Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Boilerplate

I’m Harold Dykstra.  I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story.  My time is well spent.  A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel.  I did not know she was an angel at the time.  The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone.  And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy.  She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others.  She changed my life.

In her leaving, she said someone would come.  I had thought that was Jesus, in His second coming, but a new Babs, a little older, the model for the posable action figure arrived.  While I had no desire to start over with romance, Morrie helped her move in, thinking she was the other Babs who had returned.

This Week’s Question

Last week, Babs picked the flowers for the wedding.  Babs would get the flowers for the wedding party, but to coordinate with the decorators, Pink Lady needed to know.

This week, Babs came into the room in a new dress.  It was the same style that she had adopted as her own.  If you thumbed through a 40s or 50s LOOK magazine and saw an advertisement, that was her style.  You never can tell.  She looks great in that style.  She looks adorable and innocent in that style.  But she stands out in a crowd.  Maybe the style will make a comeback.

I smiled, “Well!  That is a new dress.  I hope it’s a new dress.  If you have worn it before and I do not remember, I just made a monumental mistake.”

Babs snickered, “This is a new one.  You aren’t in trouble, but now that I know that you are sensitive to a rarely worn dress possibly being a new one, I know that I can mess with you.”

I Moaned, “Did I just teach you one of my first wife’s nasty tricks that often made my stomach churn?”

Babs purred, “Oh, Harold, you did, but I promise I will not do it … often.”  She laughed and kissed me on the cheek.  She was wearing her nice perfume that I had commented on smelling good on her.  She was wearing her nice shoes that she reserved for Sunday special occasions.”

I sighed, “Babs, you seem to be setting me up for something.  What do you want?”

Babs scrunched her nose, “Do you realize that we are getting married in 18 days and counting, and I do not remember you taking me out on a date?  What kind of romantic are you, Harold Dykstra?”

I moaned, “Babs, we have been on several dates.  What about when we spontaneously drove to Stout County to shop at that nice Christian bookstore.”

She cackled, “Do you mean the time when you introduced me to Turnip Greens, head of the organized crime family in Stout County?”

I shrugged, “Babs, as I remember it, he introduced himself to us, probably because I was with a pretty woman, who is much younger than me and far too pretty for a man in my station.”

Babs laughed, “Nice attempt at humility there, Harold.  You almost pulled it off.  But that was wanderlust on my part and a chance on your part for buying a bookshelf full of books at clearance prices.  No, I am thinking dinner and a movie. Dinner and a romantic late-night drive that includes the local make-out spots.  Something like that.”

I snickered, “I have no idea where the make-out spots are.  It’s too cold to do the romantic walk along the lake or the river.  I am pretty sure that 99 out of 100 movies that might be playing would be offensive in one way or another.”

Babs snickered, “Okay, I did not think that one through.  And the local hockey team is not playing tonight.”

I groaned, “Correction.  They are playing late on the west coast.  Which means that even if we saw the game on television, it would not be over until sometime tomorrow.  So, your half right.”

Babs smiled, “Half is better than nothing.”

I laughed, “But Babs, we have spent more time together than most couples who are blindly going into marriage without getting to know each other.”

Babs giggled, “But I want to do this right, Harold.  When our grandchildren come in and ask what I did on a date, I want to have an answer.  Okay, the answer of ‘I never ever did that’ might not be believable.  But you know what I was groomed to do at about the age when kids start dating.  Then my entire career was doing naughty things with guys, but we never had dinner together.  Then I come here and we have dinner in the dining room or the kitchen, and we have a Bible study, and then I go upstairs to my apartment.  I know what I can do.  I will sneak some of my underwear into your chest of drawers and then when Madison comes by, I will have her help me with the laundry.  Who knows what kind of dating questions she may ask.”

I growled, “Babs, are you using blackmail with fabricated ‘evidence’ to get me to change clothing and take you out to dinner?”

Babs shrugged, “I was just talking, but it does sound a little like blackmail.  But I want dinner and …  I could care less what the ‘and …’ is.”

