I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises. If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.
I had gone to the restroom that Jemima calls her “green room.” Funny calling an executive restroom a “green room,” but since Mary Sheltie Jones is part of their little support group before the Sunday school class and she produces their streaming television channel, maybe it is a green room. But I used it as a changing room; I changed into pink coveralls. I even put my hair into a hairnet. I did not take the time to put it into a bun.
I felt that I was missing something, so I doubled back to the office. Kanok was waiting for me.
I asked, “Kanok, do you have permission to leave the classroom? You should be in Pre-K with five other classmates.”
Kanok said, “I told Miss Madelaine that I needed to walk with you today instead of lying down for a nap. I rarely sleep anyway. She said that she thought that would be a nice thing. She said that I might learn something.”
Julia burst into the room, “Oh, thank Heavens you are here, Mommie Pinkie. I escorted Kanok to the visitor’s chair thinking you would be back from the restroom. Then it dawned on me that you might go straight from there. I was in a bit of a panic.”
I smiled, “I came back to get a notebook to take notes, but I rarely take notes. If anyone has a concern, I write it down when I get back. Those needs for a note are rare, but maybe God wanted me to come back and pick up Kanok. But Kanok, are you up to a lot of walking?”
Kanok said, “I’m going to be four next month. I’m a big girl. I can walk.”
Julia laughed, “I will leave you to your walk. If you go by the exercise room, we will be having a strenuous workout with the ones who have not reached the proficiency in hand-to-hand that I expect.”
I laughed, “Maybe I will skip that. Kanok might not like seeing a bloody nose.”
Kanok asked, “Do you get a bloody nose, Aunt Julia?”
Julia laughed, “Usually no one gets a bloody nose. But we do get bruised at times. Our training must be tough for us to have the confidence to take down someone who is attacking us. First the taser, but then hand to hand combat.”
“Okay, Kanok,” I said, “We need to get you out of your school clothing and into your coveralls. And I need to get your hair put into a bun. I have no idea what conditions we will face. And Julia, my return to the office may be a little later than usual. Keep your monitoring folks on their toes. Clock the two of us from this point and how much time we take at each point along the way. That let’s them know when I might be back in the office. And Kanok is the wild card.”
Julia nodded and she was gone. We went past the restrooms to the elevator. My living quarters, along with my Dad, Ash were still on the second floor. The rest of that floor was offices. But we finished the third floor so that the children had their own rooms, and we had rooms for guests to spend the night. Besides its name being the Big House, it was a big house. We went to Kanok’s room, got her changed, and got her hair fixed. Having learned the Thai trick using a hair stick, the hair was easy. Then again, Kanok had the hair for such things. Of course, Kanok wanted the pink hair stick with the rhinestones. She wanted to look fancy, as if anyone could look fancy in pink work coveralls – when everyone else was in pink work coveralls.
I explained to Kanok that once we got to the cider pulpit we could see if the air quality was good enough to visit Rosie, otherwise that might not be possible in that Kanok was not ready for a respirator.
But first, we went down one floor and into the business center. What had been one bedroom was now the bullpen. Then, the next bedroom was divided into two individual offices.
But when I came into the room, I was a bit shocked, Pink Pearl, my clone daughter from another mother, was usually in the back desk, the window view, and in the chair near the door was Amara. They were visually the difference in night and day, literally. Amara was very dark and from Nigeria. Amara had one class left to complete to get her accounting degree, the last that I heard. Pink Pearl was my clone, sort of. (Granddaughter of a liaison between my Dad and my Mom’s twin sister). She never tanned. Too much sun and she became a deeper shade of pink.
Pink Pearl was sitting at the front desk. The nameplate on the desk said, “Amara.” Pearl looked like she always looked, but her dress was the bright colors and lines of a traditional Nigerian dress. And Pearl had this huge black Afro wig on. Amara was from Nigeria, but she never wore an Afro.
