there as an experiment.  Some people remain unmarried.  As a result, they do not have children.  This was our error, and as the elder, I asked Gertie and Gretel to take over.  I allowed this sin, but they said that what was done was done.  We had to move forward with more biblical views.  And other than that one thing, I do not think I would change anything.  If a young lady makes a mistake, I will not do as our elder in Ohio did.  If you shun someone, they have nowhere to turn, and Satan can grasp them.  We need to be a sanctuary from that.  And I have come here to thank you for gently and lovingly correcting me.”

I smiled and nodded.  “I think Mr. Gizmo is ready.  Please sit down.  What happens next might be dizzying.”

The little children were sitting on the stage.  The Caseys were visiting so that Michael could enjoy the show with Arabella, but the young mothers sat along the edge of the stage with their babies.  Karl Kaiser, Stormie Yeggs and Andrew Niblick were standing next to their mothers, but Joseline, Sally Mae, Dr. Ellie, Jochebed, Zuzka, Tuesday Wednesday, and Penny Williams were holding their little ones.  In lounge chairs nearer the pool there were Virginia O. Apple, her two children and their families, Honeycrisp, Ambrosia, and Jazz with her little drummer boyfriend and their son, Jonesie.  Since we had normalized relations with the non-criminals on my side of the family, we selectively invited them over.  Light-up night needs a crowd.

Emmett came out with Darrell Driver and Mike Lothrop Kildare.  They all had guitars.  Menzie and Arabella were with them.  They sang Away in a Manger and O Little Town of Bethlehem with the children.  I was surprised the older children sang the song.  Most of the children were not of reading age.

The track that Blaise made for the fireball went a different direction.  And as I suspected, he added something.  It flew over the open area above the swimming pool and occasionally puffed confetti into the air.  With all the children on the stage, they went nuts.  Confetti was raining down on them.  I learned afterwards that the confetti was biodegradable.  Even if it got into the hydroponic gardens, it would not harm anything.  The fireball did as it did the previous year, but this time, it lit fuses that caused a chain reaction.  Fireworks were going off all around the outside of the Crystal Mountain.  This was mostly for the neighbors who only saw the top half of the Christmas tree lighting.

And while the peak of the Crystal Mountain was firing off roman candles to make the mountain look like a volcano, Jim Kaiser and his crew were lighting each section of the tree.  The maintenance platforms on top of the Big House roof said “Merry Christmas from all of us at Lily the Pink”, as it did last year, but this year, Blaise had added a river of lava from the top of the Crystal Mountain with red and green flickering lights that made it look like the lava was flowing.  Blaise explained that you only needed three rows of lights, repeated down the length of the river.  The eye would follow from one set of lights to the next set of lights so that it seemed to flow down the side of the mountain.

When the show was over and all our fake trees were lit with Christmas lights, there was an eruption of horns honking.  Abigail was a little concerned, but I said that the honking of automobile horns was the neighborhood expressing their thanks for a good show.

Abigail explained that without electricity, the Amish used candles and evergreen to celebrate the season, but they did not have gift giving.  I told her about how we celebrated Sinterklaas on the fifth of December and other than some modest gift giving at Christmas, the focus of the day was a religious holiday to celebrate one of the greatest miracles of all, that God came to earth and dwelt among us.  I told her about the younger adults and children that participate in the live nativity scenes, the First-Third Metho-Presby was the largest, with the shepherds and wise men coming and worshiping the newborn child and angels singing in the background, for every hour.  And Arabella and Michael supplied llamas and goats and a donkey.  Last year, Easter and Jemima’s newborn was the baby Jesus for an hour.  It was those things that we focused on rather than the rush to buy gifts.  The effort to light the Crystal Mountain was to cheer up the neighborhood and be a morale boost to the workers that walked through the Crystal Mountain every day.

As we were having a wonderful discussion, Sophia and Emmett approached with a food cart and a box.

“Aunt Pink,” Sophia said, excitedly, “Em and I have been working on a project today.  You know that we are taking the relationships class with Rev C.S.L.  He suggested that we do like my brother Easy and Jemima did.  Jemima took an interest in what Easter saw fascinating, to get to know him better.  As a result, she took a double-major at the university in Meteorology and Photography.  I am trying to learn how to play the guitar, and Em is reading mystery novels to see how a detective does his job.  But we also chose something neither of us do, baking.  And we hoped that you, and our mothers and fathers would be the guinea pigs.  Since it is the Christmas season, we baked a bûche de Noël, a Yule log.  The recipe called for a couple of different alcohols, but we substituted rum flavoring and orange flavoring instead.  We could have used the rum, since the alcohol is cooked out, but Dad over here would get upset if I just touched the bottle.”

Emmett took the box off the cake.  It looked like a real log.

I exclaimed, “You did all this yourself?!  This looks like a real log!”

Sophie said, “The mushrooms at the base were things that Otto had.  I think he was experimenting.  And the leaves were made by Mabel, but Otto supervised while we did the decorating.  The pine needles were tough to do because they had to be straight.  And do you know that Uncle Scrambled has books on trees, animals, birds, whatever.  He has no idea what they might have to make next, and he wants it to look real, so we naturally picked an apple tree.”

Dev asked, “Why an apple tree when you have orange flavoring in the icing?  You know you should never mix apples and oranges.”

Sophie turned to Emmett, “I told you Dad would either complain or have a Dad joke.  He did both, all in one swell foop!”

I turned to Abigail, “Do Amish eat chocolate?”

Abigail replied, “Are you kidding me?!  Where do you think Whoopie pies come from?  You may call them gobs.  You can thank the Amish later, but for now I want a big piece, but I would hate to cut this masterpiece.”

