IBS from Woke Sauce

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”

  • Numbers 11:4-6

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites: ‘When any of you or your descendants are unclean because of a dead body or are away on a journey, they are still to celebrate the Lord’s Passover, but they are to do it on the fourteenth day of the second month at twilight. They are to eat the lamb, together with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.

  • Numbers 9:9-11

About 16 months ago, I wrote a post about With or Without Woke Sauce.  I had gone to a fast food place that had sold millions, billions, maybe trillions of burgers over the years.  The burger tasted “off” and the fries were totally tasteless.

Why tasteless fries?  I attributed it to no salt, a healthy oil, and such, but a former manager at a store told me that they used GMO (Genetically Modified Organisms) because the potato producers could not keep up with the demand for the French Fries.  They use potatoes, but GMO potatoes, or so an insider told me.  My complaint was that there seemed to be nothing but tasteless pith once you bit through the outer crust of the fries.  No potato taste at all.

It had been months since I had gone to this chain of restaurants, but recently my wife was ill and wanted their signature burger.  I got a plain cheeseburger with no onions.  It had no taste either, until I got to the single pickle slice.  I was dumbfounded that the only taste these burgers had was in the onions.  The tiny pickle slice was all in one bite.  It was very tiny.

I did not wish to have the onions because I belch for hours after eating raw onions, but if the onions are cooked, I will have a major IBS attack.  Learning all this the hard way.  Actually, the green part of green onions is not bad.  That bit is low in oligosaccharides, the carbohydrates that give me IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) issues.

Again a week later, my wife was ill, missing Sunday school.  I called after the class was over to see if I should go by the grocery store on the way home, but she wanted a particular sandwich.  Only problem was that they were not serving lunch yet.  I got the breakfast sandwich that had the same basic ingredients, just egg instead of the lettuce and tomato.  Since it was just a burger, egg, and cheese on a bagel, what could go wrong?  I ordered one also.  I told them that I wanted no onions.

The sandwich had an aioli sauce.  I am sure it met all the woke requirements.  But the server did not know that the aioli was predominantly onion.  I loved it.  This sandwich is the first thing from this restaurant with taste in over three years.  My wife marveled that I ate the burger and enjoyed it.  She gets this whole IBS thing mixed up.  She thinks that I hate onions.  No.  I love onions, but onions do not love me anymore.  Maybe they never did.

About an hour later, the diarrhea started.  As I write this, I could easily have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  My system is empty, and I never took any “Go Lightly”.

Sorry if that last paragraph was too graphic, but I could not think of a delicate way to say it.  Problem is that my digestive system is still working on continuing the process.  How?  Maybe since I am extremely thirsty, it will be fueled by water alone.

But if I can fix extremely tasty burgers at home without using onions, how is it that the big chain fast food burgers have no flavor in the burgers or fries, without something foreign added to them?  They even claim 100% beef burgers.  I can understand frying the fries in a “healthy” oil, but grilling a burger that is 100% beef should have taste even if you screw it up.

I guess I am sounding like the Israelites in the first Scripture above, the only mention of onions and garlic in the entire Bible.  This whining by the Israelites was the prelude to God sending them quail to eat.  The second Scripture is obvious.  It is part of God’s instructions on how to prepare the Passover feast each year.

We laugh at the Israelites complaining and wanting to return to the slavery of Egypt, but are we much better?  God provides for us, and we complain that the burgers and fries do not have any taste.

I pray that my next meal, after my digestive system is finished with its “fun”, that the meal will be tasty but something my system can withstand.  I am learning about a lot of herbs that do not give me a reaction, and they make the food taste good.

God is good, even when making provisions that taste good.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Only to God be the Glory.

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