Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

This is yet another follow up to the follow up regarding Joseline and Kevin, specifically Joseline’s birthday party.

We threw a few things together, but I never thought I would get the reaction from Joseline that we got.  She was so overcome by everything, but then, she had some announcements to make too.  But we started with a big meal that Gwen had prepared for about fifty or sixty of Joseline’s closest friends (almost all being Lily the Pink employees).  Then Mabel rolled out a cake that might feed one hundred.  While people ate cake, Emmett, Menzie, and the jazz band from the Snazzy Taz practiced.

The nature of the practice was mostly telling Menzie when to come in and when to step away for the band to do some improvisation.  She flubbed a couple of times, but she was a quick learner.

While they were entertaining us while practicing, Sophie cordoned off the stage like she envisioned the security at the Snazzy Taz.  The only incident, and the only bra that made it onto the stage, was the best entertainment of the night.  Emmett stopped playing and yelled, “MOM!?”  His mother said that she threw him an old bra, and she only did it so that she could test Sophie’s security team.  She wanted her baby to be safe.  That was the comedy for the night.

Menzie sang a few hits from Ella Fitzgerald.  She then went to a few hits from Sarah Vaughan.  Then the encore included songs written by Peggy Lee, and a couple of Rosemary Clooney hits.  I asked Emmett why she did not sing any Lena Horne hits, and Emmett said that when she sings Lena Horne, she imitates Lena Horne, almost perfectly.  But a tribute should be in the former singer’s style, but with your own voice.  He said that once she gets that down, her Lena Horne songs will become a hit.

Outside of extended family, the Niblicks, a few stray storm chasers that had the time off, and Joseline’s parents, the rest of the huge crowd were Lily the Pink employees.  No, I did not pay them to be there, but Sophie paid a few to try to break through the security people to reach the foot of the stage.  Emmett’s mother was not the only one concerned about safety, and with Emmett and Menzie underage on stage, and Sophie underage running the security team, made up of retired and off-duty police personnel, there were a few more people concerned about security.  This dry run helped Sophie get the feel for running an event security team.  And the employees pretending to be groupies throwing bras at Emmett’s feet had a blast.

Then after opening a lot of presents that she did not expect, I handed Joseline the microphone.  The idea was that after she said thank you, we’d hand it back over to Emmett to play a strictly instrumental set with the jazz band and maybe encourage people to dance.  I did not expect what I heard from Joseline.

Joseline cleared her throat, “Before I get around to what I wanted to say, who gave me the huge box of naughty lingerie?”

A dozen people said, “The company president, Gwen Quinn.  You were not supposed to open that one until much later, like your honeymoon.”

Joseline said, “Oops, sorry, but I am just amazed that she got my size right.  I mean, my size is not one you see every day.  Everything was probably custom made.”

Gwen smiled and nodded.

Joseline blew her a kiss, “Thank you.  I may scare Lauren and Sammie, but I want to try all of it on before the wedding.”

She stopped to cry.  Then, she cleared her throat again, “Kevin and I have been here about a month.  When I saw Mabel’s cake, I told her it was far too big, but there is hardly any of it left.  I was not expecting presents.  I had only invited the high school students that are here, full time and part time, and the middle school students.  I also invited all the medical and safety personnel and my parents.  You see, I have not had a birthday party in over ten years.  My mother has her reasons, but she dressed me frumpy and taught me to be grumpy.  That is not a combination that makes friends.  My mother’s idea was that the boy of my dreams would see through the facade, and Kevin did that.  With the abuse for being a big woman and smarter than most others and not being very likeable, I had a big speech planned for graduation night if I got to be valedictorian, but I am in the process of rewriting that speech, and it really does not matter now, if I get that honor or it is Kevin.  Do not worry, Mom, I am still making a perfect grade in all my subjects, and we only have about a month left.”

She looked down to organize her thoughts.  “I would like to give a short testimony.  When Kevin and I went off to the math conference, we discovered our love for each other.  My mother had taught me that once I knew who ‘the one’ was, I should throw caution to the wind and make a baby.  My purpose in life was to make another girl offspring with the same characteristics as my mother and me.  I know, genetics do not usually work that way, but it did for Mom and me.  Anyway, one of the four parents got upset and to avoid a media firestorm, Pink Lady invited us to stay here until after graduation.  We attended vespers services.  Neither Kevin nor I had ever had a thought about God, but within a week, I was wondering if I had a different purpose in life.  It was like all the vespers speakers were preaching to just Kevin and me.  Kevin took a little longer to understand, but we have both accepted Jesus into our lives.  Nothing else has changed.  He wants to be an engineer.  He has this crazy idea of designing things like some engineer named ‘Tensie,’ whoever he is.  I still want to be a doctor, probably a surgeon.  But I don’t know of many surgeons who started researching medical mission fields before they ever finished high school.  I am on fire for Jesus, and I want my life to count.  And, yes, Mom, we will, with God’s help, get that girl child for you.”

