Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

Hannah McCreary was in my office when I returned from my walkaround.  I asked where Conor was, and she said that Jochebed wanted to play with him while we had our meeting.  That sounded like Jochebed.  Jochebed had partnered with Bonnie as midwives, but Bonnie checked on the newborn frequently and Hannah seldom made it into town.

I asked, “Why did you come in today?  And you need to call in advance, I have changed my open-door hours.”

Hannah laughed, “I did call.  And I have not waited long.  You must understand that I come from a strict community that is always on time, which means early.  To be honest, Paddy dropped me off here some time ago.  I dropped Conor off in the nursery and then I went to Hannah Bandana for a little help with my hair.  I have been reading my Bible while I waited here, the NIV, not the Luther Bibel.”

I smiled, “So, what brings you to my office?”

Hannah smiled, “We were going to have a special dinner party for a few guests, and then one of the guests threw a monkey wrench into it.  I have no idea what that really means, but Paddy sighed on the way here and said that’s what it was.”

I smiled, “It comes from dropping a small tool into a gear box.  It causes everything to stop until they fix what the tool broke.  The British say a ‘spanner in the works.’  The ‘monkey’ wrench is that while it might be an accident, it could also be sabotage.  In planning a dinner that was supposed to be a small gathering, I think someone added people to the invitation list that you did not anticipate.”

Hannah brightened, “Yes, Mommie Pinkie, Oma is insisting that you come along and she has a long list of people from here.  She wants your entire family down to the grandchildren.  She wants Easter, Jemima, and Stormie.  She also wants Sophia and Gigi.  She wants Arabella Dalton.  But maybe we can extend that to the three Dalton children and the boyfriends of the girls.  Sophia was already on the list as Emmett’s fiancée.”

I asked, “With just that many people, do you have the room?”

Hannah nodded, “Yes, but not all together.  We have decided to purchase some folding tables and stackable chairs that can fit in our storage room.  We will fill the breakfast area and the entrance area.  Then, we can go upstairs to the meeting room for the purpose of the gathering, or knowing Oma, she’ll project her voice.”

I sighed, “You have two members of our female three stooges.  Should I invite Wilma?  No, then Fred and Mitzi would want to come along, and Mitzi might not like Baldy not being there.  Let’s just leave it with Arabella and Gigi.”

Hannah asked, “What is this about three stooges?”

I smiled, “Wilma, Arabella, and Gigi are all known for saying really silly things.  A policeman in a state south of here put Sophia in cuffs because Gigi woke up and saw a policeman and then blurted out, ‘I saw a dead body.’  It took a little convincing, but the policeman let Sophia go free.  Arabella and Wilma think of ten things that they could say, and then say the goofiest of the ten.”

Hannah shrugged, “I have no idea why Oma wants them.  She won’t say.”

I laughed, “I was thinking it might be Abigail.  I will do the best that I can to get those people gathered together.  I do not wish to miss Abigail leaving her community to visit.  Even if it is only to the Gargoyle House.”

We made sure the date and time were clearly communicated, and I was able to get everyone together.

When the group gathered, we took the bus, I had Easy drive, since he had a commercial driver’s license.  In all, we had 25 people from Lily the Pink, although a few did not live here.  Then again, Sophia was staying with us temporarily anyway due to Maeve visiting with the triplets.  And Gigi and Maeve’s twins had a few sleepovers with Sparkle, Kanok, and Joon.

As I thought, the serving staff was from the Four Omas Community.  But one thing that I did not expect was that Hannah met us at the entrance with Conor in her arms.  Well, that I expected, but she was wearing her English attire and her hair flowed down to her waste.  But she wore the kapp to signify her humility and subservience.  Odd, that the hair rolled into a bun was usually part of that symbol.

Hannah smiled, “Oma is next to the fireplace.  No fire, but that is where we have set the head table.  We have arranged mixed seating.  Mommie Pinkie, you will be at the head table along with your husband, Boaz and Cassie with Phinehas, and then Clyde and Edna, and Oma.  Arabella, Michael, Sophia, Emmett, Gigi, Sarah and Clay will be at the next table, where Erasmus and his family are sitting.  There is a name on a card on each plate.”