And Amara was professionally dressed, the kind of slim lines that Pearl usually wore. She was seated at Pearl’s desk with Pearl’s name plate, and she only had one thing that was a bit off, other than the dress. She was wearing a long pink wig. While the Afro on Pearl looked unusual, the pink hair flowing around the face and shoulders of a very dark woman. Strikingly beautiful, but shocking.
Pink Pearl greeted me with a smile. “Good afternoon, Mommie Pinkie. Welcome to Accounting, are you here for an audit?”
I hesitated, “No. I was here to check up on everyone. But it seems that you have made some changes.”
Amara said, “Yes, Mom, I told Amara that I wasn’t getting enough sun so we swapped for a while. How do you like my tan?”
Pink Pearl added, “Yes, Mommie Pinkie, and staying away from the window for a while sure makes you get pale in a hurry.”
Tommie-Tat came out with paperwork. Without looking up, she handed some papers to Amara, “Pearl, check these numbers again. We want no mistakes.”
Amara said, “Yes Mrs. Kutz.”
Then Tommie-Tat walked to Pearl and handed her the rest of the paperwork. “And Amara, these are ready for filing.”
Pearl said, “Yes, ma’am. Right away!”
Then Tommie-Tat looked up. “Oh, Mommie Pinkie, I didn’t see you there. Is anything wrong?”
I hesitated, “Do you see anything different in your staff?”
Tommie-Tat shrugged, “A couple of weeks ago, Pearl said that she fell asleep in a tanning booth. And I had never heard of such a thing, but Amara said that she had gone to the same salon and went to the anti-tanning booth. I was a little shocked at the time, but they both do excellent work. I just rolled with it. Tammie, when was it that Pearl and Amara went to that salon?”
Tammie came out of her office. “Oh, hi, Mommie Pinkie. Sawasdee Kah, Kanok.” Kanok was giggling so hard that she barely was able to return the greeting. Tammie said, “According to my recollection, Pearl turned black and Amara turned white the day after Amara got her diploma in the mail. That was two weeks ago tomorrow.”
I asked, “And this has been going on for two weeks?” They nodded. “Does Collum know? You are supposed to be marrying him in a few weeks.”
Pearl said, “Mommie Pinkie, why are you looking at Pearl when you say that? Yes, Collum loves it. But then again, he has had roaming eyes lately. He will come in here to pick me up for a date, and Pearl will say something like if he ever tries white, he can go all night.”
Amara protested, “We only did that a couple of times. I was just messing with you. The other times, you have gone on the dates with your betrothed.”
Pearl smiled, “Thank you, Pearl, you have always been a well-mannered lady ever since you have been here. You went on a couple of dates with my man, but you know who he will marry next month and you were very polite on your dates. As for me, I couldn’t keep my hands off him.”
Kanok was laughing so hard, she had to lean against Amara’s visitor chair, or was it Pearl’s.
It finally dawned on me what was happening. If they really had been doing this for two weeks, that takes dedication.
I said, “Okay, Tammie, promote Amara up to accountant with the raise commensurate with accountant status. Or is it Pearl? Give both the same pay grade.”
Tammie said, “So, the one who has been here the longest is Amara. She will make a couple hundred dollars more per month.”
I waved my hands, “Fine, just get it done and maybe the right Amara will be in the wedding gown and standing next to Collum Buchanan in another month.”
As I walked out of the office, it seemed like I was being set up. But Amara now had her degree. Amara had worked at Lily the Pink from before the Emancipation. She had been a victim of human trafficking, snatched off the streets in Ota, Nigeria. Amara had worked in accounting longer than Pearl, but Pearl had been our accountant for the past two years. And if they were both in on the body swapping routine, Pearl was satisfied with the deal.
As we went back to the elevator, Kanok was still laughing, “Pearl was dressed up like Amara and Amara was dressed up like Pearl. That was so funny!”
I shrugged, “Is that what was different? I didn’t notice.” Kanok laughed even louder.
We walked through the Conference Center. It seemed like we were going to have a party later, but I knew nothing about a party on the schedule.
