Boilerplate
I’m Harold Dykstra. I’m retired, but I go to food bank distributions all over Tracy and talk to people that need someone who will listen to their story. My time is well spent. A police lieutenant suggested that I write down the conversations that I had with an angel. I did not know she was an angel at the time. The angel, for a little over a year, indwelled a life-sized posable action figure my children bought me, so that I would not be perceived as travelling alone. And in a way, she was training me for what I do while talking to the needy. She probed my heart to find out what I believed and how I express love for others. She changed my life.
In her leaving, she said someone would come. I had thought that was Jesus, in His second coming, but a new Babs, a little older, the model for the posable action figure arrived. While I had no desire to start over with romance, Morrie helped her move in, thinking she was the other Babs who had returned.
This Week’s Question
One day last week, Babs and I hosted the Hugh McAdoo family, and we went to a couple of Trunk or Treat events.
This week Babs had me barred from the kitchen. She and Willie’s children, Jayke and Janella, had gone grocery shopping. They had something in mind, but they gave me no hints at all. The only hint that they were in the kitchen was that Jayke’s laughter and Janella squealing with delight or yelling “No!” while laughing.
At the assigned hour, Gil and Willie walked into the living room. I was waiting for them there.
I suppose Babs heard the door knock. They did not ring the bell. She opened the door to the dining room to announce that dinner was served.
We went into the dining room, and there were two platters of sandwiches, some rolled things on skewers, and a huge bowl of mac and cheese.
Babs said, “Your appetizer salad is also your place setting. The salad is the children’s creations of what they see you to be.”
Gil huffed, “Are you sure or did you teach them from your prior life? These are risqué salads.”
Babs fanned herself, “Oh, dear, my step son-in-law does not trust me? Think of it this way, Gil. If you went to a psychiatrist, they might put your children through the same exercise. At the psychiatrist’s office, they will charge you hundreds of dollars, and you will leave confused. Here, you have the answers to what your children see in you from a physical sense mostly, and you get to eat it and be nourished.”
Gil asked, “Do we get some hints as to which ones are which? What is this kind of salad?”
Jayke said, “Yummy, Daddy. It starts with lettuce leaves. Then there is cottage cheese to hold everything together. The stuff might roll around. Then, there is a canned peach half for a face. The eyes and nose are raisins. The mouth is slivers of red pepper. Grabbabs cut it the way we wanted. And the hair matches the hair color. Daddy, we used celery root for the brown hair. We used shredded cheese for the blonde hair.”
I asked, “What is the white hair?”
Babs smiled, “You say we are all pink on the inside. What is white on the inside and red on the outside?”
I smiled, “I love radishes. And the celery with pimento cheese inside represents the arms and legs. The bodies are different.”
Janella smiled, “Pake, everybody but Mommy got a pear half that Grabbabs trimmed to be smaller. Mommy got the full pear half. Mommy, there is something hidden inside.” Janella was dancing with excitement.
Willie took her fork and placed it in an obvious slice in the pear. She pried the slice open. There was a cashew nut inside.
Babs sighed, “The children have seen ultrasound pictures of babies, and they thought a cashew looked the closest. Believe me, we spent a long time in the grocery store getting everything they needed. It was all their idea.”
Gil growled, “But everyone is avoiding the gender specific items in the salad. I am a pastor. I need to know how they know this and why they chose different things. And who is to blame.”
Willie huffed, “Gil, they are children and they observe things. Then their imagination goes to work. I can see that Janella’s upper frontals are red cherries. Mine look the size of cherry tomatoes, but why does Grabbabs have plum cherries?”
Babs smiled, “Flaunt it if you’ve got it. I was once known as Bountiful Babs, and there was a reason for that. But the children said that I was older.”
Gil, still fuming, said, “But now for the elephant in the room. I have two olives and a baby carrot. Pake has two larger olives and a larger carrot. And Jayke has two raisins and a sweet gherkin.”