Once everyone sat at their assigned table, Abigail arose.  “We come together as one large family.  Half are Amish or Mennonite.  The other half are English.  I have many things to say, but that will be after the meal.  I have not said anything to this young girl, but I wish to have Arabella Dalton bless the food.”

Arabella was obviously scared.  She was the class clown.  She poked fun at others, and now she was asked to do something that was important, solemn, and dignified.

Arabella whispered, “I can’t do this!”

Erasmus reached over the table and took her hand.  “Arabella, the Grand Oma, my mother, has faith in you.  She trusts you.  Use the faith you have in Jesus to trust that He will give you the right words to say.”

She gave him a look that said, “You must be crazy,” but she arose and went to the microphone, which Abigail had not used.

With a shaky voice, Arabella said, “This is crazy!  This is crazy!  Ummm. Will everyone bow their heads in prayer, please? Umm. Lord, I know how to say my prayers at night.  I pray a lot when I take care of the animals down the road at the County Line Farm.  I read the Bible, and you and me, we talk a lot, but this is different.  I guess I’ll start with the way my folks do it.  Lord, bless the food.  I don’t know what food there is.  There’s nothing on the table yet, but whatever it is or wherever it is, you know that.  Please bless the food for the nourishment of our bodies.  Bless us to use this nourishment to serve you better with the energy we receive.  And I have no idea who prepared the food but bless them too.  And bless the servers as they bring the food out to us.  And all I know about the dinner tonight is that we were asked by name to be here.  And I look around, and I do not have a clue why I was asked to even be here.  So, whatever it is that we are here for, may it be to glorify your name.  In Thy Name I pray, Amen.”

There were a few snickers, but everyone said “Amen.”

Gigi said, “You did great, Goofball!”

Arabella gritted her teeth, “That’s Fireball, Gigi.  You’re the Goofball!”

Gigi giggled, “Yeah!”

Abigail arose and walked to Arabella.  She placed her hands on Arabella’s shoulders and leaned down to her right ear and said, “That was perfect, Young Lady.”  Now, I was starting to worry about Abigail.  She had such rigid ideas about worship and talking to God.  Arabella’s prayer was from the heart, but it was just like she is, a bit goofy.

Through the entire meal, I noticed how Sophia hovered over Gigi.  She took some of the food and gave it to Emmett or Michael.  We had pot roast and mashed potatoes, and there was plenty to eat, but Sophia knew her little sister would play with her food if she had too much.  Even then, as they finished the main course and the dessert was being prepared, Gigi leaned against Sophia and said, “Soapy, I’m full.  I can’t eat dessert.”

Sophia said, “You will miss the Shoofly pie.”

Gigi said, “Yuck!  I don’t want a pie made out of flies!”

Sophia had raised her hand for a waitress to come to her assistance.

A waitress laughed when she heard Gigi’s comment.  “No, Gloria Grace, the pie is made from molasses.  It is so delicious that the baker has to shoo the flies off to keep them from eating the pie, or so the old story goes.  And, Sophie, here are go boxes with both Shoofly Pie and Apple Pandowdy.”

Sophie took the package, but she did not turn around to see the waitress.  The voice was vaguely familiar, and she said ‘Sophie’ while others had either said Sophia or what Gigi had just said, ‘Soapy.’  And the waitress had only heard ‘Gigi’ used as her sister’s name.  I could see Sophia’s detective brain kicking into high gear.

But as everyone finished their meals and the lovely dessert, Abigail got up to speak.  She said that she did not need the microphone.

Abigail said, “I have been talking without a microphone for a long time.  I don’t need to start now.  It was ten months ago when Paddy came to our little community.  The police feared some kind of human trafficking operation where they steal humans to turn them into slaves, doing horrible things.  They found a peaceful Amish community.  But we had a community of nothing but women.  We needed seed to produce the next generation.  But Paddy was our last.  What we were doing was sinful.  Having the Lord’s Supper before doing a sin does not wash that sin away.  It probably angers God even more.  But we have repented of that sin.”

