Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

“‘If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.

• Leviticus 5:1

I have noticed that I have written quite a few posts about dreams that I have had.  I would get so irritated with my wife.  She could talk for hours about a dream that lasted five minutes.

But this one awoke me a little before six in the morning.  I had gone to bed late, and I was thinking eight was a good time to awaken.  But after the dream, I got out of bed to prevent returning to the dream.  My wife said that I was weird.  She had never done that, but I often would awaken, roll over, go back to sleep, and continue the dream.

In this dream, I was “working.”  I put that in quotes in that everyone was playing the same video game on our computers.  We did so openly in front of the boss, so maybe we were testing new games.  That would not be a bad gig.

I was joking, keeping the atmosphere light, when the evil boss came into the room.

It got very quiet until this young guy made an off-color comment about the boss.

A couple of people stifled a laugh, but the boss brandished a pistol and went to the young man’s cubicle.  I left the room and started playing the game in another room entirely.

From the other room, with the door closed, I heard the boss yelling, and I heard the young man screaming for mercy, pleading for his life.  There were other voices that sounded like gossip.

Then I heard a gunshot.  After that, silence.  An uneasy silence.

I then turned to see the boss leaning against the doorframe, pistol still in his hand.

He said, “Now, what do you have to say about it?”

With his anger issue, I had not idea what to say, but I said, “I saw nothing.”

That was true.  I heard a gunshot.  He could have discharged his weapon toward the ceiling, and no one was injured.  But my logical brain eliminated that possibility.  The boss knew I was a Christian that would do the “right thing.”

Then I woke up.

I looked that type of dream online and I might have a bad habit that I need to repent of.  But that type of dream does not mean my impending doom, according to the experts.  But I might be stressed a bit.  I had two doctor appointments that might lead to procedures when I had the dream, but that is an annual stressor these days.

But as I prayed about it, I remember a panel discussion among a group of pastors.  The question was whether it was a problem for an actively gay man to be the music worship leader for the church.  The panel was unanimous that it was wrong.  One pastor had said in his answer, “What if I invited you to my church where one elder was a serial killer?  The finance guy of the church robbed the church blind.  A pathological liar taught the teenaged Sunday school class.  And an elder who cussed like a sailor taught the children’s sermon.  You would be appalled!”  But all of those are sins just like homosexual activity.  We all have temptations, and not everyone is tempted in the same way.  But the instruction that Paul laid down for church leaders was to be blameless.  This is not sinless, but we should live a life that it is hard to find anyone who will come forward to speak against us from a biblical point of view.

Then, I thought of my forty years in the work environment.  Once I caught my boss in a 1000% cost overrun of his discretionary budget.  He was promoted, and the new boss was told that I could not be trusted.  But it was my job to keep the boss from doing illegal things.  And I just made it public among the other bosses.  I did not become a whistleblower.  I just wanted the boss to not spend more money that he did not have, in this case, taxpayer money.

Did I have a boss that would kill someone for making the wrong type of joke about him?  A couple of bosses come to mind.  One put his hands to my throat and started to squeeze and other people in the room had to pull him off me.  In his absence, I approved a sale for a training program for $50,000.  I knew I could get the job done for half that, but we needed to be paid for the companies “expertise.”  But he had wanted $55,000.  It told the entire industry that our price was arbitrary, and we would never get $55,000 again.  For that, I had to die, until others pulled him off me.

I had instituted a no weapons policy, approved by the company president.  But then we got a new company president.  He started laying off all the people who knew what they were doing, including me.  The new president wanted a clean slate with young engineers, but he was laying off all corporate knowledge, making the company worthless.  One young guy that was laid off was an Iraq war veteran.  He was laid off due to being a bit unstable.  I talked with him several times.  He had survivor guilt, having a wall of honor in his cubicle – photos of his friends who had died.  Was he unstable?  Yes, but he needed help, not a boot out the door.  My run-ins with him was in his total disregard of safety, especially his own.  We might add death wish.  He returned to work after losing his job with a pistol.  He waved it around, but he never pointed it at anyone.  After he said what he wanted to say, he walked out the door with no incident.  By this time, I was laid off along with the guy, but I was called back for a few hours of work here or there – things no one else knew how to do.  I found that two people in the building now had pistols in their desks, the new president and his consultant on who to fire next.

I have not heard of anyone being shot in that building on the news, and once the president had rid the company of all who knew what they were doing, he left the company himself.

So, did I have opportunity to be a whistleblower?  Yes.  Should the prison system contain some of my former bosses?  Probably, but a jury of peers would have to make that decision, and as an engineer, I would not be trusted in the industry after whistle blowing.

So, back to the boss in the dream with a smoking pistol by his side.  The Scripture above talks about someone who does not come forward about someone’s guilt will be held accountable.  But the wrong answer to the boss’ question at that moment got you killed.

Now, after writing this down, I still have no idea what the “right thing” would be.

God, forgive me for my lack of action.  Guide me in doing the “right thing.”

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.