I’m Detective Sgt. Deviled Yeggs. I work homicide in the big city of Tracy. My partner is Jim Wednesday. Poached Yeggs, Junior Detective and my nephew, is assisting. At present, Poached is being a big help by feeding Willard Millard Fillmore with false information and distracting him from the true investigation. There is one thing that Poached has in plenty supply, a devious imagination. He has created backstories and produced evidence – evidence that has nothing to do with our case. He even got Will Mill Fill nervous when he produced trace evidence that was supposedly found at the crime scene, lint that he has found in one of Will Mill Fill’s pockets. And to Poached, he was Will Mill Fill. The rest of us call him Jack. The result endears Poached to him and he avoids us. It has become a delicate balance running two cases on the same murder at the same time. We rehearse the truth and the lies daily, making slow progress in the fake case and little to no progress in the real case.
Mashie found the dead man switch for the fertilizer machine in Pauline’s apartment. I did not think they were far enough along in their relationship for Mashie and Pauline to share keys, but I didn’t go there in the questioning. The device is hidden in an old cold case evidence box, one where we know we’ll never look, solved to our satisfaction but unable to get the necessary evidence for conviction. Besides the perpetrator of the cold case has been deceased for about five years now. If I said any more, you might figure out where the evidence is hidden. See what I mean? This is a very delicate balancing act. I don’t want to risk giving the case file away.
But the last time I heard from Mashie, he was using some of his government contacts to check out George Smythe’s lieutenants. They are focusing on the one that we know locally as Timothy Hay. He works as a mechanic at a small auto repair shop. How he can afford the membership at the Hoity-Toity club is a bit of a mystery, but good mechanics do not come cheap. Mashie’s contacts think that Mr. Hay has some outstanding warrants that we can use to bring him in for questioning.
But my problem is that if we bring Timothy Hay in for questioning on a charge from a foreign country, we will blow the entire concept of the fake case and we have no idea how Jack will respond. And if we cannot get any usable information, all we will accomplished is to rid ourselves of a small fry in the organization. I am thinking that we need some other way of bringing in Timothy Hay.
To get more information on these characters, I decided to use my brother as an undercover agent. The problem is that sometimes employing Scrambled Yeggs, it makes the whole investigation get scrambled. Scrambled Yeggs, friend of the underworld and part-time bounty hunter, is now playing golf and monopoly with a few of the lieutenants and occasionally George Smythe himself. So far, he has learned that Smythe cheats and even then, plays poorly, but Timothy Hay is nearly a scratch golfer. But he thinks that Mr. Hay has a problem with illegal drugs. We try to concentrate on the drug trafficker while giving rehabilitation for the users, but Timothy Hay might not know that. We had our reason to bring him in if we could casually catch him.
Timothy Hay is a main ingredient in rabbit and guinea pig food. For two weeks, I slept and worked in my son’s den, with Gingersnap, the guinea pig. I think I am allergic to Timothy Hay or Gingersnap, thus a good reason to get rid of the fictional one. As for Gingersnap, he may become a future villain. He had a habit of waking me in the middle of the night, much more active in the dark. I was usually in bed 9-10 hours to get 4 hours of sleep. If he got too rambunctious, I turned the lights on to mess with him.