A Stinking Pajama Party – An Easter and Jemima Adventure

I’m Easter Yeggs, son of Detective Staff Sergeant Deviled Yeggs and Dr. Trinity Naomi Tesla, that’s TNT, Yeggs, PhD and many other initials, but most people call her Glyce, pronounced “Gliss,” since it is short for Nitroglycerin. She explodes when shaken.

Mom, I know that I disappointed Dad by calling his report system stupid.  Is he still angry?  Since then, you are the only one who has responded to my reports, but he is the one who insisted on them.  My sixth sense that says “Young man, you are in deep trouble” is hammering me pretty bad.

But as for me, I am writing two reports for weather observations for my college class on storm chasing.  We saw rime ice soon after it formed.  At first glance, it looks like someone flocked the trees, or the trees were hit by wet snow and it stuck to everything, but it was simply supercooled water droplets in the air that stuck to whatever surface was cold enough to take on ice.  Beautiful but dangerous as limbs would get heavy and break.  There were some communities without power, but the phenomenon was limited to a small area.  The usual method of rime ice forming is freezing fog.

My other report will be on driving through Freezing Fog.  Nasty!  The road was warm enough to not freeze over.  The windshield was warm enough to not simply become a solid layer of ice, but visibility due to some ice forming on the windshield and the fog itself made that little drive down a country road into a small valley a drive that I would not like to repeat.  Before I wrote this report, I had to get the windshield wipers replaced during the latest turtle service.

Jemi joked that she could submit some blank pieces of paper and submit them for her photography professor to study.  About the same thing, but her problem was that the lenses of the cameras on the roof of the turtle were iced over, and if anything had a clear lens, there was nothing to focus the lens on.

And for my reports, Dr. Quinn acknowledged that my hands were full while driving and I could use Jemi’s photographs, as long as I documented the source like you do on term papers and such.   Jemi got a good photo of the fog filling the valley before we got into the fog and a couple of photos of the windshield as it started to crust over in spots.

And Jemi’s photography professor is not impressed with her time lapse photography of storms forming.  When he says “live action” he means some animal that is alive.  In one of our down days, she put some bird seed on the balcony table and set up her cameras.  She got some great photos of a few sparrows.  It was cold and windy.  They ate some of the seed and then perched on the balcony railing with their feathers fluffed out.  They do that to warm the air next to their bodies.  The more fluffy they get, the more warmer air, and thus a warmer sparrow.  But it looks strange.

And Jemi and Dr. Quinn have been working on the justification that we call it the TURTLE.  So far, they have TRUST, University Research Timed Live Environment.  It doesn’t flow very well, but Dr. Quinn thinks “Turtle” does not sound like an official university experiment station, even though we can drive to the side of the road and hide underneath our shell (wind skirts and impact shields to protect the windows).  With the name of the university being the first letter, it cannot be the T.R.U.S.T. Turtle.  I guess that is a work in progress.

On the Geoffrey front, he had a meltdown at the worst time, but he did better later that day.  Our week started south of the front line in the severe weather side.  We were “blessed” with a tornado, up close and personal.  Too close.  I yelled for instructions.  The visibility was bad and the tornado suddenly shifted direction.  Geoffrey had the maps on his screen with the radar going, but he said nothing.  I yelled again.  Jemi said that we needed to turn left if there was a place to turn.  Then Dr. Quinn said that there seemed to be a farm road about two to three hundred yards ahead.  It might be a long driveway past a farmhouse, but it connected with another farm road that was out of the danger zone.  She told me to speed up.  Geoffrey then protested that the turtle could not make a turn that sharp if I sped up.  Then Dr. Quinn complimented me, and it felt good.

She said, “Know the capabilities of your driver, Geoffrey, crew number one has a careful driver who does everything proper and professional.  Easter is trained in acrobatics and stunt driving.  It may look unsafe, but he will get us closer to the storm and back out safely.  Your job is to be his eyes when the visibility is not that good.”