No More (Noreen Moore), the plant manager at Tracy greeted us when we came through the door of the Cider Operations Control Room.
Kanok said, “No More!”
No More said. “That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”
Kanok turned to me, “Mommie Pinkie, can you wear out a name?”
I sighed, “I have no idea, Kanok. It’s an old expression, but maybe I’m not old enough.”
Kanok huffed, “Well, I sure hope your name isn’t worn out by then. If it is, I wouldn’t know what to call you!”
No More asked, “Kanok, are you getting ready to take over? Is Mommie Pinkie showing you the ropes so that she can retire and let you run the cider house?”
Kanok threw up her hands, “I’m just a little girl. I can’t even drink the stuff, yet!”
No More asked, “Kanok, what is that beautiful pink thing you have in your hair?”
Kanok turned so she could see it better. “It’s called a ‘Pin Puk Phom,’ but you can call it a hair stick. It keeps my hair off my neck if we go to some dirty places in the cider house.”
No More said, “See there, Mommie Pinkie. She already has the routine down. You’ll be retired in no time.”
I huffed, “Who do you think got her hair into the bun?!”
No More asked, “Can you do that?”
I sighed, “Kanok has very straight long hair. You comb it like you are about to make a ponytail. Then you spiral the hair around the stick until you have a spiral bun. You hold the hair bun with one hand and then you skewer the stick through the hair to hold all those twists of the hair together. This hair stick does a nice rough job for what we are doing today, but I might use a couple of sticks on Sundays to prevent a few hairs from escaping the bun. And the leaf combs do a great job and they look really fancy.”
No More looked dubious, “Are you the same Mommie Pinkie that owns this establishment? When did you become so worldly?”
I shrugged, “When I adopted a Thai girl who likes her bling.”
I saw Beatrice MacKenzie, our local dance instructor, at the pulpit.
I asked, “Bea, I thought you had quit cider operations to work full-time with your dance studio.”
Bea smiled, “No, Mommie Pinkie, I am still on the books for shift relief. That usually means nights or graveyards, but Rebecca called in sick this morning. And luckily, I do not have any lessons today.”
We went through bottling, shipping and receiving, and then on toward carbon recovery.
As we were walking toward carbon recovery, I heard someone calling my name from far above me.
Mags was yelling, “Wait, wait!” She came down a ladder.
I sighed, “Mags, we could find something less strenuous for you to do here.”
Mags laughed, “No, I enjoy it here. It is quiet. When I get tired climbing ladders, I lean back against the cage and rest. I don’t go in emergencies. I let the young men do that. I take my time and make the necessary visual observations. And I fill in for Irusya. I am already prepared when she goes on maternity leave. Her work is all over the place, but if I need to go on the Crystal Mountain roof, I can ask one of Mr. Kaiser’s young men. I do not trust myself on that glass roof, even with the safety gear.”
I smiled, “Okay, is working a solitary job in Carbon Recovery mostly to be alone with your thoughts?”
Mags nodded, “My life was a wreck, but God saved me. Now, I am married again, but now to a college professor. I do not want to mess that up, so I study the Bible and rely more on God every day.”
We looped around past the wastewater treatment plant and into the brooder house and chicken coop. Catherine ver Waarloosd showed us what she had learned in college and how that was improving the yield from the eggs and the growth of the turkeys.
Then, we went into the Bakery by the customer entrance.
Kanok became animated. “I want to talk to Daddy Cake!”
I was confused. She had always called Scrambled, my husband, “Daddy Scrammie.”
Scrammie came out from the back. He picked Kanok up and placed her on a dining table, and they started playing Patty Cake, with slightly different words.
“Daddy cake, Daddy cake, baker’s man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Pat it and roll it and mark it with a “K”
And put it in the oven then we can play”
I asked, “Isn’t that mark it with a ‘B’?
Scrammie said, “When the mayor wants a cake, I will mark it with a ‘B’ for Boaz. He is our eldest. But Kanok, Joon, and Sparkle are all our little ones, so Kanok and Joon get to play, while Sparkle makes a mess. If you can think of better lyrics, let me know.”
