Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

Anyone that keeps up with my project reports knows that we have nightly vespers services at Lily the Pink.  We usually have them in the Crystal Mountain.  Lately we have Standing Room Only (SRO).  It is not that hard of a program to stand through.  We start and end with a short prayer.  We have a song and a five-minute sermonette.  Sometimes, we are done in ten minutes.  It rarely takes more than fifteen minutes.

But the sermonette had been a three-day rotation of a group of pastors for one night in the rotation, then Joseph Jones, and then myself.  If anyone called in sick or two busy to be there, Joseph or I would take that night.

But then, Joseph was ordained as a minister and has split duties.  He works part-time at the First-Third Metho-Presby church.  He works part-time at Lily the Pink mostly doing group therapy sessions.  And he has one course to complete to get his Master of Psychology.  That means his long-term one-on-one and couple sessions have come to me.  I have asked Pauline Niblick to use the bride’s room on Tuesday nights.  Tuesday is the least popular for a wedding, and she had to reschedule a couple of sessions for the Babs and Harold Wedding.  While my sister-in-law, Naomi is capable, Naomi says that Pauline is the best for most types of psychological counseling.

But Joseph having less time, I did not want him to be burdened with a sermonette every three days.  I suggested that he be added to the fishbowl, but then the pastor rotation would be two of the three nights.  He modified the rotation.  He would accept being placed into the pastor rotation, but he wanted to be placed into the rotation twice per cycle.  We increased the pastor rotation by five extra pastors.  And then Dev and Naomi volunteered to be in the rotation.  Now with about twenty people speaking once every month, roughly, it puts less of a burden on all of them.

Adding themselves to that rotation were the Baptist preacher, Orval Maddox, who helped officiate at the wedding of Guy Weiss and Minnie Others and Harold Dykstra’s son-in-law, Gil Whitefield.  Pastor Gil begged to be placed on the list.  Rev. Maddox volunteered for one service, and I talked him into being on the rotation.

My rules are fairly simple.  A sermonette over ten minutes gets you on probation.  Another long one and we would consider replacing you with someone else.  The sermonette should be made with the thought of children in attendance.  The timing of vespers is right before the small children go to bed.  The sermonette should have no browbeating of the prostitution business.  Those who were emancipated along with me have been in therapy ever since, for the most part.  They know what they had done was sinful and most of them, if not all, have accepted Jesus before or since emancipation.  Covering that ground could trigger setbacks in therapy sessions and cause unnecessary harm.  Besides, it is not a child friendly topic.

I give all this background because tonight’s vespers sermonette is being done by Rev. Orval Maddox.

While I was putting some paperwork away, along with my counseling notes, I heard the door open behind me.

I said as I spun around, “Open door is over for today.  If this is not an emergency…”

I saw Minnie and Guy Weiss before me.  They were snickering.

Minnie said, “This is an emergency, but I have no idea how to handle it.”

I gasped, “Are you two having trouble already?”

They both laughed, “No, no!”

Minnie said, “Rev. Orval Maddox will be here tonight to speak at vespers.  He will probably go off script as well as going long.  His secretary called me after he left the office.  He was going to make hospital rounds on the way here.  The secretary says that he thinks all this vespers thing is a sham.  For one, no one tells him what he cannot speak about.  For another, he is not convinced that prostitution is not going on.  And he does not give any talk without an altar call.  You could call him and tell him something came up and he’d have to reschedule.  But the tricky thing is that his support of me has taken a hit due to Polly and my horsing around before our wedding, and I need his support to keep my job.”

I huffed, “I thought what you two did was hilarious, and you settled down before anything serious got started.  What made you come up with the idea?”

Minnie laughed, “I’m a coach.  When I see people tighten up due to nerves, I do something out of character to loosen the mood.  Someone that is tight will not perform well.  Polly was very tight.  Her father would take her down the aisle and they had not spoken for a long time.  And she had to show her father that she was making good decisions.  She was marrying a doctoral candidate who was setting up a one-of-a-kind business venture.  He was very handsome, but everything had to be perfect.  So, I thought that we could make a double swap of the grooms and get our trains tied into knots in the process.  It worked.  The tension was gone and we both felt a lot better, but stuffed-shirt Maddox was not impressed, which added to his ideas that this place is a sinful place.  I’m sorry, my goofiness added fuel to the fire.”

I sighed, “I should not cancel him before he breaks the rules, but how do you want us to handle the altar call?”

