Boilerplate
I’m Harold Dykstra. I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story. My time is well spent. A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel. I did not know she was an angel at the time. The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone. And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy. She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others. She changed my life.
In her leaving, she said someone would come. I had thought that was Jesus, in His second coming, but a new Babs, a little older, the model for the posable action figure arrived. While I had no desire to start over with romance, Morrie helped her move in, thinking she was the other Babs who had returned.
This Week’s Question
One day last week, Babs looked at Bible verses about Glorifying God and Praising God. She felt she needed to boost her prayer life a little.
This week Babs was having a private meeting with our grandson Matthew and his girlfriend, Mercedes Lothrop Kildare. Babs told me about it later that day. This story is a first-person Babs story.
I asked, “What is the need for secrecy, Matthew? Or should I be asking Mercy?”
Mercy sighed, “No, the two of us have been begging for Mercy ever since…”
I shrugged, “Ever since what?”
Matthew looked at the floor, “Ever since last Friday night late.”
I smiled, “What happened last Friday night?”
Mercy replied, “Can we just say that we did some bad things?”
Matt nodded, “Yeah, can we just say we were stupid?”
I sighed, “Okay, you came over here together. You asked to talk to me in private. We walked up to my old apartment so that we would not be disturbed. And now you don’t want to talk about it. Is this a good use of your limited free time as college students? Were you taking a course in Logic and this made perfectly good sense at the time that you thought of it?”
Mercy asked, “Matt, Sweetie, can you explain what happened before what happened? Maybe, the innocent stuff first and once we start talking, maybe our brains won’t put the brakes on when we get to the stupid stuff.”
Matt groaned, “Or the more stupid stuff after the initial stupid stuff. Okay, Last Friday, Mom, Dad, Maddie, and Mike all went to the away game for Vitamin Flintheart. They were playing at the state capitol. It’s the farthest away game of the season. They weren’t going to be back until a little after midnight, if they didn’t get stuck in traffic.”
I asked, “And this plays into the stupid thing that you did? Will we need to buy a pregnancy test kit in another week?”
Mercy gasped, “No!”
I nodded, “Okay, now that we have established that, we are in ground that we can deal with. Please continue, Matt, Sweetie, or is that reserved for Mercy alone?”
Matt moaned, “You are not making this any easier, Grabbabs. Okay, I picked up Mercy and we had an early meal at the Murphy burger near the campus. We decided to walk through the apartment complex next door. A lot of college students live there. We heard a lot of loud music, some partying even though the sun had not set, and the dumpsters smelled of alcohol. Then, we saw this guy carrying out a decent sized box and he was going to throw it in the dumpster. I asked him what he was throwing out and he said that it was old DVDs. He and his friends had seen them all, and they needed the space for new stuff. If I wanted them, I could have them. So, sight unseen, I took the box and put it in the car.”
I sighed, “Matt, it seems that this story revolves around the collection of DVDs and the fact that in going back to your house, there would be no supervision. Am I right?”
Matt looked at the floor, “Grabbabs, you made the story shorter but not easier to tell. Now I have to abruptly reach the first level of stupidity.”
When we got back to the house, I hauled the box to my room. I set up the DVD player, and Mercy joked about whether we should shuffle the DVD stack or just picked one from the middle. She opted for the latter, and I put the DVD into the player, again sight unseen. While the movie started, we thought we could get away with missing the opening credits. We both went to the kitchen and popped a bag of popcorn, and I got two glasses filled with ice and our favorite beverages. Nothing with alcohol. When we got back to the room, we saw you on the screen.”
I groaned, “Please tell me that I had clothing on.”
Mercy nodded, “Yes, but not for long. I think I heard your lover say, ‘Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle.’ (Song of Songs 7:3).”
Matt said, “But I think he said, ‘Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.’ (Song of Songs 7:7-9).”
I smiled, “I know that the actor said none of that. I never did a film where we quoted Scripture. You know, that is what makes my relationship to Matthew’s grandfather so special. We bring Scripture into everything we do. But I think you were ashamed of what you saw and you invented those lines in the Script to put a sugar coating on something that was not nice at all.”
They both stared at their shoes. They must have done a great job of polishing their shoes. That is all they seemed to be able to look at.
I scrunched my nose, “Please, look at me. Look at my eyes, Matt. You too, Mercy.
I nodded, “Let’s look in the next chapter from where you quoted. ‘Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned. Friends We have a little sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister on the day she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar. She I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.’ (Song of Songs 8:7-10). Notice the sequence. The Shunamite says that water cannot quench love, and what the next line is talking about is that you cannot buy love. Then, the friends say that they have a sister who is not old enough yet. But they will build towers of silver on her. In other words, she is not fully woman yet, but they will sweeten the deal with silver and panels of cedar. In the old days, the special touch in an old house was that the lady’s closet would be lined in cedar paneling so that her clothing smelled nice when she put it on. But, the Shunamite had just said that you cannot buy love. And here, her friends are trying to rush the marriage with gifts to cover for the fact that the bride is not ready. Then the Shunamite says that She is a wall and her breasts are towers, like gun turrets or watchtowers in that wall. And her husband will not seek those added riches, for what he sees will be contentment. We forget that one day, we will be the bride of Christ. He will be content with us and we with Him. Now, Matt, put on this sleep mask.”
Matt asked, “Why?”