Somewhere during the time that she said that, I had started a drift, sliding the tires sideways a little and then I punched it down what was no wider than a driveway.  It was the hardest that I have pushed the turtle since the latest modifications.  I wonder if “Design by Tensie” could create a dynamic gyroscopic counterweight shifting device?  It might require a lot of intense test driving, but with all the specially designed gear on board, I need to keep all the wheels on the road.  As Dr. Quinn said, the side road went past a farmhouse.  We hoped they were in their safe place, but the tornado missed the house anyway.  We sped to the next farm road and I turned right with the tornado behind us.  Jemi will send some great photos.  The tornado did some plowing for the farmer, but only damaged a few trees, an EF1 as it turned out.

There were other spin ups later in the day, and my communications with Geoffrey were on target.  I think he might make a good storm chaser teacher and leader of a team.

But the following is a very surprising conversation as part of Jemima’s girl talks with Dr. Quinn, reported in dialogue format.

Jemi: Why did you want me to come over in my pajamas, ready for bed?
Dr.Q: This may be a long session tonight.  And young lady, excuse me, Jemi, before we get started, I want to change your nickname.  From now on you will be called “Stinker” in our little girl talks.
Jemi: Stinker?!
Dr.Q: Do you not understand the word?
Jemi: Oh, I understand the word.  My grandmother would call me that when I was doing something that might get me into trouble.
Dr.Q: I cannot imagine you ever doing anything that got you into trouble.
Jemi: Ellie, I am human.  I make mistakes.  In fact, children who are PK often get into trouble just to get into trouble.
Dr.Q: PK?
Jemi: Yeah, Preacher’s kids.  You have to be perfect all the time to show how well your father is teaching at home what he preaches, or these days it could be mother in some churches.  It seems oppressive when all your friends are having fun, and the fun isn’t that bad, but you cannot participate.  So, often when alone or with a conspiring friend, you do something stupid, just to get that oppressed feeling to dissipate.
Dr.Q: You poor dear. (snickering).  But my reason for calling you Stinker is that before our first girl talk, my worldview was working out just fine.  My mother was a single mom.  She said that she ran my father off before I was born.  Knowing how she acted like she knew everything, I could see her doing it.  But she taught me a few things about sex.  It was fun to do if you took precautions.  I should never do it if there was a chance of an emotional connection.  I think that is how I came along actually.  And once I had a reputation for not needing much encouragement to get me into bed, she taught me to be selective, some for pleasure and some for advancing my career.  But you ruined it with one question.
Jemi: What was that?
Dr.Q: No, that was not the question.  Our first talk, you asked if my lifestyle had gotten me anywhere?  Or maybe where was it going?  But I knew what you meant, the long run.  What was my purpose?
Jemi: I might have meant the here and now.  Remember, I am a virgin, and in some cases, I just want to know.  But looking back, that was probably what I meant.
Dr.Q: Yeah, and I had just had a tryst with a graduate student.  He may be a graduate assistant who teaches classes, but he is still a student.  I had crossed a line to find out if the rumors about his prowess and stamina were true.  And afterwards, I felt used and abused.  He was what people said he was, but he was not gentle or loving.
Jemi: And there was no future in it?
Dr.Q: And that is what got me.  That week in the motel, I thumbed through the Bible in the nightstand drawer.  I had never read one in my life.  I had no idea where to even start.  And I did not want you to teach me.  That meant that you would know that I was unsure about my worldview that I had been taught since my birth.
Jemi: Do I threaten you?  I just asked a question, trying to figure things out for myself.  After all, my father taught me the Christian worldview, and also the Christian worldview about sex and marriage specifically.  Hearing your view would broaden my knowledge.  It would not change my view.  Jesus is in my heart to stay, but I could understand you better.
Dr.Q: And you did just that.  Our next few girl talks have been about how Evolution is wrong, how the earth is not millions of years old, and all kinds of interesting things.  Even why bad things happen when God is good.  At first, I do not know if I bought much of it, but I researched what you were saying in our down time.  And your arguments are quite compelling.  But I want to know what you did to me in the first place.  How can a Stinker do that?  I was happy with my life, and after you asked me that, I shoved Geoffrey away, and I have not looked at another man in that manner since.  How did that happen?  I even feel like I have a slight touch of the flu, but I am not running a fever.  I just feel a little sick.  What did you do to me, Stinker?
Jemi: I asked an honest question, but what is going on inside you is a part of what God does, especially when He wants you to be a part of His kingdom.  He knows you and He knows what you have done, and He knows what you will do, maybe soon.  It is the Holy Spirit convicting you of your sin, and yes, it does not feel that good to know that we have made mistakes.  Ellie, you have not said much about your illicit past.  Try me.  I can be a good sounding board.
Dr.Q: I mentioned that my mother wanted me to have sex with those who could help my career.  I slept with a few teachers.  One was a college meteorology professor.  He convinced me to transfer to meteorology.  He thought I would make a great weather girl on TV.  I went to the University at the state capitol.  After one year of basically learning the meteorology terminology, at nineteen years old, I walked into the news director’s office at one of the television stations and told him that I was his late night weather girl.  He spluttered that I was too young and had no degree.  My reply was to take my clothes off and tell him that once we were done on the couch, we could talk salary.