A couple of young customers were at a corner table. The girl looked too young, but her pregnancy was showing. The boy came over.
He said, “Excuse me, did you say something about the mayor being your son?”
I extended a hand. “I am Pink Lady Apple Yeggs. This is my husband, Scrambled Yeggs. I own this complex and Scrammie owns this bakery. Our eldest son is the mayor, yes. And who are you? Do you have business with the mayor?”
The boy said, “I’m Colin and my sister is Crystal. We don’t have business with the mayor. We are from east of here, a little town called …”
The front door opened, and Dev Yeggs interrupted, “’One Horse.’ You two should have not run from the scene of a murder. Polly stopped you at the perimeter. You explained that the man who owned the house was your uncle. You had come here from One Horse to move in with your uncle because your parents had died. Only deal was that we were investigating the death of your uncle when you walked up. You left your luggage right there in the street and you disappeared. Can you explain that erratic behavior?”
Colin’s eyes filled with tears. “People at the bus station said that the mayor’s mother was the best place to find a job. When I said that my sister was named Crystal, they said we were meant to live here. So, we disappeared into the crowd, and when we knew that the police officer wasn’t watching we went as fast as we could to the main street. We hitched our way to the pharmacy that is down this street, and we were told that the bakery was on the edge of the Crystal Mountain. That’s how we knew we were in the right place.”
Dev sighed, “The policewoman was Francine. She is a rookie, but she was with detective Polly Handel. You violated an order from a detective to stay put. Now, I could arrest you, but let’s all go back to where your sister is still sitting.”
I said, “Dev, two teenagers, one pregnant. No parents. Now the uncle is gone. These children need a guardian and a home.”
Dev looked me in the eyes with a look that made my blood run cold. “They need more than that. Their parents were murdered. The children had an airtight alibi, so they decided to come here. Colin just graduated high school. Crystal was technically raped, but she did not wish the boy to be prosecuted. He is doing community service. Both were underaged. But, if someone is killing off all the Lewis family members, these children may be the next targets. I need to get them downtown. Polly is waiting to interrogate Crystal. Jim will talk to Colin. Poached is at the office running through the unsolved murder case of the parents. We must find out if these murders are related. It looks like the same MO. I’ll need confirmation from the M.E. Let me calm them down and talk to both of them here. We will move them to a safe house. Polly, Ruthie, Dieter, the two rookies, and Sgt. Weiss will be with them. If we think the coast is clear, we will turn over our background information to Dot Com at the mission. That should be enough to satisfy her that the children need a home and adult supervision.”
I said, “I have to get Kanok back to class. She walked with me rather than napping, but their afternoon activities have already begun. The two orphaned teenagers heard about the Crystal Mountain. Can you detour into the corner just so they can see it?”
Dev’s eyes softened, “That sounds like a great idea. They may be living there soon, if we can keep them alive. I have Dieter and Don with me. We can keep them safe long enough for a quick look inside the greenhouse.” Dev waved through the glass at Dieter and the two officers came in. I grabbed Kanok by the arm, and we went through the connecting hallway to the lower level of the apartment building. All along the righthand side was Rev. Jones (apartment and counseling office) and then the nursery and classrooms. On the left was Aunt Tensie’s lab with efficiency apartment and a couple of one-bedroom apartments that may become future classrooms.
The door of Miss Madelaine’s classroom had a note. “Meet us in the Conference Center.”
When we reached the conference center, Norene “No More” Moore approached the microphone.
No More said, “The last of our honored guests has arrived. I am so proud of everyone, especially Kanok, in keeping this a secret from Mommie Pinkie. Mommie Pinkie, if you were the slightest bit curious, you would not be surprised as often as you are.”
I yelled from the far side of the room, “I like surprises, but I am a bit concerned that my daughter was part of this ruse.”
No More said. “Kanok played a key role today. She slowed you down, but then something unscheduled happened in the bakery which slowed you down a little more. But Kanok was assigned homework.”