Minnie said, “He doesn’t think you have five people who have ever read the four Spiritual laws to someone else.  He wants your altar team to meet him before the service starts.  I know most of the people here are Christians, but do you have people who could pray with those coming forward?  Not just the salvation prayer but explaining the four spiritual laws and quoting the basic Scriptures.  This is a test, and Rev. Maddox doesn’t seem to want to play fair.”

I smiled, “Sgt. Weiss, you are good at taking notes quickly.  Gather the following people: I will be there.  Pastor Joseph and Mary, Dev and Naomi, Easter and Jemima, Angus and Missy, Blaise Yeggs, Noreen Moore (“No More”) and Gwen Quinn.  Gwen’s children will have to be told to stay with Grannie Fannie, but either one can take care of all those children while the other comes forward before the altar call.”

Minnie gasped, “That is a quick list.  Are you sure?”

I nodded, “All of them have talked to people using the Four Spiritual Laws tract.  I will have spare tracts if they do not already have one with them.  Minnie, we take our Christian walk seriously here.  We will pass this test, even if it means rehashing old topics with our counseling sessions in the coming weeks.  You need to keep your job.  You are a positive influence on a lot of young girls.”

Minnie nodded, “Thank you, Mommie Pinkie.”

Wise Guy spoke for the first time.  “I’ll talk to Pastor Joseph and Easter.  Jemima will know where the apartments of all the others are.  The cue for them to come forward is when he says for the altar staff to be ready.  Then you stand along the edges, waiting for people to come up and then you try to stick with the same gender.”

I shook my head.  “Most of them will be in the conference center having supper within the next hour.  That means a lot less walking the halls.”

As expected, everyone had a copy of the tract on their person, and all were willing to serve in that capacity.  Blaise felt a bit strange, being the youngest by far.  Then again, he is a high school senior, having skipped four grades.

Minnie had a bus filled with her softball team.  They stood in the back.  And with them standing in the back, Sophia, Menzie, Brooke, Josie, Tammie and Carla stood with them.  As luck would have it, none of them had a game, neither Flintheart nor T.R.U.S.T.  Jessy came in late and joined them.  The Central Baptist girls jabbed her a bit since her home run won the game for Flintheart on the last pitch of the game.  Central Baptist, a much smaller school, were saying to wait until next year.  Next year would be the first time in four years without Marguerite Justice as the pitcher for Flintheart.  And Margie sat near the front with Blaise.

The altar team’s briefing was short and to the point.  You could see the disappointment in Rev. Maddox when we had such a good crowd, all prepared, and a wide range of people in age, and about equally divided by gender.

During vespers, he was very successful in offending everyone.  After his opening prayer, filled with accusations and innuendos, Darrell and Emmett got up to play with Menzie leading the singing.  Both young men had grown up in Baptist churches.  They chose Victory in Jesus.  Emmett played the banjo and Darrell played the guitar.  The Stinker Sunday school choir were a bit scattered, but they were singing harmony and no one in the crowd missed a verse.  We like that one at vespers.

Then Rev. Maddox questioned whether Menzie was white.  She should not fake being white when she wasn’t.  Menzie had one black great-grandparent and the other seven were Scottish.  I have no idea where he was going with that.  He condemned her for singing at the Snazzy Taz and Emmett for playing with the Taz band.  Why?  They serve alcohol and require a minimum drink order.  Then he condemned all prostitutes and alcohol manufacturers for promoting sin and tempting people to sin.  He quoted Revelation 21:8 as his text.  He had other Scriptures, but he was pressed for time.  Then again, he ranted for fifteen minutes.  Add the prayers and the song, and we were already far beyond the fifteen-minute time limit when he made the altar call.  And why give an altar call when three quarters of the audience had been told that there was no salvation for anyone who had ever been sexually immoral or tempted people with alcohol?  He stated they would never ever be forgiven.

Then, when the altar call was made.  Something strange happened.  Julia, Chloe and Rosie raised their arms and called for their small groups to rally around them.  They condemned what the pastor had said.  And Chloe came up with the reason for the pastor’s rant.  She just whispered that we needed to meet with the pastor before he left.

I had my hands full.  Three members of the Central Baptist softball team came forward.  All four of the Forlorn Four and their boyfriends came forward.  I had talked with each of them.  Three of them were already Christians, but they had done some bad things, and they may have come down for a rededication.  Twyla came forward.  She was a new hire on the security team.  And then there was Baldy, Brooke’s wayward brother, Baldwyn Baxter.

