Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

I had no one in my office.  There was no one in the waiting room.  And worst of all, there were no children in the play area.

I got the bright idea of touring the cider house.  I had not done that since Gwen had become president, except on Christmas Eve’s Eve to hand out candy canes to everyone.

I went to the new security desk near the front door.  Julia had moved the video monitoring out into the open.  They converted their old office into a new classroom for our K-3 school (presently pre-school and kindergarten).  Now that these security ladies were out in the open, they also did entry security and entry into my office.  Entry security had been rather haphazard except for major events, and when Menzie had been abducted a couple of months ago, it was largely due to security monitoring personnel sloppiness.  This move to be out in the open reminded them that they had a job to do, and they were not untouchable due to their seniority.  But really, they were competent.  Sometimes you need to fail to realize what the cost of your failures could mean.

And if you did not read the story of Menzie’s abduction, you can find it HERE, Unfinished Business.

I let them know that if I had anyone who came to the old living room, now my waiting area, to give my cellphone a call.  I would return as quickly as possible, probably not running, but in a hurry.  They agreed to that change in the day’s procedure.

I went to the control room.  Norene Moore, a.k.a. “No More,” was working with a new employee who was learning the basics of cider operations.  I went to the primary pulpit where the head cook could look out onto the cider house floor below and see most of the operation.  Chloe was at the pulpit.

Chloe smiled, “Wow!  I have not seen you during operations in a long time, Mommie Pinkie.  What brings you down from your ivory tower?”  Note:  The control room was on the third floor, but since the Big House was higher up the hill, you might think my office was higher up.

I tried to laugh it off.  “I had no one in the office to talk to during open door, so I decided to do what I had done for decades.  I see everyone from time to time, but I have not seen them in their natural setting in a long time.  That is going to change.”

Chloe laughed, “And the little children are not there, and the silence became deafening.”

I protested, “I said nothing about that!”

Chloe laughed even harder.  “The pre-school is down a different hallway.  Then you can go a little further and play kissy-kissy with your husband.  He might give you something other than that kind of sugar.”

I again protested, “And eat up his profits?  No way!”

Chloe smiled, “Mommie Pinkie, you put on a brave face, but if you were not the CEO of this place, you would be a home-school mother.”

I asked, “And what makes you the expert?”

Chloe shrugged, “A few years of group therapy sessions with Rev. Joseph.  He has seen me privately.  And I have been to you for counseling, enough to learn your tells.”

I nodded, “Okay, Chloe, I am trying to get out of the office more.  When Gwen and I first started up this plant, we taught everyone while we were learning it ourselves.  So, how are things going in general?  No More is teaching a new employee, but it was Stasya who rotated to the school teacher position.  She was head cook for a different shift.”

Chloe nodded, “We had the most senior full qualified cook.  So, she pulled a double shift one night and became the new head cook on the other shift.  We got the rookie, but Gordo’s training materials make it easy for us to teach and the rookie knows exactly what is expected, no hidden agenda, no surprises on the test.  You would have to be stupid or trying to flunk out.  And with Tammie as our HR person, rookie as she is, we do not get any dummies.  So, we are great.  And the group therapy sessions with Rev. Joseph are not necessary anymore.  I had to come to grips with being too old to get married and have children.  But the others are in great shape on my shift.  We use Rev. Joseph as our means to brainstorm new ideas, dream up weird morale boosters that he then shares with the other shifts.  His therapy now is keeping us busy making life in general better.”

I winked, “Glad to hear that.  I am going up to talk to Rosie.”

Chloe tapped a few keys.  “You will need a respirator, but you will not need to wear coveralls or a personal protective equipment (PPE) suit.  Too much cinnamon in the air and it can be a hazard.  Funny, an edible powder that makes stuff taste great, but it has a Safety Data Sheet (SDS) because too much in the air and it could be flammable, even explosive.  And it can be become a skin and eye irritant at lesser concentrations.  I’ll give her a ring to let her know to look busy.”

I was about to say not to do that, but then Chloe started cackling.

When I went up the stairs, I got a little winded.  I could have climbed the stairs and then put the respirator on, but silly me, I put the respirator on and then ran up the stairs.  I started to hyperventilate.  Since I had not entered the slightly hazardous environment, I pulled the mask seal away and took in a couple of gulps of air.  For anyone reading this, never do that in the restricted area.

I found Rosie carrying a heavy container of apples.  It was not too heavy for a fit young lady like Rosie, but I would not be able to lift it.  The apples were rejects from the robot.  Most were not bad apples, but if the core was hard to visually identify, the robot would reject it rather than risk apple seeds in the cider if the coring machine missed the core.  Scrammie takes the rejected apples and separates them between rotten apples, apples with blemishes, and misshaped apples.  Then he takes the good parts and makes apple fritters and apple dumplings, two of his best sellers other than the donuts made by his mother’s secret recipe.

