Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

• Romans 8:5-8

The Lord will afflict you with madness, blindness and confusion of mind.

• Deuteronomy 28:28

“Poor boob—he thought his mind was his own. Never his own until he makes it Christ’s; up till then, merely a result of heredity, environment, the state of his digestion. I became my own only when I gave myself to Another.”

• C. S. Lewis, Letters of C. S. Lewis (17 July 1953)

My mind was frazzled on the day I wrote this.  I started early that day to write the Bible study that appeared this morning.  In the meantime, my urologist asked his nurse to call me to ask me if I felt okay.  I told her that I think I do, and if you need me to confuse you more, I could probably do so.  She read back to me what she would tell the doctor and he never called back.  But I thought I was okay last December, but I ended up in emergency surgery.  I felt great after the surgery, but it was only the first of four procedures, all of them with me being anesthetized.  Then I felt even better, but the doctor told me I had a massive infection.  The bloodwork afterwards showed that cancer was not an immediate concern, but the numbers were still elevated.  Now, even though I feel okay, do I take another thirty days of antibiotics and all the side effects that causes?  Maybe he will call next week, or he could wait for me to come back to his office in another five months.

Note: The doctor called the next week, and I am back on another month of high doses of antibiotics. There was improvement, but not enough to satisfy the doctor. Okay, I still have occasional night sweats. When the pharmacist asked why another month, showing sincere concern, I told her about the night sweats and she said, “Welcome to menopause.” Was it concern or was she itching to deliver the punchline?

Then my sister was concerned about all the writing that I do.  Her husband said, “Even God rested on the seventh day.”  I said I get my rest in unexpected spurts.  I will sit down to catch my breath and then somebody sneaks into the house and advances all the clocks by two hours.  Either that or I fell asleep. Really, between Saturday and Sunday, I do not write very much. I am mindful that I need rest, and I make up for the resting during the week.

But when you write, your mind should be your own, right?  Well, I have written about how some of my best stories are when my mind says that the story has ended but my fingers keep typing.  So, is my mind really what does the writing?

I would not be writing a blog if it were not for God giving me four distinct thoughts in my mind.  Do not worry about the finances. Go where they are.  They are on the internet.  Write a blog.

Or something along those lines.  But sometimes I wonder if the curse in Deuteronomy has hit me.  God is confusing my mind.  But the quote from Romans ties into the C. S. Lewis quote.

We really have no control over our minds.  Our minds have a mind of their own and sin nature takes up a lot of that time before God calls us to be His own.  In the early years, parents fill your mind with things.  The church fills your mind with things.  School fills your mind with things.  Scouting, for me, filled my mind with things. Sports, also. I think C. S. Lewis was correct in The Screwtape Letters when Screwtape tells Wormwood that their best work, as demons, is to keep things out of our minds.

And then, when I accepted Jesus, when I surrendered, my whole essence of my being changed.  I am a servant of God.

I wanted to write when I was in middle school and early in high school.  “My mind” was filled with stories.  But the greatest story is actually the act of writing.

The old cartoon shows the flowchart of a project with all the lines converging into one task.  The task is titled “And then a miracle happens.”  I laughed at it in college, but I fought against that part of the flowchart throughout my entire career.  I wanted everything to work so that a miracle was not needed.

Now, as I walk around the house, praying, looking for inspiration, I count on miracles happening every day.  I cannot prove they are miracles, but if they come up with a way of reading “your” mind, then hook me up to the machine, and you will believe in miracles.  My mind is full of them, for I have surrendered the possessive pronoun for my mind to God.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.