For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
- Psalm 30:5
Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
- Psalm 126:5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
- James 1:2-4
Am I blue?
Am I blue?
Ain’t these tears in my eyes
Tellin’ you?
[Verse 2]
Am I blue?
You’d be too
If each plan with your man
Done fell through
[Bridge]
Was a time
I was his only one
But now I’m
The sad and lonely one, Lordy
[Verse 3]
Was I gay?
‘Til today
Now he’s gone, and we’re through
Am I blue?
[Verse 3]
Was I gay?
‘Til today
Now he’s gone, and we’re through
Am I blue?
[Outro]
Oh, he’s gone, he left me
Am I blue?
- Grant Clarke, Am I Blue?
This song debuted in the 1929 movie On with the Show. Ethyl Waters sung the song in the movie, but this song was recorded by Billie Holiday in 1941 and ray Charles in 1959. The George Strait song is a different song.
I wrote recently that I am having some symptom that could be diagnosed as mild depression, but I reject that. God will see me through and sometimes, you need to feel what is going on in your life. I am trying, in vain mostly, to reduce the clutter. If I can get rid of the stuff that will never see the light of day again, even the memorabilia, I can pack what is left into a smaller truck, and I can drive myself to Tennessee in about 9 months.
But that means looking at things that are valuable, but they won’t fit in a smaller lifestyle. That means throwing away things that bring back memories, the “dingsbums” of my wife. She loved getting trinkets to remind us of one trip or another. They collected dust until they went into a box – thus not seeing the light of day ever again.
Note: My wife used a colloquial German expression, “dingsbums” for trinkets, thingies, and dust catchers on the shelf. But she could tell you where we were when she added each to our collection. My wife’s lexicon included words from many languages, some of which may no longer be spoken.
So, am I blue? Yes, I am.
Do I still count it all Joy when facing trials? Yes, but the grief process is not a straight line. I feel a little grief each time I throw away won of my wife’s crafting tools. Was the tool ever used? No. Why did my wife buy it? She thought once she felt better, she could use it. The truth was she never felt better.
Was it a waste of money for her to buy it and then have me throw it away? No. It made her feel good. It gave her a reason to work at feeling better. And it gave her hope.
For those who are not caregivers of a person with a terminal disease who was a crafty person, what I just wrote still doesn’t make sense.
Here is Ethyl Waters singing Am I Blue? From the movie On with the Show (1929).
And while I throw away a lot of stuff, possibly tons of stuff by the time I am ready to move, I am making it easier on my son when my time will come to meet Jesus face to face. There will be less for my son to throw away. He says that he has one nostalgic bone in his body, but I have never found it. I can take none of it with me.
Soli Deo Gloria. Only to God be the Glory.
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