Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

• 1 Corinthians 7:8

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

• Colossians 3:1-4

“At last she asked me, ‘Why did you never marry?’
“ ‘Because,’ I said, ‘the Lord had other plans for me than married life.’
“ ‘Did you ever fall in love and lose someone, as I have?’ she asked bitterly.
“ ‘Yes,’ I said sadly. ‘I know the pain of a broken heart.’
“ ‘But you were strong, weren’t you,’ she said in biting tones.
“ ‘You were willing to let God have His way in your life?’
“ ‘Oh, no, not at first,’ I said. ‘I had to fight a battle over it. I was twenty-three. I loved a boy and believed he loved me. But I had no money and he married a rich girl.’ …
“I spoke to the missionary. ‘There are some, like me, who are called to live a single life,’ I said softly. ‘For them it is always easy for they are, by their nature, content. Others, like Ellen, are called to prepare for marriage which may come later in life. They, too, are blessed, for God is using the in-between years to teach them that marriage is not the answer to unhappiness. Happiness is found only in a balanced relationship with the Lord Jesus.’
“ ‘But it is so hard,’ she said, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘That is so,’ I said. ‘The cross is always difficult. But you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God’ (Colossians 3:3). Dear girl, it cannot be safer. That part of you which would cling to a husband is dead. Now you can move into a life where you can be happy with or without a husband—secure in Jesus alone.’ ”

• Corrie ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord

Corrie ten Boom has some jumps and backtrails in her book.  She has a chapter about the death of Conny in the first half of the book, but then Conny reappears.  She had probably written a shorter book and the publishers asked her to add more experiences.  Then, rather than put them in chronological order, they added the extra chapters to the end.  We must consider how books were published before the days of word processors and now word processing software on a computer.

So we finally come to the end of Conny being Tante Corrie’s assistant.  She is replaced by Ellen.  At this point, Conny had retired from missionary work to get married.  With all concerned now passed to the Lord, we may never know that part of her decision to marry was due to Conny feeling inadequate assisting such an evangelist as Corrie ten Boom, last week’s post on being the Light.

But this chapter is focused on Ellen lamenting that she has not found a husband.  It seems in the way that she uses biting words regarding Tante Corrie’s unmarried life that she has deep seated anger issues, but she eventually calms that anger with filling her heart with love.  That comes later.

After the first confrontation, Tante Corrie goes on to say that her old boyfriend presents his rich wife to her.  He tells them that they should become friends.  Tante Corrie had not yet resolved to live an unmarried life and this confrontation was a bitter pill to swallow.  If you want more information on her romance and the aftermath, you can read about that in The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom’s first book.

But as Tante Corrie prayed, she heard God’s voice, and realized she was meant to be secure in Jesus.  She was not telling Ellen that she would not find a husband ever, but she was saying that one can be content and secure in Jesus Christ alone.

I was a bit immature when I graduated college.  I was extremely naive in that I had lived all my life in a cocoon of my mother’s making.  Yes, I graduated tops in my class at the university in my field, and I was commissioned as an Army officer.  You would think that I had it all together, but my brother’s wife could not have any more children, and my parents brooded over me not being able to have two dates with the same girl.  They wanted that male grandson.  The pressure was on me, but then my brother divorced his first wife and married another, producing the heir.  But I was already married by then.  When romance was concerned, I was a failure.  And with the Vietnam War over, it looked like I would be shipped out to Germany (West Germany) once my graduate school deferment was over.  I did not feel confident in being alone in a foreign country.

Then meeting a woman who had lived in the Netherlands and could speak a few languages, I felt a lot safer, if the Army sent me there.  And they did.  Do not think this was the only reason for us to marry.  We loved each other, and that love grew stronger as time went on.  And I was still a “failure” when it came to romance, in that my wife loved my quirks, my idiosyncrasies, and me just being weird.  But what Tante Corrie said about being secure in Jesus Christ was lacking in each of us.

I may have grown more in faith if I had not married my wife.  Without that spouse, as a believer, it is natural to turn to Jesus for our strength.  In my life, it required major troubles, trials, and tribulations that swamped both of us, for either of us to start feeling secure in Jesus Christ alone.

When Jesus told Nicodemus the famous quote in John 3:16, He said that we need to believe.  But “believe” means to believe and trust, when you look at the original Greek.  Can you truly trust when you have a spouse by your side who stands with you?  Yes, you can, but to cement that trust in your heart may require some heavy trials.  Jesus talked about how hard it was for a rich man to enter heaven.  The rich man cannot conceive of a situation where money cannot be thrown at the problem.  Someone with many friends might not be able to conceive of a problem that cannot be solved by calling in their friends.

But to be alone, there is only Jesus to stand by us.

Jesus is enough.  I am realizing that I need interaction with other humans, but that is only to place a patch on my walk of faith.  The Scriptures talk about us being with other believers, and in those ways, I miss not having my wife to talk to.  I told her she was my muse, but often, talking to her about an idea I wished to write about caused that idea to congeal into the essay or story that it became.  All she provided was a loving ear to listen.

Lord, strengthen me.  Help me to realize that You are the only person that I need.  You are always there.  You always are ready to listen.  In spite of all that You do, Your infinite power, outside time and space, allows You to hear my prayers with an undivided attention.  No one on earth could do all that.  Thank You, and I praise your Holy Name.  In Your name I pray.  Amen.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.