I sighed, “Okay, the Castle Restaurant.  It’s a restaurant designed to look like a castle.  Very upscale.  I have only been there with customers that were promising multimillion dollar contracts.  I will put everything on the card including the tip.  Don’t worry.  The wait staff are used to it.  A twenty percent tip is going to be more than we would normally have in our combined wallets.  There is an indoor miniature golf course in the Castle dungeon.  It’s not really a dungeon, but if you make the façade look like a castle, and you have coats of arms in every dining area, you cannot call the basement anything other than a dungeon.  Eighteen holes and many have medieval tortures as their themes.  But what would you have done if I called your bluff about the misplaced undies?”

Babs said, “I would do what I was good at doing in my old job, and only while there was an audience in the next room.  How about that?”

I asked, “Wasn’t your best feature your bountiful curves, since you were Bountiful Babs?”

Babs came over and sat on my lap.  “Harold, I have offered you the chance to see my old videos, and I appreciate your lack of interest.  There were a lot of ladies, okay not ladies, that were more bountiful than I was, but I felt I used those assets better.  But I acted like I was really enjoying what I was doing.”

I asked, “How?”

Babs threw her arms around my neck and started to moan and then scream with delight, “Yes, Harold, yes, yes, yes.  Right there!  Harder!  Harder!  Keep going!  Don’t stop!  Yes! Yes!  Yes!”

As she gathered her breath to scream some more, we heard someone in the kitchen clearing her throat.

Sadie and Madison walked into the room.  Sadie was extremely angry and Madison was laughing.

Babs hopped off my lap quickly.  Babs said, “Harold, we are going to have to change the locks.”

Sadie asked, “Two and a half weeks and you couldn’t wait?  Madison, go back to the kitchen.  I do not want you to see this.”

Maddie laughed, “What, Mom?  I suggested it.”

Sadie screamed, “What?!”

Maddie said, “Grabbabs and I were talking and I asked her where Pake takes her out on a date.  She didn’t know if they ever had gone dating.  They do the food banks and feeding the homeless.  They work together.  But mostly Pake fixes the meals here.  And I said that she should slip some undies into some place where they shouldn’t be and blackmail him into a nice dinner.  And if that didn’t work, she should make it appear they were doing the naughty.  Come on, Mom.  Both of them have all their clothes on.  But Grabbabs, you were very convincing.  I was getting aroused just listening.”

Sadie said, “Young lady, we will discuss this when we get home.  And you will be chaperoned when you date Mike Kildare the next time.”

Maddie groaned, “Mom!  I have had all my sex education classes.  The girls at school all talk like they have done it, and I’m only a freshman at Flintheart High.  I doubt if half of the braggers have gotten to second base, but Mom, usually when I meet up with Mike, we are at the Crystal Mountain.  The kids at school that are not from there call the Crystal Mountain ‘the Castle of Chastity.’  There are cameras everywhere.  You can only kiss in designated areas.  Frankly, I do not mind the rules.  I understand why the rules are in place.  Mike and I are just friends, not even boyfriend, girlfriend.  We just put that on our social media accounts to keep the wolves from circling.”

Babs said, “The Castle of Chastity?  I wonder if Pink Lady knows.”

Maddie laughed, “I am sure she does.  It doesn’t bother her.  The high schoolers that hang out there or live there are fine with it.  And I love it that Babs arranged escorts that are connected to those kids.  I have an instant group of friends that my parents and grandparents would approve.  And I can wangle tickets to high school and some college sporting events.  And that’s why we are here.  Are you sold on what you were planning or do you want to go to a rugby game.  They’ll have the roof closed.  A women’s college team from England is coming over to do some demonstrations, and when they heard that Anahera is the coach and she almost was on the All Blacks, they thought they’d come to Tracy.  The conference has rugby still as a club team, but Anahera has recruited Joseline Johnson to play the 4.”

Babs asked, “Four?!”

Maddie nodded, “Yeah!  The locks who wear jerseys four and five line up in the scrum behind the props and the hooker.  Then the flankers and the number 8 are behind the locks.  In the practices that I have seen, Amazon pushes too hard, but when they have lineouts, she lifts the other lock, the number 5, and I don’t think the Dark Angels will ever lose a lineout toss that our hooker throws.”

Sadie said, “And you throw that word around.  Pink Lady will throw you out of the Crystal Mountain using language like that.”