There was murmuring and nods around the room.  Abigail continued, “But we now have the results of a generational sin.  Sure, we have teenagers who are young men, but they are not old enough to be an elder.  We cannot expect people from Halfway to return to provide a man who will be our elder.  But we still need an elder.  Gretel and Gertie have told me that they do not want to take over once I am gone.  And without us maintaining ourselves as Amish, we might lose certain privileges protected by law due to our religious beliefs and practices.  So, we will remain Amish, but we will make some drastic changes.  Our ladies who have come here have been threatened, and there was an incident in a nearby restaurant.  But now that Paddy is here, we hope there will be less of that.  Yet, I want to announce a loosening of the dress code.  Maybe people will not think of us as being a weak group of women, if we look more like our neighbors.  For those who know the difference, there is the Old Order Amish, the New Order Amish, and the Beachy Amish.  Other than being all women except for the children, we have been pretty close to the Old Order.  We will move slowly to a position that is between the New Order and the Beachy.  Clothing restrictions loosened.  We will have a cellphone in each house.  We may get Erasmus to build us a store between us and halfway, maybe it will be the quarter way store.”

There was laughter around the room.  Abigail continued, “And we will have solar panels placed on the roofs of our houses or on platforms.  That power will give us limited lighting, maybe fans for Bonnie’s clinic and the sick rooms.  Of course, we will need to recharge our cellphones.  And the new construction will include indoor plumbing, but only on our personal water system.  They are drilling a well on Mount Baldy.  If Pink Lady can have a beautiful Crystal Mountain, we can call the hill behind my house Mount Baldy.  And we will encourage the children who remain to continue schooling through high school.  It has been a long-standing belief that by the eighth grade, we know all we need to know to run a farm and build new houses and barns for our people.  But Edna is going to teach the higher grades at her home.  Edna has taken her GED test.  She will take their education further.  And we have already had Aunt Jemima teach weather observation skills on Mount Baldy.”

Abigail turned to Hannah, “My darling granddaughter Hannah.  You were thought to be barren, but God wanted you to find the right man.  You have accepted the English ways.  I can see now that there is nothing wrong with that.  This is a bit of a spooky home.  I have heard about ghosts.  But Erasmus has done a wonderful job with the renovations.  And Jedidiah is still part of the Mennonite community at Halfway, but he still lives here to provide a male presence while Paddy is in Tracy.  Of course, Conor will be a male presence until he gets old enough for school.  Conor, you are our miracle child.  But now, your wait staff is coming out to show your uniforms for cleaning and for other services.  And some will wear our revised clothing code.  And if you want to remain wearing the clothing you have, please feel free to do so.”

The girls came out in below the knee skorts for the cleaning people.  More girls came out with mid-calf dresses, and with no aprons.  Then other girls came out with a pleated skirt that was a little above the ankle.  Samantha, the fast runner, was one of those.  She was smiling.  She said that she can run without holding her skirt.  The colors were all lighter colors.  No prints, but that might come later.  And then one of the girls from the last group spun around in front of Sophia.

The girl asked, “How do you like our new style, Sophie?”

Sophia had finally figured it out. “Katie!”  She jumped up and gave Katie a hug.  Katie had been the waitress at a nearby restaurant who wore a wire to catch a biker gang who were distributing drugs to children in the various schools.  She would not do it unless Sophia went undercover to be there with her.  Sophia took a knife from the leader of the biker gang and made him pay for his efforts, but Katie had been cut by the knife, superficially.

Katie said, “I asked the Grand Oma if I could show you my scar, but she said no.  I owe you my life, Sophie.  The restaurant is finally back open under new management.  But I came here.  I run the front desk when Hannah is busy doing something else.  And I would like to speak to Aunt Jemima.  I want to come to the Stinker Sunday school class.  I am one of Aunt Edna’s high school students.  I am a little older, but I am eager to learn.  With accepting some greater amounts of technology, the Four Oma Community will need people with higher education.”

Sophie and Katie hugged.  Jemima said any who wanted to come were welcome, but they would have to ride in a car or the paddy wagon.  I said that if they wanted, I could send a bus out to pick them up if they were lifting that restriction also.

Abigail raised her hand, and everyone became quiet.  “Yes, we will allow limited motor vehicle use.  I hear that a young inventor is making an electric car for me to drive around the property.  More need for the solar panels to charge things.  And I have one more announcement.”

She paused and the room got very quiet.

