Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I am Mashie Niblick.  I am presently employed as the greenskeeper of the Hoity Toity Golf and Monopoly Club in Tracy.  My other employment is as an agent for a government alphabet organization that gathers intelligence around the world. My wife, Pauline, and I are usually the people that welcome a spy who was coming out from deep cover.  But there has been a lull in our business.  Pauline welcomed a child into the family, our lovely Baffy.  She is now pregnant again.  Hugh McAdoo who would give us our weekend assignments is retired, and living two houses down from Deviled Yeggs in the next cul-de-sac.  He and his wife go by their married names, Jacob and Dinah Levy.  So, there is no person in Washington, DC to farm work out to us.  Pauline gets a monthly package by courier of coded messages to decode, or adjustments needed to the message coding system.

The last thing that I did was on the house, checking up on an old flame, Anyuta.  A year ago, I welcomed her to the house, and we talked about her boyfriend Lawrence Bedanov.  They have gotten married, and they recently returned from Latvia with two adopted children.  Anyuta cannot have children due to the manner of the torture she received while I was supposed to be protecting her.  I had been betrayed by not one, but two turncoats within the organization.  One turncoat is in prison and the other is dead, but Anyuta still feels the pain.

I had not gotten any work for some time from my old bosses.  Jacob Levy was retired.  I was wondering if my part-time spy days were over.

Then there was a knock at the door.

I looked at the security camera.  It was Anyuta and Lawrence, without the children.  Lawrence ran a farm implement business in the Latvian community, but the farmers that he supplied were over three different states.  And if you wanted a riding lawnmower, he had those too, at a reasonable price.  Lawrence had a sister, so I thought that must be where the children were.  I later learned that I was wrong.  Anyuta had asked Pink Lady for help.  The children were there.  They had a child about a year old and a newborn.

I opened the door.  “Welcome, come in.  What do I owe the pleasure?”

Anyuta said, “I do not think you will call this pleasure.  I saw the man who tortured and mutilated me.”

My heart stopped.  We had arrested the Devil, known in Tracy as George Smythe.  We had rounded up all his lieutenants.  “I thought the people who captured you and tortured you were arrested three and a half years ago.  Did you look not pick them out of a lineup?”

Note: The capture of the man from Latvia, known as the Devil there and George Smythe in Tracy, was an eight-part story starting 18 January 2021.  The Monday stories over those four weeks were written from a Deviled Yeggs point of view.  The Wednesday stories were written from a Mashie Niblick point of view.  After dating for a long time, Mashie and Pauline kiss for the first time.  We discover Pauline’s familial connection to the expanded cast of characters and how she knew GrandPa Yeggs.  And George Smythe and his lieutenants were all sent to a federal prison.  But maybe there was one lieutenant that was missing.  I will give you links to all eight episodes in the Credits section.

Now back to the story.

Anyuta replied, “Capture?  Yes!  Hold for questioning?  Yes!  Torture?  No!  That man was not with the Devil when you and Deviled Yeggs captured him.”

I asked, “You just returned from Latvia.  Did you see him there or did you see him here?”

Anyuta replied, “Yes!”

Anyuta was having trouble learning English.  Maybe she did not understand the question.

I was about to rephrase the question when Lawrence caught the confused look on my face.

Lawrence said, “Both places, Mashie.  We adopted the children.  We wanted to celebrate.  We were eating at an outdoor café when Anyuta noticed the man in Riga.  She panicked, but only for a second.  I think your training kicked in.  She pretended to take a selfie, and she took a picture of this guy in the background.  I watched him the entire time.  I do not think he noticed.  But then, yesterday, Anyuta was visiting the dealership when she saw the man again, here in Tracy.  She took pictures of him again from my office door.  The salesman that helped him told me later that he was looking for a push mower.  My salesman told him that the building supply warehouses had much better prices for those.  Since we work with farm implements, the dealers that we carry focus mostly on riding mowers for home use.  We could beat anyone’s price if he wanted to upgrade to the riding mower.  My salesman said that the customer got belligerent and looked ready to use violence.  From my viewpoint, it was decidedly ugly.  The customer said that he was hiring a youth to do the mowing, and he was not paying extra to have the boy ride.  He then stormed out.  I personally commended the salesman.  We try to do the best for the customer, but as it was, we did not get a name or address.”

They showed me the photos on her phone.  She texted them to my phone.  I pulled them up on the computer so that I could crop the photos and zoom in.

When Anyuta saw his face enlarged on the screen, she started to weep.

I said, “I am sorry, Anyuta, Lawrence.  I had to see how good the quality was.  I still know people in Washington, DC, but since he is here, I need to involve Lt. Deviled Yeggs.  I am going to set up a meeting with him and some friends a block over from here.  Can you come by tomorrow afternoon?”  I handed them the address of Jacob Levy.  I knew Jacob would be free.  He had a tee time with me.  I told them that Pauline could be there, and Baffy could meet their two children.  We would meet in a safe room where no one could hear the conversation.  My only problem was convincing Deviled that we had a member of George Smythe’s crew that had not been captured.