Kanok ran to the front. No More asked, “What did you do to slow down Mommie Pinkie?”
Kanok said, “We talked to Julia about training people in the exercise room, but Mommie Pinkie did not want to go. We went upstairs to get my coveralls on and get my hair fixed. Mommie Pinkie is getting too good with the Pin Puk Phom, but it still took time. Then, Amara and Pearl swapped each other’s clothing and wore wigs. Mommie Pinkie didn’t know who she was talking to! And Amara got to be an accountant.”
No More said, “Amara is a special guest for two reasons. She just got a promotion and this was going to be her wedding shower, but now there are a lot more guests. So, Kanok, what else?”
Amara and Pearl were still in disguise.
Kanok giggled. “You tried to tell me that I was taking over the company. That was funny too. I’m just in Pre-K School. I showed you my Pin Puk Phom. Well, my shoe came off in Shipping and Aunt Anahera helped me get my shoe back on. Then Aunt Mags called from the top of Carbon Recov. What’s the word? Yeah, Recovery. She came down the ladder really slow, but there are stairs on the other side. She talked to Mommie Pinkie how she goes slow on the ladders, when she didn’t need to take the ladders at all! That was so funny! Then we came back by the waterfall, and I stopped to see what colors the water would change to. And while we were waiting, we got to talk to Aunt Aiyana. She was dipping water from the waterfall. She told us what she was looking for in the water. Then, I got sand in my shoes walking across the volleyball court. And then Daddy and I played Daddy Cake. Then the two people that Uncle Dev was looking for were hiding in the bakery. That took the most time. Really, what I learned on the walkaround is that everybody works hard. And everybody loves my Mommie Pinkie.”
No More asked, “Who were these two people that your Uncle Dev was looking for?”
By now, I was next to Kanok at the mic. “We need to pray for them. Two young teenagers. Dev said to not mention names. They are from a small town on the eastern border of the state. The boy just graduated high school. The girl is a couple of years younger and pregnant. Their parents were murdered there. They came here so that their uncle could be their guardian, but he was murdered before they arrived. When they saw Dev’s crew, they ran. Someone in the crowd knew that we take in strays, and they came to the bakery, looking for the mother of the mayor. All they knew was Crystal Mountain and Pink Lady. They are now in protective custody until our Tracy police determine what is going on. Scrammie’s brother has the best closure rate in the country. He’ll get to the bottom of this, and we’ll have new residents and employees, and we may be helping a girl finish high school. That all depends on what I can do with my friend in child services. But it will take the prayers of all of us.”
No More nodded, “Yes, let’s all pray.” No More led us in prayer and then got back into party mode. “Amara is getting married next month. Amara just got promoted. Her groom just got promoted last week. He is now the plant manager of the manufacturing plant in the Northeast industrial corridor where he had been working. We are so excited for them, and they will still be able to go on their honeymoon. Sometimes promotions means a delay in that kind of thing, but not in this case. But then, everyone got together to say thank you to Mommie Pinkie. We did not know how much we missed your walkarounds. For decades, you walked around. You knew everyone by name. You hugged us regardless of the circumstances. We felt loved. And because of that love, we wanted to bend over backwards to do our best for you. So, while Amara is the big star in this party, Mommie Pinkie, you are always our biggest star.”
Mabel brought out a huge cake. She explained that like we had done for a few brides who had no clue what they wanted for a wedding cake, she was bringing out samples for a taste test. All the members of the wedding party would have a vote, but Amara’s vote could trump the rest if she would finally decide.
And TomCat brought out carts filling with wedding gifts. A crew of Turtle-eers, from Mary down to Arabella, came out with steamer carts with the food for the party.
After everyone went through the line and wished Amara their blessings on her wedding, I found a corner to sit down and take in this huge crowd, all doing something normal. Five years ago, before our emancipation, this would not be happening. Then, I noticed No More had sat beside me.
