I’m Pink Lady Apple Yeggs and my friend, and brother-in-law, Deviled Yeggs suggested that I record each project that I set up in the hopes of reforming the people who continue to work for Lily the Pink Enterprises. If for no other reason, it would show how God is at work.
I had a very eager person in my visitor chair, just by himself, but I think I need to introduce him first.
Joon came to me less than a year old. He is from South Korea. His mother was a single mother, undercover policewoman, killed in the line of duty. Her mother was one of GrandPa’s rescued ladies. She could not handle the baby. GrandPa thought I needed a son to go with Kanok, and I thought I could no longer have children. Now we have Pink Sparkle and her older adopted sister Kanok. But Joon is this force of happiness between Kanok and Sparkle that makes my day especially bright. Now he will be four years old in a few months. And there has probably never been a day when he did not smile and laugh at something. Even his bad days have a happy moment.
But now, Joon had climbed into a visitor’s chair as if he needed counselling.
When I walked into the office, he smiled and giggled.
I asked, “And who might you be?”
Joon laughed, “I am Joon Yeggs. I am here to talk to Mommie Pinkie.”
I said, “I know a Joon Yeggs, but he is supposed to be in Pre-K.”
Joon laughed even louder, “No! Mommie Pinkie! That’s next year! I am in the upper class of preschool.”
I smiled, “But you are here in my office, not in preschool.”
Joon giggled, “Miss Madelaine said that I could come down here if there was no one in line for open door. I came down and the door was open, so I got in the chair first!”
I looked up. There was no one in the waiting area. Julia was approaching the door to close it. She was laughing also.
I asked, “Why did Miss Madelaine ask you to come down here? And isn’t Miss Stasya your teacher?”
Joon nodded, ‘Yes, Mommie, Miss Stasya is my teacher, but I had done all they wanted me to do, and I said that I had never come here to visit during open door. So, here I am! Miss Madelaine said she wants me to talk about it tomorrow. I think she might want to come to open door herself.”
I snickered, trying hard not to laugh out loud, “People usually come here when they have a problem with their romantic friend. Who is your girlfriend? And what problem do you have with her?”
Joon brightened, as if a boy who shined with innocence could shine any brighter, “I have a lot of girls in my class. I am friends with all of them. And I have no problems with any of them.”
I pried, “But is there one that you like more than the others?”
Joon shrugged, “I don’t know. I like the girls. They are soft.”
I asked, “Soft?”
Joon nodded, “Yeah. They don’t push and shove as much. And they smell nice. But if I get to choose who is on my ball team, the first one that I pick is Gigi. She plays kick ball and soccer really good, and she’s good at all the other sports.”
I smiled, “Can you imagine everyone in your class going the Flintheart High School?”
Joon asked, “Like we are all grown up?”
I nodded, “Yeah, so who do you think might look the prettiest? Who would you like to know better?”
I knew this was dangerous ground, but I simply wanted to know how his brain worked. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes, he was laughing, “Ellie Rain Allott.”
I asked, “Why her?”
Joon giggled, “She laughs a lot. I like that. She has long black hair like me. And I think her skin looks like salted caramel.”
I asked, “Does she taste like salted caramel?”
Joon laughed, “No! She tastes more like flowers.”
I gasped, “So, you have had a taste?”
Joon nodded eagerly, “We were hugging one day, and I kissed her on the cheek.”
I gasped again, “Did you get in trouble?”
Joon laughed, “No! She was having trouble with her shapes, and I helped her.”
I added, “And stole a kiss in the process.”
Joon thought for a few seconds, “Hmmm. Maybe.”
I laughed, “You little scamp. But you are so cute, I have to keep you.”
Joon threw up his hands, “Where else would I go?”
I asked, “Joon, I know your favorite thing in all the world is your Daddy’s jelly donuts. What comes next?”
Joon thought, but only for a second or two, “People!”
I asked, “Any particular people?”
Joon threw up his hands again, “I don’t know everybody! Mommie Pinkie, we go to church. Sometimes I go to Soapy and Menzie’s softball games. But there are so many people that I don’t know, yet.”
I laughed, “You said, ‘Yet!’ Do you want to be the next mayor of Tracy when your brother Boaz is done?”
Joon giggled, “I don’t know.”
I smiled, “What do you like about people?”
Joon smiled, “I want everyone to smile. I want everybody to laugh. I want everybody to be happy. I don’t know how to tell you this, but there are people here at Lily the Pink who don’t smile.”
I sighed, “Oh, really? What do you do when people don’t smile?”
Joon started giggling again, “I thought of something. I ran up to the ones with frowns, and I tagged them. Then I said, ‘You’re it!’”
I asked, “What do they do then?”
Joon replied, “They would say that I was being silly because they were not playing a game of tag.”
I smiled, “Then what?”
Joon giggled, “I would say that I am laughing and smiling. Now, you are it. It’s your turn to laugh and smile. And sometimes, they would smile. But not all the time.”
I had to rethink my walkthrough. The safety auditors talk of evaporative acts. When someone is not tied off when walking along the catwalks, or not wearing a hardhat or not wearing safety glasses. Then a second later, when they see the auditor, they quickly fix the problem. They know they are violating a rule, or they would not carefully fix the problem. But now, I need to look for a different type of evaporative act. When I see people, they are smiling. But when I am not there, who is not smiling? Then they put on a fake smile for my benefit. Joon taught me something.
I smiled. I knelt beside my visitor’s chair, and I gave Joon a big hug. “Thank you so much for coming for open door today, Joon. You have brought a smile to my face. I love you, Joon.”
Joon giggled, “I know you love me, Mommie. That is why I am so happy.”
