Me on stage in the church's multi-purpose room, obviously doing something from a Jerry Clower routine. The coon face (raccoon) on the lapel is oversized on purpose.

May 22, 2026 / 0 comments

Being Jack Benny – with a little help

The Lord detests lying lips,
    but he delights in people who are trustworthy.

  • Proverbs 12:22

Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way.

  • Hebrews 13:18

When you sit to dine with a ruler,
    note well what is before you,
and put a knife to your throat
    if you are given to gluttony.
Do not crave his delicacies,
    for that food is deceptive.

  • Proverbs 23:1-3

How sweet are your words to my taste,
    sweeter than honey to my mouth!

  • Psalm 119:103

The New Boilerplate

My wife filled a small book with “Angel” on the cover.  It was hidden with a box of crafting things.  On 18 July 2025, I thought I had posted the last of these.  But this little angel book held a prayer, followed by 71 quotes.  So, the “with a little help” series is back in business for a while.  And it will be fun for me.  She did not attribute any of the quotes.  The first quote was from James A. Garfield, the 20th president of the USA.  The next one was disputed, with some thinking it originated with Teddy Roosevelt and others saying Fred Astaire.  After the prayer, these might be on the lighter side.

Her quote

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

  • Lucille Ball

The Discussion

Lucille Ball may have said it, but Jack Benny perfected the last part.  He celebrated his 39th birthday on Valentine’s Day in 1933 and then he celebrated his 39th birthday, forty-one more times.  It was a running joke on his television show, and on his radio show before that.  Maybe the joke was told on vaudeville before that.  He had performed for all three, and in a few movies.

Rod Serling appeared on the Jack Benny Show while his own show, The Twilight Zone, was popular.  Serling broke the fourth wall, talking to the audience directly.  He said that for no one to worry about Jack Benny, anyone who had been 39 years old for as many years as Benny had, he “lived” in the Twilight Zone.

But before Lucille Ball said the punchline, she has some good advice.

Not being honest can touch on any number of the Commandments.  God states that He detests dishonest scales.  We are told in Leviticus 19 not to lie and not be deceitful.  Are these different terms?  Yes.  We can tell a half truth.  We can answer with something that is truthful, but it was not what the person asking meant.  And not saying anything sometimes says volumes.

But I am preaching to myself on this next one.  I was taught when I was growing up to clean my plate.  I could not be excused until I had done so.  When I had something better to do than eat the evening meal, usually a television program that I was missing, I learned to eat in a hurry.  Breakfast was a natural.  If I ate slowly, I missed the bus to school.

So, when I went into the Army, that idiosyncrasy of military life was already ingrained.  Military ate quickly.  I think back to the first Passover.  They were to eat in a posture of readiness.  Yes, there were a lot of rules about what to eat and how to prepare it.  But they ate ready to go.  That’s how the military worked.  You ate quickly to be ready for what was called for that day.

And military veterans often continue to eat quickly.

The Bible verses relating to eating fast are more about being gluttonous.  There is a connection there.  People who eat quickly eat too much before the sensors in the body tell the brain that you are full.

Eating slowly allows those sensors to kick in.

I always enjoyed going to the French Kaserne in Karlsruhe, Germany.  Our battalion officers were treated to a variety of courses, a “once-each-year” thing.  There was time between each course to let that food settle before the next course was served.  You knew that you were full.  Then again, you had not eaten as much as you would have in a fast-food environment.

And while we have mentioned fast food, the colors in fast food restaurants are hot colors: red, yellow, orange.  They want you to eat quickly and make room for the next customer.  The music is fast, upbeat for the same reason.  But in a fine dining restaurant, the colors are blue, green, brown.  The lighting is low.  The music is soft, inviting.  They want you to stay a while and enjoy the meal.

In both cases, they are using music and color psychology to play with you so that they make more money.

Lucille Ball’s third point contradicts the first point.  I really don’t think there are many little white lies.  But it makes for a good joke.  I try to be honest, and I honestly fail when it comes to eating slowly.  But they are two good bits of advice.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory

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