She smiled, “I have talked with Pink Lady a few times.  It seems that some time ago, she made Gwen Quinn the president of Lily the Pink Enterprises, and she remained as the CEO, Chief Executive Officer, whatever that means.”  Again, there was a little laughter.  “I want to announce that I am stepping down as the Grand Oma.  Edna will take my place.  She will be the headmaster of the school.  And I will be the Older Elder.  I love our dearly departed sister who dreamed up the wild weekends with a boy and the idea of being the Grand Oma when none of us were grandmothers yet.  But Grand Oma seems so pretentious.  It does not seem Amish.  We are expected to point toward Jesus, not point toward ourselves at all.  I will still preach upstairs in the barn each Sunday.  If I do not, I hope a few of you will become capable to fill in for me.  There are a lot of details that still have to be worked out.  But the halfway community is growing on its own.  We do not need our young married couples to leave if they do not wish to leave.  In a couple of generations, our generational curse will be lifted.  We will have grown men leading each family unit.  I will not be here to see it, but I want to see the changes as we move closer to a sustainable community, across the road a little bit at Four Omas.  We are not the Four Omas Amish Community.  We will be shown on new maps and with a road sign stating ‘Four Omas.’  I have the support of a young woman who is an undersheriff in Stout County, and she is running for sheriff.  And with that in mind, voter registration will be at Four Omas tomorrow.  Everyone eighteen and older will be asked to register.  No photo ID is required, but if we ever get a motor vehicle of our own, the driver will need a photo ID.”

Samantha said, “I volunteer!”

Abigail shook her head, “We may be making some changes, but one of them, Samantha, that does not change, is that when a grown-up is speaking, you raise a hand to get permission to speak.  Samantha, my swift messenger, you love anything that is fast and thrilling, but you will learn that the best things in life might be those that are quiet, slow to approach, but fleeting, gone in a second.  You need to learn how to slow down.”

Samantha nodded, “Yes, Grand Oma.”

Abigail smiled, “Let’s make that, ‘Yes, Elder Abigail.’  And Gertie and Gretel will be Elder Gertie and Elder Gretel.  For you folks from Lily the Pink, Gertie is Gertrude, but she has stuck to Gertie ever since she dropped Dirty from Dirty Gertie.  She has always been the gardener among the Four Omas.  She has no problem getting dirty as long as we see vegetables or flowers grow as a result.  Gretel has always been the nurturing one.  She is the soother when someone is hurt.  Bonnie learned all she knows from Gretel.”

Then, Abigail snapped out of her reverie.  “Those are the announcements.  Changes will take place gradually.  We have to make the dresses before the young ladies can wear them.  Those that work along County Line Road get priority.  Hannah has done the typical English thing and purchased the uniforms for the ladies working here.  And if someone makes a mistake, please have the corrections done gently and with love.  Like I said to Samantha, a soft gentle reminder that times have changed.  And it is very odd that an Amish elder would make that statement, but our livelihood depends on the communication through the cellphones.  And I have learned much from Pink Lady, some change is not sinful.  In fact, repentance is turning away from sin.  And that is very good change, indeed.  Oh, and one last thing.  Hannah, when you have your Bible study when you prepare to go to Aunt Jemima’s Sunday school class, I want to attend.  Edna and Bonnie tell me that the lessons are very interesting.  Oh, and dear Aunt Jemima, you are going to have to explain to me why people call you Stinker.  You are a wonderful child.  I do not see how that name fits you at all.”

With that, she sat back down.  People came by to talk to her and give her hugs of encouragement.  They did the same for the school’s headmaster, Edna.  She had already been the primary teacher for K-8, but now that would go to Eliza, with the Amish Catherine being a primary helper.  They were going to team teach, each having their strong subjects.  People gathered around those four ladies.  But Bonnie and Gretel went into the lobby to have a private conversation, probably discussing how they handled the sick in the future now that Bonnie had rooms to care for the sick, isolating them to lessen the spread of germs.

And I was seeing how my new source of apple trees was going to get smaller.  They would be expanding in the area between what was Four Omas to connect those houses to Edna and Bonnie.  But Abigail had a head for business, and the apples would give her a steady income stream.  Besides, the houses on stilts were more complicated and more expensive.  She would stay close or start a new group of houses on higher ground along the base of Mount Baldy.