Jayke smiled, “Pake is older, and I like gherkins and raisins. I can’t wait for the blessing so that I can eat them.”
Willie laughed, “Gil, the kids are just being kids. I do not want any PK rebellion here. We cannot avoid having preacher’s kids, but we can give them space to grow up and learn things without the fear of Daddy not liking what they are doing. I think this took a lot of thought and a lot of wonderful imagination.”
Gil nodded, “Okay, I get the thought process. I suppose Janella prefers cherries over tomatoes. And once we have eaten the salad, there is no evidence of it. But what if I want more carrots, or a gherkin or two?”
Babs smiled and bowed, “That is why there is a fully stocked relish tray on the sideboard. But I took pictures of each salad. We have plenty of evidence.”
I said the blessing to give Gil a break. We all enjoyed the salad.
I asked, “What are the sandwiches and the roll things on a skewer?”
Babs replied, “The buns have shredded chicken that was slow cooked barbequed all day as tenders. Then the kids pulled it apart. Then the rolls on skewers are taco seasoned shredded chicken in a soft flour tortilla. Take the meat, salsa, cheese, and lettuce and roll them. Then cut them to a bite sized length and use a cherry tomato to put a gap between each roll on the skewer. We have little bowls of taco sauce on the table. The darker red is the hot stuff. And I think the sandwich halves are obvious, grilled cheese sandwiches.”
I laughed, “I see a theme here. Cottage cheese in the salads, along with the shredded cheddar for the blondes in the room. Grilled cheese sandwiches, taco rolls with probably a Mexican blend, and do we have cheese for dessert?”
Janella beamed, “No, we have spisketti.”
Willie groaned, “Janella, that is spaghetti. And you do not have spaghetti for dessert. After eating all this, I do not think I would have room for a plate of spaghetti.”
While she said that, Babs went to the kitchen and came back with a cake plate. The cake was covered. She put it on the table where the sandwiches had been. And when she removed the cover, it looked like a plate of spaghetti.
Babs said, “I will have to admit, we went by Lily the Pink bakery. They baked a yellow cake, and they gave us the different types of fondant and a bowl of reddish orange butter cream frosting. You carefully place the light yellow fondant noodles over the cake. Then you pour the tomato sauce butter cream frosting over it. The green basil leaves are fondant.”
Gil moaned, “Please tell me that you do not have parmesan cheese on top.”
Janella squealed with laughter, “No, Daddy, Grabbabs grated white chocolate over the top.”
I said, “I hope you have extra fake cheese grated somewhere. You know how I like adding more cheese to my spisketti!”
Willie said, “It’s spaghetti, Dad. A spaghetti cake, but get the word right. Please.”
Babs leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “When you have eaten all your food, I have something better. I have the block of white chocolate and the grater. I will start grating and I won’t stop until you tell me to, just like at the restaurant.”
When we had finished, Gil said, “I think we need to thank our big cook and the two little helpers, but we need a discussion on propriety.”
I sighed, “How about starting with this… ‘and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,’ (1 Corinthians 12:23). Paul is talking about the workers in the church. We all have gifts. We should all use our gifts. If your gift is carrying out the trash, then that might seem less honorable. If your gift is to unclog a toilet, then that might be unpresentable. So, to look at Paul’s metaphor at face value, our tomatoes, olives, cherries, raisins, carrots, and pickles. Those are less honorable parts of the body, but they are useful parts of the body. Janella will have a long time, hopefully long after her tomatoes develop, before she needs to use them. And the added use of some of the other veggies will not be evident for a long time, but we all go to the bathroom. Not an honorable thing to talk about, but a necessary thing to do. They are covered by the swimsuit because they are not honorable, at least less honorable. But the spleen, liver, lungs, and kidneys are useful parts of the body that no one sees. So, for purposes of our lives being maintained properly, they are literally unpresentable. If you show one right now, we will have to send you to the doctor really quick.”
