Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley

I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises.  If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.

Samuel and Menzie walked into my office.  They had taken the children to the nursery.  They had written signed confessions.  And they came to my office to present them.

This was bizarre, but then Samuel was starting a pre-law degree in the Fall.

Oh, a little back story.  Menzie had been abducted by an organized crime king pin in Sophie’s report last week.  Sophie affected the escape with a lot of help from the Tracy police, the Stout County sheriff’s department, and various federal agencies. All within 24 hours.  Menzie was in therapy as a result.

But Angus and Missy had committed themselves at a Scottish Highland Games: dancing and piping.  While there, they were going to research all the connected families: MacDougall, Menzies, Campbell, and Farquharson.

To give Menzie someone who would be nearby, Missy and Angus allowed Menzie’s fiancé, Samuel, the opportunity to sleep in their bed.  Menzie would sleep in her own bed.  And the children already shared a bedroom: Lauren (nearly five years old), Sammie (three), and Missy’s daughter Ailsa (two months old).  Menzie knew how to warm her mother’s milk in the fridge for Ailsa, and when that ran out, Jochebed or one of the other nursing mothers would supply what was needed.

It tore Missy up to abandon her children, even for an extended weekend, but under the circumstances, they wanted Menzie to stay safe within the confines of Lily the Pink.

Rather than give you each of their confessions, the following is a composite in third person:

Menzie was wearing a plush bath robe.  Menzie said, “Lauren, Sammie, time for bed.”

Lauren asked, “Mommie, what are you and Daddy going to do after we go to bed?”

Menzie said, “We are going to turn the music down low and practice our dance moves.  We have to be ready for the Nation’s birthday bash.  We are doing the same performance at both.  Since you are asking, what do you think we are going to do?”

Lauren smiled, “I thought you would be dancing, but you have a bathrobe on.  I didn’t think you would be dancing in your robe.”

Menzie snickered, “Maybe I’ll change then.  You two go to bed now.”

Sammie said, “Lullaby, Mommy.”

Menzie asked, “What lullaby do you want, Sammie?”

Sammie said, “Japanese Sandman.”  Lauren nodded eagerly.

Menzie said, “But let’s think about that song.  The Japanese Sandman is an old second hand man.  He trades silver for gold.  Can anyone do that?”

Lauren laughed, “No, but God can do anything.”

Menzie nodded, “And the Japanese Sandman trades new days for old.  Who is it that every night when you go to bed, He trades the old day that is passing by and brings a new day when you awake in the morning?”

Samie said, “Jesus!”

Menzie smiled, “Okay, I will sing ‘The Japanese Sandman’ but you both know that it is Jesus that we trust to help us through the night and welcome us tomorrow with a new day.”  Then, she sang the lullaby.

Here are the Andrews Sisters singing The Japanese Sandman.

Sammie said, “Night, night, Mommy.  I love you.”

Lauren said, “I love the way you sing that song, Mommy.  And I love you, too.”

Menzie kissed them and said good night.  Ailsa was already asleep.

Menzie turned out the lights and turned on a white noise maker.

She softly closed the door and turned to see Samuel standing there smiling.  “I like the way you sing that song, too.”

Menzie shrugged.  “I sing it like it is, a lullaby.”  Then she shrugged off the bathrobe, and she had on her dancing shoes and lacy babydoll lingerie.

“Woah.” Samuel said, “We are practicing our dancing, and we promised your parents that we could be trusted.”

Menzie asked, “You don’t like how I am dressed?!”

Samuel shrugged, “Greater chance of a wardrobe malfunction, but to be honest, about a third of the routine involves things we can’t do anyway.  The floor is carpeted, and the ceiling is a standard eight feet.  So, not a lot of sliding on the floor or high flips over my head.  But our biggest trick is your 540 degree spin over my back.  With the satin undies, that might go better.”

Menzie smiled, “Or I will lose my grip and slide off and hurt myself.  But let’s do what we said we would do.”

For the next hour, they did about two-thirds of their routine several times.  They were both winded.  Menzie went to the fridge and came back with some cider for each of them.

Samuel took a few swallows, and then he nearly choked.  “Menzie, what are you doing?  First the slinky baby doll.  Now, alcoholic cider.  You are up to something, and it has me concerned.  We cannot afford to betray the trust that your parents and mine have in us.”

Menzie nested her fingers in his.  “But if I do not get pregnant, no one will know.”