As I was trying to figure out how all this would work, Abigail had broken free from the well-wishers.  “Pink Lady, I do not see me going down a water slide, but I will be visiting more often.  Maybe Hannah can bring me to the Mommie Club meetings.”

I smiled, “That is a great idea!  And if you know how to swim, the water slides are built for adults.  Try the lower slide a few times and you will want to try to taller and faster one.”

Abigail laughed, “You might talk me into it, but Samantha needs to come visit very soon.  She has been asking me when we were going back to the Crystal Mountain all year.  Maybe this weekend for her.”

I nodded, “That can be arranged.  On Saturday morning, one of the Dalton parents, either Colt or Sally, will bring Arabella and Michael out.  They load all the milk that Barry and Clyde have ready and they check on the goats.  When Barry has a concern about an animal, Arabella looks over the animal: llama, goat, or cow.  She decides if the veterinarian is needed.  By then, they come back to Lily the Pink.  I have worked out a deal with my facilities manager.  He is giving up one maintenance bay for simple vehicle repairs.  All oil changes will be done in the Turtle Bay when the Turtle is out chasing storms, and the major work will go to a local repair shop, which still has a pink-colored maintenance bay.  But in freeing up a maintenance bay, I can build a larger cheese making operation just for Michael Rowe Casey.  We’ll have to seal it and sanitize it, but he is making so much cheese that he takes up a lot of our kitchen.  And his cheeses are sold quickly.  Maybe we can put your cheeses in our refrigerated display.  We can advertise where they come from, so when you build the shop at ‘quarter way,’ you will have interest in the cheese already.”

Abigail laughed, “Every time we get together, you come up with these ideas.  I either get a Bible study or a business proposition.  And if you are wondering, we will expand along the base of Mount Baldy to preserve our new apple orchard.  And would you mind if we had goats of our own?  We could sell the milk to Michael for lower than wholesale.”

I smiled, “Michael is here.  Talk to him.  His parents would have to agree since Michael is not sixteen, a state requirement.  A six-year-old can own their own business, but a parent must sign legal contracts until the child is sixteen.  But may I correct you on our meetings.  We just talked business, but how about a Bible study also.  You can have both.  The verses that come to mind are ‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.’ (Deuteronomy 31:6).  ‘He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.’ (Micah 6:8).”

Abigail gave me a big hug, “You do not disappoint.  I can hear Arabella from here.  I know Michael cannot be far away.”  But then, she stopped and turned.  “When a woman prophesies, she must have her head covered, according to Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, but later in that chapter, he says, ‘Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.’ (1 Corinthians 11:14-15).”  At that, she removed her kapp and a couple of hair pins.  Her lovely silver hair fell to a point about halfway down her calf.  And with an impish grin she added, “Pink, if we look at length… I win!”

With that, she was off to talk to Michael about business.  I found out later that she and Michael discussed the proper diet and where to keep the goats.  They both talked to Arabella and she was ecstatic, more goat families meant more kidding and even more goats.

Aunt Jemima came by to say that she had a new couple for the Sunday school class.  What most people did not know was that when the Gargoyle House featured in the rescue of Menzie at the beginning of the summer, Dietrich Koch’s new rookie partner fell in love with the breakfast that Hannah prepared for everyone.  But he also fell in love with Katie.  Of the two, Katie was younger, but more worldly wise than the inexperienced Don Fife.  She has him wrapped around her finger, but Katie insists they will not marry until she has her GED or home school diploma.  Sophia confirmed that Don was like Katie in a lot of ways, but she had no idea that they had found each other.  And it looked like Katie might follow in Hannah’s footsteps, becoming English.  Abigail embraced that idea.  If they left the Amish way and remained faithful to Jesus, she was happy with that.

Credits

The alternate idea of how Shoofly Pie got its name is from a donkey in a travelling circus of the 1800s.  It was called “Shoofly the Boxing Donkey.”  A picture of the donkey was the emblem of a brand of molasses, the main ingredient of Shoofly Pie, but no one really knows which came first.

Apple Pandowdy is not listed in most lists of Amish food, but its origins are with the Pennsylvania Dutch.

Here is Dinah Shore singing Shoofly Pie and Apple Pandowdy.