“‘Do not steal. “‘Do not lie. “‘Do not deceive one another.
- Leviticus 19:11
God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
- Numbers 23:19
Do not listen to the words of the prophets who say to you, ‘You will not serve the king of Babylon,’ for they are prophesying lies to you. ‘I have not sent them,’ declares the Lord. ‘They are prophesying lies in my name. Therefore, I will banish you and you will perish, both you and the prophets who prophesy to you.’”
Then I said to the priests and all these people, “This is what the Lord says: Do not listen to the prophets who say, ‘Very soon now the articles from the Lord’s house will be brought back from Babylon.’ They are prophesying lies to you.
- Jeremiah 27:14-16
Four!
Straight down the middle
It went straight down the middle
Then it started to hook just a wee, wee bit
That’s when my caddie lost sight of it
That little white pellet has never been found to this day
But it went straight down the middle like they say
Whack down the fairway
It went smack down the fairway
Then it started to slice just a smidge off line
It headed for two then it bounced off nine
My caddie says, “Long as you’re still in the state, you’re okay”
Yes, it went straight down the middle, quite a ways
The sun was never brighter
The greens were never greener
And I was never keener to play
I heard it came down the middle
It went zing down the middle
Oh, the life of a golfer is not all gloom
There’s always the lies in the locker room
And I’m in my glory when wrapped in a towel, I say
That it went straight down the middle today
Oh, the life of a golfer is not all gloom
Though they charge you for listening in the locker room
But I’m in my glory when wrapped in a towel, I say
That it went straight down the middle
Where it wound up is a riddle
But it went straight down the middle far away”
- Sammy Cahn, Straight Down the Middle
I heard this song on a car commercial. If golf was being televised, you know the tune, but you might not know the song. Sammy Cahn wrote the lyrics, and Jimmy van Heusen composed this novelty song in 1957. It was used as the theme song for the Bing Crosby Pebble Beach Pro-Am golf tournament. And for some of that time, it was called the Bing Crosby Clam Bake.
Bing Crosby passed away, playing golf in Spain. I played on one golf course where he had been a member. At one time, Aiken, SC was a candidate to be where movies were made, before settling in Southern California. Many celebrities had homes along the highway going south out of Aiken, in the thoroughbred horse breeding area of town. And across from a few of these stately houses, there is the Palmetto Golf Club. When Bing Crosby was in town, the townsfolk would line the fence, from what I was told. I think that was the second hole.
And true to the song, I remember a round like the one Crosby describes. I am right-handed. A hook is a shot that curves to the left. A slice is a shot that curves to the right. Those definitions are reversed for someone who is left-handed. On that day, if the trouble was to the left, I hooked the ball. If the trouble was on the right, I sliced the ball.
I got to the fourteenth tee, just wanting to finish the round so that the jeers from my “friends” would stop. I sliced the ball deep into the woods. The guys laughed at me and told me to take my usual penalty and play a provisional. I was running out of golf balls, so I asked for my five minutes. It only took one minute to find my ball, but there was only a thin straight path to the fairway, maybe three feet wide and going past 6-8 trees on either side. I was deep into the woods.
Now the jeers were that trees were ninety percent air, so shoot the ball through the limbs. They were laughing like crazy. I pulled out my four-iron and opened my stance and the club face. I was not going to simply punch the ball back onto the fairway. I wanted to purposefully slice my ball through that narrow path. Note: trunks of trees are one hundred percent wood. I had to hit a shot like the ball had eyes. Something I had only seen on TV and never done.
They started jeering that the ball was going to bounce off a few tree trunks and this time it would be lost.
But I hit the ball solid. It travelled through that tiny opening, then started to turn. As the song goes, it went straight down the middle, far away. No, it was downhill to the green, and it rolled onto the fringe. I two putted for a par and had honors for the next hole. The jeering stopped, and no one was smiling, except me. I was already twenty or more strokes behind the others, but I did not care. I played by the rules, and I said a little prayer. And God granted me a respite from the jeering for a little while.
I had a lot of memories from that golf club. I was the duffer that the serious golfers put up with so that we could have a foursome. But it was shots like the one from deep in the woods on the 14th hole that kept me going back.
But then, as the boys got older, I could not justify playing a game on Saturday morning for six hours and missing out on them growing up. (Four hours of playing, but then there was the travel to and from and waiting for our tee time, usually a six hour total) A few years later, they got to go with me, but by then, I had parted ways from the old foursome that had playing privileges at the ancient course.
I like golf because there is a certain amount of honor to the game. You take turns properly. You count every stroke. If you have any “do-overs”, called Mulligans, you have already established how many per round. And I never played for money. To me, that would ruin the game.
But a lot of people would cheat. I would not play with them once I knew. We were not playing for money, so why say you were taking a practice swing, when you were truly trying to hit the ball and missed? We have a laugh and we move on.
The song talks about a horrible experience on the course, but after the shower, you could be wrapped in a towel and tell all sorts of whoppers about how wonderful your game was. But that just wasn’t me. I would talk about the long putt or the shot from the woods on the 14th hole. But then if anyone asked about my score, I would say it was so bad that I lost count.
And have I hit the ball straight down the middle and still lost my golf ball? Yes. I can remember two occasions. On the Pleasure Island golf course in Port Arthur, TX, we had sheltered during a brief rainstorm. My golf ball splashed into a puddle in the middle of the fairway, best drive I had all day. This hole normally had no water in sight. In the five minutes of raining, the water made a dozen locations of “casual water” puddles about one inch deep, but just deep enough to cover the ball. I found two or three balls, but not mine. In the second case, I was at the Corinth, MS Country Club. I hit my ball straight down the middle, but when we got to the fairway, about 250 yards from the tee, the fairway was covered by hundreds, maybe over a thousand, sweet gum balls. About the size of a golf ball, but with spikes and made out of wood, the seed pods of the trees that lined both sides of the fairway. I had witnesses in both cases. In both cases, I never found my ball. Sometimes you get Mercy when a bad shot lands in the perfect spot. But then, you need to remember those merciful times, when the game has its way of evening the score, and giving you something bad that you did not deserve.
God told us not to lie. He, Himself, does not lie. It is against His nature.
Here is Bing Crosby singing Straight Down the Middle.
The PGA championship and winner of the FedEx Cup will be decided over the next few weeks, and then the Presidents Cup is in September. So, golf is not finished for the year.
And the professionals must play according to the rules. There are too many people watching. But I like it when you do the right thing when nobody is watching.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
Thoughts from Mark "Hat" Rackley 
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