Samuel whispered, “What?!  We promised your parents that we would behave.  What has gotten into you?”

Menzie said, “Just hold me.”  And they embraced.

Samuel whispered, “Tell me, Menzie.  What is going on?  This is not you.”

Menzie cried for a while.  “Mr. Wang told me that having two children was meaningless.  They were the offspring of infidels.  I would be purified, and to him, I would be his virgin bride.  But if I can get pregnant before he touches me again, I won’t be worthy.  He did not like his wives to shave their body hair, so I have been shaving it, all over.  He wanted no blemishes on my body.  Please, Samuel, give me a hickey where the sun don’t shine.  I have to be unpresentable when Mr. Wang returns.  I don’t want him to want me.”

Samuel said, “But Mr. Wang is in jail.  He will be tried and convicted.”

Menzie cried, “Some fiancé you are.  He declared diplomatic immunity.  They’re checking it out, but they’ll have to let him go.  His face is wired shut because what Mama did to him, but he’ll be free to go once he gets cleared from the hospital.  We can’t even take his jet away from him, but somehow, I think Aunt Tuesday will hold onto the narcotics.  His plane will be lighter on the return trip.  I just don’t want to be on the plane with him.”

Samuel said, “There’s got to be a way.  The State Department can do something.  There is no way he is claiming that he purchased you and you are his property.  A government cannot take away a diplomat’s property, but a human being?  No, that isn’t right.  There must be a way.”

Menzie said, “There is a way.  Make me pregnant.”

Samuel hesitated, “No, Menzie, the State Department has to have some leverage.”

Menzie sighed, “Samuel, you are disappointing me, but I am Second Base on the softball team.  Since Sammie came into the world, you have not gotten past first base.  Go to Second Base, Samuel.  Mark your territory with a couple of hickeys.  Please, if he walks in here tomorrow, I will show him the hickeys.  I won’t be his pure virgin anymore.  Please!”

Samuel did as he was told.

Menzie said, “Ow!  If you were the least bit romantic about it, it might not hurt so much.”

Samuel groaned, “I still don’t think this is right.  Listen, I have ‘marred’ your body.  But hickeys disappear after a week or two.  Sometimes sooner.  I think turning to God is the best option, Menzie.  Mom and Dad always read the Bible before going to bed.  He reminded me today where they are in their reading, so I think he was hinting that we should read too.  Let’s go to your folks’ bed.  That’s where they want me to sleep.  They have reading lamps.  I’ll read.”

Samuel began reading in Leviticus.  Menzie asked why.  If his parents are doing the One Year Bible routine, they should be further along.  Samuel laughed and explained that they read the Bible in 8 to 9 months, but then they start over at the beginning.

But as Samuel read, Menzie’s hands were roaming around his body.  Samuel would stop reading to tell her to stop on occasion.

Then, it happened, Samuel said in a higher pitch than usual, “And what do you think you are doing?  We agreed to Second Base.”

Menzie said, “I agreed to Second Base as long as I didn’t get bored.  I got bored, so I stole third base.  And sliding into third, I found something.”

Samuel, voice ever so much higher pitched, “And I think you should let it go.  Remember that you have protection in place.  You would not get pregnant, but our relationship would take a serious hit.  You grabbed me while I was reading the Bible.  That is not nice, Menzie.  Even my mother waits for Dad to finish reading.  But then again, I cannot picture those two doing it anymore.”

Menzie kissed Samuel on the cheek, “You forget that Elspeth and I have become friends.  Your parents are a very active couple.  They enjoy each other’s company.  Frankly, I have a feeling that they are in the hot tub together, right now, naked as jay birds.”

Samuel groaned, “And how do you have the slightest idea what they are doing?”

Menzie snickered, “Your Mom told me that she loves you, but whenever you are away, they play naughty games.  Don’t tell anyone that I said that.  Your Dad must maintain his stoic judge demeanor.”  Samuel moaned.  Menzie continued, “And I have learned something.  Do not feel slighted when I say this, but the MacLaren boy had a thing the size of a bratwurst.  He thought he was hot stuff, but that was the only one of those things that I ever saw.  But when you came along, yours was the size of a single hot dog, ten to the pound.  Sorry, Sweetie, you made up for it by wanting me to enjoy the experience.  We learned that stuff together.  Grandmama got irritated that you took so long to get me pregnant, but we fell in love somewhere along the line.  I was just thinking that your little thing wasn’t capable of making me pregnant, but then Sammie came along.”

