Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.

• Mark 16:6

On the day that I write this, my wife is comfortably resting after having completed a full kidney dialysis session, but the day started with too much excitement.

My plan was to wash two loads of laundry: clothing and towels.  I wanted to go to the department store for my favorite sparkling water.  I cannot stand the bitterness of the seltzers, so it is to one store that I go for my beverages.  Alas, with the laundry, I could not squeeze both in while my wife was at dialysis, but God has a way of “fixing” things.  I woke up about thirty minutes early.

The extra thirty minutes might give me enough time to wash both loads of clothing before we left for dialysis.  Then, I could have the clothing in the back of the SUV, drop by for my beverages and my wife’s orange juice and maybe pick up a pharmacy item or two.  Then have the clothing dried at the laundromat on the way home.  I hustled.  I got the laundry ready to take to the car, but then I noticed that the car was covered in a half-inch of snow.  So, laundry in, scraper and brush out. Swish – Swish that done too.

Okay, I had to go to the bathroom, we might be a minute late.  My wife was using the facilities downstairs, so I climbed the stairs.  Not wanting to rush my wife, although we were a little late and with snow on the road, we should have left early, but I did not remind her we needed to leave.  She was ready, all except her coat.  I was going to go out and do a legitimate brushing of the snow.  I hate it when people put me in a fog because they did not clean their car properly.  I was not going to do that to them.

But I did not look at my watch.  I was in such a hurry, that added task might throw the whole thing into a tailspin.  But then, with my wife not in the kitchen getting her coat on, I trudged through the house to the master bedroom.

She was lying face-up on the bed.  Her chest was not moving to indicate breathing.  Her mouth did not move either.  Her eyes were rolled into the top of her head.  My worst fears flashed before my eyes.

I shook her shoulder.  I yelled, “Are you here with me?  Are you here with me?  Are you here with me?”

On the third time, her eyes fluttered, and she said something incoherent.

I asked more questions, and she slurred her words, but I figured out that she had fallen asleep – while standing up.  I have accused her of doing that for nearly our entire married life and now I had proof.

I asked what medicine she had taken.  Nothing except the pink stuff for an upset stomach and her usual, diarrhea.  I asked her about her pain medicine.  She swore she had not taken it.

With recent issues, I have gotten good at using leverage to get her to her feet.  Her legs suddenly turned to jelly, and I had to hold her for a while.  With her feet under her, I walked, and she held on, and we reached the kitchen.  I got her coat on her, but she was still out of it, awake, but gone.

She held on while I got her to the SUV and then she could not do anything but sit in the passenger seat with her legs dangling out of the vehicle.  I forcefully got each leg into the car and closed the door.  I noticed she was wearing dainty little dress shoes and not her snow boots.  I told her that we were going to the hospital instead of dialysis.  As I drove, I asked her if she was awake every mile or so, just to reassure myself.  I usually only got a grunt in return.  Halfway to the hospital, her head started to clear.  She corrected what she said earlier.  She had taken her pain killer, but only immediately before she went to the bathroom, not thinking it would work that fast.  She then walked around the bed and could not remember anything.  She asked, “Where are we?  Where are we going?”  She had no memory of me getting her to the SUV.

I told her which highway, and the destination of the ER.

She insisted that we go to dialysis, which a left hand turn less than a mile ahead would accomplish.  I had already told the dialysis people where we were going, so I had my wife call them back.  By now, her head was clear.

From that moment on everything was back to plan A, other than delayed by about 45 minutes.  I had to get her a wheelchair.  Her blood pressure was too low to start dialysis, but within 10-15 minutes, she was fine.  The nurses fussed because she should have gone to the ER, and it took three nurses to take care of her instead of one nurse for several people.  But she made it through everything.  Other than being really tired she is perfectly fine – other than lingering shingles, respiratory problems that persist, and the diarrhea.  Since this was two weeks ago, I will know tomorrow whether she made it to church with me.

But when I did my shopping, I walked past the greeting cards.  I bought her a Valentine’s card and a red and white puppy dog (stuffed animal).  I wrote “I thought I had lost you.  If you want to go be with Jesus, who am I to say no.  But know that as long as you live, I love you with all my heart.”

Notice the words that the angel used regarding Jesus.  “He has risen.  He is not here.”

And what did I yell at my wife’s motionless body?  “Are you here with me?”

I think if it happened for real, I would still freak out, but I had this calm about me.  I thought that if her body was dead, she would already be with Jesus.

And afterward, I realized that my old CPR training was in action.  Shout!  See if you get a response, and check for breathing.

Praise the Lord!  I only got to the shouting and a cursory look for a sign of breathing.  She had taken her pain killer too quickly on a relatively empty stomach, and she had simply fallen asleep – standing up.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.