Rosie placed the apples on a pallet with other such containers.  She yelled, “Let’s go to my office.  There is no dust in there.  We cannot talk out here without yelling.”

Rosie had no office, but she had a locker room that had a positive air pressure ventilation system.

Rosie pulled off her mask.  I had to laugh.  There was a line between Rosie’s dark skin protected by the mask, and the reddish tinge of cinnamon dust covering the unprotected area.

I laughed, “I am sorry, Rosie.  Excuse me, Mrs. Johnny Jacks.  I am probably a freakish sight myself, but cinnamon makes an interesting beauty mask.  I wonder if it helps the skin tone.”

Rosie replied, “I have a suggestion.  Don’t take a shower until you and your Hubbie have some alone time in bed.  The first few days after we got back from our honeymoon, Johnny Jacks would sniff me, then kiss me, then lick me.  He didn’t know how erotic the scent of apples and cinnamon can be.”

I sighed, “Oh dear, I might have to promote you.”

Rosie cowered, “Oh, no, Miss Boss, Ma’am.  Don’t th’ow me in dat brier patch.  No, no, no.  I likes it up here where I can bees all alone.”

I laughed, “Are you finished?  You do know that I have you on a list of people to never promote.  I would love to promote you.  Everyone likes you, and you have a great head on your shoulders.  But you have trained some competent replacements.  We did not miss a lick while you were on your honeymoon.  How is married life treating you?”

Rosie stared for a little bit and then bent over laughing.  “Johnny Jacks and I are having so much fun discovering each other.  In all my naughtiest of times, I never knew that doing the deed could carry such a special meaning.  We are not thinking of children right away, but we may not wait too long.  I’ll let you know when we know.  Thank Scrammie for acting as my father.  I never knew my Dad, and my mama has been gone a few years now.  I guess I will have to adopt the two of you as my parents.  I think the wedding was lovely.”

I smiled, “Thank Baldy.  He talks to the brides, makes a few suggestions, and then does his thing.  And your wedding and reception had so much music!  It was like a worship service.”

Rosie shrugged, “Everyone wanted to perform.  Emmett was here with the Snazzy Taz band, since the wedding was in the afternoon.  Then Johnny Jacks had his jazz band that he taught at school, those that could come.  And then the worship band from our church.  Then Menzie sang.  You and the Purple Four sang.  And the Neapolitan trio was good.  That is what they call themselves?  Menzie, Arabella, and Brooke?  The church worship band sang.  Even Emmett’s band from Stinker’s Sunday school class played a song.  Yeah, I guess you’re right.  We wanted everyone to enjoy the celebration, and Johnny Jacks and I almost forgot to leave on our honeymoon.  It was Scrammie that cut in on us dancing and when he had me alone, he said that it was time for us to leave.  Don’t worry, we went to a hotel downtown where Ms. Dala had reward points.  We had non-alcoholic champagne, French Bloom le Blanc, 0.0% alcohol by volume, and made from Chardonnay.  I think that and the rosie petals were an Amy touch.  Yes, it was on the bill for zero dollars net that was slid under the door during the night.  It said ‘Rosie’ petals.”

I nodded, “I gave you added time off because Johnny wanted to drive to Georgia.  Where all did you go?”

Rosie smiled, “We went to the three cities you suggested: Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA, and St. Augustine, FL.  We even went to New Orleans, LA on the way back.  We rode the horse-drawn wagons and the tram in St. Augustine.  We did some ghost tours.  We went to the beaches in all three states.  I am sure you can see that I got a tan.”  She was the same dark brown that she always was.  “We went to an alligator farm, and they had me hold the alligator.  Somehow, they knew we was newlyweds, so we got picked on.  And we went to Steinhatchee, FL and took the fishing boat that Darrell suggested.  Oh my, we ate fine that night.  And Johnny Jacks caught a trophy fish that they had stuffed.  We just got it from the taxidermist a day or two ago.  But I have a naughty confession, well two.  I remember hearing that Easy and Stinker did the deed on the beach one night.  So, we borrowed some camping gear at Gordo’s honeymoon farm, and we camped out at a South Carolina beach, and we snuck out to the beach in the middle of the night.  I don’t think anyone saw us.  But then when we were in Florida, we took the tour at Kennedy Space Center.  Then, we decided to go to Playalinda Beach, since it was right there.”

I shrugged, “Okay, but there are a lot of beaches in Florida.  Why that one?”

Rosie’s eyes twinkled.  “We went to parking lot 13.”

I shrugged, “Thirteen is an unlucky number for some people.  Were you trying to tempt fate?”

Rosie blushed, “No, Mommie Pinkie, Parking Lot 13 at Playalinda is a nudist beach, at least clothing optional.  The rest of the beach is carefully patrolled and is clothing required.”