Samuel said, “When we started our love making, I was only fourteen years old.  You had Lauren already, but I had never slept with a girl before.  A man’s virility peaks in the late teens to early twenties, so I have had time to grow up since our last time in bed together.  And please, Menzie, let go of it.  You are driving me crazy.”

Menzie snickered, “I guess that has changed too.  We had a hard time getting you going on occasion.  And here this thing must be the size of a kielbasa.  I am never looking at a kielbasa the same way again.  Oh, wait!  Have you been sneaking a little of Jochebed’s male enhancement potion that she is not supposed to be making?”

Samuel sighed, “No, why would I?  This kind of thing was not supposed to happen until our wedding night, and we were thinking that was three years away.  But back to my lack of performance when we eventually brought Sammie into the world, I constantly had the thought that people were watching us.  Now, please, let go.  I am here to protect you.  I am here to give you a hug if you feel insecure.  I am here to shower you with hugs and kisses, but your obsession with getting pregnant and making yourself unacceptable to Mr. Wang is your own anxiety working overtime.  Julia has this place well-guarded.  We are safe, Menzie.  And we should rely on God to protect us anyway.  So, I will stay here with you, and we can hug.”

Menzie said, “I feel warm all over in your arms.”  In a couple of minutes, Samuel heard heavy breathing.  But Menzie was in the bed where he was to sleep.  Each time he moved, she would whine and clinch him even tighter.  She held him around his waist; she had finally let go of “third base.”

Samuel did not want to stay in the same bed with her.  They were not married, but Menzie was holding on tightly, even in her sleep.  And more importantly, Samuel did not think he would sleep at all if he did not take a cold shower.

But then, the next thing they remembered, either of them, was Lauren asking, “Did Mommy and Daddy sleep together last night?”

Menzie awoke blurting out denials, but then she was in a slinky lingerie in her parent’s bed.  Samuel was wearing only his sweatpants.  He denied doing anything also.

But to Lauren, it was an open and shut case.  She had no understanding of the sexual aspects of “sleeping together.”  She simply saw both of them in the same bed, and asleep.

Sammie came in, to add even more embarrassment to the situation.  He giggled, “Mommy, Daddy, can we get a hug?”

Samuel picked up Sammie, and Lauren crawled up on her own.  Lauren asked, “What did you do last night?”

If she understood what they might have done, that would be different.  Samuel and Menzie were not quite awake yet, but Samuel saw the reading light was still on and the Bible next to the bed.

Samuel said, “We read the Bible.  We got so tired that we fell asleep.  That is all that happened.”

Menzie smiled, “Yes, Daddy is a good reader.  He read a lot, but we had been dancing a lot before that.  We did not realize how tired we were.  So, you two go get your toothbrushes.  Sammie, let Lauren put the toothpaste on your brush.  If you do it, you’ll have half the tube spread all over the bathroom vanity.  I will be in there to help you as soon as I change clothes.”

Lauren said, “I like what you are wearing, Mommy.  I want to be just like you when I grow up.  And we came in to let you know that Ailsa is awake and crying.”

Menzie shook her head, “Not a chance that I will wear this outside the apartment today.  But I hope you grow up to be a lovely girl that loves Jesus.  Nothing else matters, Lauren.”

Lauren and Sammie both said they loved Jesus and they went to the bathroom.

And now, Sammie and Lauren are in the play area with my children.  Mary Jones was watching them since Grannie Fannie and Lancelot had their three children out on an outing.  Samuel and Menzie are in the visitors’ chairs.  And I had just read each of their confessions, amazingly close to the same, at least regarding the major points of discussion and the things that they did and did not do.

I said, “Interesting.  You agree on most of the points.  Eyewitness accounts often differ more than these.  Did you collude with one another?”

They shook their heads.