When he came down, Mitzi came with him.  Dev came to Baldy to pray with him.  He told Mitzi that she could wait unless she was also making a commitment.

Mitzi said, “I am his teacher and counselor.  I want to be here when my boyfriend accepts the Savior.”

She said it.  “Boyfriend.”  A lot has changed in a little over three months.

Then, someone suggested that the new converts become baptized.  Someone suggested the waterfall.

Aiyana Sinclair shouted, “No!  I forbid it.”

Orval Maddox became enraged, “You cannot stand in the way of the workings of the Holy Spirit!  I insist these people become baptized.”

Aiyana sneered, “Put a sock in it, preacher!  I am in charge of water chemistry here.  The waterfall chemistry is heavy in bacteria at the moment.  That is great for the plants, not good for people.  Use the swimming pool right behind you.  The extension over there is shallow, but deep enough for the purpose.”

Orval Maddox sneered right back, “And I am supposed to listen to a heathen?”

Aiyana took it in stride.  She even laughed, “I am Chickasaw.  My family have been Christians for over a hundred years.  You better watch your bigotry, preacher.  People will think you do not practice what you preach.”

Properly chastised, Orval Maddox turned away and went down the ladder into the pool.  Even a lot of people who had not gone down front for the altar call got in line to be immersed.  The only problem is that Sarah wanted to be baptized, but when Rev. Maddox demanded that she verbally state, “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior,” nothing came out.  As the Rev. got irritated, Clay jumped into the pool and said he could read her lips.  Sarah was mute around strangers and in large crowds.  She usually talked through her tablet, but that could not be immersed.  And with Clay in the pool, he was baptized also.

But after the baptisms, I invited Rev. Maddox for a little refreshment in my office.  He was grinning from ear to ear.  I explained that the goat cheese was locally made, actually in the kitchen by a couple of freshmen in high school.  The goats were at the County Line Farm.  I only had non-alcoholic cider.  There were a lot of pastries from the bakery.

The altar team was in attendance.  While Sparkle and Joon kissed me good night in my office, Kanok refused to go to bed until I did.  Cassie stayed with her in the play area of my office.  Cassie tried to play a game of pick up and put away.  Kanok was not buying into it being a game, but Kanok was compliant.

But besides the altar team and Cassie babysitting at nine months pregnant, I had Chloe and Amanda, two ladies from the same small group and who also work in the control room on the same shift.  And of course, Rev. Orval Maddox was there.

Before we had all gathered, Gigi came in.  She went to Dev, her Daddy.  “Daddy, do we stay here and wait?”

Dev smiled, “Sophia has the keys to the car and the house.  You two run along.”

Gigi ran to the door and said, “We can go home, Soapy.  Are we going to take a shower together?”

Sophia said, “No, Gigi!  I got a nice bubble bath bomb for you, and I can take a shower alone.  How does that sound?”

Gigi said, “Opie, Dopey, Soapy.”

Sophia said, “That’s supposed to be Okey Dokey.”

Gigi said, “We are learning about rhyming words in pee school.”

Sophia said, “You are not supposed to just make up words…  Never mind, Gigi.  Let’s go before Mom and Dad change their minds.”

I turned to Rev. Maddox and smiled, “You look rather satisfied, Rev. Maddox.  Did you accomplish what you came here to do?  After all, you and Gil Whitefield were the two new pastors on our rotation who volunteered without being asked.  I suppose Minnie Others Weiss told you we were looking for new pastors for our vesper services.”

He replied, “Yes, I am marginally satisfied.  You had some people who gathered others around them.  I feel that was an attempt to frustrate the work of the Holy Spirit.  But we still had more than a dozen, fourteen to my count, and more than twice that number were baptized.  I assume those were rededications.  I wish there were more, there is such a great need here for salvation.”

I smiled, “But I listened carefully to what you said.  You said that you were convinced that we were still running a brothel, and that prostitutes have no means of ever being saved.  You also included those who make alcoholic beverages.  It seems you do not allow for forgiveness for those who tempt others.  So, the ones that came forward were three of Minnie’s softball team, five high school students visiting from Pawnee Heights.  Three of those students are dating the three college freshmen who work in one of our maintenance bays, working on a specialized university vehicle, the Turtle.  The primary driver of the Turtle is one of the altar crew here.  He and his wife have led several people to Christ, so those three mechanics were primed to accept Jesus already.  Twyla is one of our new hires, but she has been here longer than Baldy.  The one that was not there for salvation or rededication was the college student that I assigned to Baldy, to teach him what being a decent human being meant.  With him accepting Jesus in only four months of her teaching him, I think she has done a good job.  You reached no prostitutes because there are no prostitutes here.  Many ladies, most of the ladies here have made a profession of faith.  The old is gone and they are new creations, regardless of what you preached tonight.”