The next afternoon, we had a crowd in the Levy’s panic room.  The Levy’s had designed the room in case their daughter and her family were visiting at the time.  We had the Bedanovs, their two children and Jochebed Evident to act as wet nurse for the newborn.  We had Deviled and Naomi, Pauline, Baffy, and me, and the Levys, our hosts.  Jacob assured us that we would not run out of air, but it was good that we liked each other, and everyone had bathed recently.  Jacob had the photo of the suspect on his computer screen.

Jochebed raised a hand to speak before we got started.  “Mr. Levy, we met ever so briefly when Georges and I were married.  I never had a chance to thank you for everything.  You rushed the paperwork through so that I could come to America.  I would have never met Georges, and now we are expecting our first child.  I talked it over with Georges.  We would like to name our child either Jacob or Dinah, depending on gender.  Thank you for me coming to America along with Tyler Hill and his adopted children.  Thank you for arranging our marriage and our honeymoon.  We owe you so much.”

Jacob softly said, “You are quite welcome.”  Dinah went over and gave her a hug.  Dinah passed some snacks around and ice-cold water.

Jacob gained his composure.  “I want to thank Anyuta for recognizing the suspect.  I have a feeling you are frightened.  I doubt if you know who I am or was.”

Anyuta gasped, “You are Hugh McAdoo!  I heard much about you.  It was you who was in charge of the operation that got me injured.”

Jacob nodded, “I had two people that I trusted, and you were the one injured.  Will Mill is in prison and Lester has died.  But that does not make you whole.  And to find out that this person is walking the streets of Tracy, below our radar, is unacceptable.  I am retired, but I had friends back in DC run facial recognition.  His name is Janis Ivanov, sort of like John Smith in the US.  He is a small-time gunrunner.  He sells directly to people that do not wish to go through the gun control law clearance process.  He does a little more smuggling.  He has a warehouse here and another warehouse in a town outside Riga.  Since he was small time and we slipped up in connecting him to George Smythe, or what you called him in Latvia, the Devil, we have not tried to shut down his operation.  The bosses thought his business might be useful in obtaining information.”

Anyuta sputtered, “But you are boss!”

Jacob shrugged, “Everyone works for someone, Anyuta.  Because he is the person who tortured you and has caused you so much pain, we need to call him in for questioning, but we do not have any evidence that he has committed a crime in Tracy.”

Anyuta cried, “You must arrest.  You must protect.  If he recognize me, he kill me!”

Deviled Yeggs said, “We can pull him over for a broken taillight.  That trick works.  But then, we would have to know that he had incriminating evidence on him to detain him.  The crime against you happened in Riga.  Jacob could talk to people in DC to see if they could ask for extradition.”

There was a ring of the doorbell.  Dinah checked the security camera.  “Oh, dear me, Millennium Yeggs is on our front porch, and it looks like he has a large package next to him.”

Jacob said over the intercom, “Millennium, this is not a good time.  We are having a meeting in our panic room so that we will not have eavesdroppers.  Can you come back later?”

GrandPa said, “I think you are in there with my grandson, Mashie, and the Bedanovs.  You are looking for a person named Janis Ivanov.  Your search is over.  That’s my package.  Honest, I never laid a hand on him except to cuff him, and drag him a little.  He’s kind of heavy and my strength isn’t back yet.”

I said, “Well, under the circumstances, we don’t need to be in the panic room.  Let’s go out and greet Millennium, or GrandPa.  Pauline is the only one here allowed to call him the other name.”

By the time we had left the panic room, that opened into Dinah’s walk-in closet, GrandPa was already in the living room, having picked the lock for the front door.  He had dragged his prisoner, cuffed, and sitting on the floor.  He was indeed the Latvian that we were looking for.  Jochebed took the children around to the kitchen in case there would be violence or cussing.

Jacob said, “I have so many questions.  I did not know who he was or where his warehouse in Tracy was until this morning.  How did you find this pile of scum before then?”

Millennium (GrandPa) laughed, “I worked for your organization since before you were born.  I have my contacts.  No lock or alarm system can stop me.  So, it was a piece of cake.  I had to prove after my prolonged illness that I still had ‘IT’.”

Dev Yeggs groaned, “GrandPa, we were just talking about how we needed evidence of a crime, and then a warrant to act upon that evidence.  Nothing that you have gained here can be admissible.”

GrandPa said, “No worries, Grandson.  He is willing to testify against himself with the promise that he will go to a different jail than George Smythe and company and not back to Latvia either, especially not that.”

Dev turned to Janis Ivanov. “Mr. Ivanov, has this man tortured you?  Hit you? Burned you?  Tried to drown you?  Threaten you?”

Janis Ivanov spoke for the first time.  “He not touch me.  He get chain saw close to me.  Torn the cuff of pants leg.  But he never touch me.  He only made one threat.  He say his name is Millennium.  If I say Mill A, Mill B, C, or D, I live.  If I mention next mill, I die.  He say his has grandson with scar for doing that.”

Dev rubbed his nose. “Sorry, GrandPa, it has finally faded.  You can barely tell.  Glyce said it added some character.”