No More sighed, “I see that stare of yours, Pink. Are you thinking of the bad old days? But we had some good times. Fannie and I were two of the oldest prostitutes. Fannie focused on the technical side of making cider. She became the best cook you ever had. I had been the high-priced woman of the evening who thought all that was beneath her, but I got to know all the ladies. Baldwin brought me to my knees, and you introduced me to Jesus. Fannie should really be running cider operations, but while I seem to not have the mothering instinct, Fannie does. She loves being Grannie Fannie. I do not know how you do it, Pink. You read people and know what they need.”
I laughed, “I make a lot of mistakes, Norene. But I did not make a mistake with you. I realized your haughtiness, but you also had this desire to know everyone. You were the best person to be the boss. You would love them like I love them. But Fannie came to me wanting to retire. But when she started crying about not ever having children, I realized that I could not be having a counseling session with someone who was upset while the children went unsupervised in the far corner of the office. Turning Fannie into Grannie Fannie was helping me. Now, she does not want to retire, ever. And then I found she had a knack for planning bus routes. So, she became the personnel transportation officer besides being the Grannie to everyone, including the employees. Yes, I started that snowball down the hill, but it picked up steam on its own.”
No More simply laughed.
I sighed, “But I hope you have not put the idea into Kanok’s head that she is the next boss. The three young ones have yet to grow up. Making cider was my hairbrained idea when I was the child of the crime family’s enforcer. I wanted nothing to do with that life. But I have six children. I hope one wants to run the business, but if none want to do so, there are Gwen’s four children. I want my children to do what they want to do in life. Joon loves his donuts, and Scrammie says that Joon is a natural baker. But I have Otto to think about. Maybe one of those two wants to simply bake without wanting to make the necessary business decisions. Poached is a good detective. Dev keeps joking that he is slowly becoming a good detective, but my mother instincts tell me he is there. And Tracy has no term limits for mayor. But what happens if Boaz does not get re-elected? The voters are fickle. When they feel their lives are stagnant, they vote for the other candidates. This business can be a nice income stream for a long time, but I want my six children to be the best that each of them can be, doing what makes them happy.”
No More closed her eyes and sighed, “Nice speech, Pink.”
But then Madelaine Morrissey came by, “Mommie Pinkie, I could not ask about enlisting Kanok without spoiling the surprise. I hope that was alright.”
I sighed, “I don’t know if she is old enough to understand that the Bible says to not lie, but in keeping a secret, you are basically telling a lie.”
Madelaine nodded, “Tomorrow, we are going to have a lesson on Leviticus 19:11. That says to not steal, lie or deceive. But we will talk about secrets and the reason for the secrets. Some secrets might be for bad reasons, and you should tell. And we will talk about bullies wanting the hurt your friend who is hiding in the closet. But the common example of the little white lie gets you into trouble quickly. I thought we could use Kanok’s experience.”
I smiled, “You are the teacher. And Kanok is a good little girl even though she doesn’t take naps.”
Madelaine laughed, “Look behind you.”
I turned around. Kanok had walked behind me and leaned against the corner of the room. She was sound asleep in the midst of all the party games. Yep. She kept up with me as we did our walkaround, but the walk wore her out.
Credits
I made a mistake. Okay, I make a lot of mistakes. Somehow, I changed the spelling of Baldwyn Apple to Baldwin Apple. Continuity is hard when characters come and go.
But in describing this year’s Lily the Pink School, about a month ago. I talked about six kindergarten children being taught by Madelaine Morrissey. But Madelaine has two groups in her room, Kindergarten with six children and Pre-K with seven. Then the other children are in preschool, ten children were born in 2023 (eleven with Baffy, but she was promoted to be with Ibie). The younger group has six. Stasya Kaiser teaches the preschoolers. It is a little of a one room school house feel in each room.
In Patty Cake, the original lyrics are Patty Cake instead of Daddy Cake, and mark it with a “B”, put it in the oven for baby and me. To make the “K” for Kanok and the “J” for Joon, the last line is to put it in the oven then we can play. For Sparkle with an “S”, put it in the oven, then make a mess. Okay a work in progress.
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