I squeezed him even tighter.
There was a familiar knock at the door.
I said, “Come in, Tommie Tat.”
Tommie Tat came in and laughed, “Did Joon bring you to your knees, Mommie Pinkie?”
I got up and brushed off my knees. “No, and what brings you to my office?”
Tommie Tat smiled, “I wanted to tell you, but I will tell Joon instead. Joon, in another nine months, you will have a new playmate in the nursery.”
Joon was excited, “Mommie, that means that Tatty is preggers.” Tommie Tat doubled over laughing.
I just shook my head. “Thank you, Joon, for telling me what that meant, but how did you know?”
Joon giggled, “Gigi knows all the preggers in the building. She talks about them. She says that they all gather in the hot tub, cool tub, and wading pool, especially the wading pool so that the babies inside them can meet their friends.”
Tommie Tat said, “Does that work?”
Joon said, “It’s in the Bible.”
I suggested, “Are you talking about when John the Baptist leapt for joy because Jesus was approaching, and Elizabeth and Mary were both pregnant with them at the time?”
Joon smiled, “Yeah, that one!”
I moaned, “One more person to bring into the office. Gigi may know of a couple of ladies who need to be added to the Mommie Club. But how does she know? Maybe Gwen is right. I do not have a curious bone in my body, or I would know more about what was going on.”
Tommie Tat laughed, “Mommie Pinkie, don’t be so hard on yourself.”
I gasped, “Did I say that out loud?”
Joon and Tommie Tat were laughing and nodding their heads.
Joon said, “Mommie, I like to talk out loud when I think. It’s okay.”
Tommie Tat asked him, “Do you like to think, Joon?”
“Yeah!”
Tommie Tat asked, “What do you think about?”
Joon laughed really hard, “Jelly Donuts!”
I shook my head, “Joon, you have been thinking of a lot, and jelly donuts had nothing to do with it. Tommie, if I forget the next time I am in the admin bullpen, I want to talk to Tammie about doing some spy work, maybe enlist No More (Norene Moore) and maybe Joseline Johnson. I want to know if we have people who habitually wear a frown. If I can get these people to open up, and tell why they rarely smile, we might make this place a better place to work. Yep, Joon is a powerful thinker.”
Then the door opened again. It was Thomas ver Waarloosd. “We have a half dozen jelly donuts here. We are unable to sell them, and we want them eaten while they are still fresh. I was hoping there was someone here who can eat the donuts.”
Joon was bouncing up in the visitor chair, “Me! Me! Me!”
I asked, “Thomas, did Joon put you up to this?” Thomas made it clear this was straight from my husband, Scrambled.
I put my foot down. “In all fairness, I think Julia is at the door and can hear me. One donut goes to her, one to Thomas, one to Tommie Tat, one to me, and the other two to Joon.”
Tommie Tat took a bite and then asked, “What is this?”
Joon said, “It tastes like the orange marmalade I put on my waffles.”
Thomas nodded, “Yes, this is really a taste test.”
I asked, “How did you squirt the marmalade into the donut? Would that not jam up the equipment?”
Thomas nodded, “Blaise designed a self-cleaning piping tip. It has a blade that swirls inside the tip. Either the little pieces of the orange skin are aligned with the piping tip or they are cut. We made a couple dozen this morning and Blaise’s piping tip has not clogged yet.”
Joon, inhaling the second one, asked, “Where are the rest of them?”
Thomas said, “We gave them to customers in exchange for their opinion. These delights are now on the menu. We are thinking about an orange and cream combo next.”
Joon said, “Those were great donuts!”
I asked, “Were?!” I was only half finished with my one, and Joon was at least using his napkin to wipe his face and hands after eating two. And Joon simply giggled.
Julia was standing in the doorway, and Ellie Rain ran up to her. Ellie Rain whispered something to Julia.
Julia asked, in her security chief voice, “Is there a Joon Yeggs in your office, Mommie Pinkie? Miss Ellie Rain Allott requires his assistance. He is her buddy in Miss Stasya’s buddy system, and they are working on letters. Miss Ellie Rain says that she needs him.”
Joon hopped off the chair, “Gotta go! I love you, Mommie. I think you are going to be just fine, Tommie Tatty.” Joon ran to Ellie Rain and the two held hands as they went down the hallway to the preschool.
Watching the two preschoolers walking and holding hands, I wondered if Stasya had puppy love in mind or if she was simply employing the buddy system like they do in swimming pools and lakes. In swimming, it is to prevent drowning. With Stasya, it will be to increase learning and teach cooperation and other social skills.
I also wondered if Ellie Rain laughed a lot because she just liked to laugh, or because she liked Joon, or Joon simply caused everyone to laugh because of his bubbly personality. But there were those who did not laugh when Joon tried his best to get them to smile. I needed to investigate that phenomenon.
Credits
Our son’s first grade teacher called my wife and said our son had been caught in the bathroom, kissing a girl. When my wife asked him if he liked boys or girls, he said that the girls were softer and they smelled nice. And he is a monogamous heterosexual today.
I remember the buddy system at scout camp. Any time that the lifeguard blew his whistle, you had to grab your buddy’s hand and hold it in the air.
Among the objectives of preschool are the basic learning goals or recognizing colors, shapes, numbers, and letters, they also teach social skills, cooperation, helping one another, and obeying the rules.
And rumor has it that last year when Miss Madelaine was teaching numbers, she posed a question to Joon. She said, “Joon, let’s say that your Daddy gives you three jelly donuts. And then he gives you three more jelly donuts. What do you have?” Joon’s reply was very quick, “I have a tummy ache because I ate them all.”
Leave a Reply