I shrugged, “I will let the bakers do it as long as we have a lot of photos.  I have often argued that when God gives us a purpose for our lives, we are not doing as we should if we fail in following that purpose.  I think this cake’s purpose is to be eaten!”

Emmett took a few photos as Sophie cut pieces for everyone near us.  They reassured us that they had taken photos of every step in the process and a lot of pictures of the finished product.

Getting some of the last of the cake were Fred and Wilma.

Wilma said, “Mommie Pinkie, you must see the waterfall. I think Fred and I are going to jump in.”

Fred gave her a weird look.  “I don’t think so, Wilma.”

Wilma giggled, “Okay, we will just look at it.”

I asked, “What is special about the waterfall?”

Wilma said, “It’s like the first plague of Egypt.  The water is red.”

Fred groaned, “No, the water is green.”  Wilma replied, “Red, dear.”  “Green!”

Sophia raised her voice.  “Before you two get into a fight, it’s both.  I watched my brother test the lighting.  He has the filter on a turntable.  That way it changes color depending on how he arranges the light filter.  I think he made alternating pie wedges.  Haven’t you seen pictures of Niagara Falls when it is lit in various colors?”

I took Abigail and the other guests on a tour, a ground tour in that we had strict rules about working (or even walking) at height.  Abigail was glad that we would not be climbing the mountain, but Samantha was a bit disappointed.  I think Samantha would beg for an excuse to return in the Spring, when the water slides were back open.  She seemed like the adventurous type.  We stayed at the falls long enough to watch the color change.

Then we went to the conference center to have supper, a huge, fully lit Christmas tree in each corner.  Hannah had warned Catherine of the size of her party, and she had plenty of hearty foods to choose from that were probably similar to what our Amish guests were used to.

At one point, I asked Abigail if she wanted to stay for the night, but she said that Hannah had prepared a presidential suite type lodging in case a team came.  The suite had three bedrooms, each with a bath, and a meeting room where they all connected.  Abigail would have her own room, and Samantha would have her own room.  Then during the day, Erasmus would take them back to their community by buggy.  Erasmus would also have people from their community’s farming operation to go to the County Line Farm and learn about milking goats and tending llamas.  Once the Daltons were confident that the Amish could take over until Clyde and Barry’s return, the Daltons could come back to their normal duties.

I asked Clyde and Barry about accepting the Amish traditions, and they said they would be exceptions in some respects.  They would still communicate with the Daltons by phone and the tablet.  With the llamas already nearing their birth window, Arabella and the vet needed to be ready at any time.  They would even watch the vespers services.  They would use the ATV and tractors and such if and when they were available, but they were given the name of an architect who would love the job of designing their homes, Frank Levy.  They would have two large homes on the west side of the creek on stilts, to avoid flood damage, otherwise two large Amish homes, since they would eventually be joined by Edna’s and Bonnie’s children.  But they wanted the houses to have elevated walkways connecting the front porches and a walkway across the creek and down to ground level.  I asked and they said that they would have indoor plumbing, sort of.  The water would be provided using a windmill.  Thomas ver Waarloosd had helped his father repair their windmill enough to know how it should work old school, but the rotating parts would probably have high tech bearings for ease in operation and less maintenance.  No hot water, and the septic tank’s leaching field had to be well away from the creek, which might mean some non-Amish piping to make it legal.  They would have solar panels to keep everything charged, but they would only use candlelight and only cold water.  But if they wanted to have a hot shower, that was available in the fully functioning bathroom in the barn.  Exceptions had their limits.  But they would each live on their opposite ends of the hayloft until the houses were ready next summer.  Tight and cozy for two people in each, but manageable.

And through the grapevine, I heard that the teenaged unmarried couples had invented a kissing game.  Since they often gathered at the waterfall, they kissed each time the color of the water changed.  At least they didn’t kiss for the length of the green water and then stop for the length of the red water.  Please, erase that last sentence.  I should not give them ideas.

Boaz came by with Tuesday Wednesday and Paddy.  They had a long meeting with Abigail.  They did not include me, but it seemed they were trying to figure out how her community could help the county line area as much as the two Counties could help her community.  It seemed the two Counties were willing to negotiate on a lot of factors in order to build up the strength of the no-man’s land between the two organized crime syndicates.

While Boaz had his meeting with Abigail, Scrambled and I tucked our children into bed.  We read a Bible story, and we talked about how that Bible story tells us a little about being Christians and loving others.  While Scrambled went to bed, having to rise early to start baking, I went back to my guests in time to say goodbye to the visitors that were going back to the Gargoyle House at the County Line.  We would find out if I really needed to go to bed also to get the children asleep.  The only one I worried about was Kanok.

Zuzka, Arabella and Catherine took charge of the guests who were staying for a while, showing them to their apartments.  Zuzka had the keys.  Catherine offered her support if they needed anything, and Arabella was there to welcome her friends who had milked a lot of goats and even helped with the delivery of a couple of new llamas.  The next llamas and a couple of goats were due in another six weeks.  Now, Arabella might have two more people to help.

Credits

Here are the Cedarmont Kids singing Away in a Manger.

Here are the Cedarmont Kids singing O Little Town of Bethlehem.  Since Emmett had gotten the children to sing along, I used the Cedarmont Kids for both videos.

More and more exceptions are filtering into Amish communities with cellphones and an internet connection being near the top of the list.  But since the rules are maintained by the elder, these exceptions may vary from one community to the next.

I loved baking a bûche de Noël each year when the children were young.  In the many moves, the book that contained the recipe was misplaced, but I found the book a few years ago.  My wife and I collaborated to make one for the prayer meeting one December.  We did not worry about making it look like a specific type of log.