Maddie laughed, “Mom!  That is what the position is called, like a center on the football team.  The hooker and props on either side of the hooker are the ones who come into contact with the other team in the scrum.”

Sadie asked, “And how do you know all this?”

Maddie said, “Anahera was at Flintheart pumping up the idea, and she talked to us about the skills we needed.  I’m not muscular like Amazon, that’s Joseline Johnson, but they saw me kick the ball.  They think I might make the number 10 jersey as a Fly-Half.  I might be the one to kick the conversions if I can practice a lot.  I really want to play, Mom!  I was going to let you see the game tonight and ease me playing into the conversation.  And Grabbabs.  We have four tickets.  We can double date, but that means I’m stuck with Mom.”

I turned to Babs, “The Castle can wait until tomorrow.  Let’s do something I have never done before.  I have never seen a rugby game in person.”

Babs smiled, “Okay, Harold, but two dates in two days.  I don’t know what I will be like on Sunday morning.”

Sadie said, “Just don’t repeat your pretending to have the big O.”

Babs groaned, “But Sadie dear, I have to get into practice.  Who knows if Harold can satisfy me?”

The three ladies laughed at my expense while I went to get dressed, finding a bra and thong in my sock drawer.  She was pulling out all the stops to experience a date.  Babs called Tony to use his garage remote to feed Sugar and take her for her last walk of the day.  And we were off.

On the way, Babs asked me, “What is the biblical support for dating or courting?”

I shrugged, “There isn’t one.  Sure, there are a lot of guidelines for a strong relationship, but dating or courting?  Not much.  Isaac and Rebekah and then Jacob and Rachel with Leah thrown in are some of the few clues.”

Babs smiled, “But Isaac did not see Rebekah until he invited her into his tent, and they were married at that point.”

I grinned, “Abraham sent his servant.  ‘Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.” “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?” She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.” Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”’ (Genesis 24:12-27)  The rest was gift giving to Bethuel and to Laban.  These gifts were to prove that Isaac, Abraham’s only son was wealthy enough to support Rebekah.  This was not the dowry, but the bride price.”

Then Babs said, “At least the story of Jacob and Rachel has a kiss.  ‘While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd. When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He had told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father. As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he hurried to meet him. He embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his home, and there Jacob told him all these things. Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.”  After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.” Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” ’ (Genesis 29:9-18). Of course, Laban tricked Jacob and made Jacob work fourteen years after he married Jacob to Leah first.  But these things don’t sound like dating at all.”

Sadie said, “Dating and courtship evolved over the millennia since then.  But I am sure that Dad will have a lot of information on developing a relationship.”

I said, “Yes, to have a good relationship, and Maddie needs to listen to this.  It must be God-centered.  And then, you need to be spiritually compatible. ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?’ (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).  Then, Babs joked about Genesis 24 not having much dating since they married the first time they saw each other, but Abraham was involved.  He swore his servant to the task.  His servant had the jewelry necessary to pay the bride price.  Abraham told the servant where to go and who to look for. But it was God who put Rebekah in that perfect place.  But the families need to be involved when you are dating.  Maybe not holding your hand or sitting between you in the movie theater, but I hope they have a say in which movie.”

Maddie nodded, “Yeah, the high school people in Stinker’s Sunday school class…  Sorry, Mom, Aunt Jemima’s class, decide what movies that we want to see, and if they are G-movies, we invite others to watch.  The PG movies are rare but carefully chosen.  Like I said, Mike and I are just friends, but we hang out together.  Mike is the shy one.  I think if we want to become more than friends, I will have to take the lead.  I already know that he likes me.”

Babs said, “But please, Maddie, ‘Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.’ (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)”

Maddie laughed, “We are just friends, but that’s funny about the body being the temple of the Holy Spirit.  I have heard coaches say that, but in context, it’s talking about chastity, not exercise.”

I added, “’Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.’ (1 Timothy 5:22).  The laying on of hands is not talking about yours and your dates hands keeping to yourself.  It’s talking about not jumping the gun in ordaining a pastor or church leader.  But the rest applies to dating.  Keep yourself pure and do not share in another person’s sin.”