He kept his cool, but the veins were popping in his neck.  “I told you before I came that I do not follow someone else’s rules.  I was sure you would try to interfere with the service in some way.  I ran long because what I said needed to be said.  I doubt if the children understood what sexual misconduct means.  I was not explicit.  And if any prostitutes were harmed with harsh words, they needed to be harmed.  They needed to be brought low to know what they did was sinful.”

Rev. Joseph interrupted, “I only do all the group therapy sessions here, now that I am an associate pastor at First-Third.  I have given many of my couples therapy sessions to Pauline Niblick, and Mommie Pinkie has increased her counseling load to allow me time to finish my Psychology masters and work part-time at the church.  Mommie Pinkie told you, there are no prostitutes here.  There were only two former prostitutes among the altar team, and no former prostitutes who came forward, not even for the baptisms.  And you owe Mommie Pinkie, Emmett Dalton, and Menzie MacDougall apologies.  And Aiyana Sinclair.  Aiyana was a prostitute, but she was kidnapped and forced to work here.  I think God understands when you are forced to do bad things.  And when I counselled her, over a year ago, she insisted on being baptized again, to wash the stain of that sin away.”

Rev. Maddox spat, “I have heard many people call her Mommie Pinkie.  Is this some kind of cult here?”

Rev. Joseph said, “You won’t quit, will you?”

Kanok came over, “Mommie Pinkie, I am really tired.  Aunt Cassie says she will lie down with me until I go to sleep.”

I snickered, “Yes, Kanok, you have little rabbit eyes.  That means you are very tired, but kiss me Good Night.”  She kissed me, and then she said, “Sawasdee Kah” with her little bow.  I returned the greeting.  Then Kanok turned and said the same thing to the crowd in the room.

Rev. Maddox gasped, “And now false god worship.”

I finally lost my cool.  “Rev. Maddox, you may think you are burning your bridges with each new bit of hatred and bigotry, but I have had enough.  You can insult me.  You can insult all the good work that we do here at Lily the Pink, but when you insult my child for giving the greeting for Hello and Goodbye, you crossed over to the fighting side of me.  Now, apologize to Kanok.”

Rev. Maddox apologized, but the apology was not sincere.  Kanok was in tears, and Cassie led her from the room.

Rev. Maddox said, “What is this with your rainbow of children?”

I said, “GrandPa and Gwen Quinn, the company President, took a year-long honeymoon around the world.  Gwen is not physically capable to have children.  GrandPa was seeing people he knew on each continent.  Along the way, they adopted six children.  Four for them and two for me.  You probably saw all of them playing together.  Kanok’s parents were swept away by a typhoon, and her greeting is Thai.  She is only still alive by visiting her grandmother at the time of the storm.  Joon’s single mother was working undercover in Seoul, and she was killed by a criminal element from North Korea.  And Sparkle is Scrambled and my natural child, our miracle child as I thought I was too old.  So, don’t vent your hatred upon them.  I know that you had a reason for giving this message.  I will give you one more chance to apologize, sincerely, to everyone, but I need a confession from you first.  This was not the first time you have been here, not counting Minnie and Guy’s wedding.”

He said, “Those are the only times that I have ever been here.  If you are accusing me of something, you will be talking to my lawyer.”

Missy said, “We’ve got pictures.”

He gasped, “That’s a disgusting accusation and it probably is not me anyway.”

Missy smiled, “If there are any pictures in the apartment, those are between the occupants, but we have security cameras everywhere.  My ladies are well-trained at making sure they know where any visitor is at any time.  But in your case, you walked in after we had locked the front door.  You barged through as someone went out.  Cassie, who just left with Kanok, was in charge of security at the time, and she sent me the saved file for 15 November 2021.” I gasped, “Yes, Mommie Pinkie, this was mere months before our emancipation day, 8 February 2022.  In the video, Rev. Maddox, we got a good shot of you looking at the camera.  We went through facial recognition, but it wasn’t necessary.  Amanda took pictures of you in her room, completely disrobed, and a picture of your driver’s license.  We keep record of the security footage when anyone sneaks in after normal closing.  When Baldwyn Apple was in charge, he wanted to know who those people were.  Of course, if these late people paid our employee, Baldwyn wanted his cut.  We kept your video clips, but Amanda never reported anything other than your name and address, off your driver’s license.  That way, if anything went wrong that endangered our employee, you would be contacted.  But as I said, this was about two and a half months before our emancipation, and prostitution closed down on that day for good.  Thank you, Lt. Deviled Yeggs.”

