I am in Pain – Therefore, I am Alive.

I came by my negative attitude honestly.  My parents kept putting me down regarding my negativity, but I got it from them.  It was one of those “the beatings will continue until morale improves” kind of things.  My viewpoint on negativity was, as an engineer, if I could think of the worst thing and eliminate that from the realm of possibility, what was left was either good or passable.  I never thought of that as being negative.


One day, while visiting my parents, the subject of aches and pains came into conversation.  My siblings were also there.  I can’t remember who started the conversation, but there were many people with aches and pains.  My mother softly said, ”I am in pain.  Therefore, I am alive.”  Although she never thought that she was negative, her view about getting old was that pain was inevitable and constant.  The way she said it was without hope.  Her statement was a conversation killer.


I am getting to the point where there is always something that hurts, but I prefer to reverse the phrase.  I am alive, therefore there will be the occasional pain.  Maybe that doesn’t make it less negative, but I would hope so.


The other night, I had a dream.  I can’t tell you any details of the dream, except that I had passed away.  I awoke with this wonderful sense of calm, excitement, and anticipation.  Had I really passed away?  Was I about to see Jesus?  I was filled with so much Joy, I could have leapt from the bed.


I stared at the ceiling, wondering if this was an out-of-body experience.  Then, my right ankle cried out.  I’d had problems with my left ankle.  Why was my right ankle hurting when I hadn’t moved a muscle yet?


Then it dawned on me.  “Rats!  I’m still here.”


Maybe that is the way to express it.  “I am in pain.  Thus, I am still here.”


I may have my negative moments, but I am positive that Jesus loves me and I am His own.


NOTE:  For those wondering about omens, I have no serious illnesses and don’t plan on leaving this mortal coil any time soon.

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