Maddie nodded, “Gotcha Pake.”

Babs moaned, “’Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’ (Proverbs 3:5-6).  Be wise, Maddie.  ‘For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.’ (Proverbs 11:14)”

Maddie said, “Really Grabbabs.  Mike and I are cool.  Matthew and Mercy are dating, but not seriously.  Can we cool it with the Bible verses and enjoy the game?”

Babs giggled, “Sure thing, Maddie.  You are going to have to tell us what is going on.  We know nothing about the sport.”

Since Babs and I had not eaten supper, we went to the concession stand.  In the dining area was Fred and Wilma.  They had huge beef barbequed ribs.  It looked like they were really trying to look like the Flintstones.  Babs asked if they were good.  Wilma laughed and said a lot of bone and not much meat.  Most of the meat went to making steaks.  Babs and I got cardboard bowls of rice and barbequed stew meat.  We could munch on that while we looked for our seats.  No problem in finding the seats.  Maddie had gotten the seats from Anahera, and half the people in her section were wearing pink.

Our seats were next to Kevin Johnson.  We played with little Misty as much as we watched the game.  Kevin said that Joseline might not play the entire game.  She was not fully in game shape, but she hoped to be by Spring.  But the giant size of Joseline was a good advantage.  She had reasonable speed, she did not go down with just one person tackling her.  Yet, before halftime, she was slowing down.

And Maddie talked about the difference between Scrums, Rucks, and Mauls.

But Babs held my hand most of the time, and we kissed a lot.

Pink Lady came over to sit in front of us in the second half.  Joseline sat out the second half and without that size advantage and Joseline’s insistence in dragging the first tackler, the England fifteen went out to a comfortable lead.  But Anahera was pleased with the result.  They fought hard against a well-experienced team and with better strength training and endurance, they would be ready in the Spring.

Babs leaned in close as the end of the game neared.  “This was not what I expected, but this was fun.  And we get a Castle, a fancy dinner, and a round of miniature golf all in our second date.

Credits

All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife.  We would talk about anything and everything.  And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.

My father’s mother, Mammy, kept every LOOK magazine that came her way.  I think she used the photography to see the human body in different poses.  She had been a school marm in a one-room schoolhouse.  She taught the boy who would become her husband.  She insisted that he go to college and before entering his senior year, he convinced her that the sheepskin would not make the crops grow any faster, so he never finished his degree.  She retired some time after she had given birth to four sons and they had all completed the eighth grade where she had each of the boys sent to the city school in town, staying Monday through Thursday nights with maiden aunts who lived in town.  She loved to sketch and she would take a pad of paper and charcoal into the woods and sketch whatever she thought looked interesting.  She took a course by mail in art.  I have one of her last paintings, a painting of me when I was 6-7 years old, playing with a litter of beagle puppies.  What makes me think she used the LOOK magazines as artistic inspiration is that they were kept in huge stacks in her art room, with the sunlight coming in the windows at the perfect angles.

But I can close my eyes and see those advertisements.  I have no idea what they were advertising, but the women’s attire was often very similar.

And as for Babs and Harold dating, it was something similar to my wife’s and my dating early on.  If my wife did not have to work on Friday night or Saturday night, we went to high school football games, if you showed up late, you got in for free.  And on our first official date, my wife and I went to Galveston Island and played miniature golf around midnight, after a fancy meal at a nice restaurant.  It was not a castle, but it was pricey.  We went there because one of my wife’s younger sisters bussed tables there.

And there is a restaurant not far from where I live between my place of residence and the airport that resembles a castle a little.  And an evening meal would cost the same as a two-week grocery bill for the family, but you do it once for the experience.  And my wife loved it.

And when I first arrived in Germany, they found out that I used to kick field goals in intramural football in college. They wanted me to play the Fly-Half (10) or the Fullback (15), but I hesitated. After the next game, one of my friends was in a back brace, another in a neck brace, and my company commander was bruised severely. My platoon sergeant took a position on the team. He had the Bubba Smith routine down. The backs for the other team would line up to lateral the ball from one person to the next, and my platoon sergeant would charge along that line, tackling 4 or 5 and then figuring out which one had the ball. At least that was said about Bubba Smith.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.