She almost sat down, but then she turned to face him.  “But while I have the floor, my daughter, Menzie, is none of those things that you called her.  She is a straight-A student at Flintheart High School and the second base person on the state championship softball team.  Yes, she sings at the Snazzy Taz, but her songs are limited to carefully selected Swing music, the compositions of Duncan MacDougall, my husband’s late brother, and new compositions by Emmett Dalton, who just plays the sax at the Taz on rare occasions, mostly when Menzie sings.  No customer drives home from the Taz drunk.  They have bouncers that get rid of the drunks, without car keys, giving the keys to the cabbie.  And no one comes anywhere near the stage due to the performer security force, headed by Blaise’s sister.  So, if you come back after I have delivered my child, and I think your apology to my daughter is not sincere…  Mommie Pinkie, you might not want to keep me as your CSO (Chief Security Officer) with what I am thinking right now.”  When she sat down, Angus wrapped his arms around her.

Amanda arose, “I guess you remember me or are you still pretending you do not remember?”  Rev. Maddox averted his gaze.  “Mommie Pinkie, I want to apologize for breaking a few rules that night.  The money I received from Rev. Maddox was placed in the offering plate at his church.  I visited the church to hear him preach once.  Once was enough.  It was the last night before my long weekend.  I wanted to celebrate, so I stole a six-pack of cider.  Baldwyn left us alone for the first two days of our long weekend unless there were special requests.  I was rarely called for that, so I wanted to get numb.  Most people from the cider house walk the other direction to the apartments just to avoid the lobby, but I went through the lobby.  I thought that would be the fastest way to getting drunk.  I saw Cassie in the lobby.  She was arguing with Rev. Maddox, but we did not know who he was at the time.  He was protesting that he was there looking for someone waiting in the lobby.  It was a stupid impulse, but I joked that I was the one he was waiting for.  I jingled the bottles of cider in his face, grabbed his arm and we started down the hall.  I opened two of the bottles and he drank nearly the entire bottle.  He leaned in close and started to lower the zipper on my pink coveralls.  I laughed that off, and I said he’d have to wait until we got inside my apartment.  Once I got the door open, he started kissing me and pulling on the zipper.  I told him I wanted to see the cash first.  He emptied his wallet.  It was not half what I usually get paid, but he did not look like the type to visit a brothel.  After a couple of bottles of cider, we were kind of done for the evening.  The thing that struck me was that he kept saying, ‘Forgive me, Lord Jesus,’ but he kept doing what he was doing.  In a way, he led me to Jesus.  I asked Chloe the next day, and she went through the salvation prayer with me.  I wanted to have my sins washed away too.  But I took a picture of the preacher passed out on the bed, another picture of his driver’s license that I passed on to Cassie.  The preacher wanted some candid selfies with us doing the deed, but I never got his cellphone number.  But the one time that we consummated the thing, it seemed he had not done that kind of thing for months.”

Chloe picked up the story, “Cassie contacted me.  The man in Amanda’s room had to be out before Baldwyn started his day.  All hell would break loose if he wasn’t.  While Amanda kept talking about what he was saying during the time they had together, I was trying to wake the guy up and get him out of the building.  He was badly hung over.  We called a taxi and we were rid of him.  Maybe the booze wiped away his memories, but we have enough photographs here to refresh his memories.”

I asked, “Do you have anything to say to add to this story, Rev. Maddox?”

Rev. Maddox said, “A member of my church called me from the lobby here, and he wanted me to rescue him before he did something stupid.  It was raining or I would have had him wait outside.  I guess the temptation was too much for him…”

I sighed, “He starts his personal testimony with a story about a friend.  Does he not know how these things work?”

Rev. Maddox said, “My wife…”

I gasped, “A pastor of a church blames his wife?”

Dev said, “Let him tell his story.  If he circles around without making a point, you can poke him a little to get him back on track.  You finally have him talking.  Don’t stop him now.”

