Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. He said:
“May the day of my birth perish,
    and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’
That day—may it turn to darkness;
    may God above not care about it;
    may no light shine on it.
May gloom and utter darkness claim it once more;
    may a cloud settle over it;
    may blackness overwhelm it.
That night—may thick darkness seize it;
    may it not be included among the days of the year
    nor be entered in any of the months.
May that night be barren;
    may no shout of joy be heard in it.
May those who curse days curse that day,
    those who are ready to rouse Leviathan.
May its morning stars become dark;
    may it wait for daylight in vain
    and not see the first rays of dawn,
for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me
    to hide trouble from my eyes.

• Job 3:1-10

“Optimism is either a matter of accepted revelation or of temperament; to think unimpeded and remain optimistic is not possible. Let a man face facts as they really are, and pessimism is the only possible conclusion. If there is no tragedy at the back of human life, no gap between God and man, then the Redemption of Jesus Christ is ‘much ado about nothing’. Job is seeing things exactly as they are. A healthy-minded man bases his life on actual conditions, but let him be hit by bereavement, and when he has got beyond the noisy bit and the blasphemous bit, he will find, as Job found, that despair is the basis of human life unless a man accepts a revelation from God and enters into the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. It is a good thing to be careful in our judgment of other men. A man may utter apparently blasphemous things against God and we say, ‘How appalling’; but if we look further we find that the man is in pain, he is maddened and hurt by something. The mood he is talking in is a passing one and out of his suffering will come a totally different relationship to things. Remember, that in the end God said that the friends had not spoken the truth about Him, whilst Job had.”

• Oswald Chambers, Daily Thoughts for Disciples (November 9, from Baffled to Fight Better)

Have you ever felt the way that Job felt?  I may have never been in that much despair, but I have wondered why I was ever born.  My mother did not want me.  When told to take it easy and rest until the baby was born – otherwise, she might have a miscarriage – she viciously attacked every weed in the garden that day, eight-months pregnant, and she slipped a disc in her back.  The back pain was a constant reminder that I had done that.

So, yes, I have asked the question, “Why was I ever born?” And I think I have my answer that God had a purpose for me.  That motivates me to keep going.

This morning, the day writing this, I said out loud, “God, you are going to have to help me get out of bed this morning!”  This is barely past lunchtime, and I am writing my second post of the day (not scheduled for the same day).  Somehow, I started moving.  Somehow, the arthritic pain did not stop me.  Somehow, the mind stayed clear and focused.  I owe that all to God.

And the hope that I see in tomorrow is a hope that I can glorify God even more tomorrow, and the day after.

I have heard people complain about that “feeling” that they had when they were first saved, and how it is gone.  I felt that feeling a lot on the lay witness mission circuit, but that feeling comes and goes.  Yet, I have gotten goosebumps just sitting at the computer, maybe in the midst of pain, and I write something that I had not intended, and I read over it, and it was better than what I had intended.  I can only look toward God and say, “Thank You.”

God gives us gifts too often for the Hope that we have in Christ to be a false hope.

Trust in Him.  God will not let you down.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.