I nodded, “I want to congratulate the two of you for not fully giving in to the temptation.  As Menzie said in her report, no one would know if she did not get pregnant, but both of you would know.  You are dedicated to Jesus.  You show it in the way you live each day.  Betraying each other would bring guilt into your relationship.  Sure, a sexual sin is just one sin.  Okay, a few sins in that each of you could tempt one another.  Lust would be involved and then the foreplay might be a sin all to itself.  But you know what I mean.  There is only one thing that makes a sexual sin worse.  Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 that all other sin is external to the body, but sexual sin is a sin against your own body.  I have seen people think they had everything worked out – all forgiven – and then late in life, they cannot be intimate with their spouse because the guilt has robbed their bodies of any arousal.  They only feel the guilt instead.  Sure, they could go to therapy, but then they would have to open up to the fact that they had a sexual promiscuous past.  You do realize that we have several ladies who have never gone on a date since our emancipation.  I talk to them and they cannot conceive of doing those things for pleasure and having children is not an option for them.”

Menzie stammered, “But, but, but…”

I smiled, “Menzie, you are making motorboat noises.  Relax.  You have a strong man by your side.  Sure, he was not much of a man when he provided the seed for Sammie, but he had a good heart then.  Menzie, you have been through a lot.  You stopped what you were intending to do.  Of all the couples that are dating, I think the two of you have learned the most about each other.  But you also know that God wants us to be subject to civil authorities, and those authorities say that you are not married yet.  Stay the course you two.  Take a cold shower.”

Menzie asked, “Together?”

I groaned, “I do not think so.”

There was a knock at the door.  I asked them to come in.  It was Julia and Elroy.

Elroy said, “I have not gotten word yet.  Mr. Wang will be arriving at the country who gave him the diplomatic passport.  He had that passport so that he could transport narcotics through that country and the others of that region.  He never got a hassle at border crossings due to his diplomat status.  But the country where he is going brags about having a hard line against organized crime.  Crime is down, and Mr. Wang was only transporting through the country, not selling to anyone in the country.  But sometimes it is worse to get caught than it is to be guilty.  They could turn a blind eye to his transportation without inspection, but he was caught in the USA.  His method of hiding narcotics on his airplane was discovered.  And regardless of how many slaves that the government officials may or may not have, he was attempting to transport a slave from the USA, his property that he had to possess.”

I smiled, “Thank you for the back story, now for the verdict.”

Elroy said, “My contact in that country says the trial was conducted while Mr. Wang’s transport was on the way home.  The State department was giving him a free ride with escort, but upon arrival in about three hours, he will be arrested, drugged, and his head will be removed from his body, oh, about the time we wake up tomorrow.  Menzie, get a good night’s sleep.  I will text you with the news before Sunday school starts.  Angus and Missy aren’t getting in until early Monday morning, right?”

Menzie nodded, “Yes, and thank you, Elroy.  I feel so much safer.”  She got up and gave him a hug.  Samuel offered a hand to shake.

With all of them gone, Mary came over to my side of the room.  I started to laugh.

Mary said, “Why are you laughing, Mommie Pinkie?  I didn’t hear much, but Menzie and Samuel crossed a few barriers last night.  Can you trust them tonight and tomorrow night?  Should Joseph and I check up on them?”

I smiled, “There’s no need.  Like Menzie said, if they went all the way, she would not be getting pregnant.  But I have the feeling that they will opt for the cold shower, even if the shower is together.  The innocent peeks and the innocent touches are not innocent.  It does violate trusts, and their relationship takes a strange turn.  Remember, they have not only been intimately involved, they produced a son.  I think they will be just fine.  What we just experienced were two youngsters trying to do the right thing.  That is reason to celebrate.”

And there were no incidents that we were aware of.  Menzie had a talk with Lauren to explain that simply sleeping in the same bed did not make you pregnant.  So, she is not pregnant.  But in the arena of baby doll lingerie for Lauren to be just like her Mommy, Gwen Quinn did her magic and when Angus and Missy returned from the highland games, Lauren and Menzie greeted them as they entered the apartment with their matching baby dolls.

Credits

I see no Credits.

But maybe an explanation.  Barely into her teens, Menzie’s grandmother forced her to have sexual relations with boys to bring in children for Grandmama.  Grandmama sold some of them.  With Sophia Yeggs investigating the past of Missy Matthews, she discovered Menzie and the two children.  The police then arrested Ruth Collins and put an end to her human trafficking and fraud of the federal government.  Samuel Farquharson was the second of two boys who slept with Menzie to produce children.  But both Lauren and Sammie call Samuel “Daddy.”  Samuel has proposed to Menzie.   Some time after she gets out of high school, they will marry and Samuel will adopt both children.  But now, prior to the marriage, he has taken on the role of father to both children, in practice if not yet officially.