I huffed, “I will not explain. It will become obvious.” Matt did as he was told. “Now, Mercy, remove your sweatshirt. Oh, not wearing a bra. That’s bold, or are you planning to give Matt easy access later on? Don’t answer that. You know, Mercy. You have me beat. I see know lasting marks from your boy toy. And God makes us new creations, where our sins are forgiven. ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!’ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Have you bathed since this ruffian molested you?” Mercy snickered, but she nodded. “Okay, you will not find any fingerprints from the ruffian. Please, put your sweatshirt back on.”
Matt removed the blindfold, “What was that all about, Grabbabs?”
I smiled, “It was an object lesson ‘When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.’ (Colossians 2:13-14). Now, you can never unsee what you have seen. You can never untouch what you have touched. But I want the two of you to face each other. Look each other in the eyes.” They did as commanded. “Now, Mercy, if Matt’s eyes drift from your eyes to your upper frontals, tap him on the knee, gently. The next time, tap him twice, but a little harder. You are not punishing him as much as you are training him to look into your eyes. The third violation, a light slap on the knee. The fourth, a hard slap on the knee. If the dumb idiot needs a fifth reminder, kick him in the shins.”
Matt protested, “What if her gaze goes downward. I am not the only one with hormone flowing problems.”
I laughed, “Matt, Mercy, all you said was that you saw pictures of my breasts from a couple of decades ago. They do not look that way now. Age and gravity are starting to be unkind. Not bad, but the glowing comments that Harold makes about my body is somewhat due to his eyes not focusing as well as they used to do. When you saw my body, did you stop the DVD?”
Mercy said, “Yes, but then the next one that I pulled out was one with you and Suzy Q. Curiosity got the better of us, and that was simply gross.”
I snickered, “I’ll tell Sue that the next time we talk. We call each other about every other day. When she said that I am the only mother who was a mother to her, I guess we are living that now. But then what?”
Matt said, “I found an old DVD of a sitcom from when we were little. But then, our engines were revved up. I slid my hand underneath her blouse, and she did not mind. We started kissing. Then she reached down and pulled my shirt over my head and kissed my chest. I took that as an invitation, so I did the same. We stayed on second base.”
I asked, “But nothing below the Mendoza line?”
Mercy said, “No, but what is the Mendoza Line?”
I laughed, “You understand, but you have no idea what it is. A lot of people use it for a lot of things, but since you said second base, I thought you would understand the Mendoza Line, since it started with baseball. There was once an infielder named Mario Mendoza. He was one of those marvelous fielders that once every couple of games, he would make a catch or a throw to get someone out that no one else in the league could come close. But when he was batting, he was not that good. The Mendoza Line became .200 batting average, basically one hit every five at bats, when most hitters are near one in every three, at least three in every ten. I see Matt doing the math in his head. So, as long as Mendoza stayed above the Mendoza Line, his glove outweighed his lack of batting. So, the Mendoza Line that is critical in love making is the belt line. There is a distinction between third base and a home run in love making, but once you get that far, it is … ummm … difficult to stay on third.”
Mercy snickered, “You were about to say hard.”
I laughed, “Yes, that’s why it is difficult. Now, you need to reprogram your thinking. I am going to read some Scriptures to you. I want you to use these Scriptures or find your own. Memorize them. And repeat them to each other while staring into their eyes. We might change the Mendoza Line to the neck line for the eyes. Understand? ‘“‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.’ (Lev. 18:8). That includes your grandfather’s wife, even watching her old videos and lusting.””
Mercy asked, “Where is the rule about not having sex while on your period. I know my friends don’t care about that.”
I groaned, “That is in that same chapter. “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.’ (Lev. 18:19). Now this goes faster if you do not interrupt.” They snickered. “Here are some about lustfulness being like the act itself. ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’ (Matthew 5:28). ‘For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.’ (1 John 2:16). ‘but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.’ (James 1:14-15). ‘“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.’ (Job 31:1).”
Mercy asked, “But we could hardly look at each other for the past week.”
I laughed, “That is what shame does. “‘Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.’ (Genesis 2:25). That was before the fall. But what about after they had taken a bite of the forbidden fruit? ‘Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.’ (Genesis 3:7). ‘Everyone comes naked from their mother’s womb, and as everyone comes, so they depart. They take nothing from their toil that they can carry in their hands.’ (Ecclesiastes 5:15). So, what has happened to shame? ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,’ (Romans 8:1). ‘“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.’ (Isaiah 54:4). ‘For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”’ (Hebrews 8:12).
Matt asked, “Widowhood? What is that about?”
I smiled, “The chapter in Isaiah is about how God will redeem the barren widow – basically, the remnant that returns. It speaks of Heaven to a degree, God Himself will be the husband that will redeem this barren widow. But that speaks to everyone who is saved by God.”
Matt said, “I like this exercise. I think all guys have eyes that wander. But are you going to tell our folks?”
I shrugged, “About what? You had fun together, but you have realized you crossed a line and you are not going there until after you are married. Are you going to get married?”
Mercy smiled, “He has not proposed.”
Without dropping his gaze, Matt slid a hand into his pocket and produced a ring. “Will you marry me?”
Mercy said, “Yes! And like we talked about when it was just a ‘what if’, next summer.”
They went into each other’s arms and kissed.
End of Babs’ story.
I (Harold) said, “You did a great job. But did you set up an accountability system?”
Babs laughed, “They have to call me once each week or I call them. And if they do not answer for a few days, they either text or I call their folks to ask about their wellbeing.”
Credits
All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife. We would talk about anything and everything. And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.
I did not get this technique from a textbook or the internet, but it sounded like it might work when both are true believers. And I think my wife was impish enough to be that person that you could tell your darkest secret and she would not pass it along. The grandchildren talked to her a lot.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
Leave a comment