Babs said, “And in 1 Timothy… ‘I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.’ (1 Timothy 2:9-10). This is looking at modest dress. I heard a story about a young girl who had never been to church before. She came in and her bottom was showing, part of the crack. Is that too detailed? Anyway, some in the church were happy that she was there. But others wanted to pull her aside and tell her that she was not appropriately dressed, but some of those who wanted to make the girl change her attire had elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, and expensive clothing. Just a jersey of the local sports teams is expensive clothing, and it also sends the wrong signal. Who is your God when you wear that to church? ‘But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.’ (1 Timothy 2:16). Gil, Sweetie, this verse mentions your propriety, but what is this about saved through child bearing.”
Gil replied, “Grabbabs, no man brought salvation into this world. A woman did. Mary, through giving birth to Jesus, brought the means to salvation into the world. Now, for even Mary to be saved, she had to believe and trust in Jesus. All women need faith or they are not saved. But Paul is making this point to fight against the idea that many have regarding Eve taking a bite of the fruit first. But even then, Adam was right there and he took a bite also. Maybe Adam was thinking that if Eve dies instantly, he can save himself by not taking a bite. To many that is even less honorable. But a sin is a sin regardless. So, to those who do not accept that both were equally guilty, woman, in the person of Mary, brought the means to salvation.”
I snickered, “Now let’s get down to the important aspects of living a blameless life – all of us, not just PKs. ‘Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.’ (2 Peter 2:12). This is not saying that we are sinless. This is living in such a way that others do not find fault in our actions and character.”
Willie sighed, “What about idle talk? ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’ (Ephesians 4:29). Mommie Pinkie has that swear jar and the children are motivated to not need to put money in the jar. Just think of Jayke coming home and saying that he needs five dollars. It would be horribly embarrassing to admit a sin that could receive a punishment from us in the process of him paying off a debt to Mommie Pinkie for the same thing. Punished twice for one offense, but unwholesome talk could also be gossip. It does not need to be a swear word.”
I said, “What about this? ‘But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.’ (1 Corinthians 14:49). The context here is speaking in tongues and prophecy. These are fruits of the Spirit, but they could be used to disrupt the worship service, and do you get anything out of the service other than a nice feeling? We need to be edified to grow. And that is Paul’s point here. Allow those things, but control them so as to not disrupt the worship service. ‘Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.’ (Romans 12:10). This gets back to the fancy clothing and such, but it gets to the reason for avoiding that, to be humble. We are not to simply act humble. We are to be humble.”
Gil laughed, “Can I pile on a little? ‘When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.’ (Proverbs 11:2). And maybe that is my problem. I want that blamelessness to carry onto my children. When they start making salads with things that represent what is hidden by the bathing suit, people might think I was the one who told them. I should not be worried about that. If people know my character, they will know that they got it from Babs.”
We laughed, but Babs yelled, “Wait a cotton-picking minute here, Rev. Whitefield!”
Gil asked, “Did I get under your skin with my joking around? Sorry, Babs. They know their own plumbing and the upper frontals are rather obvious. I should have never suspected you.”
Babs smiled, “If that was an apology, I accept it. Yes, my past was checkered, but that is behind me. ‘For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.’ (Philippians 1:21). ‘I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.’ (Galatians 2:20). Do I really need to add my own words after that?”
I smiled, “No, I think that is enough.”
Gil smiled, “And I want to thank my two children for a wonderful cheesy supper.”
Jayke and Janella simply laughed.
Credits
All these conversations remind me of my conversations with my wife. We would talk about anything and everything. And most of the time, it sounded like a discussion in a Sunday school class.
My sister’s husband passed away nearly two years ago. One of his favorite stories was a meal that I made for the entire family when I was ten, actually before he and my sister got married. I made the same kind of fruit salads, but not that gender specific. But he laughed for the next sixty years about how “naughty” I was in decorating each salad to look like the person. Frankly all that I can remember was the lettuce leaf, cottage cheese and pear half.
And yes, I have had elaborate meals with cheese in just about everything.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
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