Rev. Maddox said, “I came here to rescue a friend.  I didn’t know they locked the front door.  By the time I came in, he had already paid a girl and was in her room.  The pregnant lady that left a little bit ago gave me a hard time.  The girl that I stayed with that night came by and said she was the one I was looking for.  Something snapped inside me.  She jingled some hard cider in front of me, and I followed her down the hall, drinking one of the bottles.  I just remember seeing her in coveralls and the zipper part of the way down, so I helped it along.  My two temptations became a nasty combination.”

I said, “I wondered why he said there was no forgiveness for prostitutes and alcohol producers.  My greatest temptation is chocolate.  I would have said a chocolatier.  Or maybe the late night movie on Saturday night that causes you to miss church.  I would not stick to girls and alcohol.  Dev, what about homicide.  Who tempts there.”

Dev smiled, “There are countless tempters, but if we look at the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said that calling someone a fool was just as bad, so let’s add people who cut us off in traffic to your list of tempters.”

I smiled, “Oh, that’s a good one.  But Rev. Maddox.  We don’t need a blow by blow, but back to your story.”

Rev. Maddox was taken off track with Dev’s and my conversation.  “Umm.  I remember making a cheesy comment and then seeing her naked body.  The next thing I remember was my wife giving me a cold shower the next morning.  I confessed what I did with her, although I only thought I slept with this woman.  I remember none of it.  I had not had a drink in years.  AA is not always anonymous, and with what I preach from the pulpit, I could not afford anyone finding out I could not hold my liquor.  So, I just stayed away from it until that night.  My wife had heard my sermons and suddenly quit allowing me to enjoy wedded bliss.  She never explained why, until after I had sobered up that day.  I had very little to tell her.  I had gotten a call.  I went here to pick up a man from the church.  He had been drinking and wandered in this direction, and he wanted me to rescue him before he went into a lady’s bedroom.  I told her that a girl took me down the hall and I kind of remembered two girls dragging me out and throwing me into a cab.  There was no money in the wallet.”

Chloe said, “We paid the cab up front.  We did not want to find you beaten in an alley.”

Rev. Maddox nodded, “Like I said, my wife listened to my sermons, and she became ashamed about lying to me before we got married.  She said she was a virgin.  She rode a bus home from school.  The bus driver had a reputation, but she swore he had never touched her, and he did not have her name in his little black book.  But the truth was she was his regular replacement ever since a freshman in high school if anyone else denied his advances.  I was a virgin on our wedding night, so her knowing what she was doing did not seem abnormal.  I had no idea what to expect.  But after she heard my sermons and we had two children, she said she wanted her virginity back.  She could not have a physical relation with me without remembering the bus driver and the lies she told me.  So, with a little alcohol to lubricate my thinking, I would do anything and everything with this woman here.  Forgive me, Lord Jesus.”  He broke down crying.

I asked, “Would you like to return when your name comes up in about a month?  We will give you a few minutes to run through the apologies and then keep your sermonette to ten minutes or less.  Make it on forgiveness, even for the worst of sinners.  You do not need to make a full confession, just what makes the apologies sound genuine.  That is just to repair the damage that you caused here.  Rev. Maddox, even preachers need to hear their own sermons.  They need to apply the same rules to themselves.  And they need to forgive themselves.  The tempter played a part, but you could have resisted that temptation, and you know it.  Bring your wife the next time, and I will act like we never had this conversation.”

Rev. Maddox nodded, “Thank you.  I will do as you say.  Maybe all my sermons will take a softer tone in the future.  And I think my wife would like to meet you.  Could we come by for a couples counseling appointment?”

I nodded, “Absolutely.  Call the business number and you can be directed to me and I will set up the appointment personally.”

Credits

To obtain the name Orval Maddox, I mashed Lester Maddox, former governor of Georgia, and Orval Faubas, former governor of Arkansas.  Both were strong segregationists.  I had thought of using famous Baptist preachers, but this story does not put him in a good light.

I heard a preacher state what I had grown up hearing.  We have no altar anymore.  God sent His Son as a sacrifice for our sins and there is no altar.  Instead there is a table, upon the table are bread and wine, a remembrance of what Christ did for us.  I am not saying that altar calls are not needed.  I think all churches should have them.  They are just misnamed.  Come forward and make a public announcement that Jesus is your Lord and Savior.  But more importantly, have Jesus in your heart by surrendering your will to His.  That’s what accepting Jesus is about, trusting that His Way is the only way to the Father in Heaven.

Here is Victory in Jesus sung by New Vision Worship.