Pauline walked over and gave Millennium a hug.  “Millie, I love you!” She was laughing.

Jacob turned to me and asked, “What do we do now?  The way the law works here, we have a mess unless Mr. Ivanov is very cooperative.”

Millennium laughed, “I have Poached working on the evidence.  I let Captain Hart know what we were facing, imminent threat to US citizens and such.  He got a warrant from Judge Farquharson, and Poached has enough records of sales of assault weapons without proper background checks to put him away for some time.  Then, I am sure you can work with the Latvians and have smuggling charges.  And if any of you gentlemen are having problems in bed, he has enough medicine for that to cure that problem throughout the state.  He has knockoff Keto gummies too, by the truck load.”

Dev looked at Mr. Ivanov with a quizzical look.

Janis shrugged, “Easier to smuggle.  Easier to sell.  Fewer eyes looking for such things.  Good money too.”

Jacob asked, “And why do you not want to see your old boss again?”

Janis said, “He send message through lawyer.  I supposed to make small army and break him out of prison.  I decide to cut back smuggling and arms dealing to smaller operation and get all profits myself.  Not join Hoity Toity club, stay in shadows.  It work until Millennium pull me from bed last night.  Scared wife to death almost.”

I asked, “You married a local woman?”

Janis nodded, “We marry.  No kids.  Wife back in Latvia.  We have four kids.”

In hearing that he had children, Anyuta came up and slapped him hard.  Then she kicked him and stepped on his groin.  No one dared try to stop her.

Anyuta asked, “Remember me?”

Janis blinked a few times to work the tears from his eyes.  “Why should I?”

Anyuta screamed, “You tortured me.  You have children.  I cannot.  Does that help your memory?”

Janis groaned, “Not much.  That what Devil had me do many times.”  She was about to kick him again when Janis yelled, “Wait!  You!  Man over there!  You spy!  You want to marry that man.”

Anyuta said, “But I married a better man.  You tried to buy a lawn mower from him the other day.  I took your picture, and now you are going to prison where you belong.”

Janis looked at me as if to ask the question.  I said, “The moles you had paid off turned Anyuta against me.  I came here to get the evidence on your old boss.  I might not win Anyuta back, but I was definitely going to put you and your friends away.  I just didn’t know there was one last lost lieutenant.  While I worked undercover, I met my wife.  We have one child, and another is on the way.  So, life goes on.”

Anyuta turned to Lawrence. “Will you say something?”

Lawrence came forward.  “I forgive you.”  Anyuta gasped in disbelief.  “Wait, Anyuta!  Think about it.  If you had not been betrayed and this monster tortured you, you would not have believed Lester’s lies.  You would be married to a greenskeeper at a golf course, barely making a living.  Our children did not come from your womb, but they are Latvian children.  They are our children.  I would never have met you, never fallen in love with you, and I would never be spending the rest of my life with you, if it weren’t for this monster doing what he did.  Let us forgive him and walk away.  The fear of him recognizing you is over.  I am sure we may be asked to give statements, but let’s get our children and go home for now.  Our home, with our children.”

Pauline said, “When you leave with Jochebed, have Baffy come in here.  She has kicked and slapped eastern European bad guys before.”

I gave Pauline a hug and we laughed about the whole thing.

The front door opened, and Polly and Ruthie came in.  Ruthie said, “Oo!  Oo!  We got a call to haul away a smuggler and gunrunner.  Is this the guy?”

I asked, “Ruthie!  Your mouth isn’t wired shut!  When did that happen?”

Ruthie smiled, “Oo!  Oo!  Yesterday, Mr. Niblick!  Oo!  Oo! It’s so good to be able to talk again.”

Dev said, “And now, Oo! Oo!  The conversation in the squad room is going to improve.”

Ruthie asked, “Oo! Oo!  Who has been talking since I have been on limited work?”

Dev answered, “With Jim Wednesday gone most of the time also, we had to listen to Poached!”

GrandPa said, “You are too hard on that kid.  He’s turning into a good detective.”

With Polly and Ruthie walking the suspect to the car, I had one more question for GrandPa.  “Millennium, Ivanov said something about a chain saw.  Would that be one of mine?”

GrandPa said, “Yeah, when I cuffed him and walked him to the SUV, I took him to your old house, the Hobbit Hole.  And I duct taped him to one of your kitchen chairs.  I started asking him questions and remodeling the chair, one leg at a time.  I would take off an inch at a time, one leg at a time.  I kept repeating the questions until he could feel the wind from the chain spinning.  It’s short enough for Baffy to sit in now.  And I never had to touch him.”

Dev Yeggs grabbed Naomi (Glyce) by the arm and headed for the door.  “I want all you as witnesses.  I was gone before GrandPa said that.”

Credits

There is something called a citizens arrest, but GrandPa used breaking and entering to get to the suspect, threats, and other menaces to extract a confession, but if the smuggler, gunrunner, and torturer did not change his story, he’d still do plenty of time in prison.

The original story with a lot of backstory information can be found at the following links.

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 1

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 2

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 3

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 4

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 5

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 6

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 7

Deviled Meets the Devil – Chapter 8