Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,

• Colossians 3:23

A sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
    he will not even bring it back to his mouth!

• Proverbs 19:24

He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.

• 1 Timothy 3:4

Better one handful with tranquillity
    than two handfuls with toil
    and chasing after the wind.

• Ecclesiastes 4:6

In vain you rise early
    and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
    for he grants sleep to those he loves.

• Psalm 127:2

These verses have me torn.  I have been getting tired easily lately.  My cardiologist suggested that the COVID that I had six months ago might still be affecting me, in the form of long-haulers syndrome.

I am tired – all the time.  I nap – but I am still tired.  And this has been worse for a little over six months.

Physical activity causes me to really feel bad.

But all the cardio indicators are good.

But when I think my toil is robbing my Joy.  The Ecclesiastes verse above makes me think I am trying to do too much.

But the strange thing is that I am maintaining my pace for the writing.  And when I get to a comfortable place of being ahead, I look at my inbox.  I exclaim, “I cleared the inbox yesterday!  Why do I have 200-300 unread emails?”  Then I realize that “yesterday” was five days ago.

Catching up on email triggers something in my brain that says, “Don’t bother checking.  You are caught up.  You have more important things to do.”  Maybe this is correct.

I also find it funny that when I do some creative cooking, or a complicated meal, I will keep up with washing the dishes throughout and when I have eaten the meal and stowed leftovers for the next four days, there is nothing in the sink.

Okay, almost nothing.  There will be that baking dish or frying pan on the stove top that I forgot to wash.

But I have leftovers for the next four days.  After four days, the sink has a plate that I microwaved leftovers in the sink, and the odd cooking dish is still on the stove.

My brain says the same thing that it tells me with the email, but keeping the dishes washed is not something that I can ignore, but I only look toward the sink at 10pm, and the bed is calling me.

I was never like that when I worked.  I stayed on top of things, and I multitasked like a superhero, okay, maybe not that good.

I had to stay on top of things when I was my wife’s caregiver.

But now, my brain does these involuntary shutdowns.  I just went to the email server that I use for prayer requests, and I had not checked them in a week.  I have a phone alarm that goes off daily to tell me to stop what I am doing and check that account.

Dear Lord, I need to prioritize better.  Maybe I am distracted with a grandson graduating high school and medical procedures that have not yet been scheduled.  Nothing serious since the cardiologist has given me a thumbs up.  But, Lord, some things need to be done around the house whether my body feels like it or not.  And other things can wait.  Give me wisdom and discernment.  And Lord, help me to never think that I am caught up, when there will always be another email and another dirty dish.  Heal me of that mental lapse.  In Thy Name I pray, Amen.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.