Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
- Matthew 19:3-12
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
- Matthew 5:31-32
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
- Malachi 2:16
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
- Deuteronomy 24:1-4
If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.
- Deuteronomy 22:13-19
“‘They must not marry women defiled by prostitution or divorced from their husbands, because priests are holy to their God.
- Leviticus 21:7
They must not marry widows or divorced women; they may marry only virgins of Israelite descent or widows of priests.
- Ezekiel 44:22
“After you’ve gone and left me crying
After you’ve gone there’s no denying
You’ll feel blue, you’ll feel sad
You’ll miss the dearest pal you’ve ever had
There’ll come a time, now don’t forget it
There’ll come a time when you regret it
Someday when you grow lonely
Your heart will break like mine
And you’ll want me only
After you’ve gone, after you’ve gone away
After I’m gone, after we break up
After I’m gone, you’re gonna wake up
You will find you were blind
To let somebody come and change your mind
After the years we’ve been together
Through joy and tears, all kinds of weather
Someday blue and downhearted
You’ll long to be with me right back where you started
After I’m gone, after I’m gone away
[Scatting]
You will find you were blind
To let somebody come and change your mind
Someday blue and downhearted
You’ll long to be with me right back where you started
After I’m gone, after I’m gone away
[Scatting]
You’ll feel blue and you’ll feel sad
You’ll miss the dearest pal you ever had
Someday when you’ve grown lonely
Your heart will break like mine and you’ll want me only
After you’ve gone, after you’ve gone away
You made me sad and blue but now I’m through with you
And there’s nothing more you can say
So Jack, be on your way
Miss Ella’s okay”
- Henry Creamer, After You’ve Gone
Note that the lyrics are modified for Ella Fitzgerald. Frank Sinatra’s last line or two is different. It seemed the star singers had fun with this song, adding their own ending.
I got carried away with the Scriptures, but there is a lot written about divorce. Jesus was very restrictive in his discussions on the subject. The Deuteronomy 22 scenario is an “old justice” type crime. If the woman is found to be a virgin prior to the marriage, then the man is punished, pays a fine, and can never divorce her for any reason. But what is not quoted above is that if virginity cannot be proven, the woman is to be taken to her parents front door and there she is stoned to death. The proof here is blood on the sheets after the wedding night consummation of the marriage. The parents of the bride kept those sheets as proof. But in some case, especially with royalty, a chicken was slaughtered and the blood placed on the sheet. Then the sheet was shown to the populace so they could cheer that the king or emperor had slept with a “virgin” on his wedding night.
And the last two Scripture speak of the added restrictions for priests to remain “holy.”
Of course, the song may be talking about abandonment and not divorce at all.
But I was married to my wife for 48 years when she passed. Before she got badly ill, she would say that her heart was not strong and she would not last to see our 50th wedding anniversary. She was right.
But after 15-20 years of marriage, people would ask, especially in church groups, how could we live as a wedded couple for that long?
My reply was, “Divorce has never crossed our minds. Murder? Many times. But we joke about it. We never have thought about murder long enough to think it through.”
Then my wife would add, “Speak for yourself, buster. I have been saving a couple of sharp knives … just for the right moment.”
“Yikes!” I would reply, “Thought about it, and she knows her method of choice.”
People would laugh. If they knew my wife, they would laugh even harder. She could dull a knife that has a warranty that the blade lasts a lifetime.
But this song speaks of a vindictive spirit. If the marital union cannot be fixed, we should still wish the best for the other partner. We are to love our enemies, and this was someone that we had once loved.
Yet, when a breakup occurs or when one spouse dies, the other goes through this. Maybe the composer was thinking that when it was written. This is how I am grieving over you leaving. Thus, you feeling the same means there was some spark left in the relationship.
But folks do not seem to pray enough before marriage. They do not get to know each other before the relationship becomes physical. They do not take marriage as a lifelong commitment. Divorce has become an easier option.
But I remember our marriage. As the physical relationship died, what was left was a caregiver-patient relationship. And we loved each other all the more. And I lift a prayer to all long-term caregivers. It is hard when they pass away. Like any other passing, missing them is always an issue. But the caregiver sets up a daily routine, and you keep doing things out of habit until you realize that the reason for the habit is no longer there.
Here is Ella Fitzgerald singing After You’re Gone.
But what about Ella in a live concert? Here she does a lot more scat with the Count Basie Orchestra.
Love will grow if you have faith in God and faith that marriage is a lifelong commitment.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley 
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