She started crying again.  Kevin came up and wrapped his arms around her.  She whispered but the mike picked it up.  “Kevin, I am just so overcome.  The presents.  All these people just for my birthday.  What Mommie Pinkie said this morning.  It’s just too much too fast.  My head is spinning.”  Kevin gave her a big hug and a long kiss.

Joseline cleared her throat again.  “Since I was officially eighteen today, Mommie Pinkie drove us to the courthouse and Kevin and I both registered to vote.  We will miss the primary, but we can vote in the general election in November.  Mommie Pinkie told us to write down an apartment number that we were not familiar with as our address.  On the way back here, to our home, I told Mommie Pinkie that we as a couple had three questions.  She nodded with a smile.  My first question was whether we could continue working here at Lily the Pink after we completed our high school work.  She nodded that we could.  Then I asked if we could have our wedding here.  She again nodded.  Then I asked if we could live here through our college years, that is, if we kept our employment here also.  You know, have an apartment for the two of us after we get married.”

Joseline then said, “Mommie Pinkie said, ‘Neither of you asked me where the apartment was that is now on your voter registration.  Once you are married, you will have the apartment next to Easter and Jemima.  I thought two young couples starting families could do so together.’  Mommie Pinkie is amazing.  She knew we would ask all three questions and she already had the answers before we asked.  Maybe that is what a CEO does.  All I know is that I have a new Mommie to go along with my real Mom.  I love you both.  But our wedding will be small, so maybe Mabel can make a smaller cake.”

I interrupted, “A bigger cake!  We might idle the process line so that nearly everyone on all shifts can attend.  Neither of you have siblings.  You now have family.”  A huge cheer seemed to shake a mist of water from the overhead sluices, but it was really one of the manmade weather phenomena that Dr. Kildare was studying.

Joseline started crying again.  She had gone from no friends to one lover to a family of employees and family members that numbered nearly one hundred, all in a month’s time.  And she and Kevin had accepted Jesus.  This past month was worth the risks we had taken.

Jemima approached the stage and signaled Joseline if she could speak.

Joseline said, “My new neighbor has an announcement, and Kevin and I are looking forward to the same idea helping us.”

Jemima giggled, “You can turn the cameras on for the reality TV program.  I have a confession to make.  We had a five-person team go on a storm chasing mission during Spring Break.  It was a chance to get some footage for the reality television show that is connected to the Storm Chasing Channel.  Easy and I were in the front seat.  In back were Home Wrecker, B.B., and B.B.’s boyfriend, now fiancé, Joseph.”

Jemima paused, “You might think that was a dream team of sorts.  At least there were moments that the two couples had during the trip, but the other three thought that Easter and I were having the blessings of a marriage union each night, but we were not.  We abstained from such activity.  We have been trying to get pregnant and everyone has had their advice on the subject.  Mama Missy told us to think less and enjoy more.  And that was great advice, and an old lady that I talked to in the park a few weeks ago said that she did not think she would have ever gotten pregnant if it were not for her husband’s military service.  He would go off on military maneuvers and then they would enjoy his return home.  Then nine months later, the next child came into the world.  Her idea was that while a man can perform, maybe the man cannot produce as many swimmers as she called it.  So, we tried that.  Easy built up the swimmer population, and we had a grand time upon returning from the storm-chasing expedition.  And just before Joseline knocked on the door, she heard me screaming. I am pregnant!”

The roar from the crowd was deafening.

When the crowd calmed down, Easter yelled, “Kevin, you might need to take a few cold showers each day to make it through until your wedding day.”

I looked back at Joseline.  She was giving presents to Menzie and Kevin to help her open them, and Missy had a notebook to record who gave what.  Joseline, without having friends in the past, was about to be introduced to the need to send Thank You cards.

So, besides Menzie getting to practice with the band, Joseline found family.  The waiting to get married was no problem anymore, and Jesus was in their lives.  This was a very special birthday indeed.

Then to find out that after months of trying, Easy and Stinker were expecting.  Hmmm.  Easy Stinker.  A skunk stinks easily.  Nope, I will not suggest it.

Credits

Here is Ella Fitzgerald singing Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.

Here is Ella Fitzgerald singing Moonlight in Vermont. This recording is during the time she and Louis Armstrong were collaborating. Louis Armstrong plays the trumpet and then sings with her about halfway through.

Here is Sarah Vaughan singing Body and Soul.  Sarah won a talent contest at the Apollo singing Body and Soul.  She had accompanied another singer who got second place the week before, and she got the idea of playing and singing. In this video, she goes back to her beginning.  At one point, she says “Shut up” to the person holding the microphone.  Sarah was nicknamed “Sassy” for her on stage persona.

Here is Sarah Vaughan singing The Man I Love.

My wife was convinced that abstinence, for a short while, led to both pregnancies.  She tied the second pregnancy directly to me leaving for two weeks on military maneuvers.