Jemi: (snickering) No way!  You didn’t!
Dr.Q: I did, and I got the job.  I seduced through the camera lens.  Ratings went wild.  I slept with a few potential sponsors.  I threw away the tons of marriage proposals.  I also got hate mail, but somehow that encouraged me all the more.  The RV Rental company owner bedded me down in one of his RVs and insisted I branch out beyond weather.  I became the Saturday night movie host, the Seductress of the Night.
Jemi: Oh, no, I saw that show, but you are a blonde and she was a redhead.
Dr.Q: Have you ever heard of a wig? The woman who plays Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, is blonde but black-haired on screen.  The sponsors and producer thought red was the thing for a seductress.  And did you like the show when I was bald?
Jemi: I loved it.  I have never seen a bald wig that looked that real.
Dr.Q: The joke was for me to make snarky comments about being scalped like the girl in the movie and wind would come up and blow my red wig off.  We could never get it to work right.  The bald wig would shift, making it obvious that I was not bald and most of the time they could tell I was blonde.  So, I had them shave my head and they gave me a blonde wig until my hair grew back.
Jemi: No!!!!
Dr.Q: Anything for show business as they say.  But wait!  You are this prim proper virgin and every one of those movies was just one small clip away from being taken off the air.
Jemi: I told you.  I was a P.K.  They came on late on Saturday night.  My Dad had finished writing his sermon and he and Mom went to bed early since Sunday was a long day at the office, so to speak.  For my guilty pleasure, I snuck down to the family room and I turned the volume down really low.  I watched the show mostly for your comments.  I was feeling so empowered with my naughtiness.  I wanted to be like you when I grew up, but then I eventually grew out of it.
Dr.Q: But you never acted on it?
Jemi:  Umm.  There was once with Easter when we first started real dating.  We met during the lockdown, so we knew each other pretty well when we were actually dating.  We were babysitting Easy’s little brother and sister and then when they went to bed, I offered to take my sweater off, and Easy said it wasn’t a good idea.  We argued, but I kept my clothes on.  His parents found out through a hidden camera in the room.  Not spying, just a policeman playing with security cameras.  That led to my Dad creating a series of “relationship” Bible lessons.  I think he may publish it, but Easter and I were his Guinea Pigs and the course stuck.  No more PK antics, but I do get tempted.
Dr.Q: At first, I thought Easter to be a dopey college freshman, but once I got to know him, he is quite a catch.  And he already knows more about meteorology than I did as a college senior, and you two are freshmen.
Jemi: Correction.  We are technically a few credits short of juniors.  There were AP classes in high school.  We tested out of classes.  We used our SAT scores to get credit for other classes.  And we are taking a full load by correspondence and online classes this semester while getting credits for the storm chasing.
Dr.Q: Now I feel like the dummy in the turtle. … No. There still is Geoffrey, but he will be transferring to the other crew the next time we get close enough to Tracy to stop in for a change of clothing.  I have arranged for student volunteers instead of Dr. Ben Casey.
Jemi: I thought Ben Casey was your away from home love interest.
Dr.Q: But I have this Stinker who has me swearing off that until I figure things out. Stinker, how can I make this bad feeling go away?
Jemi: If God wants you, and I think He does, it will not go away until you accept Him into your life.  He loves you as you are, but He will clean house.  You will have to repent and turn from sin.  Maybe not all at once, but one piece at a time.  And because you love God, you will want to repent.  I heard an old pastor who said if the sanctification were all at once, we would see all our sins in one big bunch and fall over dead from the weight of it.  But eventually, God will make us usable for His kingdom and then more like Jesus until we die.
Dr.Q: I cannot believe I am saying this, but I have been reading that Bible ever since and I want that.
Jemi: The same Bible?  That was in a motel several weeks and a couple thousand miles ago?
Dr.Q: Yeah, I read about stealing, but I think I need to straighten out my sex life first.
Jemi: (laughing) I have met a few Gideons and stolen Gideon Bibles are considered a good thing.  They hope they are being read.
Dr.Q: This one is.  So, Stinker, what is next?
Jemi: This may sound strange, but there is this salvation prayer, as they call it.  You recognize that you are a sinner in need of salvation.  You recognize that you are helpless in reaching God on your own merit.  You recognize that Christ died for your sins, and that believing and trusting in Him is the only way to Heaven.  And then you surrender to Him.  But I do not want you praying that prayer until you know the Him that you are praying to.
Dr.Q: I thought evangelists were quick to make the sale.  And as for being a sinner, I could lift up the Bible as proof.  I want the sick feeling to go away.
Jemi: But can we bring Easter into this and have some Bible lessons?
Dr.Q: Bring a guy into our girl talk time?!
Jemi: No, an additional time with the three of us.
Dr.Q: Why him?
Jemi: He has a way with words at times.  That way, you have two people answering your questions.  And frankly, I think you might be trusting in Jesus now.  Only God knows your heart, but new Christians need Christian friends and a church family.  While storm chasing, the church family may not be possible, but Easy and I can be your family until we get back to TRUST for the fall semester.
Dr.Q: Okay, let’s go find that driver of ours.