I asked, “But why, Rosie?  The two of you were on your honeymoon.  You should have been focused on looking at each other.”

Rosie snickered, “I know.  I said it was a confession.  And you is the only Mama I got now.  I guess it was pride.  Johnny Jacks had been taking Jochebed’s potion, and I have been working out, eating right, and taking the right supplements.  We thought this was the only time we would both think that our bodies were perfect.  So, we kinda showed off.  And every time someone tried to make a move on either one of us, we got to tell them we were taken.  It felt so good.  I spent most of my adult life ashamed of myself.  I know that was wrong, but, Mommie Pinkie, I feel good about myself now.  And I love my Johnny Jacks.”

I sighed, “But afterwards, after you had shown your naked bodies to strangers, did that make you feel good?  And have you thought that someone might have a camera and John’s church or school found out…”

Rosie said, “Yeah. We thought of the picture angle after we were walking back to the car.  Johnny Jacks said never again.  But I know what you mean about doing something stupidly naughty in a public way.  At first, we were so conscious of everyone else seeing us naked and seeing them naked.  It was what it says in Genesis 3, shame.  But after a walk to one end and little wading into the water up to our waste…  Until we were that deep in the water, all we did was hold hands.  When we were waste high in the water, we hugged and kissed.  Then, as we came back to about ankle deep water, that is when people started talking to us.  I guess it’s the way sin works in your life.  We got used to not having swimsuits on.  And we didn’t see folks naked on the beach.  We saw folks that looked good without clothes on, but mostly, we wondered how they could think they wanted to show their bodies.  They might not have bad looking bodies, but we thought they should cover some of it up.  You know, if you do not look good in a bikini, taking it off does not improve your looks.  When we got back to the car, Johnny Jacks said that we had done it.  And we never had to do that again.  In fact we probably shouldn’t have done it this time.  I love my Johnny Jacks.”

I asked, “You are now Mrs. Jacks, Rosie.  Isn’t saying Johnny Jacks getting a little silly?”

Rosie laughed, “One night on our honeymoon, we were enjoying each other, and I moaned, ‘Oh, John…’ and the stupid man stopped to axe me why I did not say Johnny Jacks.  I told him that he should not have stopped.  I was having a sensation I never had before and the ‘knee Jacks’ just couldn’t get out.  So, whatever he was doing, just keep doing it.”

I laughed, “That’s a good one.  Keep doing it, Rosie, whatever it is.”

With that, I visited bottling, and shipping and receiving.  Everyone made two comments.  I must have been visiting Rosie, and they were afraid something was wrong since it had been years since I made the rounds.

In shipping and receiving, Anahera and I talked about her honeymoon.  Anahera and Gordon Sutherland went to Scotland to visit his relatives.  Then they flew to New Zealand to visit her family.  And they watched some rugby games.  I told her that the haka was performed respectfully while she was gone.

When I made it to the bakery, the cinnamon stains were getting a bit runny, and cinnamon all over your face meant something completely different in the bakery.  When I told Scrammie what Rosie had suggested, he said that the two of us were going to do one better.  We were going to take an entire spice rack to the bedroom and experiment until we found the best combination for us.  I laughed and called him a naughty boy.  And, I broke my vow to Chloe.  Okay, not a vow, I hinted that I would not eat the profits at the bakery, but when Scrammie took out an éclair and held it between us, and then said, “Meet you in the middle,” I couldn’t resist.

The pre-school was all that remained of my walkaround.

I went to the glass door of Sparkle’s classroom.  Stasya Kaiser had older children in one line.  Joon was the oldest.  Catalina was the youngest out of that group, for a total of ten children.  Then the seven new children were in the other line.  They were all shuffling in their lines until they got confused.  They knew their birthdays.  They were now learning which month came before the next month.  As they shuffled around in their own lines, they were finding out who was the oldest and the youngest.  My Joon was the oldest, older than Thanh and Sammie.  And on the far end Stormie was younger than Karl Kaiser.  Really Baffy Niblick was the oldest of those born in 2023, but there was no way we could separate her from her “twin sister” Ibie Yeggs.  Baffy was thus promoted to kindergarten a year early due to less than an hour on the clock.

I had not thought of it.  Pauline Niblick and GrandPa, my grandfather by marriage, were great friends since she was a teenager.  Otherwise, we are not related at all.  But if Scarlett Ibis Yeggs, my step granddaughter, is the twin of Baffing Spoon Niblick, then I guess I have to be the grandmother of both of them, “twin friends” or not.

But Stormie Yeggs, my nephew’s daughter, was definitely the youngest.

Then it happened.  Sparkle noticed me looking in at the door.  She squealed and ran for the door.  Stasya was right behind her telling her to get back into line, but Sparkle was too quick.  She had the door opened and I swooped her into my arms.

