Lousy Tears

“Earth, do not cover my blood;
    may my cry never be laid to rest!
Even now my witness is in heaven;
    my advocate is on high.
My intercessor is my friend
    as my eyes pour out tears to God;
on behalf of a man he pleads with God
    as one pleads for a friend.
“Only a few years will pass
    before I take the path of no return.

  • Job 16:18-22

Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll— are they not in your record?

  • Psalm 56:8

So I weep, as Jazer weeps, for the vines of Sibmah. Heshbon and Elealeh, I drench you with tears! The shouts of joy over your ripened fruit and over your harvests have been stilled.

  • Isaiah 16:9

Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.

  • Jeremiah 9:1

Let them come quickly and wail over us till our eyes overflow with tears and water streams from our eyelids.

  • Jeremiah 9:18

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

  • Revelation 21:4

Have you ever thought about Revelation 21:4 from the standpoint that you will have tears in heaven and Jesus will wipe them away?  Sure, there is no crying or pain.  That is also in that same verse, but for over ten years, I have suffered from severe dry eye.  My corneas have been damaged as a result.

To explain, the cornea has no blood vessels to carry nutrients to the cornea membrane.  That blood flow would get in the way of seeing, so the cornea relies on the tear production to create a nourishing film over the eye.  But the eye makes two types of fluid, one oily and one watery.  If your eyes make two much of the oily stuff, the gunk and goo that you wipe from your eyes in the morning, then the watery stuff never gets to the cornea to protect it and nourish it.

At a recent ophthalmologist appointment, he tested one thing then another.  He looked intently at my eyes and then he stopped.  “Wait, wait, wait.  This time when I put the light in close to your eye, blink a few times.”  I did so and then he sat back in his chair.  “You have the lousiest tears I have ever seen.”

Not only did I produce very few tears, my tears did not coat the corneas as they should.

So, this first part of a two part story about my latest eye therapy is about needing artificial tears and maybe even going to the latest and “greatest” medicine for dry eye.  I need better tears.

It is great that God will wipe away our tears and that there will be no more pain and crying, but I might, on that day produce some good tears that will actually do some good.  But then our new bodies will have no problem with dry eye in the first place.

The second part, which will be in the post in a couple of days is the daily heated face mask.  I am up to nearly seven minutes, which is where the doctor wants me to stay for a while.  To be honest, when I reach six and a half minutes, the mask no longer feels warm.

On Monday, I wrote about Laughing at Death.  Whether false bravado or being delusional or having an emotional problem, etc.  some people laugh when faced with death, like at a funeral or a pre-funeral viewing.  I am not like that, but I do not cry either – another reason why some people laugh instead.

In not crying, one reason is that we might have been taught not to cry.  It could be that we never saw anyone crying when we were growing up, or it could be that we were taught, intentionally, that crying was not allowed.  I had both as I grew up.  My mother would explode in tears on occasion, but she hated that so much that she would lock herself in the bedroom until it was over.  My Dad taught me to never cry.  Grown men, as he said it, never cried.  I have mentioned how this early training in my life led me to not crying at my brother’s funeral, nor my Dad’s, nor my mother’s, all within three months’ time.

The experts say that you can be taught not to cry, but can we be taught not to shed tears?  Even to our detriment?  Can you be taught not to shed tears for the nourishment of the cornea?  Or is this a side effect of that teaching to not cry?  Or is my body simply falling apart in that area?

You might have to be as old as I am to remember the television commercial, but there were a couple of commercials that had a Native American, Iron Eyes Cody.  The commercial’s tag line, paraphrased, is that people start pollution, but we can stop it.  You see this Native American in a tranquil setting, but then trash is found here or there.  In the end, the stoic Native American turns to the camera and there is a tear in one eye.  Why was this commercial done in this fashion?  Native Americans were taught to be stoic.  It was rare to see one show emotion.  And to show tears?  Unheard of.

My Dad always said that I might have some Native American blood in me, but it was he who taught me how to not cry.

But some day, and some day soon, as we all have little time to spend on this earth, my tears will flow, and then Jesus will be there to wipe them away.  For I will no longer need them.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.

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