Jemi opened the door to the motel room.  I was in the process of starting to knock and I almost knocked her.

“Sorry, ladies, but I just got the turtle serviced and there was this popcorn shop across the street.  Do you want caramel corn, kettle corn, cheese-flavored, strawberry yogurt flavored, chocolate coated caramel corn or extra butter?”  They attacked me like wild wolves that hadn’t eaten in a month.

They invited me in and caught me up on Dr. Quinn’s confession.  She even added that she had gotten her master’s degree there, and then when people on the street started recognizing her as the Seductress, she quit show business entirely and got her doctorate at T.R.U.S.T.  We had a Bible study, starting in the book of Luke, since Ellie is a scientist, and Ellie asked a lot of questions.  We may not be to the book of John by the time we get home.

And, Mom, I had seen some of those movies myself, doing like Jemi did, sneaking into the den late at night.  I thought Dr. Quinn looked like her, but that is just one of those questions that a polite freshman or sophomore in college does not ask his professor.

And her parting words that night were, “And, Easter. If I hear anything about Seductress of the Night or Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, or you singing any of the lyrics of the Oak Ridge Boys song, Elvira, you are a dead man.  Even if it is just the ‘giddy up, giddy up’.“  But then she laughed, so I do not know if the threat really holds water.  But Mom, I am a gentleman, at least at times, so I will hold my tongue.  Besides, an “A” in the course is better than getting a fat lip when she punches me in the face.


For videos about the song, Elvira, or a clip featuring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, here is a link to the last Easter and Jemima Adventure. Click HERE.

The photo is a late fall snow.  The snow was extremely wet.  The same kind of look with only ice could be formed by rime ice, but from a distance and just by appearance, it could be freezing rain or even freezing fog.

And Glyce wants you to know that Easter is not in trouble with his Dad, but both parents love the idea that Easter is squirming a bit over disrespecting his Dad’s report writing idea.  And the last line made Glyce feel like she had raised her son well.

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