I said, “I’m sorry to interrupt.  I just wanted to see the class in action.”

Joon laughed, “Mommy has chocolate on her face.  She went to the bakery.”

I looked for a tissue and Stasya provided one.  I wiped around my lips.

Sparkle, still in my arms, said, “Mommy, did you swim in the cider?  You smell like cider.”

I put her down and told her to go get back in line where she belonged.

I said, “For everyone’s information, when I do not have anyone needing to talk to me, I am going to make the rounds.  That means looking through the window at your class.  Now, Miss Stasya is the teacher.  She is the boss.  So, Miss Stasya, why do the children keep the door closed?”

Stasya said, “We need to keep everybody safe in the classroom.  You do not open the door to anyone, even if you know them.  We do not know who might be in the hallway.  When the day is over, you stay in the classroom until you are picked up by someone who is authorized to do so.  If a different person picks you up, we need confirmation that they have permission to do so.  Is that clear?”

There was a chorus of, “Yes, Miss Stasya.”

Stasya continued, “And if Mommy or Daddy stands at the door, you let me know quietly.  You do not disrupt the class by interrupting.  I am sure that Mommie Pinkie just wanted to watch.”

I had to add, “And listen.  The empty office was deadly quiet when I left this morning.”

I apologized, and I explained that the dust on my face and in my hair was cinnamon from Raw Materials.  The mist of apple juice in the air makes the cinnamon stick on contact.  I was checking on the recent people who returned from honeymoons, especially Rosie Jacks and Anahera Sutherland.

Stasya whispered as she walked me to the door, “When Karl left for pre-school last year, I went stir crazy.  And Jim and I are starting to try one more time.  If the timing is right, it will be next summer when I have time off, but I planned to take a couple of courses to maintain my knowledge and volunteer for shift relief at the cider house.”

I smiled, “I think your old friends would love the help and the visit.  And maybe next time when I stick my head in the door to see the children and hear their laughter, I might wear a wide brimmed black hat with a veil.”

Stasya asked, “Do you have one?”

I shrugged, “All I have to do is suggest it and one appears.  Gwen has that Gypsy hearing thing, you know.”

A voice from the hall said, “I heard that, and you did not think that you could make rounds around my operation without it getting back to me?  Please, my sister from another mother, I have more skills than just Gypsy hearing.”

I turned to Stasya and whispered, “I think I’m in trouble.”

Gwen threw her arms around me.  “Girlfriend, you used to make that circuit often, but why now?  Don’t answer that.  I know.  It got very quiet in your office.  Please, Pink, you may still be physically capable of producing a child, but it’s too risky.  You have six children already: two natural, two steps, and two adopted.  That’s enough.  And to think that half the ladies under your employ think of you as their mother.  Now, tomorrow, I am going to have something set up in your office.  For child safety, we have an audio feed in the classroom.  If we have an altercation, we will have video and audio of what happened.  No altercation, after a week we destroy the file.  Those might be details that you were unaware of.  Tomorrow, you can hear the little ones giggling, having a good time, and rarely thinking of you.  Elroy will have to weave through child safety protocol, but he did it for me last year.”

I asked, “What if I enjoy visiting the employees at their work location?  I am not taking your job away, but these ladies have been emancipated for four and a half years.  Do you want that in days?  They are not as needful in the area of therapy as they used to be.  I can make open door shorter a few days a week, so that the ladies don’t say things about how I had not visited them in years.  Please, Gwen, you are the president.  You will be until you do not want the job anymore.  But if these ladies see me as their mother, I need to visit them on occasion.”

Gwen wrapped her arms around me.  “One, I approve your change in schedule, but you are the owner and CEO.  You could pull rank any time you want.  Two, I do not see it as you stealing my job away from me. Three, when you go to certain places in this facility, put your hair into a bun or call Hannah Bandanna and she can do it for you.  Four, when visiting Rosie, wear pink coveralls.  And Five, I have a broad brimmed black hat with a veil already.  I wear it when I walk by this door so my children don’t go gaga when I stick my head in the window so that I can hear their laughter.  Yes, Pinkie, it gets silent in a lonely office at the top, deadly silent.”

Credits

I don’t think anything needs a Credit …

But although I have relatives in the Titusville area, I have never been to Playalinda beach, any of the fourteen parking lots.  We always went to Cocoa Beach a little south of there.  And I even surfed using a board someone named Ron Jon let me borrow.  He usually rented the boards, but my cousin had just paid for having his board completely resurfaced.  Besides, I had never surfed before, so Ron Jon thought he might dangle the hook for me to come back.  And this was before he had a huge store on the beach and seemingly half the cars on the eastern side of the USA have a Ron Jon sticker somewhere on them.