Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

The entire complex had the day off.  The cider operation had been carefully shutdown on Christmas Eve.  Maintenance work was ongoing, but not today.  Jim Kaiser would have two crews working twelve hours on and twelve hours off until all the upgrades, repairs, and inspections were made, but they would have New Years Eve and New Years Day off also.

But today was extra special.  My friend and counselor to many at Lily the Pink for the past two and a half years had just been ordained as a minister.  And he was now switching to part-time at Lily the Pink.  He still had a couple of classes at T.R.U.S.T. to complete to have his master’s in psychology.

He had a nice, formal reception after his ordination ceremony, but now, we wanted to have a party.

There were so many people that wanted to go to the ordination that we had to rent buses, with drivers.

All the ladies who had not gone to the ordination service spent that time quickly decorating the conference center.  Of course, the Christmas trees were still in the four corners of the room.  But when we returned, there was a dance floor available, but the rest of the room had tablecloths on all the tables with place settings.  There were centerpieces with a cross dominating each table.

Rev. Jones was very surprised.  He was led to the center seat of the head table, and then one person after another spoke into a microphone stationed in the kitchen.  It was not exactly like the old television show, This is Your Life, but it was close enough.  Rev. Jones knew each person.  They were people that Joseph had counseled.  Margie asked if he would continue counseling because if he stopped, she might do nasty things with her boyfriend.  Blaise was in the conference center at the time and he protested.

Sarah sang a song to give her thanks to Joseph for all the help he had been for her.  After all, Sarah had selective mutism due to losing everything in a flood, and Joseph had asked for a leave of absence from his job with a disaster relief organization to work on a psychology degree.  It was a perfect fit that he could help Sarah.

And of course, the famous evangelist that heads the disaster relief association was also there, along with a few of his friends that he had worked with: carpenters, electricians, and plumbers.

When I got up to speak, “You came here roughly 822 days ago.  You were an easy person to get to know and love, but your heart was for Mary from the beginning.  You have been in a rotation of people who gave the message at our vesper services.  I hope you do not play the game that the other ministers in town do.  Among all of them, they represent only one third of the vesper services.  Doing the math, your third of the services amounts to 274 vespers messages.  That is not exact.  You have been out chasing storms at times, but then you have filled in when the intended speaker was unable to speak.  Sorry, I did not keep records.  But all that practice at a five-minute sermon, I am pondering something.  I doubt anyone at the church will complain about a five-minute sermon.  But maybe Rev C.S.L. might say that the church is paying you to talk more.  But on the other hand, when you get into the groove of writing a twenty-minute sermon, remember that the entirety of our vesper services is hardly that long.  Just a warning.  The Baptists in the crowd would love it.  The Presbyterians in the crowd will be checking their watches.  The Catholics might genuflect and leave.  The non-denominationals will be jumping and waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care.  The Pentecostals will be huddled in the corner performing a healing for your long-windedness.  But don’t worry about the Lutherans.  After the five minutes is up, they’ll be asleep.  Ummm.  Did I leave anyone out?”

But the last speaker was another voice he had no problem in recognizing.  “The current temperature is 30 degrees Fahrenheit.  There is a west-northwest wind at 11 miles per hour.  The wind chill is 19 degrees Fahrenheit.  The sky will be mostly cloudy with a high of 30 degrees Fahrenheit.  The forecast is that in five months, you will be a Daddy, and if you do not decide on a name soon, we might have a problem.  Just imagine our child walking up to his first teacher and she asks, ‘And what is your name?’ The child replies, ‘Name.’  The teacher responds, ‘Yes, your name.’  The child says, ‘Name!’  The teacher gets huffy and says, I cannot welcome you to this class unless you give me your name.’  And our lovely little child must then explain, ‘I have been giving you my name.  What is on my birth certificate is Name to be Determined Later Jones.’”

After Mary came out, she kissed and hugged him.  And when she sat next to him, Rev. Joseph Jones arose to address the crowd.  “I have been giving this a lot of thought.  I have been praying.  And maybe that is why I cannot decide. Do I honor a parent or grandparent?  Do I honor my present or former employers?  Do I pick a name from the Bible.  One name is off our lists.  I am Joseph.  My wife is Mary.  We will not name our son Jesus.  One of those was enough and sufficient for each one in this room.  And I also realize that while I have five months, that could become four months, and those months fly by quickly.  I will get around to thanking everyone individually, but this place is packed.  It may take me a few days.”

Rev C.S.L. jumped up and said, “It cannot take too long, you are preaching next Sunday.”

Joseph asked, “What?”

Rev C.S.L. said, “Don’t worry.  The attendance is usually low.  And those that will be attending will probably still have a hangover from New Years.  And … you do know that I am joking.  You are not on the schedule until Groundhog Day.”

Joseph asked, “Is Groundhog Day on Sunday this year?”

Rev C.S.L. said, “No, Groundhog Day is on Monday.  The attendance will be low that day also.”

Joseph nodded, “So, my best practice for the size of the audience would be a group therapy session.”

Rev C.S.L. said, “Again, I am joking.  Do you see all the people in this room?  Joseph, you are loved.  Expect a packed house, even on a Monday.  And, Pink Lady, what is that strong cider smell?  I thought your cider vats were shut down for maintenance?”

I laughed, “Yesterday was the vat cleaning day which gives the entire complex that smell.  I hope you like it, but by tomorrow, we will be back to normal.”

Rev C.S.L. added, “And Joseph, make a good decision regarding the baby’s name.  Thumbing through the baby name book and blindly pointing could be disastrous.”

We had a wonderful meal, and the first dance was Mary and Joseph, dancing to Have You Met Miss Jones?  Menzie sang.  They did one spin and no dips.  Mary’s baby bump was starting to show.

Bea and Bro then got up to organize a few folk dances and a line dance or two.  Rev C.S.L. explained that this part of the party had to stay at Lily the Pink due to many of their members not thinking that dancing was appropriate.  But Bea and Bro skipped the wild swing dancing just for that reason.

Rev C.S.L. ended with a long pastoral prayer, focusing on how Joseph must focus on God while God keeps that fire kindled within Joseph.  He added that Joseph should remember that we are all not perfect people before he attends his first session meeting with the ruling elders of the church.

And then the other pastors who came to the party and our special guests from the disaster relief organization all had their personal time with Reverend Joseph Jones.  What am I saying?  He is still Pastor Joseph to us.

Credits

I cannot see anything that needs a Credit.